current desktop:
[the picture is my own, courtesy of some very excellent Fujifilm 800, a Vivitar telephoto lens, a Canon AE-1, some sunlight, and a Chevy. And Superstore.]
- Nyx @ 1:44:31 AM [link]
9.17.2001
don't attempt to access this page with NS 4.7.
I mean it.
Get rid of that fucking pathetic browser.
Download NS 6.x, or better yet, MSIE 5.x.
"Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!"
- Nyx @ 12:44:44 AM [link]
my life?
it's 12:30 am. I got home from work at 11:30, because my ride dropped someone else - who lives 5 miles out on a DIRTY dirt road - off first. I upset my parent.
before that, I worked an 8 hour shift with people I don't really like. I had my first [and happily, last] altercation with one of the most dishwater people I've ever known; dishwater, like the water that comes off soup bowls when you rinse them out and there's still half a centimeter left in the bottom. Murky, smelly, chunky dishwater that makes your gorge rise at the thought of pulling the drain plug.
I served many people who didn't give a fuck, and a couple who did.
Now I'm home and online for an hour before I go feed a snake and clean two snake cages. I don't really want to do this at 1 am, but I've been putting it off for days - it seems that when it's said here, it's really said.
I handle my boa every day, usually in the morning when we're both awake. My room - and the whole house - is rainforest hot, thanks to her; she needs temperatures above 80°F, and I had to turn up the heat correspondingly.
I left my room window open to chill it down, though. It was 82°F when I left.
Eingana is a sweet animal - we're alike...very strong-willed, huffy, but basically we just want to sit in a warm spot and have a think.
Zerah is pissy lately.
Philip ate 2/3 of a pinky the other day.
Palm Desktop isn't worth shit.
I've trained myself not to notice how alone I am, but every once in a while, it'll punch me in the gut as a reminder.
I really don't want to go clean out snake cages.
think I could get away with just a feeding tonight?
I'm so tired. Very tired. And my next day off is Wednesday - I don't get two days off this week.
I have more money than I thought I did in my bank account, but less than I'd like.
It took 41 hours of work to purchase my boa, not counting her enclosure or manual.
the universe is thinking about me right now.
And you? You I haven't seen.
- Nyx @ 12:41:38 AM [link]
I had to actually check myself there for a second to make sure the world was still the same; I had to make sure that I wasn't being too hardass serious about this whole matter, that what I'm writing is relevant and true and interesting [to the audience of one].
In other words, I had to make sure that I wasn't painting grey over red - I'm not. It's still grey, even with fuschia lipstick on.
- Nyx @ 12:31:23 AM [link]
9.16.2001
"Wait, that's impossib- oh, never mind."
- it's the FIRST digit of any number that determines rank based on value.
- Nyx @ 12:55:52 PM [link]
I haven't really posted anything on here about how I feel towards the whole matter. Why bother? Viva Hate has done a much better job of it. [I agree with nearly all they've said, which is a first for me - online or off.]
I have, however, posted my thoughts on a couple of forums - the worst thing I was called was a traitor to Canada.
You may understand if my reptile brain wants someone like that to be airlifted into the mountains of Afghanistan with a plastic knife and spork.
My human brain, however - that is to say, the one that isn't r-complex and can actually think and rationalize its actions...and is apparently inactive in many, many people right now...knows that this - I'm at a loss for a word, but I can think of a couple of phrases...all right, this...reactionary is only reacting to what he knows, what he's been taught, and what he lives. Not his fault that he knows no other way.
Me? I know no other way of reacting to something except by thinking about it [unless "it" happens to be a snake striking at me, in which case, instinct feebly kicks in]. A great handicap, to be sure.
What do I think?
- I think the US has a right to be angry.
- I think the US has an obligation not to be stupid.
- I think the latter two are being confused,
- and I think that I'm not overly optimistic about what's going to happen in the next two weeks.
And just so it's admitted - I can't join the army. They wouldn't accept me if I tried [I did try to join the reserves a while back...yes, I was too young, but I didn't know that. =)] - I have epilepsy. And fortunately, my mother won't be pulled back either. [she used to be in the military, along with three of my aunts and three of my uncles]
If I had to, I'd fight in her place.
Am I willing to die for this country, that country, and my personal security when moving through both? Sure. Am I willing to die in the upcoming conflict? Not unless I'm part of a specially trained team that's going to be dropped into the Taliban's centre of power - with a couple of high-yield explosives and a quick getaway car.
I am not willing to be a foot soldier to the irrational.
Put that in your gun barrel and smoke it.
- Nyx @ 12:33:28 PM [link]
9.15.2001
Netscape 6 renders pages faster than anything I've ever seen before.
it breaks a lot of them, but damn if it doesn't render like...like a temper tantrum on low fuel. and now I have to keep writing, because the post/publish button is way over there -> and I can't see it unless I write to the end of the line.
- Nyx @ 11:50:34 AM [link]
of course, missing the second quotation mark in a URL doesn't help either.
got a webcam yesterday.
sometimes it's terrifying - well, these days it's terrifying - to realize how much I love my family members - human and non human alike. Perhaps I should start practicing a policy of non-interference?
- Nyx @ 11:48:50 AM [link]
that must be in the second half of the book. Interestingly enough, the past few days of my life have been rather eventful. Do the blogger staff know how badly blogger's edit screen breaks in NS 6?
- Nyx @ 11:45:21 AM [link]
9.13.2001
coming from the search for "CSIS" - Google's throw on the matter...[description of CSIS's site itself]
"CSIS is Canada's main spy agency. Includes information on CSIS's mandate, organization, history..."
well, christ, you just gave it away to all those terrorists who don't know what "covert" means.
seriously, that looks a little strange.
- Nyx @ 11:15:02 AM [link]
I sincerely hope I took that in a completely wrong way.
- Nyx @ 11:02:21 AM [link]
thank you from the LEAST of Your needs, desires, and wishes.
- Nyx @ 10:53:14 AM [link]
one species, one creation - one mind.
and the worst part is that once you're here, you can never completely fight it off.
- Nyx @ 2:09:40 AM [link]
after the third [fourth?] shock, I sat down.
no, I curled up.
and I stared at the wall for a while.
and then I uncurled, went out to the living room, turned up the iMac, and got to work.
now I'm sitting in an apartment lit only by the iMac's screen, an episode of LFN ["Hard Landing"], and about twenty candles burning, brightly...not as brightly as North American eyes are used to, but they light the apartment enough to see by, enough to feel enclosed by.
I put on the a little dish of water held up over a tealight, with a personal blend of essential oils in it.
I watched a couple of TV shows I could laugh at before turning on my LFN tapes.
I seem to be waiting for something, but none of us are sure what.
I am, however, dreading sleep tonight.
it seems to be bringing more monsters than usual.
- Nyx @ 2:08:02 AM [link]
9.12.2001
people are taking down their websites in order to signify mourning.
taking down an act of creation to indicate you're sad seems a little...
a little...
never mind.
- Nyx @ 10:37:08 PM [link]
I'm tired.
I'm tired of watching the same atrocity played out in minute detail, over and over again.
I'm tired of hearing everyone's opinions and defending mine; tired of listening to racist assholes or sincerely misguided militant freaks.
I'm tired of guarding myself.
I'm tired of watching people who really don't seem to give a fuck about this or anything else that doesn't directly fall on their motherfucking heads.
I'm tired of being alone, of dealing with the fact that my entire hemisphere could be at war in a couple of weeks. [a short war, perhaps? no such motherfucker.]
I'm really tired of worrying about the person closest to me, knowing how much we both need support and family right now - in order to process this whole thing.
I'm tired of worrying about myself and then feeling guilty for it - you want a snake? hah! in a couple of months, they'll be rationing sugar again...
most of all, I'm deeply, completely tired by the test scenarios running through my mind.
I want this to be over already.
I've never felt this way before.
but like I said, I'm tired.
and now I feel guilty again.
- Nyx @ 10:34:33 PM [link]
would like to add this permanently, but for now:
- Nyx @ 6:34:17 PM [link]
there's a Calvin and Hobbes comic I keep thinking about, one of the early ones; the premise is that he loses Hobbes at one point, due to a big dog that knocks Calvin down and steals Hobbes.
I keep thinking of this scene.
it'll break the layout. as you can see, I resized it - oh, that image is still 600x191, though. it's not as if it's a 200k jpg that I sized down to a thumbnail. [that's ok.] apologies to bill watterson, who owns that completely and totally.
- Nyx @ 12:38:52 AM [link]
9.11.2001
went to work today.
had to come home.
had an extreme migraine.
came home and threw up for a while.
and as my mother said, when I spoke to her tonight:
"I wonder what people in that building would give for five minutes of your migraine?"
- Nyx @ 10:57:39 PM [link]
"I don't see how we can allow the Taliban to survive, in any case."
- Nyx @ 2:13:34 PM [link]
yes, you are wrong. As follows, from fas.org:
DEFCON 5 Normal peacetime readiness
DEFCON 4 Normal, increased intelligence and strengthened security measures
DEFCON 3 Increase in force readiness above normal readiness
DEFCON 2 Further Increase in force readiness, but less than maximum readiness
DEFCON 1 Maximum force readiness.
- Nyx @ 1:00:39 PM [link]
"no just cause can be [reached] by acts of terrorism."
terrorism. world trade center.
how dare you.
and I thought the rest of this would be fine.
- Nyx @ 12:37:09 PM [link]
God.
oh my God.
- Nyx @ 10:19:48 AM [link]
I found it particularly funny when I developed a case of belly pain, nausea, vomiting, and headache the night after I asked the universe to farathoom off somewhere.
just goes to show you...
- Nyx @ 12:35:49 AM [link]
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