Wednesday, September 19, 2001
location:
auckland
 |
tuesday, september 18 |
|
|
||
16:08 [*]
I must be psychic. Barely a month later, look at the shit that's about to go down.
12:04 [*]
You know that old saying, "It's better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt"?... I'm wondering if this website thing is a good idea after all.
11:55 [*]
|
monday, september 17 |
|
|
||
You have nothing to lose but your jobs...
In other news... are all Aussies militant wankers, or is it just the assholes who work (worked) for Ansett Australia? What do you folks think- is it any accident that you always find the hardcore lefties in companies and industries about to go belly-up? Yelling about the (ahem) rights of the decent working Australian- as if they'd give a shit if their own jobs weren't on the line. The expression "no such thing as an athiest in a foxhole" springs to mind.
In typical socialist "never let the facts stand in the way of a good political tirade" fashion, they're screaming on like Air NZ deliberately ran Ansett into the ground. Riiight... Nice way of avoiding The Awful Truth: Ansett had been losing money hand over fist for a long time (whose fault is that, comrades?). That's how Air NZ was able to step in. They bought it cheap, hoping to turn it around. Ansett was a dead dog and it went under anyway- but not before sucking 1.5 Billion dollars out of Air NZ and almost forcing it into receivership. Reminds me of those stories of lifeguards arriving on the scene, trying to rescue a drowning swimmer and almost getting dragged under by the poor bastard's death throes. The only mistake Air NZ made was getting involved in the first place.
Fuck, I hate lefties.
In other news... are all Aussies militant wankers, or is it just the assholes who work (worked) for Ansett Australia? What do you folks think- is it any accident that you always find the hardcore lefties in companies and industries about to go belly-up? Yelling about the (ahem) rights of the decent working Australian- as if they'd give a shit if their own jobs weren't on the line. The expression "no such thing as an athiest in a foxhole" springs to mind.
In typical socialist "never let the facts stand in the way of a good political tirade" fashion, they're screaming on like Air NZ deliberately ran Ansett into the ground. Riiight... Nice way of avoiding The Awful Truth: Ansett had been losing money hand over fist for a long time (whose fault is that, comrades?). That's how Air NZ was able to step in. They bought it cheap, hoping to turn it around. Ansett was a dead dog and it went under anyway- but not before sucking 1.5 Billion dollars out of Air NZ and almost forcing it into receivership. Reminds me of those stories of lifeguards arriving on the scene, trying to rescue a drowning swimmer and almost getting dragged under by the poor bastard's death throes. The only mistake Air NZ made was getting involved in the first place.
Fuck, I hate lefties.
16:36 [*]
I've got this mental image in my head... not quite sure what to make of it: That one where Bugs Bunny hands the ticking parcel to Elmer Fudd and ducks behind a tree with his fingers in his ears.
Anyone care to interpret?
Anyone care to interpret?
15:47 [*]
|
friday, september 14 |
|
|
||
What sort of idiot becomes a suicide bomber anyway?
"Nobody ever won a war by dying for his country. You win a war by making the other sonofabitch die for HIS country."
- General George S. Patton
"Nobody ever won a war by dying for his country. You win a war by making the other sonofabitch die for HIS country."
- General George S. Patton
15:08 [*]
Good morning, Angels...
Well, here I still am in Auckland. I suppose I should just be grateful to be anywhere at all. I'd been hoping that international flights into the US would resume in time to make it to the wedding, but alas it looks like it's going to be a long while yet. I read on abcnews.com that they just arrested a whole buncha people trying to board flights this morning carrying knives, false ID, and various documents from a flying school in Florida linked to the earlier suicide attacks. WTF? Resilient as New Yorkers are, I don't think they're ready for Round Two just yet.
Well, here I still am in Auckland. I suppose I should just be grateful to be anywhere at all. I'd been hoping that international flights into the US would resume in time to make it to the wedding, but alas it looks like it's going to be a long while yet. I read on abcnews.com that they just arrested a whole buncha people trying to board flights this morning carrying knives, false ID, and various documents from a flying school in Florida linked to the earlier suicide attacks. WTF? Resilient as New Yorkers are, I don't think they're ready for Round Two just yet.
14:00 [*]
|
thursday, september 13 |
|
|
||
REALLY poor taste, but...
Q: Why are police and firemen called New York's finest?
A: Because you can run ashes through a sieve.
Q: Why are police and firemen called New York's finest?
A: Because you can run ashes through a sieve.
15:18 [*]
13:02 [*]
Ho-lee Shit!!!!!
Guess who spoke to soon?
Still stuck here in Auckland, thanks to the now infamous NYC Air Show. I knew I should have left a couple days earlier; I could be sunning it up in sunny california right now- and best of all, my travel insurance would be paying for a few extra nights.
At least I already had arranged to take yesterday off work- so I managed to spend most of the day perched in front of the tv enjoying some truely righteous disaster footage.
Am I the only person in the world who doesn't carry around a handycam?
Guess who spoke to soon?Still stuck here in Auckland, thanks to the now infamous NYC Air Show. I knew I should have left a couple days earlier; I could be sunning it up in sunny california right now- and best of all, my travel insurance would be paying for a few extra nights.
At least I already had arranged to take yesterday off work- so I managed to spend most of the day perched in front of the tv enjoying some truely righteous disaster footage.
Am I the only person in the world who doesn't carry around a handycam?
12:00 [*]
|
tuesday, september 11 |
|
|
||
The Fonz is gay
The Fonz is gay. Honestly the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. Let's go through a few observations...
1. The Fonz is a guy in his early thirties who seems to thrive on spending most of his time hanging out in a local milkbar with teenage boys.
2. The Fonz plays softball.
3. He hangs out a whole lot in the toilets at the milkbar, and refers to the 'scene' as his 'office'.
4. He's heavily into leather.
5. His leather habit is reminiscent of Al Pacino in 'Cruising'.
6. He never has a regular woman (until the later series where a clear re-write takes place).
7. The Fonz makes a habit of telling people to 'Sit on it!'.
8. The Fonz is thin, clean-shaven, pretty and very neat.
9. Fonzie, although claiming to be a big-time biker, doesn't seem to have any tough-guy biker friends.
10. The Fonz loves to dance, does so very well and generally minces about like a big drama queen.
It all makes sense now doesn't it? But the mysetery remains. What's the connection with Charles "Chachi" Arcola? What's so big about Big Al?
The tension continues...
The Fonz is gay. Honestly the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. Let's go through a few observations...
1. The Fonz is a guy in his early thirties who seems to thrive on spending most of his time hanging out in a local milkbar with teenage boys.
2. The Fonz plays softball.
3. He hangs out a whole lot in the toilets at the milkbar, and refers to the 'scene' as his 'office'.
4. He's heavily into leather.
5. His leather habit is reminiscent of Al Pacino in 'Cruising'.
6. He never has a regular woman (until the later series where a clear re-write takes place).
7. The Fonz makes a habit of telling people to 'Sit on it!'.
8. The Fonz is thin, clean-shaven, pretty and very neat.
9. Fonzie, although claiming to be a big-time biker, doesn't seem to have any tough-guy biker friends.
10. The Fonz loves to dance, does so very well and generally minces about like a big drama queen.
It all makes sense now doesn't it? But the mysetery remains. What's the connection with Charles "Chachi" Arcola? What's so big about Big Al?
The tension continues...
16:59 [*]
Ta ta, chimps...
Not like you'd notice, since I've been somewhat of a slack bastard with my postings here over the last few weeks, but I'm going to be gone until next Thursday. Heading to the US for a family shindig...
If there are any customs or DEA officials reading this, my brother will have a pound of Black Tar heroin hidden deep inside his rectum. I'd say a thorough search is in order, wouldn't you? Only thing is, you'll either have to buy him dinner first, or stay and cuddle afterwards (see below). You decide.
Not like you'd notice, since I've been somewhat of a slack bastard with my postings here over the last few weeks, but I'm going to be gone until next Thursday. Heading to the US for a family shindig...
If there are any customs or DEA officials reading this, my brother will have a pound of Black Tar heroin hidden deep inside his rectum. I'd say a thorough search is in order, wouldn't you? Only thing is, you'll either have to buy him dinner first, or stay and cuddle afterwards (see below). You decide.
10:38 [*]
Beware the Red Rocket
"When I was at college, I never thought I'd end up affording an orang-utang personal relief by hand every morning." Mohd Binatang told reporters as they followed him on his daily rounds at the Singapore Zoological gardens. "And Ah Meng is the worst. He expects to be kissed on the neck first".
In between visits to the various cages, the curator of the zoo's sperm bank explains how he conducts his unusual profession. "We start so early in the morning because a lot of the animals have a 'morning glory' when they wake up, and it's easier to collect the sperm then. Each animal is different. The polar bears finish rather quickly, because they're not used to my warm hands on their cold organs. The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is the most 'teruk' of all, because of the sheer size of the thing. Sometimes I have to use both my arms to tug on it. I feel like a bell ringer in a cathedral, like that Quasimodo or something, except it all ends in a snow scene."
After rubbing massage oil into his rubber gloves, Binatang briefly disappeared into the orang-utang enclosure, where the resident was lying expectantly on his back, sporting a huge erection. When he emerged, he confessed that, "as you might expect, this job is really ruining my sex life. These ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind".
Lai Jee Seow of Wildlife Reserves Singapore also acknowledged that changed need to be made to the zoo's semen collection procedures. "It's because the animals have gotten used to Binatang coming over every morning to help them. Many of them now can't be bothered to engage in real sex".
Shamelessly stolen from The straights Times 28/5/01.
"When I was at college, I never thought I'd end up affording an orang-utang personal relief by hand every morning." Mohd Binatang told reporters as they followed him on his daily rounds at the Singapore Zoological gardens. "And Ah Meng is the worst. He expects to be kissed on the neck first".
In between visits to the various cages, the curator of the zoo's sperm bank explains how he conducts his unusual profession. "We start so early in the morning because a lot of the animals have a 'morning glory' when they wake up, and it's easier to collect the sperm then. Each animal is different. The polar bears finish rather quickly, because they're not used to my warm hands on their cold organs. The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is the most 'teruk' of all, because of the sheer size of the thing. Sometimes I have to use both my arms to tug on it. I feel like a bell ringer in a cathedral, like that Quasimodo or something, except it all ends in a snow scene."
After rubbing massage oil into his rubber gloves, Binatang briefly disappeared into the orang-utang enclosure, where the resident was lying expectantly on his back, sporting a huge erection. When he emerged, he confessed that, "as you might expect, this job is really ruining my sex life. These ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind".
Lai Jee Seow of Wildlife Reserves Singapore also acknowledged that changed need to be made to the zoo's semen collection procedures. "It's because the animals have gotten used to Binatang coming over every morning to help them. Many of them now can't be bothered to engage in real sex".
Shamelessly stolen from The straights Times 28/5/01.