Most Recent Rants
by Paige, spam, and katroz

Sunday, April 29, 2001
:::-Hey, looking at the harshness below I figured I should clarify. I like anthromorphs. I like antro comics.. heck and we all know antro's have sex. It's just the porn.. and the badly scribed anthro porn that bothers me the most. *hides her "cat dancer comics"*
In other news I won the Nocturis.net contest. What a fucking fluke! i didn't even MEAN to enter, I was honestly trying to cheer up the judge with some humor. The first time in my life I've actually won something really cool and it was a MISTAKE. *does a little dance*-:::
- 2:20:06 PM

Tuesday, April 24, 2001
:::-Stumbled onto a Furry Porn site today. My eyes still burn. Somehow and pardon my french. the thought of a white lion wih human like features sucking on the clit of a white tiger female just um.. Doesn't.. Inspire anything but.. "a Whhhhyy??" reaction in me. Also mild discust. Now if we were talking about an anamorphic elephant with is big giant elephant dong.. Now THat's classy. YES! Oh and I know already that this blog will somehow generate the best of the best hits so might as well say it all while I'm being foul.
People who take furry sex to serriously SCARE me. I mean this is the basic thing I came across. Hide the kids eyes now.. this gets dirty.
"Winky Winky poo poo screamed in extacy as Gobbly gook thrust his big huge lupine dick deep into her Bowels. Gook dug her claws deep into his mane of white hair. Her lips part slowly as her tounge lolls out.. saliva dripping to the ground with every thrust Poo Poo makes. With every moan he pushes himself deeper and deeper. His hard wolf cock plunging deeper than any wang has ever pushed into her before. . "
NOO! What the HELL?! Deep and wolf cock should not be in the same sentance. Correction Wolf AND cock should not be in the same sentance unless we are talking about the bird of the same name. "The wolf snorted at the cock as he greeted the rising sun"
Sure it was my choice to read more than the first few sentances.. But like an Ed Wood Movie it was to bad to look away.
Now I'll be sleeping and thinking about all the wonderful ways to explain an animal's penis with third grade alegories. Christ.

Of course this means I'm going to end up writing a fury porn soon. That's the way it goes.. it starts with Salior Moon hentai.. going from something I don't like.. to an addiction .. and it's going to become that way with furry porn. I just know it. Next thing you know in my comic Bastets are going to be bending over Coraxes and giving them a what for!-:::
- 3:44:06 AM

Monday, April 16, 2001
:::-I've been thinking about setting up a blog for people to post memorries about Caz. My college. I hear it's become quite the preppy college now. No where near the inventive party college we remember. Inventive because it wasn't a real party college but more or less it was always full of quirky adventures. Pig heads staked out on the Quad. Me underage and to drunk to even fell sickened as I stared into the eyes of the dead swine.. The security guard and the other girl witnessing getting ill. The security guard who knew my age and us agreeing that we didn't see this and we didn't cross paths. The grumbling Janitor dude having to fish one of the four heads out of the fountian which doesn't even EXIST anymore.. Walking up in the morning to my roomie Nikki climbing in my bed to tell me about this stupid rumor she heard... I mean we all have quirky stories to tell and it's best to look back before the fog of age sets in. Ah well.-:::
- 4:49:22 AM


:::- So my roomates are gone. I am like way happy. I've taken up residence in our living room where I can listen to my Acid Jazz, Trance, Lounge, (strangely enough I'm not keen on Big Band), chamber music, and of course the ALWAYS popular at late nights when I take my snack and coffee break... Modren rock (XtremeMod on Spinner.com I adore spinner. I love spinner. You have no idea how much I love the HUGE ass selection of music they have of all these TYPES of music in a convienant "good even at 56K" format. I LOVE SPINNER! That and it sounds like Mistress Carrie does the hour "this is Spinner.com" identification thang.
So tommorrow I get my haircut. It's time for a change but I'm keeping the fuchia "war braid" I have no idea what style I'm going for, but it's time for a change. Well back to the missing roomates. they left for Vegas Saturday morning. Of course I slept most of Saturday morning so I didn't get to see them off. But they left me a gift a nice happy smokible stick. So long story short I spent this weekend drinking druging and TRYING my damnest to get inspired for a food based website (see the connection) Oddly enough, inspiration about food never came. Just a morbid facination with watching "I Love Lucy" and other Black and White shows. I still like to think I have a healthy intrest in black and white TV.. well let's look at Clerks the movie... In color do you think it would have been any good? No. I argue the Grey tones symbolized the midtones of the characters Randal Vs. Dante vs Jay and Bob.
THEN I realize.. Holy crap it's 10 am on easter Sunday and I'm sitting here having burned a Yankee Candle House Warmer Candle (The most appreciated gift for me is the gift of candles) all the way to the half way point.. That's about 30 hours Watching TV, drinking coffee.. have i EVEN gone to the bathroom in the past.. however long I've been here? I know I've changed clothes.. but.. Wait.. Can't think about such thoughts now.. Offbeat Cinema is on (a show from Buffallo, NY shown out here in Cali. It's Upstate, NY.. it's black and whilte bad movies.. It's Hepcats! It's.. Cool You can catch whole eps of the show at offbeatcinema.com

So needless to say a weekend spent druged, drunk and living the type of worthless existance I always wanted to wallow in for 3 days.. and yet nothing productive to show for it except of course.. a LOT of theorys about shows and movies made before my parents even met.
Which don't get me wrong is GREAT! I mean .. but it's not going to be paying any bills anytime soon.-:::
- 4:42:46 AM

Wednesday, April 04, 2001
:::-I should apologize in advance for this. I was watching the Flintstones and I just snapped. The conventions and canned laughter and the bad jokes FINALLY got to me. I was up at the wee hours of the morning actually talking to the TV. "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?? THAT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!"
So in a chat at Subcafe someone made a mention of the room situation potentially being like a bad sitcom. Me the perpetually bad roomate, Hex as the straightman, David as the guy I don't even know, Kyms just because she said she wanted to hang out with me and Ashlan because.. just cause.
So sorry in advanced.

Episode 5: Kym's Big Break!

Scene opens on David and Hex having morning coffee.

Hex: Gosh I can't believe it's April first already. Luckily for US it's a short day.
David: This a strange and if you ask me, dumb American custom.
Hex: April Fools day?
David: No.. Making one day a year shorter.

(canned laughter)

Ashlan BUSTS Through the door and does a double take
Ashlan: Heeey hey!!! Hoooo hoo!! Oh wait.. no Paige?

(canned laughter and a few random whoops)

Hex: She still hasn't waken up yet
David: But it's 3pm!!!

(canned laughter)

Hex and Ashlan in unison sing songing: "that's our goth!"

Paige's door opens and out walks Kyms.

Hex: wha-wha-What?!!!! Who are you?!!!
Kyms: I'm Kyms.. Paige's friend.. I live here now.

David and Hex: WHAT?!!!!
Ashlan to the camera: Here we go again
(canned laughter and a few cheers)

Cue themesong.

They were just two average guys.... A boy from Pentucky... A boy from Somolia.... They live together unitllllllll the girls came Now they're the WACKY FUN FUN
Group!!!

Show title cards roll.

Hex: PAAAAAIGE!! Who is this girl??!!
Ashlan: GUTHERS!!

Paige emerges..hair standing straight up looking like a bomb went off in her room. "Mice?"

(caned laughter)

Ashlan: No it's me Ashlan, your wacky and over the top next door neighbor who never gets in trouble for breaking and entering! Who's this girl?
Paige: What girl?
David: the one sleeping in your room who says she lives here now?

Paige: That's a girl?!!
Kyms: WHY I NEVER !!
Kyms SLAPS Paige hard across the face..
Paige: So you'll be back for dinner so we can arrange your side of the room?
Kyms: sure!

Ashlan: GUTHRIEEEEE!!!

The telephone rings.. David picks it up.. he puts a finger in his ear to block all the noise.

David: what's that? We won a trip to Idaho! ALLRIGHT!!
David hangs up the phone and jumps up on the couch
David: HEY GUYS! Great news! We're all going to Idaho!

All: IDAHO! OH BOY!!!
Paige: I can't wait to go surfing!!

Time for a Commercial Break.

Come back from Commercial Break

The group is gathered in a Snowy Idaho field. All are dressed sensibly with the exception of Paige who's wearing a wetsuit and holding a surfbord.

Ashlan: Wow, thanks guys for letting me come along.
Hex: I could never say No to a Pretty lady like you Ashlan!
(random ooooooohhhs)
Ashlan Blushes
Paige: I don't get it.. where's the beach?
David: There's no beach out here airhead! Even I know that!
Kyms: But there's plenty of white heads!
(Canned laughter)

Hex: well what do we do now that we're here?
Kyms: Oh I have a friend out here who will take us in, no problem.
David: That's good.. I'm very cold.
Paige: You're cold? I'm freezing
(canned laughter)

Simple fade out (a la Facts of Life) and a simple fade in.. camera shakes a bit.. the group is now gathered in the disco lounge of DEX. Dex is wearing 70’s garb and sweatsocks pulled up to his knees. When ever he’s not speaking he snaps his fingers and points at any one of the girls in the room with a “heeeeey.” Look.

Kyms: Dex is my old record producer back when I used to perform as part of N*Sink’s backup singers.

Dex: that’s right Kyms was one of the best.. which reminds me.. the two of us need to talk..

Kyms: Oh BOY! I hope it’s good!
Dex: Oh baby, it’s always good when Dex is put to the X.
(croud Oooohs at that)

Paige: So when will we hit the beach?
Ashlan: Paige.. you don’t even know how to surf.

Paige holds up a can of SEX WAX

Paige: But I really wanted to use this and they said I had to surf first if I was going to use it.

David slaps his forehead.
Kyms busts out of the room, clearly excited

Kyms: Guess what guys! Dex tells me that I have a full record deal!

David: (heartfelt) Oh no.. that means you’ll be leaving us.
Ashlan: But you can’t leave Kyms.. you just joined up with us.
Kyms: But I must follow my heart..
Paige: But I just quit my job so you could pay my rent for me!

Kyms strikes a dramatic pose.. hand on her heart..
Kyms: You all are holding me back. If you were REALLY my friends.. (pause) You would.. Be with me on this.

Commercial for the next episode runs.. spoiling the rest of THIS episode but whetting your palate enough that you’ll come back for more NEXT week

Announcer: Will Kyms career take off?
Shot of Kyms breaking a bottle against the door
Announcer: or will success DESTROY HER? Next time on The HAPPY HAPPY FUN SHOW!! -:::
- 5:21:48 AM

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