Thanks for stopping by my wedding journal. Over the next few weeks and months, I will be sharing with you my thoughts, feelings, dreams and ideas about my upcoming wedding.

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I wanted to write about so many things. About my nephew's bris and how Scott and I were so honored to be Dylan's g-dparent's and bring him down the stairs to the rabbi. About our new house and how things are going. About how Kegs is adjusting and loves the new place. About me not feeling well- having allergic something or other in my eyes making the all puffy and gross. About going to the Dr. every other day for a different reason. About being annoyed with all the moving people (they ruined our couches and walls and lost a dresser and a picture) and with the furniture people (they still don't have the right table we ordered) or the cable people ("we promise we will call you one hour before we are at your house so you can leave work and meet us there" and then they call from my house pissed that they are waiting for me) About the wedding and all the beautiful shower invitations we are receiving and being at Stacy's beautiful shower. There's so much I wanted to write about, but at this point it doesn't matter anymore.

Its just so hard to think about anything other than what went on yesterday and how our world is going to change. I was awoken yesterday morning by Stacy's phone call around 8:30am telling me about the World Trade Center. I immediately ran downstairs to turn on the TV (Scotty's working on something with our TV so I couldn't watch in bed, but that's besides the point). So I stayed on the phone with her as I turned on the TV and then immediately called Scott to see if he had heard about this. I figured he hadn't since he didn't call and wake me.

I stood there stunned, I couldn't sit as I went back and forth talking to both of them and then to my parents, in disbelief. I started crying as I watched this all unfolding. I felt like I was in a movie. In the middle of everything, Kegs started crying, as she had to go o-u-t, so I took her out back. I could see the sky so peaceful it was eerie due to the lack of planes. Again I felt like I was in a movie, the scene unfolding as 'girl takes dog out to poo, bomb hits right in front of her.' It was really scary.

I only went into work for a little while to pick some things up, I knew the phone wouldn't be ringing so I didn't stay. Other than a Dr. appt., I did nothing but sit in front of the TV, call Scott, Stacy, a few friends and my parents and cry. Last night we went by Sheryl's for a while and outside of her house, on a busy street there was a guy just standing there holding a flag up high. I cried.

This morning I woke up, scared to turn on the radio and hear if anything else had happened. Only good news, they had rescued some of the people out of the rubble. Including the guy who called his sister from his cell phone. I saw flags flying at half mast and the sky clear again, more tears. I keep hearing stories from people about how they know someone in it, or someone who just missed their flight or someone who would've been there, if only...

There's just so much to handle and I don't even know anyone directly. I can not imagine being connected anymore to this. My heart goes out to anyone who is involved. I started looking at the list today of people on the airplanes and I just sit and cry. I don't even know the people and if I think anymore about it it will make me crazy, thinking about all the people in their lives that have been touched. My friend called this morning crying telling me about a young girl who is engaged and her fiancee is still missing. He was on the 100+ floor of the trade center and she will not believe that he is dead. They were going to be married on December 1st. I cry every time I think about this.

I am so happy to have my family and my friends and my Scotty all safe and sound at home. I hope you are all in touch with the ones you love and care about. If not, I am thinking about you.
posted by Dawn XXXXX 5:14 PM

Friday, September 07, 2001

I still can't believe how bad I've been at writing. Life has just been crazy lately, even at work, so I haven't had time to write.

The house is coming along well, we are all out of boxes and are now working on arranging things. Tonight we hung up this awesome mirror in the dining room that looks really cool. We've hung up some pictures of Scott's in the office, and are working on some other pictures for the guest bedroom.

We went to my mom's tonight to pick up some of our gifts from the last shower. It was exciting to try and figure out where we wanted to put all of the pretty things. Although I like doing that, I also find it pretty challenging figuring where everything goes, what colors I need to use, etc. I truly do no know how people build houses and design from ground up. That would be way to overwhelming to me. I give lots of credit to people who can do that. It would be a nightmare for me.

The only thing we have left to do is tackle the closet. I am dreading it, but this weekend it will have to be done. Since Sunday I have Stacy's shower and we have Dylan's bris, I think it's going to be Saturday.

Tonight we went shopping for our ketubah, the jewish marriage contract. We had fun being there, feeling all jewish, since we aren't very religious. We picked out a very simple, yet pretty ketubah, that the lady has to make sure she can still get for us. She said she'd get back to me soon. Unfortunately we didn't have time to go ring shopping :( so maybe Saturday we will do that as well. I can't wait for that!

I stopped by my brother's house today to see Dylan. He is so cute. He had just finished drinking his bottle and we were waiting for him to burp forever. He couldn't get one out, and instead ended up with hiccups. Poor thing, his whole body would shake with each hiccup. I got to hold him for a little while and then played with his brothers for a little while too. It's nice when your brother is the boss and you can take some time out of your day to go and visit HIS kids.
posted by Dawn XXXXX 1:18 AM

Monday, September 03, 2001

Dylan Jett.. that is the name of our new nephew! He was born Sunday morning at 8:18am. A healthy gorgeous baby boy. My sister in law starting having contractions last night and promised she would call us when she went to the hospital. About 2am she went, but didn't call, not wanting to wake us. Little did she know we were still up unpacking. Yes, we've had a total of 12 hours sleep in the last three nights. Who even knows about the days before that, but that's about as far back as I can remember.

We got up after the early morning wake up call, stopped at Dunkin Donuts for some bagels and headed on over to the hospital. We couldn't see the proud mama and papa right away so they showed us to the nursery so we could see the babies. I knew immediately which one Dylan was. I picked him out, and I was right.

Everyone in the family is doing well, especially Dylan's two proud big brothers. They are just so excited to have a new brother, and to have mommy back to 'normal.' The cutest thing of the day was when my little nephews wanted my mom to read the card that they wrote for their new baby to him. My mom read a line and then they repeated the line to the baby. It was THE most precious thing I've ever seen. It was the cutest card saying that they love him and basically giving him a run down of how his day will be (eating, playing, pooping, etc.) from the eyes of a 4 and 3 year old. Needless to say, I videotaped it and was crying throughout it.

The bris for the baby will be next Sunday. This is a good and bad thing all at the same time. It's good because now Scotty will be able to be there and he doesn't have to ask his al;fkjslfkjsd boss if he can have time off for the bris. The bad part is that it is Stacy's first (out of only 2) showers. I'm her maid of honor and best friend, and I want and have to be there. My sister in law is trying to get in touch with the rabbi to find out when on Sunday he is available. She is going to try and plan it any time other than between 12-3, but she can only request. It depends on the rabbi's availability. The bris has to be Sunday, so it all depends on his schedule.

Whatever happens happens, I'll have to be at both either way. Somehow I'll figure out a good plan so I can spend quality time at both. They are both so important to me, doesn't it just figure it would happen on that day? But it could be worse, it could've been one of my showers. oy vay.

Anyway, unpacking is finally getting done around here. We are making some good progress. We are just totally exhausted and drained of all energy. But we're doing it. We want this all done by Tuesday when we have to go back to work. The hardest part right now is getting used to everything. A new shower, new bed, and everything put away in unfamiliar places. When we have to leave to go somewhere it takes us 20 minutes to get out of the house because we can't find anything we need. We turn in circles looking around, feeling a little lost. But we're getting there. We just need to make a new routine and we'll get used to it soon enough. We love it here, but just can't wait for it to really feel like home.

For the first time, we are doing loads of laundry in our new home! How happy are we :)
posted by Dawn XXXXX 2:12 AM

Saturday, September 01, 2001

I can't believe this day is finally coming to an end. It's about 2am now and I am finally winding down. This week has been crazy over here, between packing and cleaning and running to the new house to meet furniture delivery people, cleaning people, etc., I've been runnning around nutty.

But it's all over. Finally. Now we are in our brand new house with tons of boxes. Lots of unpacking to do and rearranging once we get everything out of their boxes. Our new furniture looks great, it's so exciting getting new things. We have a brand new HUGE bed that we literally have to climb into. We have new couches that we have to keep Kegs off of (ya right) a brand new desk that is so nice that I am sitting at right now typing away.

It's all overwhelming, to say the least, but we are very happy in our new place. Poor Kegs is a little confused and keeps crying- but we're doing ok. I know us, we'll keep working until we are done- and we have an extra day because of the holiday, so I know we'll be settled soon.

I'm off to help my honey, we'll be back soon, promise :)
posted by Dawn XXXXX 2:13 AM

Thursday, August 23, 2001

99 days today...99 days! I can't believe we are in the single digits already, it's amazing how time flies when you are so busy! Wow!

So I guess I should back up a bit. I haven't been writing because on top of the craziness of packing and everything, I really haven't been feeling well. I don't know if I'm getting a bad cold or its just my allergies. But lately I've been feeling horrible. My throat hurts, my head hurts, I keep coughing, but its like a cold that hasn't fully come out yet. That's why I think it may be my allergies. With all the dust floating around from packing and the rain in the apartment, I wouldn't be surprised at all if that's what is making feel so yucky.

Anyway, back to the shower. I was woken up at about 6am by the rain in our apt. I was NOT happy. at all. But around 7am I finally fell back asleep for a couple of hours before I had to wake up and get ready. I took a little longer than usual (which I always seem to do because I plan on needing less time as to sleep longer, but always end up needing more time. I know this about myself, but still don't stop doing it.) Anyway, I made it out the door only 5 minutes late, which was fine because we planned on getting to the shower early anyway.

I kissed my love goodbye making sure he was awake as I left and went and picked up my mom. I got to the restaurant and Stacy was there waiting for me. Good girl- she's always early. The hostessess (my aunts) were there early and the room looked so pretty. They had ballooons on the tables, as well as these cute little shoes for the placecards. Everyone starting coming right at noon.

It was great seeing everyone come in, knowing they were there for me, I was the bride. I sat back for a second and took it all in, remember the countless times I've been to showers or weddings or anything where there was a bride and wondered, when it would be my time. I would sometimes get upset thinking about it, or I should say a lot of times I would get upset. I knew I would have my time, I knew my prince was out there. I was just so anxious to find him. And I finally did. It's finally my time. Our time.

And I couldn't be happier. It was great having my family as well as Scott's family there with us to celebrate. The time really flew by and unfortunately I didn't get to spend to much time with anyone. It was all quick conversations and running from person to person. That's the only bad part. I wish it we had a little longer to spend with the guests so we could actually talk to them for more than 2 minutes. But oh well, I guess this is just how it is.

I couldn't wait for Scotty to get there. I had butterflies in my stomach waiting for him. It was really cute. Everytime I heard a door open (it was usually the bathroom door) I would look to see if it was my honey making his entrance. Unfortunately, I missed it, I was in the bathroom, freshening up when he walked in. I was bummed! But when I got out of the bathroom, there he was, in the room mingling with my family. He was so good, going from table to table talking to everyone.

It was finally time to open our gifts. Being that it was our first time, we started out with a little struggle getting the whole process down. Stacy handing us the gift, me reading the card, Scott opening the gift, me pulling out the gift, Philiss taking pictures, my sister in law writing down what we got, and then handing over the gift to Sheryl to repack, then remembering to smile for Fran taking video. :) But after a while we got the whole process down and believe we are now pros.

We got amazing gifts. Granted they were what we registered for, but I got so many of the things that I reallly wanted. Not the ones we registered for because we had to. Our families really came through! I registered for quite a few things with hearts on them, I fall for anything with hearts. But these are mostly things that don't necessarily match, they just happen to have hearts. example: a heart serving platter, a crystal heart dish, silver heart napkin holders, etc. It ends up that almost every gift given to us at the shower had some type of heart on it. It was kinda embarrassing. But I'm not that queer, I'm not going to have my house as one big heart or use it all together at once. It just happens that for this shower, the guests seem to pick out most of the heart stuff. I got teased a little, but I don't care, I love the stuff. I seriously don't think there's one heart thing left on my registry, it was all bought for this shower. Maybe I should shop around again.

So our first shower is already over, 1 down 5 to go. Pretty crazy. We had a great time, I wasn't nervous at all. I did get a little hot with all the pressure of opening the gifts and all, but I think we did a great job.

Tomorrow is the big day~ we close on our very first house together. We are pretty excited but I don't think it will hit us until we sign that big check over to the title company tomorrow and they hand us our keys and garage clickers! After signing our lives away we shall go to the house for the walkthrough. After that the painter is coming to check out the house. Then we go back to work for a few hours and probably back to the house after that. Oh boy. Home owners. The craziness continues...

99days :)
posted by Dawn XXXXX 10:24 PM

Tuesday, August 21, 2001

I am way to tired to write right now, my allergies are driving me nuts due to more rain in our bedroom this weekend, and it's making me exhausted.

But I must say that our shower was awesome. It was just beautiful and we got amazing gifts. Don't let Scott fool you, he had fun too, and loves the gifts. He's just a guy, not wanting to admit he likes this stuff!

Speaking of gifts, (a segue for you honey :) Scotty got me such an original gift for the shower. We are now the proud owners of this site. Yup, nothing there yet, but eventually it will be quite an amazing site, for us. I thought it was such a creative, original and awesome idea- leave it to my Scotty! See my family does not know about Scott's journal, therefore, they do not know of mine. This way we can have a site that anyone can see (my family included) just for us.

Forever. And don't worry, he's not backing out. Notice he's still counting down the days until the wedding, he's excited, again, don't let him fool ya. :)

More details on the shower and tux shopping tomorrow!
posted by Dawn XXXXX 12:30 AM

Sunday, August 19, 2001

We had a great day today at the comic con. Scotty was so happy seeing all the artists and people he likes in his comic world. It's a cool experience, especially for someone who isn't into all that stuff, to see so many people that are. I got to see some famous people, though we found out later that my favorite, Judd, from The Real World, was there and we missed him. Oh well. There's always next year. It was a great way to keep my mind off of tomorrow also.

So, on to tomorrow, my first shower. I'm excited, I'm a little nervous, but I feel ok. I just can't wait for Scott to come there and then all my nerves will be calmed. I'm just not used to being the center of attention, and never have I claimed that I like it either. But we shall see how it goes tomorrow. I know it will be fun ;)

Today I had to drop my car off to my mom at the hair salon she was at with my aunt. They were getting the full beauty treatment for the shower. I walked in (in my jeans, gym shoes and baseball hat- dressed for the con) and my mom smiles and says, 'there's my beautiful bride.' It was so cute, I felt like I was in a movie for a second. Like it was the day before the wedding and here I was all calm and relaxed, dressed all casual and cute coming to the salon to get my mom. The next view would be later that night at the dinner and then to the wedding. All going back to 'that day before the wedding'. Unfortunately we still have like 104 days to wait, but I should only be so calm that day.

Anyway, I just took my benadryl so I shall get pretty sleepy and not lay in bed and think all night- as to not get any sleep before my big day tomorrow. I'm known for that, so I thought about it ahead of time and just popped my sleep savior. I'm off to dreamland :)
posted by Dawn XXXXX 12:42 AM