agatha frye's pies |
monday, september 17
I just found a book at the library called, "Is Anyone Taking Notice?", by Donald McCullin. It is predominantly images of war and poverty, and all of them are just gut wrenchingly tragic. There is poetry that runs through the book alongside the images, and this phrase caught my eye with respect to the current world situation: "The trouble is here we are entering our eighth war and is anyone taking any notice? Is Anyone Taking Any Notice? *Mankind's sole salvation lies in everyone making everything his business." *Alexander Solzhenitsyn
this is what i drank this morning: liver flush, designed by michele to torture kelsey in a blender, combine: one whole grapefruit, peeled and chunked one tablespoon flax oil juice from half a lemon one clove garlic, chopped big chunk of ginger, chopped drink it. follow it with polari-tea. i can't remember what that's supposed to do, but whatever. i can feel the garlic oozing its way out of every pore in my body. ick. well, our candle ceremony on friday night was certainly interesting. we were joined on our porch by the three kids that live kitty corner from us ("we live in a tent!", they told me when i first asked them where they lived...), and their methhead parental figures/parents/boyfriends/girlfriends. one guy wouldn't shut up. he kept saying stupid things like, "wow, girls are usually afraid to get tattoos that big!" after the third time i glared at him, he got the idea and shut up. amazingly, the kids were absolutely silent. it was the adults that couldn't stand it. when we finished, the kids asked to do it again, but for longer. we did it again. immediately afterwards, the same stupid guy started talking about how we were going to "blow those countries off of the map." (go, team!) then, they left. which didn't bother me, i must say. we could stand to learn from the kids these days. last night, cleo began an elaborate drawing of the planes flying into the pentagon and world trade center. it gave me a chill. sunday, september 16
This post is all about pilfering, because I simply don't have the words to say how I feel. With that in mind: This was pilfered from Joe... and these photos were just a few of the moving photos from this site. The cover of our local paper today says in big letters, "WE ARE AT WAR" i can't seem to think about groups any greater than one these days. borders? arbitrary dividing lines. bottom line for me: innocent individuals, people just like you and i who happen to be born within arbitrary borders, are going to die. it just isn't right. thursday, september 13
tomorrow: 1. have a minute of silence at 12:30 pm. 2. go outside and light a candle at 7pm. 3. breathe deep. 4. call somebody you love. i am going to make some black armbands to pass out, if anyone is interested in one, email me. they will say "kindness" on them. in my opinion, it's very important for our nation to act with kindness, compassion, and unity in this difficult time. in other news, yesterday morning we awoke to find a tiny fruit bat hanging upside down in the precise epicenter of our living room. dave put batty in a glass and took it outside, whereupon batty paused for a groggy moment, then stomped on down the porch ledge and flew away. i was really happy for the fruit bat. cleo has been weepy and obstinate the past couple of days. we received a letter from the principal of her school that said, "...Catastrophic events such as this are likely to stir up unrelated fears or unpleasant memories that don't seem to have anything to do with the event that has just occurred. You may find that your child is extra boisterous, defiant, teary, or full of small complaints that don't seem to have any foundation. These are all signs of stress. If you have concerns about how your child(ren) is reacting to the current events, please don't hesitate to let us know. Be a listener, provide reassurance of their safety and your ability to keep them safe. Minimize TV time if possible." i thought that sounded like good advice. tonight, for example, cleo threw an absolute fit when asked to clean her room. it was really bizarre and unlike her. in other, other news, i am on this new diet to move my stagnant energy and dry up the dampness in my liver, or something like that, according to the nutritional counselor i went to. included in the long long list of things i can't eat for awhile are: soy products (no soy sauce! no tofu! agggh!), wheat, rice (she said, "not very much rice..."), sugar, potatoes, dairy products, coffee (i told her no way in hell and she told me to cut down drastically), fruits except for lemons, limes, grapefruits, and berries, nuts except for soaked and then roasted almonds. yep. i'm tellin ya. the 1.75 things i can eat are: meat (again, told her no way in hell, more on this further down), whole grains such as quinoa, amaranth, rye, oats, ginger, cabbage, greens greens greens, broccoli, cauliflower, kim chee, sauerkraut, garlic (i stink real bad this week), veggies, seaweed, beans, cranberry juice (unsweetened, it tastes like absolute ass). I have done surprisingly well so far, although i cheated a little last night and ate some tofu and some rice noodles at a Thai restaurant. mostly, i picked the tofu out. in the morning i have one cup of coffee with a little bit of cream and a little bit of honey or rapidura, and i eat a bowl of oatmeal. when i get to work, i have a big cup of yerba matte, which is this tea that sort of gives you a little lift, although it kind of tastes like dirt and twigs. then i drink lots of water all day. i have actually brought my lunch every day this week. here's the absolute weirdest part, though. she worked me long and hard on the meat thing. she was a vegetarian for seventeen years, and now she eats meat. she said she felt instantly better after eating meat. i told her no. i told her i couldn't. she said, "how about chicken and fish?" i said that chickens walked around and made noises and had wings and feet. she said, "how about fish?" i said i really didn't think i could do it. i went home and mulled it over for a couple of days. monday, i made myself a tunafish sandwich. and ate it. and it was really good. i have thus far consumed three tunafish sandwiches this week on spelt bread with fake mayonnaise that is not soy based. this means that i am no longer a vegetarian, after fifteen years. weird. i am going to stick with the fish thing, although i really don't know if i could eat a big slab of fish and i know i couldn't eat shellfish. tuna, though, i can deal with that. you know what? i feel healthier already, and it's only been a week. in other, other, other news, i had a job interview- on tuesday, no less. could there possibly be a worse day for an interview? anyhow, it went pretty well, and then i had to take this skills test. the test involved typing the alphabet consecutively, and then typing about fifty groups of four numbers each on ten key. i couldn't look at my hands or the computer screen, and i couldn't correct my mistakes. it was really hard. anyhow, i didn't think i passed, but i called today and they told me that i did. they said that they have five more interviews for this job, and then they will let me know. it is going to be awhile. honestly, i don't really care if i get the job or not, although i probably should. it's more money and more room for advancement, but no more interesting than what i am doing now. here's the job description- if you figure out what it means, let me know. blah, blah, blah. over and out. wednesday, september 12
tuesday, september 11
 (thanks for this amazing picture, Mark -glad you're okay) Oddly, last night I was discussing the concepts of religion and war with Cleo. She was asking if there would ever be a war in the United States between the Jews and the Christians. In response to her strange question, I responded dismissively, "Nothing like that would ever happen in our country." Now I feel like a presumptuous fool. sunday, september 9
So many things to talk about! Let's see... I played hookie on part of thursday and friday, and took off to Portland for a mini personal vacation. In the early hours of thursday, I was at work. By the afternoon, however, I was on a Greyhound sitting next to a stinky drunk guy in a cowboy hat with a grizzled handlebar moustache (of course) who kept hitting me in the arm to make his point known. I was in Portland by 2 p.m. I wandered down the street about twelve blocks and miraculously found the hostel without getting lost. I checked in for the night, and then wandered around the area for the afternoon. I was regretful that I had chosen clogs as my footwear, but I made out okay. I ate at a really grubbin falafel hut, had myself some coffee, finished my book, and headed back to the hostel to soak my aching feet for a bit. In the evening, I headed down to the IPRC, which is a cooperative space dedicated to small press publishing efforts, for a bookbinding class. The class was fabulous, the girl that taught it had a lot of experience and taught me lots of tips and tricks. Plus, I learned to make three cool books and met nice people, to boot. After the class, I went to Powell's and bought two books for myself, two books for Cleo, and a strange little wind up bug robot thing for Dave. I had a lot of trouble sleeping that night, not only because I wasn't in my bed with my big heavy guy next to me, but also because I was really itchy and also because this incredibly loud girl came in at about 3 a.m. and rustled what seemed to be an endless quantity of plastic bags for about a half hour. At 4 a.m, I got up and took my cell phone into the bathroom to call in sick again. I felt so naughty that I promptly fell asleep. I awoke the next morning at 9:30 (!), called my work to make sure they had gotten the message, took a shower to quell my itchiness, and then went to have breakfast at this good little diner with cool cups and a Viewmaster at every table. After breakfast, I went back to the hostel to gather my shit up and do a chore before I checked out. After that, I went to Reading Frenzy, this great little zine store with lots of art and stuff to read and goofy Sanrio stuff and little rubber dolls with penises. I met a girl from the internet for lunch.(she was sweet like honey). I rode the Portland trolley thing that looks like a big space pod combined with a subway, but above ground and running on tracks. I bought two new skirts on sale at C.P. Shades, and talked to the girl that worked there who was from England but had lived in Olympia in the not so distant past. I read part of my new book at Coffee People where I had this delicious beverage called a velvet hammer, which was basically a mocha with Mexican chocolate. Mmmmm. I waited and waited for my friend Anna to come and get me, and she finally did. I went home and crashed out. Remind me to tell you about my new dietary regimen later, I seem to be done for now. thursday, august 30
Oddly enough, it happens to be Michael Jackson's 43rd birthday. Happy birthday Michael, from one freak to another! wednesday, august 29
Because I am feeling morose but obligated to write something in here, I will mention that I made this soup that Sarah gave me the recipe for, and it was farkin good. We ate it tonight with cornbread. Cleo said she didn't like it but ate half a bowl, and Dave said it was hotter than magma, but tasty once cooled. He doesn't understand the concept of blowing on one's food. Anyhow, here you all go: Sarah's Tomatillo Soup 1 tbs olive oil 1 medium yellow onion, diced 10 tomatillos, quartered and sliced 4 cloves garlic, crushed or minced 3 cups corn kernels (canned or frozen) 1 can peas (or one cup frozen peas) 2 15oz cans vegetable broth 8 oz firm tofu, cut into chunks (optional) 1/2 cup fresh cilantro, chopped 1 red bell pepper, diced 3 jalapeno peppers, seeded and diced Directions In a large soup pot, cook onions, garlic, and 8 tomatillos in olive oil for about five minutes over medium-high heat. Add 2 cups of the corn, peas, tofu, 1/4 cup of the cilantro, and 1 1/2 cans of the broth. Bring to a boil. Tranfer to a blender and puree until smooth. Wipe out the pot, and saute the red pepper, jalapenos, and remaining two tomatillos for five minutes in a teaspoon of oil. Pour the puree back in the pot. Then add the remaining 1 cup of corn, 1/4 cup cilantro, and 1/2 can broth. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Simmer on low for 15 minutes. Serve hot or cold. MMMM, good. Also, Cleo updated her blog. sunday, august 26
I have been thinking a lot about becoming a librarian lately, which in turn has been making me think an inordinate amount about my aunt Pippi. Pippi is my grandfather's spinster sister, which makes her my great aunt. I would go so far as to say that when one thinks about the concept of a spinster, one might very well be envisioning my aunt Pippi. She was a high school librarian since the beginning of time, and retired well beyond 65. I always picture her as the type of librarian that all of the high school kids hated. I can envision them cringing when she hobbled towards them, hissing at them to quiet down all the while. I vow if i become a librarian that I will never be one like I suspect that Pippi might have been, although I have no proof of this behavior other than her normal personality outside of her work environment. Pippi also has a half sister who we like to call aunt Izzy, short for Isabel. Pippi is short for Phyllis, for the record. Anyhow, Izzy is just about as polar an opposite to her half sister Pippi as you might be able to imagine. Izzy is as generous as Pippi is stingy, and would give you the shirt off of her back if you were shivering. In fact, Izzy was a nurse for over fifty years, and spent the majority of those years at one hospital. I would love to have been tended by Izzy, if I were in the hospital. She fusses over everyone. Izzy is as kind and loving as Pippi is snippy and judgemental. Pippi has saved her pennies carefully and lives a rather spartan life, while Izzy lives like a pauper and is a total packrat. When Izzy moved out of her apartment and into a nursing home, we catalogued some of the things we found in her house. She had over forty bars of soap. She had about ten umbrellas. She had so many books that they were piled up in the bathtub. I'm sure that Pippi harped on Izzy relentlessly about the state of her house. Regardless of these obvious disparities, Iz and Pip seem to get along pretty well although they do bicker constantly. Every year, Pippi would give us presents for Christmas with the price tags still on them. Not only did she leave the price tags on, but she would make a point of showing us the tags in some strange way. For example, she would buy me a little jewelry trinket and then say, "I left the price tag on there so that you could see that it was real silver!" As kids, we were on to her in a big way for as long as I can recall. She always garnished our gifts with this beautiful old orange ribbon, which I always imagined that she had a giant reel of somewhere in her house. She never did seem to run out of that ribbon. It was pretty amazing, there were six kids in my family and the orange ribbon was on all of our gifts for twenty years. That is at least 240 feet of ribbon. I wonder if I can find that ribbon when she passes on. In contrast, Izzy would give us things like socks and or a bottle of shampoo, but her intent was so much more pure that it made you appreciate the gift that much more. Izzy's gifts would always be wrapped in last year's slightly crumpled wrapping paper, with last year's bows taped on there. When we were mean little kids, we would surreptitiously toss the bows towards Izzy, and then have silent spasms of laughter when she would pick them up and tuck them away in her pockets. I feel horrible when I think about that now. I do remember having a few really nice days with Pippi, where she would take my younger sister Courtney and I to her house in Wethersfield, Connecticut, to have lunch. We would always go to this really great doll store in her town, where they had amazing dolls and dollhouse furniture of all sorts. I could spend hours in that store. She also had a great collection of old children's literature. I remember her bringing books out and showing them to me one at a time, telling me about each book. She really loved her books. She also loves to tell me every chance she gets about the one time she was in Seattle, when she happened upon a luncheonette that had the most delicious homemade large curd cottage cheese in a giant vat. She holds that cottage cheese forever dear in her memory, and always seems to forget that she's told me the story dozens of times. I don't really mind hearing it again, usually. Pippi wasn't all bad, but she did get worse with age. Every year she complains more and more about a wide variety of subjects ranging from the ills of her body to her annoying half sister Izzy to the food that my mother lovingly prepares for the holidays, and then wraps it all up with society and the state of the world at large. She made certain to tell me after Cleo was born that I was officially out of the will because I had a child out of wedlock. Apparently, she still has the clarity of mind to ask every now and then if I ever did get married, and is always very disappointed when she finds out that I am still living in sin. I secretly get a little chuckle out of thinking about what her reaction will be when she discovers that I am thinking about taking up her occupational choice. Woe to the family that doesn't have a strong character such as Pippi within their ranks. She always gives me an interesting mirror to hold up to my life, and view myself as others might view me for a moment. I will miss Pippi when she goes. sunday, august 19
friday, august 17
We were all just simultaneously surprised, confused, and satisfied by the discovery of two strange disneylike cardboard figures in our backyard:   While I was out there, I took some other pictures (Dave took his picture off the page like a big dorkhead) Dead Daisy  Lawnmower  sunday, august 12
Cleo had a juice and yellow crookneck squash stand today and made over 25 bucks. I gaped out the window, amazed, as two and three cars at a time pulled over at our house. She sold out three times, and we had to go get more juice at the little store down the street once. A police car stopped and bought some juice, got on his radio, and within five minutes two more coppers showed up. Earlier on, a policewoman stopped and guzzled down a paper cup of pineapple juice, gave Cleo a dollar, and said, "Keep the change, sweetie!" Another three elderly women from Georgia stopped and bought three squash, they said they were going to bring them home in their suitcases.  People sure are nice in this town.
read read this, too no words work quite right in these situations. well, maybe some could find the right words, but i can't. so i won't. speaking of words, i am curious to get a little feedback about the portion of my website known as dumbass. suffice it to say that it is moving in a direction that i hadn't anticipated, and i'm not sure how i feel about it. i am curious to hear from others about whether dumbass is entertaining to others, or simply annoying. do let me know. thanks. i will now go purchase some linoleum tiles from second used building supply, ten cents each! sunday, august 5
Thanks, Darren!  Dave and I went to a wine tasting last night. A few people started this tradition of having wine tastings with wine that was ten dollars or less per bottle. I must say, I was pleasantly surprised at the quality and variety of the wines. The one I liked the best, oddly enough, was a white wine that was more like champagne. I usually hate white wine and I don't like drinks with bubbles in them. Champagne generally has both of these qualities, and yet this was so light and refreshing that I was astounded. I need to find out what it was so that I can get it again. There was good food to go with each wine, and the desserts were amazing. Gina made flan, which I love when it's made correctly, and Ann made this awesome cheesecake with fresh raspberries on top. I ate more last night than I had the entire previous week. I made this cold salad with udon noodles and green onion and red peppers and ginger and mangoes in it, and it was fairly good. People claimed to love it, but I think they were just being polite. I just decided that I must go immediately and wash the curtains in the living room, which are infused with cat hair. saturday, august 4
I had a disturbing dream last night. Dream: I had gone to the clinic to get a check up. While I was there, they did a pregnancy test. I was in a very early stage of pregnancy, and they told me that I could take the morning after pill if I didn't want to have another child. I took the pill. On the way home, I started to receive phone calls on my cell phone. They were all these evil sounding women, telling me that I was worthless and a murderess and self centered and the like. I began to feel very upset and frantic as the reality of what I had just done. I felt quite certain that there was a network of people who were pro-life and had some sort of connection with one of the workers in the clinic, who had informed them of my decision. I realized that I hadn't fully thought out the morning after pill choice, and began to regret my decision. I approached a crosswalk near my house, and a woman began to pass me on the left, muttering evil things about me. I chased her to her house and cornered her, demanding that she tell me what was going on and how everyone knew what I had done. She ground her lit cigarette out on my arm and walked away. That was it. I think I must be processing some crazy shit during my dream life. No wonder that I feel exhausted when I wake up. sunday, july 29
I planted a blueberry bush today. I hope I did it correctly, apparently they are rather fussy about their growing conditions. I had to create a boglike atmosphere in the middle of my garden by filling the chosen hole with compost, soaking it, plopping the bush in there, and then surrounding the top with wood chips. Hopefully it will be happy with us in our chaotic garden of randomness. I also purchased a lavender plant yesterday, and something called sea holly that had all these funny purple ball shaped flowers on it.  In other unrelated news, the ugly green monster reared its head this week, but I have managed to quiet it and banish it back to its' offal riddled cave. I accomplished this by taking a moment to think about my life, and make a mental list of things that were important and things that weren't. Sometimes, it gets really easy to lose sight of the things that matter. My overall perspective seems to be in a more realistic alignment at this point. Which is a real relief. It probably doesn't hurt any that I got my period this morning as well. Nothing like a little bleeding to drain the rage right out of ya. Anyhow, I have to go print lots of A's on some japanese mulberry paper. Catch ya on the flip side. thursday, july 26
I may have posted this picture before, but this time it is for Rhiannon:  While we're at it, here are some new pictures of Spike:     I seem to have two people on the internet now that think I suck. I wish I could change both of the situations, but I don't know how. On a slightly more positive note, I have been scribbling down books that look interesting as I work, and I've got quite a pile going now. In the next few days, I hope to put the list up for the reading pleasure of anyone who still reads my blatherings. I know! It's exciting! Thanks to Daniela, I have now found a really revolting new website to laugh at. Warning:there are penises and more on there! You may not want to look at this if you are at work, unless you are Merc, in which case go ahead! saturday, july 14
I really feel like this a lot of the time. The difference for me, however, is that I don't even know how to make my lack of words aesthetically pleasing. I need to learn more about this crazy internet stuff. Today, Cleo started asking me a lot of questions about what would happen if Dave and I broke up. She was wondering who would get to "keep" her, and where I would live, and where her dad would live, and who would get to keep the bed. I asked her why she was thinking such morbid thoughts, and she reeled off a long list of friends of ours who have severed relationships with their partners and/or had babies as a predominantly solo performance. She also discussed friends of ours that are in same sex relationships with children. I was amazed by how many nontraditional relationships she rattled off. There had to have been about twenty without a pause. I'm not sure what it all means, but I can tell you one thing: family dynamics are a-changin' these days. We're off to Seattle to see "Cats and Dogs" with Merc, now, and go to Sonia's birthday party. thursday, july 12
sunday, july 8
This makes me laugh. Although I find talk of moms being sexy to be funny and interesting, the first thing that comes to my mind when I read stuff like that is what my friends who don't have kids would think about it. I can imagine Merc hwarfing all over the place when she reads those essays. I recall when I first had Cleo, I placed an ad in the Stranger looking for hip moms to become friends with. I ended up stumbling into this casual mother group that referred to themselves as "The Intuitive Mothering Group." I would hang out with them about once every few weeks and talk about all of the strange things that new moms talk about. I recall this one time, however, that a few of the moms came over when I lived with my old friend Beth. She overheard a conversation that she would never let me forget, whereupon one of the intuitive moms exclaimed with zest, "That's the power we HAVE!" with reference to her breasts and their ability to feed her baby. Beth brought that damn statement up whenever it was possible for months. Now that I think about that group, as the mother of a seven year old, I am a little embarrassed at the whole thing. I don't regret being part of the empowered momma posse, but I can't quite relate to it anymore. I feel comfortable enough with my role as a mom at this point that I don't need a formal support group. I have good mom and dad friends, and good non-mom/dad friends. The funniest part of the whole thing is that most of my friends without kids are really the ones that have stuck around all this time. Thanks- (I love you).
Trucker just got his nails cut. The Petsmart guy said he didn't shriek at all, and merely flinched a little. I guess he knew the guy wouldn't care. Dave got him a heinous knucklebone to assist him in forgetting this traumatic event. It's a fabulous day out today. friday, july 6
I also just found a book called "Desairology- Hairdressing for Decedents". After thinking about it for awhile, I realized it was a book about styling dead people's hair for their funerals. Libraries rule.
I just stumbled across two books here in the library: "Collected papers on Eugenic Sterilization in California" by the Human Betterment Foundation and "Human Sterilization it's Social and Legislative Aspects" by B A Owens-Adair, M.D. Here is an excerpt from the book by Doctor Owens-Adair, who hails from Clatsop County, Oregon: "The subject of sterilization, of which these pages treat, and the study of which has been the life work of the author, is now attracting wide attention and a great deal of earnest thought by all those who are interested in the betterment of the human race. when you think and know to a certainty that two out of every hundred children are born mentally deficient, and know that the law of heredity is the strongest law of nature and that the offspring of those so afflicted will be like the parent and when you take consideration more than half the expense of your criminal courts and nearly the same proportion of your divorce courts together with all the misery and suffering, both to those so afflicted and to all those who are in any way connected with them, it behooves us to ponder well this question and give it our serious consideration." How scary is this shit? This woman was trying to get a bill passed back in the twenties that would have made involuntary sterilization legal in mental homes and prison systems. The whole thing gives me the willies. wednesday, july 4
Day Two: Spike Project After visiting a second time with Cleo, I deemed Spike fit for human consumption. The next day would be the day of "THE WALK." Cut to the next day. I had originally decided that it would be best to walk Spike for the first time without the assistance of my trusty companion Truckeroo. However, Trucker flew into a frenzy when he saw me leaving with a leash and a plastic bag, but without him. He busted open our gate and ran down the block after Cleo and I. Being of weak constitution when it comes to discipline, I went home and got another leash and left again with the child and the dog. We approached the home of Spike, and he was already waiting expectantly for us at the gate. We saddled the monster dog up and got ready to ride. All of the complications that ensued next could be attributed to my dog. Trucker was greatly confused that Cleo was walking him and I was walking this behemoth. He kept trying to cut up in between Spike and I, which would result in mass confusion and leash tangling. Spike behaved like a gentleman, even politely veering on to another road when a small surly boy began to light off firecrackers in his general direction. It needs to be stated, however, that Spike goes where Spike wants to go. He is very large, as has been previously stated, and when he sees a tree or mailbox that needs his attention, there's no holding him back. I was basically along for the ride. We walked for about twenty minutes, and hydrated each mailbox and tree on our way at least twice, before it became apparent that Spike was in bad need of water. We headed back to Camp Spike. It got a little complicated at this point. When Cleo and Truck and I went to leave, Spike flew into a frenzy of loneliness. He began to hurl himself against the fence in an attempt to bust out and follow us home. I was a little concerned that he would manage to get out, but he didn't succeed. Regardless, I felt horrible leaving him there. I called and left a message for his owner when I got home, telling him that everything had gone well but that he was really determined to get out of his yard. My Conclusion: Spike is imminently walkable. Phase Three: More walks. You all pretty much get the picture now, I would imagine. saturday, june 30
 Day One: Spike Project Last night, Truck and I went to Spike's house. My heart beat rapidly as I entered the fence. Would this huge dog with giant jaws behave unpredictably now that I was in his space? Would he freak out if Trucker chased one of his cat friends? So many unknown variables were involved in this doggie adventure! Spike gazed at us quizzically as I wrestled with the gate, attempting to get Trucker and myself in without letting him out. Suddenly, we were within Spike's Realm! He sniffed. He paused. There was a moment of silence, waiting. Trucker was alert, his back hair mohawk was up. I began to back away from the dogs just in case. Spike's legs were trembling, he slowly approached Trucker. Trucker remained stock still. Spike began to lick Trucker all over his body. Spike licked and licked and licked. Trucker didn't quite know what to make of this. Finally, after what seemed to be at least ten minutes of this strange licking ritual, Trucker turned and feinted at Spike, indicating that he had experienced quite enough of this slobber bath. Spike immediately lay down and batted at Trucker's legs, inviting him to play. Suddenly, one of Spike's cat friends showed up. Trucker went dashing after the cat, and Spike followed, whimpering with excitement. Trucker spent much of the remainder of our visit to Spike's realm obsessing over the cat on the gate. He sat in front of the gate and stared at the cat, unmoving. They were having a major standoff. Spike tried several times to get Trucker to play with him, but to no avail. Trucker had a mission- a cat mission. He would not be lead astray! In the meantime, I performed some experiments on Spike to determine if there was any hidden aggression that I needed to be aware of when I took him out in public. I fed him and Trucker biscuits right next to each other. No food aggression for Spike! I made Spike sit, and lay down. No problems there. I sat on the ground with my head level to the giant beast. He licked me and lay in my lap. I leaned over him and grabbed his collar. He rolled over for belly rubs. I leaned very close to his water dish, dumped it out, refilled it. He looked at me and wondered what the hell I was doing, drank too much water, and choked. I hung out in the yard with Spike, Trucker, and the cats for about an hour. The experiment was progressing very nicely, save for the fact that Trucker was too obsessed with the cats to play with Spike. We bid Spike adieu till the next time. My conclusion: Spike is a big giant softie wimpy dog. However, being a dog of large stature, I have decided to walk him without Trucker for now, until we get used to each other. Phase two: the walk. Stay tuned for more exciting installments of adventures with Spike! friday, june 8
I am on a blog vacation, as you can see by my lack of words. I am trying to finish a project, and I need to immediately start on two more projects after that, so I expect I will be back in a few weeks. In the meantime, you could look here, or you could look at this:  monday, may 28
friday: cleo had a friend sleep over, we went to this dorky ceramic studio place and painted plates and cups. got pizza. went grocery shopping. went home. saturday: cosima's mom came to pick her up. we walked to the bakery. we ate bagels/pastries/drank juice. went home. dave's friend darren came over. made some egg salad. walked the dog. my friend ana came over. went to see bloodhag and homo eraticus play. my sister was there. went home, my sister slept over. sunday: had a "help kelsey bind 600 books" party. was late, shopping for food and wine, when i got there my friend and his daughter were already there. about six or seven of us sat around and folded and collated and drank wine and ate food. cleaned up katie's studio, where i had the party. moved her kitchen table back into the house. went home. watched a little bit of "the usual suspects." my sister fell asleep on the couch. monday: woke up really early because dave was going hiking and taking my sister back to seattle. got up and made coffee and sat in the garden. farted around on the internet. cleo woke up. made waffles. cleaned the house and got cranky. went to friend katie's studio to work on the books. met a wandering dog named priscilla, a sweet lab/pit mix who liked to have her belly rubbed and was smitten with trucker (my dog). managed to decipher the faded phone number on her collar and called her owners, who came and got her. went home. made rice and beans, and here i am. this exercise in listing items brought to you by the letter y and the number 5. wednesday, may 23
My girl won Boot Camp. Mister Ego stabbed too many people in the back and paid for it. Goes to show you, don't it? I am going to be a scab tomorrow at work, most of the Washington state workers are striking tomorrow. I finished printing tonight. Booyah! sunday, may 20
I finished printing the covers last night at one a.m. I printed 250 out of 600 page ones tonight. I should be done printing by wednesday and binding the damn books by friday. I have decided to bribe my friends with food to come help me bind books on sunday. You can all come. There will be food and beer and wine, that's really all I can offer. I hope to finish the behemoth books by the end of May. None of you care about this, but it's all I have been thinking about for like three weeks so you'll all just have to bear with me until I can talk about other things. Here's something interesting: I have a job interview on the 28th with the Department of Natural Resources. I can't believe my bullshit answers to their application questions somehow earned me the pleasure of an interview. I doubt I will get the job, as I have little to no knowledge of forestry issues, but I'm excited regardless for the interview. This dog is a good dog. wednesday, may 16
Some search engine topics that somehow lead to my website: space ballerinas, paper dresses, vicious dog, adam day, standard poodle, mike5 crack, onionhead, mer*** howard, smart mop, wrought iron ashtray, margret bailey, botswanas book in pictures, slut daughter, gadarene swine, magic marker ass, community print olympia, dog hat, pretty aunt nancy, kinko s coworker, darren white in seattle, clip dog toenails, oswestry sex, lynnwood fucking, agatha in fashion, chiropractic ball buy, gay survivor erotic story colby jeff, chris farley, el nino movie, lung fungus, abulia, kaya valerie update, have to wear a mask pictures, ideas and pictures for full sleeve tattoos, plastic underpants, phone sex numbers in wisconsin, pies in panties, palm pilot menses, long term shackles wearing, huge ta tas, coffee is good for me, jesus freak, old bitches with no teeth, why is a toilet called the loo, plastic smell computer case, new freckles, rochdale cooperative new haven, breakdance poems, pictures of seattle firemen darren, docutech 6180, cadbury creme egg song, music strippers dance to, blindswine, transparent leotards, hippies, german shorthaired pointer menstrual, nontoxic printmaking, how about some pie, ecdysiast, living with people sucks, vandemonium band, psychotic egomaniac, gerald collier, biker bitches fighting, hamburger stands swedish, i am paralyzed from the waist down, martha stewart clothespin dolls For some reason, I think these are all hilarious. tuesday, may 15
Wow. I am a blogging loser. Truth is, I've been a little on the edge lately. I have so much to do with this book project, that I feel overwhelmed by doing even such simple items as responding to phone messages, returning emails, and posting on my blogger. I don't respond well to pressure, I either shut down or freak out. I think I'm in the shut down mode currently. I have felt like I am spinning my wheels for several weeks now. Many things that I was hopeful about in life have come to disappoint me. Not meaning to whine, but that's just how it's been. I feel like I haven't spent any time with my family, my house is a mess, there is a bad smell coming from under the kitchen sink which is also related to my dishwasher plumbing not functioning correctly, and school is almost over with no good idea of what we are going to do for daycare this summer. Also, my neck and shoulders have been killing me, and I've been grinding my teeth in my sleep which is giving me headaches. On the up side of things, I went to hang out with Merc last friday night and we had a good time, and I saw two good bands and bought some new clothes and an ugly pair of cheap shoes and a new cellphone. I ought not to have gone, but I'm glad I did anyhow. Sometimes, I really miss Seattle. saturday, may 5
---------- Original Message ---------------------------------- From: "Rob F****" Reply-To: "Rob F@@@@" Date: Sat, 21 Apr 2001 15:51:54 +0100 Hello Agatha, My name is Rob F***** and I'm a UK based journalist currently involved in three inspired zines, namely Left Of The Dial, Leicester Bangs and Luke. All three extensively feature independent US releases, especially those that fall into the indie / garage / punk / power pop and alternative Americana / country genres. I've contacted you in the hope that you will consider adding my details to your promotional database. Right now, I'm particularly interested in hearing your recent Diamonds release. My mailing address is as follows: Rob F@@@@ Q$@R%#$^$%&# #!@$%!!%@^#$%& #%$$%$^@$^@$^> I hope you will give my request full consideration and I look forward to hearing from you soon, Rob. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Hello Rob, I'm not exactly sure why you think that I have some connection with music promoting in any way, but the fact is that I don't. I have a personal website that is right here: http://www.torturechamber.com/agatha Although your zines sound very interesting, I would probably be of no assistance to you in terms of promotion, as I am just a regular human being that likes to write about my regular human being life. I am flattered that you found my email address and somehow thought that I was more interesting than I actually am. Thanks for giving me something interesting to read. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, but life has been eating my days voraciously. Regards- Kelsey aka Agatha ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I love getting emails like this. They make me feel so popular, even if they are addressed to the wrong person. wednesday, may 2
Wow. Eight days have passed. Let's see... I've been busy with the sorts of things that don't seem like they should take up so much time, yet somehow they do. Well, there was the Procession of the Species a couple of weekends ago, sandwiched in time by Artswalk and Cleo's birthday party. There were also two other children's birthday parties earlier on in the week, and two we had to miss. Cleo's party had close to 50 people and at least twenty kids. It was insane. I was an hour late because I got a bug up my ass about making a vegan dessert choice for my vegan friends, many of whom did not come. The pie got devoured regardless. Here is the recipe: Yummy Chocolate Tofu Pie Whut Tastes Better Than It Sounds 1 pkg silken tofu 1 12 oz package of semisweet morsels 2 tbsp maple syrup graham cracker crust fruit and or whipped topping, if you like that sort of thing. Turn your oven on. Now, turn it off because this recipe doesn't involve use of the oven. Turn your burner on and melt your morsels in a dubya boiler. Food process or blenderize the tofu until it is smooth. When the morsels are melty, add the maple syrup and pour the whole mess in the blending or processing unit. Blend/process until smooth and pour into the graham cracker crust. Add the fruit and or whipped topping if you are into that sort of thing. This pie is so good and nobody ever knows there is tofu in it. You can vary the maple syrup according to how sweet you like things, I like the chocolate to remain fairly bittersweet, so I use one tablespoon of syrup instead of two. So, yeah. That was two weekends ago. Last week, I did a fair amount of trying to get shit done for the books that I have to finish by June. Last friday night, I was obligated to attend a performance by the Heartsparkle Players, this semidorky but well meaning theater group for children. Cleo's school was singing with them, thus the obligation. I actually laughed out loud a few times, which I think embarrassed Dave a little bit. Saturday involved more Cleoschoolcrap, I had to help get stuff ready for the silent auction that was going on the next day to raise money for the school. Sunday was the silent auction and rollerskating party, which I just had to ditch. I spent some good quality time with the couch on sunday. Yesterday was Mayday, and I went to Seattle instead of going to the Mayday celebration here in town, because my friend Shannon used my love of her to lure me to Seattle. I bought two new pair of kneesocks, one red and black striped and one black with red letters that say "hottie". I discovered that my bank account had a lowly twenty dollars in it. I watched the peregrine falcons and their chicks in the Washington Mutual Tower. A semi crazy man dropped a dollar and then rushed ahead on Third Avenue. I picked it up to give it back to him, he ducked behind a pillar, looked back at me, and then disappeared. I gave it to a homeless man with lots of gray beard in the Pike Place Market. I visited Sonja and Bethany and ate Ethiopian food. Then, I came home. Then, it was wednesday and I had a review at work and all was well save for one comment from someone that I thought was to be trusted more than she apparently should be. Who cares, anyhow, it's just work. Fuckem. I have more to say, finally, but I hate this keyboard and I am tired.   
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