My Weblog

Thursday, June 8, 2000

There is something wrong With my brand new pet bunny It's starting to stink
posted by John Clavis 6/8/2000 11:43:57 AM

Friday, June 2, 2000

There is something wrong With my brand new pet bunny It's starting to stink
posted by John Clavis 6/2/2000 8:46:10 PM

Dead bunnies haiku

I see dead bunnies
In all the rooms of my house
Someone was busy

There are seven ways
To dispose of dead bunnies
I have tried them all

Look inside my car
It is filled with dead bunnies
Roll the windows down.

The highways of Earth
Are covered with dead bunnies
Drive carefully now.

Deadbunnies.com.
Absolutely no excuse
Deadbunnies.com.

Thought a dead bunny
Made a dandy hand puppet.
Misjudged the third grade.

Try a dead bunny
Hung from your rearview mirror
Cops won't give you shit.

Dead bunnies galore
Maggots having a field day
My garden is safe

Some people ask me
Why dead bunnies make me laugh.
I have no idea.

This is not a drill.
The dead bunnies are coming.
Find a place to hide.

If a bunny dies
And there is no one around
Does it make a sound?

Ground-up dead bunny
Can, in an emergency,
Double as paté.

Top story today:
Vicious gangs of dead bunnies
Terrorize city.

Dead bunnies in my soup
Waiter apologizes
I get free salad

Bunnies are adept
At finding buried land mines
What a shitty job

I'll just tell Susie
That Cottontail ran away
Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!

Bunny's not asleep
You can not sleep when your head
Is in the dog's mouth

Drink the still-warm blood
Of a bunny drowned in gin
Goodbye, hangover

Bunnies have long ears
So you can get a firm grip
When you slit their throats

Bear and rabbit fight
Rabbit has a lot of friends
Bear wins anyway

Bunnies don't like fish
They tend to choke on the bones
I learned the hard way

In the photograph
The bunny lasts forever.
Now you can eat it.

It's not quite murder
If the bunny eats your friend
And you merely help.

Edgar Allen Poe
Kept a bunny as a pet.
But not for that long.

When a bunny dies
It means that you are pregnant.
Congratulations.

posted by John Clavis 6/2/2000 8:43:51 PM

Tuesday, May 30, 2000

Testing, testing, one, two...
posted by John Clavis 5/30/2000 5:40:13 PM

Dead bunnies. That oughta do it.
posted by John Clavis 5/30/2000 5:38:57 PM