good evening..... i'm fine, and yourself?
hiyahu is at home now. in boston. not paying just a normal visit, mind you. i had to go to court today, to protest a traffic ticket i got in july. i don't have it anymore. hiyahu is a smooth talker. :)
no, really, as those who know me well can surely attest, while i can have oodles of charm on occasion, i generally just get nervous and talk way too fast in a situation like this. as i precisely did this morning. good thing i really wasn't at fault, or i would have lost big time.
it was one of those police stings which are all too familiar in boston now, where a plain-clothes officer will stand on a curb waiting for traffic to approach and then step into a crosswalk. anyone who doesn't stop for this guy with one foot in the zebra gets a $25 ticket and about a $1200/annum hike on auto insurance. how fucking lame.
one thing i absolutely love about life in providence is that the cops don't suck. they do their jobs and do them well, without being hardasses like most other cops i've come across. providence cops : you rule.
anyways, moving on with my story... when i got to the scene of the crime (the crime being the foul mess set up by these keepers of the piece), i was in the right hand lane of a two lane street. on the left was a large white van stopped, which i assumed was taking a left hand turn or a u-turn or something. no blinker on, but whatever, you always have to take into account that boston drivers are doing stupid stuff 95% of the time... myself included. well, there were no windows on the back or side of the van, so i had no idea that one of boston's finest ("finest what?" is what i want to know) was standing in front of the van. my lane of traffic was moving normally.... i mean nobody was stopping or slowing down for the guy, nobody. nobody could see 'em for chrissakes. so i get to the crosswalk and i see the guy. i have a quick eye... i also notice his donut gut, and his badge on a lanyard.
so i know this guy's a cop. at this point i figure he's pulled over the van. weird spot to do it. but whatever, you always have to take into account that boston cops are doing stupid stuff 95% of the time... these guys included. he doesn't look like he's trying to cross. then i notice that everyone else is getting pulled over. fuck. i had slowed down enough that i could have stopped. but i knew the folks behind me wouldn't stop in time. it was up to me to go through the walk or else take it in the rear.
not that way, you sick bastard.
anyways, long story short, these guys are goign to cause an accident sometime soon. doing that in an area where people drive 40mph is just stupid. the $25 the city would have made on that ticket is almost certainly more than offset by these officer's salaries and proccessing my ticket and processing my appeal and giving me my hearing. everyone's losing here.
i fucking hate driving in boston. it's hard enough when people aren't trying to make you screw up. oh well, it's past me. at least the court magistrate was a sensible person. court magistrate guy : you rule.
so, you know what i did the day after i got my ticket? i went to the same place where the sting was the day before. yep, the piece keepers are back in action today. i was at the front of my block of traffic... i was the first car that was going to reach them. they were ready, i could smell their anticipation. they were salivating, about to pounce, because they were sure they had at least another half dozen tickets in the bag. they were going to have fun with this one. now, i would never let that happen. i was going to have fun with them today.
i do the speed limit as i approch them from about a block away. i start to roll down my window. about 20 yards before the crosswalk i apply the brakes. 10 yards to go, i am at idling speed. i stop a good 5 yards before the crosswalk with a giant fucking grin on my face. i wave with both hands at first to the undercover officer in the crosswalk, and then to the officers trying to remain out of sight, the uniformed cops who were doing the pulling-over. i stick my head and left arm out the the window. i shout in an embarassingly loud and equally obnoxious voice 'hey there, officer! just go ahead, you can cross. have a nice day.' and i wave him across. of course he has to cross, and of course he knows that i just ruined this sting for them. he gives me the biggest look of disdain, and i ask what's wrong. it was just too funny.
i kept that day from sucking for at least a few people. i like to do what i can. :)
posted by hiyahu on 10/28/2000 12:36:40 AM
