Pray.
In response to the terrorist attacks on the United States, I say this: pray. I'm at a friend's house or else I'd write more. Just pray.

image by krissy.

Life is Currently Unplugged
At the moment I do not have an internet connection available to me at my church. I hope to fix this soon. As for now, I'm at the 'rents house, doing laundry. A quick recap of this week:

Tuesday Move in day. Did not sleep Monday night. 5 am prayer. Home to pack. Orientation, followed by the beginning stages of setting up Hell House. Tried to learn to swing dance for a skit we're doing. Ablaze College & Career. Sleep. But not a lot.

Wednesday 5 am prayer. Two chapel services at the school. Short break in the afternoon. Bus ministry. Youth group. Sleep. But not enough.

Thursday through Saturday Indiana! Worked at a camp called In Pursuit! Awesome time. Lots of work.

And now I'm home. We have church all day tomorrow, a school retreat Monday-Tuesday. Classes start Wednesday, a school assembly on Thursday, and who knows what's going on after that.

10 months is a long time. But it'll be awesome.
5:45 PM - 2 comments

Moving Day
This is it. My last night as a resident in my parents' house. Later today I'll move into my Master's Commission dorm, and then come June, who knows where I'll live.

I don't plan on sleeping, as my clothes are taking forever to dry and I still have two more loads to go into the washer. My parents will be upset that I ran the washer and dryer all night long, but hey, this is my last night at home.

Wow.
12:30 AM - 9 comments

No More Planet
I was scanning through the radio stations today and heard 96.3 referred to as "the new 96.3, DVD." 96.3 used to be the Planet, and apparently there's been some changes. DVD sounds lame, in my opinion.

Yes, it is true. I was scanning through secular radio stations. Due to the absence of any Christian cds or cassettes in my car, and feeling the need to sing along to something I turned on the radio. Our Christian station, WMUZ 103.5 was airing a repeat of a listener call-in show. I wasn't about to listen to that.

Speaking of WMUZ, they're having their listener picnic in a couple of weeks at Detroit World Outreach Christian Academy, the school run by my church. I wonder if Master's Commission will be forced have the opportunity to attend.

My main problem with WMUZ is that they have nothing on the station geared toward the Christian youth population of the metropolitan Detroit area, and they don't care. Their market audience is 30 and older. Even still, the station would be bearable, even with its limited selection of contemporary Christian music, if they played more than two songs in a row before breaking into 10 minutes of commercials. Here's a scenario of what you might hear on the station during one listening block:

Rebecca St. James (not a bad choice) - Wait For Me
Phillips Craig and Dean - Mercy Came Running
Commercial for Hilton Mortgage
DJ talks about Hilton Mortgage
DJ talks about New Car Alternative
Commercial for New Car Alternative
Commercial for Volunteers of America
DJ talks about Volunteers of America
Time for another song!

Yeah, you very rarely hear more than two songs in a row, and I'm sure when you do its due to a screw-up at the station.

Did I mention that the CCM program only lasts from 4-7? Right...

But that's their plan. I'm sure they make a lot of money from constantly plugging their advertiser. More power to them.

Detroit needs a Christian rock station. I wish I had the money to start one up.
4:03 PM - 7 comments

first-thing: a diary-x experiment
I put up yet another diary-x journal yesterday. This one is a showcase of my writing, or blurbs of it, where I ask readers to e-mail me their initial response to what they have just read, the first thing they think of.
2:22 PM - 1 comment

On the Verge of a Revolution: Link
In addition to my posts, I thought I'd link an awesome article by Conrad of decapolis.com that deals with turning this lukewarm generation around and gives you some helpful hints in recognizing your calling.
8:47 PM - 0 comments

Got Some Spare Change?
I start Master's Commission in one week. Care to donate to the cause?
12:25 PM - 3 comments

On the Verge of a Revolution #1: We're Still Lukewarm

This post is the first in a series here at foolishness.net that will attempt to challenge Christianity as it exists today, and add to the growing desire of many Christians to live sold out for God. Yes I would like to stir up discussion. However, I pray that God uses these simple posts of mine to stir up in your heart a greater passion for Him. I pray the same for myself, as I write them. You'll be able to access all the posts here.

For a while, I've been a member of the Decapolis Network. The purpose of the network is to unify websites that will challenge their visitors to choose to live on fire for God, rather than remaining lukewarm. That has long been something on my heart, so the network fit me perfectly. I also admit that I often struggle with complaceny in my Christian walk, and am often found to be lukewarm myself.

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
--Revelation 3:15,16

Ever taste lukewarm iced tea? Or how about lukewarm coffee or hot chocolate? All three would taste nasty. Iced tea is meant to be served cold, hot chocolate and coffee are meant to be served hot. Lukewarm just doesn't cut it with my tastebuds.

Jesus tells us in the third chapter of Revelation that He wants to make a choice. Either be "cold," totally sold out to the world and its god, or to be "hot" and be on fire for Him. Yet many of us are neither. We're lukewarm. We live for God on Sundays, Wednesdays, around our church friends... but the rest of the time we don't.

Or... we live for God constantly, but it's in our deeds, not in our hearts. We need to do both.

God would rather you live fully for the world than only give Him part of your life.

When we remain lukewarm we miss out on all God has to offer us for our lives. Read the book of Acts. God hasn't changed, His church has.

We don't have to break ourselves away from being lukewarm step by step. I've seen people get saved, and instantly live with a passion for God that has not yet died. We need to get hungry for that passion again. We need to pray for it. God will answer.

We need to pray for greater love. When love motivates us, we'll begin to change the world. We need to see the love God has for the world, so that we may learn to love it as well.

Right now, my world is small. It's my family, my friends, and also includes the metro Detroit area to a certain extent. What's your world? We'll start off small, and as we're faithful, God will increase our world.

My camp director shared something with the camp staff that has really helped me in prayer. He said to talk to Jesus like He's your best friend. So I've done that. And I haven't found a better friend.

We need to be in the Word daily, and in prayer constantly. So if you're willing to join me in leading a revolution, I challenge you to those two things. We're gonna change the world!
2:43 AM - 2 comments

Katy Raymond of fallible.com posted Sunday:

THINGS I'VE SAID THAT I HOPE OTHER PEOPLE WILL WISH THEY'D SAID:
First in a Series

"Under pressure, I don't do too well. Without pressure, I don't do too much."

Well Katy, I wish I had said it first.
1:22 AM - 0 comments

Happy (belated) Birthday Aunt Mary!
My Aunt Mary's birthday made the local newspaper on Tuesday... It's a cute read about a phone company mix-up.
10:41 PM - 3 comments

Instant Access to World Wide News and You Tell Me This?
I find it sad that AOL's top news story currently is that four people won last night's Powerball lottery. News? maybe. Top news? No way.
5:23 PM - 0 comments

Be Magnified
Lynn DeShazo

I have made You too small in my eyes
Oh Lord, forgive me
And I have believed in a lie
That You were unable to help me

But now, oh Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart, and show Yourself strong
And in my eyes and with my song
Oh Lord be magnified, oh Lord be magnified

Be magnified oh Lord
You are highly exalted
And there is nothing You can't do
Oh Lord, my eyes are on you
Be magnified
Oh Lord be magnified

I have leaned on the wisdom of men
Oh Lord forgive me
And I have responded to them
Instead of Your light and Your mercy

But now, oh Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart, and show Yourself strong
And in my eyes and with my song
Oh Lord be magnified, oh Lord be magnified

Today I had the opportunity to talk with a woman who has served God for many years, and who taught me so much in a single hour of conversation... And as she was talking, God was stirring up that passion in my heart that I've been lacking. I was so blessed to have had that conversation, because I needed to be shaken from my complacency. She also reminded me that I can never put God in a box, that He will never fit into my life, because He is too big.

God doesn't serve me, I serve Him. I've never come right out and said that He does, but I have lived that way. Selfish prayers, impure motivations, and just an unbalanced relationship. I've been taking all I could from Him and not giving much at all. It's time to once again hand over my life. After all, I was bought with a price.
1:20 AM - 2 comments

I Wish I Were Happy...

Just check out the link. Please.
5:17 PM - 3 comments

What Really Matters
Often I find myself hiding in shame from God. I fail to keep up my end of our relationship. Like a friend who I never call back on the phone, or failing to show up when I'm supposed to meet with someone. That often describes me and God.

But there's something amazing about my Heavenly Father: His love. It stays with me through my rebellion, my laziness, and my apathy. It never ceases when I cease to love Him.

The same is true with you. Whether you know God or not, He loves you. Regardless of anything you've done in your life, things you've said, people you've hurt, people who have hurt you, etc... God loves you. Whether you like it or not.

Some people never get to know that love because they've been hurt so bad, and no one's taken the time to share it with them. Some reject it. Some people are blind to the existence of God, and miss out on His love completely, while indulging themselves in the things of this world.

Some people grasp onto the fact that they are loved by the Creator of this universe and it changes their lives.

Which category do you fit into?

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
--Romans 8:38,39 NLT
1:36 AM - 2 comments

Um... Yeah... I'll go fill out the subscription card right now.
Apparently Oprah's magazine is offering me the opportunity to change my dull, empty life. And look! A discounted subscription as well! How lucky can one person get? What more could I ask for? ::Please ignore my sarcasm.:: I saw that ad on top of my AOL Instant Messenger Buddy List, and I couldn't resist sharing it with you, the foolishness.net reader. I think Adbusters should do a spoof of it. Or of celebrity magazines in general. Do Martha Stewart, Rosie, Oprah, and the worst of them all, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen really all need their own magazines? I don't think so!

Personally, I tend to only read magazines when they're available already to me, and I happened to be bored out of my mind. Such as when I'm at the doctor's office, which means I could have a two hour wait, and I forgot a book to read. For the most part, when you buy a magazine, you pay three to nine dollars for a whole lot of advertising, poorly written articles, with maybe a couple of cool pictures. I just don't get it. Care to enlighten me?
12:33 AM - 4 comments

New Layout!
Yes, it is that time again. Another new layout for foolishness.net. Since many of my friends have already returned to school, and most of the rest will be within the next couple of weeks, it was time to take the summer layout down.

The new theme is "I don't wanna grow up" and is displayed by the ridiculously cute teddy bear (a classic Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal that I happen to own.) It's kind of ironic, since I'll be starting Master's Commission in 12 days, and that will require me to be more disciplined and responsible than I ever have been in my life. Maybe I'm still in shock that I've made that 10 month committment. I'm not sure.

Anyway, how do you like the layout?
1:25 PM - 6 comments

The End Of one restless cat
If you've ever im-ed me on one restless cat, know that those days are no more. That im name came from an old nickname, Cat, which I got because my middle name is Catherine. However, I don't really use that nickname much anymore, so I deleted that screen name.

Wanna know my new im name?

Cool. e-mail me.
2:38 PM - 4 comments

A Few Short Days Remaining
September 4, 2001- The day that I will officially begin Master's Commission. That's only a little more than two weeks away. 15 remaining days of freedom. As soon as I move into my dorm, my time belongs to God, and to Detroit World Outreach.

Am I ready?

I used to think I was. Now I'm not so sure. But I'm going to do it anyway. I need to. I need to commit to something in my life.

10 months. Wow that's a long time.

If I don't do this program I'll regret it. Yet I wish I felt more ready to jump headfirst into ministry and servanthood. I guess I'd never really "feel" ready, and besides, it's not about feelings.

I wish I was better prepared financially. I'm lacking spiritually as well. I have 2 weeks now to get ready. I need to be in prayer a whole lot more than I am now.

I think I'm going to set up a seperate page for my Masters Commission adventures, and make use of sarakruszka.com. So stay tuned. And please, keep me in prayer.
8:18 PM - 1 comment

Perception versus Reality: Which One is True?
After reading this entry over at Wockerjabby, I pose the question to the viewing audience of foolishness.net:

How would you describe me?

If you would like to respond to this question, take some time to read through my posts, including the "best of" collection, and also the intro to this site. Then post a comment responding to the question. I think I'll be turning this into an ongoing project. First I'd like y'all to respond, then I'll respond to that question myself. (That is what the girl did who inspired Rabi in the first place.)

So tell me, who am I?
7:33 PM - 3 comments

Home At Last
Our camp work week got cancelled so I'm home from summer camp. Finally. Of course on Monday some of the staff is going back up, but that's just to relax and take in the 70 acres without any campers around. I'll be home again on Tuesday, and I'll finally get a chance to go back to Ablaze, the college and career group at my church. I miss them.

I don't have much to say, but I did scan in a couple of pictures.
5:42 PM - 2 comments

Homesick
Last week at camp we had a severe thunderstorm and tornado watch. While the kids were all in chapel, my friend Christina and I were running around making sure everything was unplugged and gathering flashlights and stuffed animals. We were talking about the possibility of going home that very night. Home being Heaven.

I found myself at total peace that night. I knew if a tornado hit, I could very well wake up in Heaven. That night I started dreaming once again about how awesome eternity will be. Seeing Jesus, face to face, at last.

I knew I would be safe that night. I know there's more that I have to accomplish down here on earth before God will call me home. Yet ever so often I get to thinking about Heaven, such as Thursday night.

I'm feeling kinda homesick.
11:12 AM - 1 comment

Seven Things I've Learned at Camp

1. Carry Toilet Paper in Your Pocket. No, I'm not joking. Since the toilet paper dispenser was broken, tp rolls often made their way to the bathroom floor. Most eight year olds haven't learned how to properly secure a shower curtain to keep water off of the floor. Mud gets tracked across the floor. Hence, a toilet paper roll that falls to the floor is a useless roll. Thus, it's safe to be prepared.

2. "Lights Off" Doesn't Mean Bedtime. I used to be the camper that stayed up every night until 3, talking to whoever would stay up with me. Now I'm grown up, and I want to sleep. My campers don't. I'm reaping what I sowed.

3. Spider Bites Itch. Somehow a spider crawled into my sleeping bag. It bit up my feet pretty bad. My feet look nasty now. And they itch.

4. Pray Without Ceasing. I'm learning the importance of spiritual warfare. On top of that, I need my best friend, Jesus, at all times while I'm up at camp. I talk to Him often.

5. Love Hurts. I'm in the middle of four weeks of girls camp. As soon as these kids get into your life, they win your heart, and you can't help caring about them. However, they've learned to shut out the world and love, to keep from getting hurt. So they shut you out, and that hurts. Yet that goes back to #4.

6. Don't Run Down Hills in the Dark Without a Flashlight. My knees hurt.

7. Proverbs 3:5,6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.
4:50 PM - 8 comments

Starting Over... Again
One of my goals this weekend, before I leave for camp again tomorrow, is to clean up this site. I already started by going through and deleting every post to this blog.

Whenever I'm writing a letter, and I feel like it's no longer going anywhere, and my words are becoming trite, I crumple up the page and start all over. I've done the same thing here. I grew tired of my meaningless posts, which lacked quality and substance. I cleaned up the layout a tad. I put my favorite entries in a "best of" foolishness.net collection.

I have three more weeks at camp, which leaves only my weekends free. I hope to update on a weekly basis, but in reality, most of the time I just stare at this screen and can't think of any worthwhile thing to say, resulting in meaningless posts, which leads to me getting frustrated, thus going through my entire blog and wiping it out completely.

Such as that which occured today.

There is still work to do. Files to be deleted, directories that need to be restructured, and one page that needs desperately to be updated. For now, I'm taking a break and finding something to eat.
5:12 PM - 4 comments