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a hard day's night
	
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12-3-00<br>
It's too early for this.</b><p>			
I just woke up at 6:45 to get in the car & give my Aunt Sharon directions to drive the rest of us from Mom's house to Dad's house, and bloody mother! am I tired. But I thought I'd come and update just for you people becasue I love you so. You know it's true. Dad bought a scanner yesterday, so I'll probably get a little picture happy as soon as we figure out how to work it. On my wishlist o' pictures:
<ul><li>KoRn ticket - for the KoRn page
<li>Good picture of me - just so you know
<li>picture of my friends/people I stalk - cuz I have good taste
<li>Pictures of Ryan, Laura, Jamie - mostly for Shan & Jason to see
<li>Homecoming pictures - because I said I would
<li>Orgy tickets - to prove I'm not lying</ul>
And then, of course, I'd scan anything I could get my hands on. An' then anything else I wanted, bwahahahah. Was that creepy? It seemed a little creepy to me. Molly signed my website, she's hip. Yeah, rowr. We went to Goodwill and Salvation Army yesterday, Shannon's gift is almost complete (bwahahaha), and I was a driving manic. When I say that I am of course referring to the amount of driving I did, not my skill level. Shutup! I can read Yayson's mind. Anyway I'm gonna go sleepy now. Love you muchly & with a big stick (er, figuratively, o' course.)    			<p>			
	

11-2something-00<br>
Mmmmmm... cheetos </b><p>

Yeah, it's been a cheetos kind of day. I bought a pair of coveralls, dark blue, and wore them to school with a nametag that said "Lucy Fur". That's because I'm incredibly cool. Ok, I have to go now, lots o' family here and we're going to buy schtuff to put on the walls at mom's house. More Later.
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11-25-00
									
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I'm badical - dude.
						
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Dear Lord! Is it possible? Can Shelby have done something decent with her website? Indeed! Of course, like everything else decent that I've ever done, I copied it. Angelfire can be really cool sometimes - like with providing this template - but other times they're evil incarnate. For example, if I try to change the "<<" things, everything gets indented, which is a no-no.  Anyway, back to the issue of my complete inadequacy as a human being, I saw <a href="http://www.xneonx.com">Jason (Sackett)'s</a> digital art today, and bloody mother! That is really cool. I'm gonna get me some talent one of these days, I swear. Znarg, I just saw Braveheart, yowza. I'm a freak avec my noises. Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat! If you don't, I don't care, I'll pull down your underwear! So there! Well, I'm off to "bed", which of course is in some secret location that no one will ever find (right... there's never anyone in my bed. Where's Yayson when you need him?)<p>
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11-21-00<br>
Memories, sweet memories... </b><p>

I'll be off to mom's house until Friday in about 45 minutes, so I thought I should say something now. Plus, Aunt Mary from Virginia will be here Friday (yay!) And Grandpa Jack Saturday, so I'm betting my weekend should be full, although I was looking forward to some downtime. Oh well. I put up another <a href="/zine/ugly/articles/article15">article,</a> but it's really just some stories I wrote in 5th grade. Oh well, it's new to you! Does anyone remember the show Perfect Strangers? With Bronson Pinchot, and another guy whose name I don't remember? (feel free to tell me if you remember) I loved that show, and Herman's Head, and The Snorks, and especially David the Gnome. That has to be the best cartoon ever. Last night me & Ryan were talking about how cool Ren & Stimpy is, but man, they'd never show something like that to the precious, delicate children of today. How long is a generation? I don't like the kids of today, cuz I'm already a crachety old man. Bloody things get everything handed to them, and then they ask where the hell the silver platter is! Everything is so "safe" for them. We played with sharp sticks and ate mud and bugs, and did anyone care? NO! Or maybe I'm just complaining bitterly for no real reason. Whatever. Piece out. <p>

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11-20-00<br>
Now would be a good time for you to die</b><p>
<img src="/zine/ugly/images/shelbyID.jpg"><br>
This is my ID - at the bottom, you can see some of the scalloping which got me into trouble. Note that on the actual ID, not all of which is in this picture, <b>no</b> information was removed, only white stuff.<p>

Ahh! Blinding flash of rage! jesus christ (oh no! Lord's name in vain! <i>NOW</i> I'm going to hell!) I am soooo bloody pissed at the world. There was the ordeal with my ID Badge this morning, during which I was passed around more than a cheap whore at a 20 year old's bachelor party. From Mrs. James to Mr. Greenberg to Mrs. Gass to Mrs. James to Mr. Dirnbeck to Mrs. Pir-something to Mr. Grimmer, the upshot of all this being that, while everyone (except mrs. James) loves my lil scalloped design, I had to get a new ID. Great. Hold on, dinner time. <tt>LATER</tt> God, sometime I just wish I was bloody better at sharing my feelings. I could be like, "Look, I'm not so freaking one-dimensional, I swear! I'm actually a complex person! Look, damnit, I can hurt too!" I am but I child in the presence of these masters of pain, I suppose, so screw it, I'm onedimensional Shelby, two at most, incapable of any depth of emotion.<p>

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11-19-00<br>
I rokk beacoup de much</b><p>

Huh. I thought it had been longer since I last updated. I just wrote Shannon a loooong letter, but I forgot one thing: anyone remember Slutty Whitepants? Heh.... Yes, je suis thuper-cools, I made a shirt. I took one of Kellen's old plain black crew shirts, and ripped off the sleeves, ripped a V into the neck, ripped a bunch of holes in it, and added safety pins, duct tape, and a sticker that says "Kids need hugs, not drugs." How cool am I? Duh, thuper-cools, weren't you paying attention? Well, the Deftones/Incubus concert was sold out, which sukks my ass, but anyway... um, what was I gonna say? Oh! I am sooo going to the Orgy concert! I have the tickets! Me & Ryan and Dad are going. Ok, you can just stop your laughing, how else am I going to get to St. Louis? That's what I thought. Does anyone else think it's strange that I carry on these bizarre conversations with no one? It's a good thing I don't talk out loud, heh. Then I might look crazy, God-forbid. Damn! I forgot to tell Shannon something else! But that's ok, everyone can know: I got an incredibly cool polo shirt at Goodwill today, it's a couple shades of brown/beige, and it looks really good w/ the nice brown old man trousers I got (they came w/ a free matching handkerchief, ain't is grand?). So yeah, I rokk more than you. Minicow=burger.<p>

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11-17-00<br>
Have you seen my brain recently?</b><p>

"Oh, Shelby, you never update, blah blah blah, I want to know more about your day to day life, come on, tellll me!!!" That's what my friends would say. If I had any. Which I don't, so whatever (except for laura. I love Laura. And CA people don't count, cuz I'm mad at them, cuz they never hug me. And Ryan never talks dans le tlphone, cuz he's a dumb (sexy) boy. I mean, I like him for his personality.) Well, I'm going out tonight, in an hour actually. Side note: Instead of "going out" I typed "hoing out" which puts a whole new spin on it. Suuure it does. Anywho.... be happy for me! Deftones & Icubus are gonna be in town Dec. 7th, and Orgy will be here the 11th (for only $16, how incredible is that?) I found this out on the <a href="http://www.1057thepoint.com">Point</a> website. Yay! OK, I should go get ready & make myslef pretty (come on, we all know I'm going to sit around watching TV and talking to Dad until Jamie honks her horn.) Love you muchly, deeply, and hardly (heh heh.)<p>

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11-12-00<br>
The world is my potato(e)</b><p>

I think I can control the universe with my mind. Well, parts of it, anyway. I read waaaay too much. I'm rereading Christopher Pike's "Remember Me" trilogy, and trying to think of the last time I wept. I don't know if I ever have. People in books weep all the time. I'm listening to Good Charlotte right now, "Little Things", cuz it's a good song. That and Marilyn Manson, "Coma Black". Last night, Shannon called me, out o' the wild friggin blue, so I peed my pants (peed. it sounds so much dirtier than pissed) out of sheer glee, and we talked, and then, an hour later, Krysten called! She hadn't preplanned it with Shannon or anything. The world is a funny, funny little place. Am I just out of touch? Do we know who won the election yet? Will we know tomorrow? Will it matter? Should I move to Afghanistan? Lovely word, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Uzbekistan, Kashakistan, Iranistan, cantspellistan. I saw American Psycho avec Ryan et Laura last night, we stayed at my house and rented movies and ordered pizza. Sometimes life is just nice. Then we took Ryan home & me and Laura watched "The Minus Man", except she left before it was over, then I finished it and read all the little stuff about infamous serial killers ('cause it was on DVD and had Special Features), and unwisely chose that moment to fall asleep on the couch. Do you understand how nice it was to spend that time with Ryan and Laura and Kellen? (Kellen being my lil brother, if there's anyone who didn't know that). I doubt you do, but it was. And I talked to Caitlin as well, because she was at Krysten's, and I'm going to call Yayson tomorrow. We should all gang up on Shannon and convince her to come here for Christmas, it would make me so terribly happy. School is so hateful, what an awful thing to lock our children in for so long, why do we do it? My mind is a bit funny at the moment if you'll excuse me. Laura spent the whole day yesterday with me. Why is it supposed to be so inappropriate to tell people how you feel about them? I love Laura to death, and Ryan too. I wonder if they know how much they mean to me? I wonder if anyone does. I think I'll put up posters proclaiming my love for people who have gotten it, because oh yes, isn't my love a wonderful thing to have, simply the best. Hmm, maybe I'm a tad bit deluded. Terrible fate, I'm sure. Must be off, then, hoomework and dinner and more reading and insanity beckon ever so close. <p>

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11-7-00<br>
Please don't let Bush win...</b><p>

Please don't let Bush win. Please don't let Bush win. <br>Please don't let Bush win. Please don't let Bush win. <br>Please don't let Bush win. Please don't let Bush win.<br> Please don't let Bush win. Please don't let Bush win.<br> Man, if that idiot wins, i'm gonna have to kill myself. Anyway, I'm bored, and hell, maybe I'll kill myself anyway. Where the hell are Shannon et Yayson when you need them? Off playing in their "sun" and "dryness", I suppose. Colleen et Caitlin et Krysten are prolly doing the same thing, bastards. Je n'ai pas un nouveau copain, & it's my fault. Grr, Laura is getting out of high school forever in just 23 days, and thats sooooo not even close to fair. She gets to graduate early, why can't I? Ok, so in my case it'd be about 2 1/2 years early, but whats yer point? I'm spending the rest of the week at my mom's house cuz my dad is on TDY, and please dear lord let there be some redeeming value about this weekend, something good, cuz if there isn't... well, that would suck ass in lots of special little ways that no one likes, now do they? <br>Please don't let Bush win. Please don't let Bush win. <br>Please don't let Bush win. Please don't let Bush win. <br>Please don't let Bush win. Please don't let Bush win.<br> Please don't let Bush win. Please don't let Bush win.<p>

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11-6-00<br>
Off to another day of academic fulfillment</b><p>

OK, it's 7:19 am, and I have to leave for school at 7:43, but that's ok, cuz this is the fourth bloody time I've tried to update. And yeah, that tiny lil bit was all I got to yesterday. My weekend was nice, Ryan spent the nite on Friday, which meant I didn't have to be alone all night! Raise your hands and clap for jesus! As it turns out, though, he only loves me for my dog. I saw "The Hurricane" (you know, Denzel Washington, prize fighter wrongly imprisoned) on Saturday, and that was really good. There were shortages of both Brandon and Laura almost all weekend, though, which was really quite sad. I did, however, get to go to Borders with Brandon et Jason et their dad. Yay for that! Damn, what else was I going to say? I hate school so much. Now, not only do I have to go to school, but it's raining and I don't have an umbrella, so I get to spend 15 minutes being rained on in my struggle to get there. I strongly believe in the power of daily affirmations, though. Here are some of mine: <br>
*I will <i>not</i> go on a killing spree.<br>
*Not even if someone pisses me off.<br>
*Yeah, right, "if". <br>
*These useless piles of monkey crap around me must have <i>some</i> redeeming value. <br>
*Less that 3 years til I'm out. Not even 3 years.<br>
*One day, I'll be dead.<br>
Phew, I feel soooo much better now. Don't you? As it turns out, I used to be really, incredibly, stunningly funny. I have proof. Don't believe me? Well, I wasn't funnny around you. I didn't like you. So I spent most of my time yesterday sending shannon old mail to prove to her how funny I used to be. It was great. Well, I have to go soon, and the rain isn't letting up, so I have a decision to make: go to school or "accidentally" fall down the stairs and get out of it for a little while? <p>

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11-5-00<br>
People suck </b><p>

Why do people suck? They should really make an effort to stop doing that so much.<p>
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11-2-00<br>
I did something good! (for once)</b><p>

Holy mother, how cool am I? I already have a whole new page for November, and instead of waiting for the month to be over, I did it on the second bloody day! It's bloody grate! Actually, I have to leave for school in like 15 minutes, but that's cool, I can devote some of my happy time to the world. Oh, did I say happy? I think I meant <b>crappy</b> cuz hot damn, my night sukked. But they rhyme, right? Yeah, that's the important thing. I'm staying at dad's house tonight, so I should be able to write more, but for the time being, suffice it to say that grrrr. Oh, but I might, I repeat <i>might</i> get to go to Brandon's house tonight, which would be nice. <tt>LATER</tt> Holy mother, what an incredibly crappy day! Mrs. Pilackas moved me across the room from Ryan & Laura, & she was basically making an example of me, because everyone talks, it's the noisest class ever. But has she ever moved Brandon, or Karen, or anyone like that? Noooo! That would be awful! I alwys try to speak in French, and I participate, and get a good grade in her class, and she was one of my favorite teachers, goddamnit. I'm seriously like about to cry, cuz you know, I'm not exactly all filled with friends, so now I have a little joy in a world that generally sukks my ass, and no, I have to move across the class from them, so now I'm surrounded by people who hate me because I "dress funny and talk about girls too much", and FUCK! It sucks, and now that means I hate 1st per, hate 2nd per and am about to get kicked out of it, just finished the only decent unit in 3rd per so I can resume hating it, 4th per is pretty cool, 5th per is fun, and 6th per makes me want to slit my wrists after everything else that's happened all day. Alright, now that I've bitched, all my bad feelings can be put away inside o' me... yeah, thats healthy. I did get to go to Brandon's house, which was nice, but I was in just a BIT of a bad mood, so I prolly spoiled it for him, crap. I should go now... peace.<p>



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