A journey of self discovery. A living, growing relationship with God.

paulsjourney.com

It all hurts too much.
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Tuesday, September 18
 
   

Room-mate


My new room-mate moved in on Sunday. So far only met him when he's high on caffeine, so let's hope he's a little more sedate without the drugs. He's an Aussie, so he can't be too bad.

     
 
   
Ewww. That was too sweet. Why does chocky cake always look better than it tastes?
     
 
   

Splurge!


Chocolate cake with lunch! :)

     
 
   

Planning the Future


Hey! I just worked out how I can afford to do Bible College! Financial logistics should be sorted by the time I return to Oz. But the other logistical challenge is keeping my IT skills up, because I've worked out long ago that I can't work and study at the same time. And now I have it: Do a semester of study, then work the remainder of the year. Maybe even do an IT certification after/during each study hiatus, then go O/S to do a 6 month contract, cram in a little backpacking time, and come back for the first semester next year. Only problem is that this means I'm doing the same semester each year, so I'll miss out on subjects only done in the other semester. But that can be solved by doing a 12 month contract partway through the degree. Or going to the states where their semesters are at different times. Cool. I like this idea already. (And don't tell Mum, but I like the idea of doing one of those contracts in Saudi.)

Of course, the plans of mice and men would gladly be interrupted by the introduction of a good woman. Perhaps I shouldn't restrict myself to Australians. What's the harm in flying a family back and forth across the globe to see their grandparents?

     
Monday, September 17
 
   
What's gonna become of me? I'm so not over her.
     
 
   

Weekend adventures


One of Scott's drinking friends up in Northampton got in a fight the other night, and Scott had to take him to hospital, not getting home till 6am. Apparently he's a tough chap, but scored a broken nose and a fractured skull. Sure, Scott's a decent chap who would have borne with his mate's stupidity, but that kind of thing is a little outside our comfort zones. No wonder he wants to go to Brighton with me this weekend.

Meanwhile, I had a relatively quiet night (still under the weather), but interesting coz I invited in this Catalonian (Spanish) guy sitting on the curb for a drink or two while he waited for his mates to show up. (Poor chap had just got the sack as a barman coz his English still isn't good enough after 2 months on the job.) Who knows... I might have a friend to stay with when I see spain now!

And the new Klix drink machines came in. Very flash, but you can't use your own mug so it loses points for not being enviro-friendly. Tea, coffee, soups, cordials, cold water and all! And instead of brewing the stuff in some disgustingly germ-ridden internals, it's all done in the cup. Refills aren't powders, but special stacked cups with powders (or teabags with milk powder) in the base. So I guess the internals are quite simple: Drop the relevant cup, squirt a pressurised stream of hot or cold water, and open the little door. Nifty indeed, but all these leftover plastic cups are pissing me off.

     
Sunday, September 16
 
   

Why do I write?


For whom do I write this diary?

  • For me - So I have a searchable history of my activities and attitudes. (Yes, I have a splendid memory!) And to improve the writing skills I enjoy so much.
  • For my family and friends - so they can see what I'm up to, and pray for me if I'm not doing okay.
  • For us: Gen-X netizens questioning life - because I believe I've found what we're all looking for.
  • For my kids - If I keep this up for life, someday I might find it a useful resource in helping them through problems I had at their age. (They may even want to read it themselves, to understand their Dad better? Nah.)
  • For my significant other - once Piglet, now unknown but well anticipated - this diary will one day be my living gift to the love of my life.
  • For God - to live transparently and gratefully in the grace He showers on me.

    (And no, I am not talking out of my ass.) Sure, I write to be liked, to be popular, but I have a message that begs to be told. Not a proclamation, but a story. A story told day by day - a fragile life, walking transparently in the light. Evidence that demands a verdict.

  •      
     
       

    Afghanistan


    I was doing a little research for a better understanding of the bin Ladin situation: The CIA world factbook on Afghanistan gives some useful perspective. The poor sods, they have 6 borders to defend! China 76 km, Iran 936 km, Pakistan 2,430 km, Tajikistan 1,206 km, Turkmenistan 744 km, and Uzbekistan 137 km. And all that without a unified national army! And oh, dear: "no functioning central government."

         
     
       

    Juice


    Woohoo! Just updated all my Juice links up till today. Now there'll be a bit more than just the sad stories of my love life. But of course, for those sadists of you who visit specifically because of my pitiful love life, I wouldn't dare to disappoint you. :)

         
    Saturday, September 15
     
       

    Review


    I was just reviewing my diary entries to update my "Juice" links bar, and I discovered that I completely forgot to mention the fact that I got bogged on New Year's Day! Well, some kind of saga that was. Rather embarrassing too - with photos to prove it. Piglet and I drove to the airport field to watch the sunrise, but, um, I didn't realise how soft the ground was. The rescue truck got bogged too. :)

         
     
       

    Me, Arrested?


    My mate Scott sent me this link.

    BTW, I found /ps dangerously funny.

         
     
       

    Les Miserables


    Les Mis was fantastic last night. I went by myself, just on the spur of the moment. £25 for 2nd balcony. I'd been singing 'Let him live' in my head all day, which was the reason I went, so I had a good old sob when it came on. And no, I'm not ready to analyse why. I just needed a release.

         
    Friday, September 14
     
       
    Well, on the spur of the moment, I'm off to see if I can score a last minute seat for Les Mis!
         
     
       

    Citizen of the World


    Last night at the memorial ceremony, when they played the American national anthem, I felt a stirring in me. It was as if I was proud to be an American. But of course I'm not. Then it occurred to me that I am becoming a citizen of the world. Now I know I'm Australian and I love my country more than any other, don't get me wrong. The last time this happened was at the proms concert that Tricia invited me to. A few whiskies and all those pomp-and-circumstance "Land of Hope and Glory" numbers, and by the end of the evening I was proud to be British! (??) This vicarious enjoyment of other's national pride also comes through when I listen to the Scottish Bagpipes. Perhaps I'm simply a sucker for an anthem, or maybe I'm coming to feel the community of at least those english-speaking nations which I have experienced. It's unknowable at present, but more travel will help iron things out. (Aha!)

         
     
       

    Puking Piker


    I saw a guy puke next to me on the subway last night. A full portion of chips, straight up in 3 servings. Probably only had 5 minutes in there. I can tell coz they still smelt good.

    Everyone else fled but really you can't be disgusted. It's the kind of stupid thing we all do once in a while. We can just hope that we'll have the discretion to do it in a less unfortunate place.

         
     
       

    More coffee, anyone?


    Our workplace is getting a bunch of new vending machines for hot drinks. (The old ones were fine. Maybe they've got a cheaper contract?) But it never quite occurred to me the bother of such a changeover. Some poor grunts have to lug these huge monoliths out in the evening (3 from every floor), then another set of grunts have the pleasure of hauling in the new ones in the morning. And then (is this really in the contract?) umpteen underpaid reps have to stand by the new machines for half a day in case we can't work out how to use them. Now it's a sad day when a bank employee can't work out how to use a coffee machine...

         
     
       

    An Antique Writing Desk


    Shh! I know a surprise works best when I keep it a secret, but I'm about to burst! (Mum's not PC-literate so I doubt she'll read this post.)

    Just this lunch hour, I saw a security guy sitting at a really lovely antique writing desk, and I remembered that Mum has always wanted one of those, but could never spare the money. Now that I'm earning good money, when I get back I'll take a small amount out of my nest egg, and bless her with a little shopping trip. Sure, I'm trying to save it all so I can go to bible college, but this little bit would surely be a worthwhile deduction.

    So, what do you think?

         
     
       
    A mate is calling off his planned holiday to NY next year, because "the bar I want to go to is no longer there." LOL. How funny is that?
         
     
       
    Just got a brainstorm for a way to insert random quotes between each diary entry. Wonder when I'll get off my ass to do it?
         
     
       
    Why is it that we think ppl with stronger accents are less educated?
         
     
       

    "I'm so sorry!"


    Had a memorial service for the WTC attack at our church last night (lots of americans in our congregation). Had a good cry. (About time!) A woman came by full of concern for me, said "I'm so sorry!" and put her hand on my shoulder. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't know anyone who died, and in fact, I had no decent reason at all for crying. I just kept mum and thanked her. Someone from the prayer ministry came by to ask if she could pray for me, so I accepted and explained that I do have an intercessory gifting, but because I'm so internally disconnected at the moment I can't tell if I'm feeling their pain or mine. So another straw goes on the camel's back in the name of reconnecting my head and heart.

         
    Thursday, September 13
     
       

    WTC :: A controversial rant


    My main reaction right now is anger at the media's one-sided reporting. Just because it's a place near and dear to our pockets, and a symbol of our (questionable) cultural values, the attack gets all this press. What about the tens of thousands who are murdered in atrocities every day but hardly ever make the news because they're in countries "we" dont care about? Bombing NY is a mere speck of the sadness occurring in countries that have endured long-standing wars. And now we're all frightened to get in a plane. Just try crossing the road - you've way more chance of dying by car than by plane.

    If you excuse the rant, I'll excuse the media. As far as I'm concerned, they're both storms in a teacup.

         
     
       

    Bookworm Paul


    What's this? I'm becoming quite a reader. Partly a factor of bad pay TV at home (ntl), and a walkman on the blink, the humble paperback has become quite a friend. I started a Leanne Payne book before said conference, but it not being a 'storybook' I quickly forsook it for Tolkein's "The Hobbit," which became the first book I've actually finished in over a year. And now I'm just past halfway through Bill Bryson's "Notes from a Small Island" (his UK travel diary*), and I've already bought my next: Pete McCarthy's similarly humourous travel diary for Ireland; "McCarthy's Bar." All this reading is quite out of character for yours truly, but I do get a kick out of laughing out loud on the train.

    * Although a little light on *good* places to visit, Bryson's command of the english language is positively inspirational. His turn of phrase gets me circling and underlining on every second page, and he's already taught me about 12 new words. While reading about a myriad of places *not* to visit, I'm absorbing an intense appreciation for all things British - language, architecture, countryside, culture, and incongruence. They really are quite a charming breed.

         
     
       
    Got IE6 yet?
         
     
       

    The Proms


    Went to the Proms last night. Heather is jealous. £3 if you turn up 2 hours early and stand up for it, which was rather a different experience. First song wasn't my cup of tea, but after the interval it picked up with a nice punchy number with dischordant arty bits which suited my mood. It was the Orchestre de Paris, and my two observations about the conductor Christoph Eschenbach are 1) he never uses his left arm, and 2) he badly needs a new suit.

         
     

    Read More...

    Remember this blog is in reverse chronological order. If something you read doesn't make sense, it's because you missed the context. Start at the bottom and read the oldest entry first. Or for the full story, hit the archives...

    07/30/2000 - 08/05/2000    08/06/2000 - 08/12/2000    08/13/2000 - 08/19/2000    08/20/2000 - 08/26/2000    08/27/2000 - 09/02/2000    09/03/2000 - 09/09/2000    09/10/2000 - 09/16/2000