Now Playing: Delirium . Silence

So... this is it. I'm leaving early monday morning to go out to California. I worry so much about what is going to happen afterwards. What will happen in the short period of time before i go. What will happen while i'm there. How is it going to be when i come back. I hate this insecure feeling that is flowing through my body right now.

I'm a creature of feeling which means i do what i feel at that moment. My emotions usually end up ruling over my mind and logic. Sometimes it's a life saver. Sometimes it produces really unfavorable results. Right now... i can't really say how my emotions would rule over me. I'll just have to see how it goes.
facetious denise said at 7:47 PM

Now Playing: 3LW . No More

It's annoying how people come in at the middle of the day to get drunk at the bar. It's annoying if they decide to have a very public conversation, drunk, on their cellphones. It's annoying when people come in to get drunk in the middle of the day, shout on their cellphones and cuss up a storm at the same time. It's especially annoying when one of them came in earlier to eat lunch and comes back with their friend to get drunk and is talking shit about the restaurant. But she's back to get drunk. Why did she come back? Annoying.

Wednesday, in the paper, I read that Ming Tsai of East Meets West is coming to town for a Alzheimer's convention dinner. It was really funny to read that he's really good friends with my old piano teacher! "Auntie Lucy" is what he calls her. I wish I never quit piano. Haha.

And I was watching CNN today about how Mister Rogers is finally calling it quits on his show Mister Rogers neighborhood. They were talking about his life, and showing the typical little glimpses on his life. Didja know he swims in the morning? They said it was much like himself, mythotical and slow but he did us a special favor on the day they were shooting him... he swam with bathing trunks on. (oh my!)

I heard Anson's getting his wisdom teeth pulled. I worry because he's driving home after the operation. At least that's what I heard. I was thinking... if I was still his gf... then I would've drove him to and from, tucked his drugged self into bed and rubbed his back until he fell asleep. And i would have stayed in case if he needed anything. But what's the point in playing what if games?

facetious denise said at 3:24 PM

Now Playing: Destiny's Child . Emotions

It's nice to know i still got it.
facetious denise said at 10:48 AM

Now Playing: Michelle Branch . Everywhere

I don't know what to say. I could say that i'm appalled. I could say that it's hard. I could say that it's easy. I could say that i'm dissapointed... actually really dissapointed.

Now Playing: Natalie Imbruglia . Troubled by the Way We Came Together

They say there are levels of grieving when you're broken up with someone. There is 1) denial and isolation, 2) anger, 3) bargaining, 4) depresion, and 5) acceptance. Throughout these days, I tend to travel between all the levels. Some more than the others, but i still go to each one of them at times. But even though I have hit the last stage, I know i'm not completely over him. Far from actually. But I do the best I can (which from my observers say is pretty damn good!). But maybe that's on the outside... I should ask Christina, she'd know. But i know wthat i have no more power to do anything. If I did then i'd be trapping myself back into that one sided relationship. That is what i do not want. I know he has his flaws. And I have mine too. But at least i'm trying to conquer mine. If he thinks that IMing online is the most he can do for the lady who he deemed as his "everything" then I don't think she really was his "everything." Sad if it's true.
facetious denise said at 3:49 PM

Now Playing: Annie Lennox . Why

One more final until I am offcially on summer vacation! I'm getting kinda anxious and jumpy because i am sick of school. Too bad I have to come back in about three weeks. Ha ha. What a cruel joke that is. At least I get to jetset somewhere far far away. I even got a flight bag to make my traveling much easier. And hey... i have a bit of a bag fetish. (i got the navy. i already have a red Dickies messenger bag.)

For a long time, whenever something was difficult in my life, I would always say "Everything is going to be ok." You know, hard classes, family trama, etc. But when all this happened... I couldn't say it. Just thinking the words made me feel unstable even though they are my stablizer words. I couldn't say it because I wasn't sure if everything would be okay. But....

*deep breaths*

Everything is going to be okay.

... at least i think so ....
facetious denise said at 10:44 AM

Now Playing: SES . I'm Your Girl

Ahh... this Kpop song brings me back to my HS days with crazy girl Theresa. She was the one who introduced this song to me. Actuallly Kpop in general. Old memories.

okay... enough of that...

Now Playing: Rob D. Clubbed to Death (Matrix SDTK)

I'm telling you weird things are happening. Last night, I talked to my dad until 3am. It's a very really rare occurence for me to do that, well now it is. Before i used to talk to him all the time but now we just don't. So when he come in and starts talking to me, i don't know what to do. I'm pretty open to talk to a lot of people, i don't like to be closed off. It felt good to talk to my dad again.
facetious denise said at 1:51 PM

Now Playing: Dido . No Angel

It's an amazing shock to me how one of my favorite people in the media spotlight could just... die. If you don't know who i'm talking about, R&B singer Aaliyah died yesterday. When I heard about it this morning, i was sure my sister was bullshitting me. Apparently not, if it make the front section of the newspaper. It's a Buddy Holly/ Richie Valens type deal... and she was only 22 too.

Now Playing: Gabrielle . Out of Reach

principessa: I finally saw The Princess Diaries. I don't know what people are so excited about. I didn't think it was as good as everyone said it was. Frankly, i thought the book was much better. (yes, i am that kind of dork where i will go out and read the book before or after watching the movie.)

I watched the Madonna tour on HBO today and my dad came in midway and watched the rest with me. At first, I swear he was going to pee his pants when he saw all the stuff she was doing/singing. In a segment of her show, she had the anime Perfect Blue on. If you have watched the anime already then you can guess what was on the screen. (yeah. not good stuff.) So my dad had this weird look on his face until the end where he was like "when this comes on again, we should tape it." and then he started comparing it to cantopop stars. My mom joined us at the very end when she was singing "Music" and then when the credits started rolling... my mom got up and started dancing. She's so cute.

Now Playing: Moby . Porcelain

i wonder if you did what my card told you to do for your birthday mr chan.
btw: it was Theseus and i put down the right answer. eccellentissimo!

Now Playing: Mariah Carey . Breakdown

Non mi ama piu. Forse dovremmo smettere.. Ti voglio bene. Proprio uno stronzo. Minchione. Assolutamente incredibile.
facetious denise said at 11:42 PM

Now Playing: Coldplay . Yellow

My lord. for the life of me i can't remember who killed the minotaur in the labyrinth. Was it Perseus or was it Theseus? I can't get the damn names straight.I'm not really caring about this final since the proffesor only takes the best 3 oout of four exams... including the final (this is #4). Since i already have an A/A- in the class, i didn't really study for this one. C'est la vie.

I have a lot of stuff to do before i go off to california. I have to go to the bank and deposit some money into my checking account. Then I have to write a check from my checking account to go pay off some credit card bills. Then, since my car is getting kinda up there in the miles, i have to go and get an oil change before whatever happens when you don't get an oil change. (i imagine that it couldn't be good.) Ahh... stupid mindless tasks that are essential to do.
facetious denise said at 11:17 AM

Now Playing: Radiohead. Optimistic

I notice that my days here are getting stranger and stranger. Yesterday, I went over to a friends house and we ended up getting into deep subjects. Do you ever get into that situation where you are talking and talking about things that are bugging you and suddenly you become a philosopher? That's what happened last night. I really needed to talk to somebody and I got to. Hurrah for me. Some light has been shed.

Hmm... i noticed that Anson in an add on in his journal for the first August entry. Interesting it should appear now and not when he actually wrote it. Slightly disturbing.

Today is my last day of classes for summer session. I have a classics final today and two more finals (statistics and CIS) next week on tuesday. I don't mind that i have finals next week but really... must i wait 8 hours (9:30am to 5:30pm) between those two finals? I have to get up at six to make it to the 7:30am CIS final. Definite poo but i must do what i gotta do. Wish me tremendous luck!
facetious denise said at 10:05 AM