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Sans feck since 1999
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Peer devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit:
Thro' bloody flood or field to dash.
O how unfit!
-- Address to
a Haggis by Robert
Burns.
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The column seems to be written with a world-weary sigh by an author who
somehow lifts himself above the feckless failings of colleagues. Thus, a
fortnight ago, a correction regretted an article's reference to someone
"having the nerve to gamble in pubic". The correction concluded: "At least
we did not say gambol."
-- Re: The
Guardian's corrections column, from This
is London.
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Anyone who grows up watching TV, never sees any religion or philosophy, is
raised in an atmosphere of moral
relativism, learns about civics from watching bimbo eruptions on network
TV news, and attends a university where postmodernists vie to outdo each
other in demolishing traditional notions of truth and quality, is going to
come out
into the world as one pretty feckless
human being. And .. perhaps the goal of all this is to make us feckless so we won't nuke each other.
-- In the
Beginning Was the Command Line by Neal Stephenson.
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The Feckless Newbie Idiot Troll: "Gee,
what is this board about?"
[not to be confused with the *genuine* feckless newbie idiot post
that really wants to know, "Gee, what is this board about?"]
-- categories of trolls, from the Alt.Flame
FAQ.
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That uncle of yours who embraces (and tries to enlist you in) one
get-rich-quick
scheme after another probably qualifies as "feckless." The folks who actually turn over
their savings accounts to him, on the
other hand, richly deserve the title of "gormless."
-- Feck vs.
Gorm, from The
Word Detective.
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Titania: Sometimes I wish that my ambassador was not quite so... let me
see. Feckless?
Cluracan: You reign over a feckless
dominion, My Lady.
-- Queen Titania and Cluracan, in Sandman #52: "Cluracan's
Tale"
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"I give ye your choice," says Alan. "Set me on dry ground in
Appin, or Ardgour, or in Morven, or Arisaig, or Morar; or, in
brief, where ye please, within thirty miles of my own country;
except in a country of the Campbells. That's a broad target. If
ye miss that, ye must be as feckless at
the sailoring as I have
found ye at the fighting. Why, my poor country people in their
bit cobles pass from island to island in all weathers, ay,
and by night too, for the matter of that."
-- Kidnapped
by Robert
Louis Stevenson.
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So far as Londoners are concerned, public spending is something that other
people - usually Scots - receive. They see it as
dole money for the economic wimps; hand outs for the fiscally feckless. The extent to which their own
economy is propped up
by public money is only dimly perceived, if at all.
-- Scotching the
Myth, from Scotland on Sunday.
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- Of course, my school was so fractious and balkanized that my people--the
goths--had a plurality. It was a way sucky school man--probably the worst
in the state!
- It couldn't have been that bad, dude.
- Why not?
- You know words like "fractious," "balkanized" and "plurality."
- Thanks. I also know "feckless."
-- Doonesbury, November
28th, 1999.
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Hostile aliens crowd the
streets, controlling the minds
of the feckless human hayseeds
with manipulative billboards and
newspaper ads. And only Rowdy
Roddy Piper can see them!
-- Trance
Mission, from Suck.
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Sing, Michael, sing-on the route of the 19 Bus
Hear them sayin'
How you get a rude and a reckless?
Don't you be so crude and a feckless
You been drinking brew for breakfast
Rudie can't fail.
-- Rudie Can't Fail, from London Calling by The
Clash.
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'But I'm no socialist, and I would have ye keep mind of that. I'm yin o'
the old Border radicals, and I'm not like to change. I'm for
individual liberty and equal rights and chances for all men. I'll no
more bow down before a Dagon of a Goavernment official than
before the Baal of a feckless Tweedside
laird. I've to keep my views
to mysel', for thae young lads are all drucken-daft with their wee
books about Cawpital and Collectivism and a wheen long senseless
words I wouldna fyle my tongue with. Them and their socialism!
There's more gumption in a page of John Stuart Mill than in all
that foreign trash. But, as I say, I've got to keep a quiet sough, for
the world is gettin' socialism now like the measles. It all comes of a
defective eddication.'
-- Mr.
Standfast, by John
Buchan.
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ENEMY WANTED -- Mature, lonely, North American superpower seeks
hostile-sounding and muscular-looking but internally moribund nation for
international competitive bluster, mutual threat inflation,
political-military gymnastics, and general bellicose finger pointing. . .
. Possession of large, phallic ballistic missiles (large throw weight
only), and/or chem-bio also a plus--willful violations of feckless arms control agreements will earn
continuing thanks.
-- Pentagon Personals
Ad, author unknown, from Geez Jan.
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Then there is a passage such as this, Lord Emsworth musing on his feckless younger son, Freddie Threepwood:
Unlike the male codfish, which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thousand little codfish, cheerfully resolves to love them all, the British aristocracy is apt to look with a somewhat jaundiced eye on its younger sons.
-- What ho! My hero, PG Wodehouse, by Stephen Fry.
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FECKLESS
DAVE specializes in high-energy, muscular, but introspective rockers like "Face." Songs like "Every Six Months" are blasts of cathartic energy.
-- from the press kit of D.C. band Feckless Beast.
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Last feck: [1.27.2000 at 03:26pm]
Add some
feck.
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[ F E C K L E S S . B O O K L I S T ]
Thursday, September 21, 2000
Watership Down -- Richard Adams
The Forge of God -- Greg Bear
Anvil of the Stars -- Greg Bear
Great Sky River -- Gregory Benford
Tides of Light -- Gregory Benford
[9/21/2000 3:08:39 PM]
- - - - - -
Wednesday, September 20, 2000
Pirx the Pilot -- Stanislaw Lem
[9/20/2000 2:50:16 PM]
- - - - - -
Friday, September 1, 2000
Hard-Boiled Wonderland and The End of the World -- Haruki Murakami
[9/1/2000 10:41:15 AM]
- - - - - -
Saturday, August 26, 2000
Recently . . .
A Civil Campaign -- Lois McMaster Bujold
Bread & Wine -- Samuel Delany
Fear of a Black Marker -- Keith Knight
Sunset Song -- Lewis Grassic Gibbon
[8/26/2000 7:04:44 PM]
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Tuesday, August 1, 2000
Currently slogging through:
Firece Invalids Home From Hot Climates -- Tom Robbins
Read recently (i.e. sometime in the last month):
Childhood's End -- Arthur C. Clarke
Shorter Views: Queer Thoughts and the Politics of the Paraliterary -- Raphael Carter
Zot! -- Scott McCloud
Reread recently:
Elfquest Book 1 -- Wendy & Richard Pini
Batman: Year 1 -- Frank Miller
[8/1/2000 8:59:03 PM]
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Thursday, June 1, 2000
Read recently:
1984 -- Samuel Delany
Collection of letters during one (important) year in Delany's life. Highly recommended, even if you're not a Delany nut.
Fortunate Fall -- Raphael Carter
Reread recently:
Unlikely Stories, Mostly -- Alasdair Gray
The Lord of the Rings -- J. R. R. Tolkein
The Silmarillion -- J. R. R. Tolkein
"Rhinoceros Who Quoted Nietzsche" -- Peter S. Beagle
[6/1/2000 1:21:17 PM]
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Monday, May 1, 2000
Contemporary Scottish Short List
(This list was concocted for a friend who needed suggestions for books to read. It's a highly imperfect, incomplete, and subjective list of some Scottish writers who are a. really cool and b. still alive and kicking. It's a start.)
Novels
- Iain Banks, The Crow Road
- Janice Galloway, The Trick is To Keep Breathing
- Alasdair Gray, Poor Things
- Alasdair Gray, Lanark
- James Kelman, How Late It Was, How Late
- Charles Palliser, Betrayals
- Alan Warner, Morvern Callar
- Irvine Welsh, Trainspotting
Short Stories
- Janice Galloway, Blood
- Alasdair Gray, 10 Tales Tall & True
- James Kelman, Busted Scotch
Some caveats to the above list: I'm not adding the more science fiction-ey Iain Banks books. I'm figuring you'll get to those anyway--The Crow Road is one of the better of his non-SF books. Of the novels, I'd start with Trainspotting, Poor Things, and either of the Galloway books. Lanark and How Late It Was are probably the two most important books on the list, but they're also two of the most difficult and/or dense. Relatively speaking, the lightest reads are probably The Crow Road, Morvern Callar (highly uneven, but fun), and Betrayals, which is sort of a giant lit-geek in-joke of a crime novel. I say lightest, but there isn't a book on the list that isn't incredibly grim--in general, the writers concentrate on talking about drug abuse, death, alcoholism, death, political repression, death, police brutality, death, mental problems, death, disability, suicide, sexual abuse, and, um, death. Even the funny ones.
[5/1/2000 1:11:51 PM]
- - - - - -
Thursday, March 2, 2000
Restraint of Beasts
Magnus Mills
Right, so I admit that I picked up this book because I thought it fit into
my Scottish novelists fetish. And it would, except that Magnus Mills is
English, as is the protagonist of this odd little novel. But while I
figured out Mr. Mills' nationality after giving the back cover a closer
look, I figured it might be interesting to see what he might be up to with
the Scottish characters in the book.
Very little good, is the answer. Tam and Ritchie, the two itinerant
fencebuilders that the English foreman is stuck with overseeing, are by
turns lazy, shiftless, drunk, dullwitted, agressive, and unclean. They're
also badly socialized metalheads. (I should note here that the Scottish
metalheads pictured here are dead ringers, physically, for some lads I met
in Glasgow. We're talking mullets here, people.) Sure, the narrator isn't
much better--he's just more moderate about it, and well enough socialized
to actually hit on women.
You get the picture. So I'm so busy wondering, as Mr. Mills puts these
charmers through horribly tedious sounding fence-related labor, why he's
bothered to portray Scots in this lovely manner while making a fairly big
fuss about their Scottishness, and furthermore why he hasn't yet been put
up against a wall by some of the more enthusiastic members of the Scottish
National Party's unnofficial blue-faced thug brigade, that it takes me a
while to notice that something of a body count is building up.
Hmmmm. Without giving too much away, right about at that point the
Scottish/English aspect of the story almost disappears, and everything
takes a turn for the Kafka. Why, we are instructed to wonder, would
anybody be needing to build these particular fences so high in the first
place? And why do we never see the factory workers leave? And why . . etc.
etc.
We're never really told why, of course. Probably has something to do with
the fairly heavy-handed humans are beasts and beasts should be restrained
message that's fed to us early on. Essentially we get the either you're a
sheep or you're a fascist choice, and if I have to put up with that sort
of depressive wankery I want it from someone who's balanced it out in
other, more optimistic works.
Like, oh, say, Iain Banks. Who does this sort of thing much better than
Mr. Magnus Mills. And is Scottish.
[3/2/2000 10:44:17 AM]
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