Oh Lord, take me now...I'm so fucking close to snapping (like a twig) right now...but hey, who the fuck wants to hear about that? Nobody in their right mind, that's who, and people not in their right mind are too busy eating cockroaches and boring people to death by showing their paintings in public...good grief, I can't even fucking tell what the hell I'm talking about any more, let's start again.

I refuse to disgrace this fine column by talking about my spirit-crushing, hope-destroying and self-worth-mutilating day job. So stop asking me.

Commodore 64. Now that's something I'll gladly fill hard drives with by talking about. The Zzap! 64 #107 project has rekindled my passion for c64 gaming to nuclear levels, giving further proof to the theory that nothing, nothing rocks as fucking hard as 8-bit. It's gotten to the point where I'm daydreaming about c64 at work when I'm feeling low (so that'll be from 9 thru to 5, then)...hey, no talking about work. Ahem.

Tonight's plan to get a round or eight with some fine c64 shooters - Mega Apocalypse, Sheep In Space, Gridrunner, Retrograde, Wizball (had a rather trippy 'Wizball 3D' dream last night that would make a neat and easy to make 3D Studio Max animation...hmm...), Armalyte et al - has been circumvented by an unplanned car babysitting session for an hour or so. So here I am in Sabb's car with a bottle of coke, the radio turned up way too high (not too bad tonight - ThGaTi pinup girl Sarah McLeod currently filling the ears) and my ol' travelling companion Cassiopia, while a fiendishly bright spotlight burns into the retinas. Someone turn that damn thing off! I'm trying to vent here.

Ha, some game reviewer is on the radio extolling the virtues of International League Soccer. Among the virtues are a "new and original" one-button control system, gee you fucking braniac, ever hear of Pele's Soccer on Atari 2600? MICROPROSE SOCCER ON THE COMMODORE 64?! A little known game called Kick Off on the Amiga?!

Christ, the state of mainstream games journalism in this fucking country...doesn't help that I'm ghost-writing a big chunk of it. Thank God for Pocket Games #7 and Zzap! 64 #107 to remind me that I can write something that isn't abject garbage about 'product'.

Which reminds me - PG7 deadline is in three days. Better get my groove on...
posted by Gaz Unta at 9:18:42 PM

Holy fucking shit, has it been a while. So loaded with things I gotta be doing but hey, let's see if I can't catch you all up with what's been going on around here.

Work continues to not only suck, but suck ass. Thankfully for you and I it doesn't pay anywhere near enough to make it even remotely worthwhile talking about, so let's just leave it at that. All that's important is that it pays the bills and allows me to work on projects that don't have a hope in hell of making any money anyway.

Pocket Games #7 is one of those projects, considering that C|Net's accounting system is about as reliable as a Catholic-sponsored birth control kit. My Pocket Games #6 check is probably lying in the dead letter office of Austria or some shit. I'm carving out a pretty respectable chunk out of the latest issue - with the highlight clearly being the two-page-spread Mario Kart Super Circuit review. That was a lot of fun to put together, lemme tell ya. 5 more reviews to go before deadline on the 7th of this month, a date that is looming closer even as I type this screed. Dan kept good on his promise and there's no Army Men reviews for me this time around. Bless 'im.

Most of my free PC time is currently spent on the Zzap! 64 #107 project. For those not in the know, Zzap! 64 was at it's peak (during the mid-to-late-eighties) the world's most popular Commodore 64 magazine. It ran from May 1985 to March 1994, covering the world of the greatest gaming machine ever made for 106 issues. A pretty impressive track run that hasn't been duplicated since - will Official PlayStation Mag make it to eight years? Doubtful but hey, who knows. Anyway, I drank one too many cough syrups one day and asked on the Zzap! 64 site if anyone would be interested in doing a new issue. Before you can say "Gazunta really needs to floss" I had no less than 20-odd people volunteering to help in various capacities, including three former Zzap! 64 staff members (!) who are lending a hand. So for the past two weeks I've been trying to corrall all these people together and work out a battleplan for the Jan / Feb 2002 launch. As it stands now it's going to be a 32-page issue, with reviews of 7 new C64 games (yes, they're still being made - and damn impressive, too), a big bag of features (covering stuff like C64 music dance parties, super C64's wth hardware expansions and other wacky topics) and the classic Zzap! 64 feel that made it so great in the first place. I tell you what, it's a lot harder than it looks. Today I sent off the final list of games to cover to the review team (a couple of platform games, a fighter, a shoot 'em up and a first person shooter - yes a first person shooter - and a 7 disk RPG) so I can take a few days off from it to concentrate on finishing Pocket Games #7 in time.

Oh, I forgot to mention - One of the good things (scratch that - the only good thing) about my 9-5 job is being sent on trips. Those beloved people at Ozisoft are sending me to Melbourne for the Lotus Challenge in a few weeks, which is guaranteed to be fun. FUN! Bwahaha, those daffy bastards. I should ask them for some Dreamcast memory cards because I need them for Sonic Adventure 2. Ho ho.

So, it's father's day today. I was thinking if I had kids (which I don't, at least that I'm aware of - ho ho), what movies would I show them? The holy trilogy, of course - but the special edition or originals? At first I thought, no brainer, Special Editions. Neat sound effects and all sorts of goodness. However, something irked me about that. After a while staring into space like the big fat idiot that I am, I realised: Greedo shot first in the Special Edition. This is, as we all know, complete fucking bullshit. Han shot first but those fucking pussies at Lucasfilm changed it for the SE. The scary thought is: when the DVDs come out, only the Special Edition will be preserved for future generations. The TRUE events of the fucked up bar will fade away with crumbling VHS tape as time goes on. This is tragic. I propose that someone give me money to set up www.hanshotfirst.com where I can continually show the film clip and educate the youngsters of the future. Imagine growing up thinking that Greedo shot first. Shudder.

Speaking of money, I'm really impressed that everyone chipped in and gave The Gaming Intelligence Agency the $10k they needed to get back on their feet. That's really damn impressive. Well done lads, glad to see you're loved.

Quick round up of Poster Commence and then I'm outta here - Mister J: if I had the time to get out of the house, let alone go to the comic shop, you bet yer hairy ass I'll pick up that Bizarro book. That sounds too damn sweet. It's a shame we're the only people that care, but we're too classy for the plebians! Grey: Still haven't tracked down Spiderman yet, and hopefully won't have to because...Colin: anytime you want, come on down :)

OK, that's pretty much it. England beat the Krauts 5-1 so all is right with the world.
posted by Gaz Unta at 8:36:36 PM

Tick tick tick...time is ticking so I better get some High Quality Content up here on this ol' site...um. Uh. Hey, have I mentioned that work sucks? Oh, yeah, I have. Oh yeah, people have asked for details on what it is exactly I do now, but let's just say it's the journalistic equivilent of being a session musician for a band you've never heard of and wouldn't listen to anyway. Wow, that's a pretty good metaphor there. The important thing is that it doesn't pay enough to make it worth my while to even think about outside of the office, let alone clutter dgmfs with it...

I totally forgot to mention that I was appraoched to go to my high school reuinion lately. Seeing as I don't even remember going to high school (I recall a hell of a lot of Commodore 64 and hanging out at my comic shop, though), I can't say I'm too enthused about it. Hell, Pyxii doesn't even plan on going and he attended it all. Savage Garden (fellow alumni) may or not be playing, which is a scary thought.

A reuinion I am EXTREMELY interested in would be a possible Zzap! 64 reunion. Remember that Yeah! 64 Commodore 64 fanzine I was trying to get off the ground a while back? Well, the idea has evolved into a new issue of the legendary (and, for me, life changing) Zzap! 64 magazine, featuring all the old staff members getting back together for one last issue. If you know where I can contact ex-Zzap! 64 members, email me. Now. I'll keep you all updated here. Wish me luck. As Big Kev would say: "I'M EXCITED!"

Thanks to everyone who has been leaving messages via the Post A Message system. Good stuff :) Miss Smarty Bottom, no I will not buy you an Archie comic. Did you know that the creator of Sabrina The Teenage Witch hasn't recieved a cent from the TV show, and Archie Comics fired him when he wanted some cash? Mister J, you devil you, thanks for reminding me that the store probably hasn't reserved my Dork for me...again.

CHASING AMY R4 COMES OUT TOMMOROW!!!!! So you're guaranteed a minimal update to gazunta.com for a while. hankfully I've found a pile of my old Hotgames work online, so it's links-aplenty for everyone while I watch the movie again and again and again. Let's hope it's worthy. Jay And Silent Bob got pushed forward to a November 15 release - 1 week before my birthday, not after, which is good but still not perfect :)

Burning way too many DC games of late. It's gotten to the point where I'll burn anything right now if I find a complete copy, no matter if I'm actually interested in the damn thing or not. Still need Spiderman and Puyo Puyo to make me really happy, though. Hmm, in fact, I feel like spending the rest of my spare time tonight playing some of the damn things.
posted by Gaz Unta at 9:46:49 PM

What an absolutely shit day at work. The first thing I had hit me when I walked in were furious emails from some backwater hick companies I had to do some advertorial pieces about, complaining that I got an apostophe wrong (or some other fucking bullshit). They wanted written apologies and all sorts of shit that basically got my boss incredibly pissed at me, so the morning was spent re-writing their boring press releases ("Lite Ecco Dolphin Lights save 100% of your power bill by turning off your lights at the wall, you dumb fucking savages"). THEN I get the news that the company is not planning on sending me to E3 2002 after all.

Consequently I did absolutely no work for the rest of the day. Thanks to Nintendo, Mario Kart Super Circuit arrived and it was fucking awesome. Now I really really really want a GBA. The feel of the SNES game has been preserved perfectly...even down to the flying fish at the awards ceremony. And you know what, fuck it, I'll go to E3 on my own dime anyway. Fucking (as Mister J so eloquently put it) soul destroying full time job. Feel free to donate cash to the "Send Gazunta to get fucking wasted in Los Angeles" fund.

ANYWAY - it's the weekend. I plan on relaxing. That's the plan, at any rate. Wouldn't mind hitting the comic shop at some point, but don't rate my chances...
posted by Gaz Unta at 6:13:10 PM

Uh...ok. I really, really, really should be using this time to catch up on email but I spent the last hour doing site related activity so what the hell. Just a quick update and then I'll hit the email. I promise.

Shit day at work. Hacked out a really horrid Mario Party 3 review that was completely disproportionate to the amount of fun I had with the game. The rest of the day was spent reviewing a mouse that doubles as a printer. God damn you, Hadley. Damn you to hell.

However! Upon arriving at home (finally - there was another Tai Kwon Do lesson in between) I got a nice package from regular ThGaTi contributor Anthony P, being of a limited edition Kevin Smith DVD box. It looks fucking fantastic and I can't wait to fill it up. Thanks, Par, you gave my day a much needed somthing to smile about.

Speaking of which, I forgot to mention that there is already a R4 Kevin Smith DVD - Dogma. I completely forgot about it since I'm waiting to get the SE. Chasing Amy may or may not actually be released, nobody knows for sure either way and there's certainly no details about what's on the damn disc.

Uh. I get the day off work tommorow, which is excellent. Definitely update more and catch up on the emails, you betcha. HUGE thanks to everyone who has been posting comments, that really is excelelnt and makes me smile. Smiles are good.
posted by Gaz Unta at 12:47:36 AM

Blah. I can barely even get ten fucking minutes spare to update my fucking site. All I wanna do is update my fucking site, is that too much to ask?! OK. Anyway. I'll catch you up on items of note in the last few days.

First of all is the Reblogger / Post A Comment system that has been freshly installed. Anyone (that means YOU) can leave a short (or long, it's up to you) message after each one of my pithy DGMFS posts, which are then available to read (and respond to) by myself or any other DGMFS reader. It's basically a good way to leave me a message (without risking it being lost in the depths of email hell) and get involved in some sort of Gazunta community. Please, for the love of Big Kev's cleaning products, check it out. Go on, click on the Post A Comment link below. You'll be glad you did.

Oh, Ravi - the system is called Reblogger and it's a billion times better than Blogvoices (especially since it has comment counts, which BV removed). Remind me to help set it up for ya.

Chasing Amy gets released on Region 4 DVD on August 20!!! Go on, do yourself a favour - send me money so I can buy it. Or, alternatively, buy a billion copies of it and encourage the powers that be that releasing Kevin Smith DVDs in Australia is a very very good idea. Chasing Amy is the first of his to get released here, and I can't wait. Don't anyone call me on the night of the 20th :)

Finally got ADSL set up on Sabb's iBook, which is fucking great. Huge thanks to Paul S for help getting the equipment and setting it all up, not to mention his patient (and especially chirpy) girlfriend Lyndal who waited on my couch for hours on end during the process. She has great taste in music (Clouds AND...Kellie Lloyd! KELLIE FREAKIN' LLOYD! Good GOD!) so that gets her extra points. Extra thanks to Sabb for being so freakin' patient (It's been...what, a month since install?), too.

Work itself isn't so bad, to be honest. What shits me about the deal is the rigid routine it enforces on one's life. I have to be up at a certain time, which prevents me from staying up late the previous evening updating the site or doing other creative things. 8 hours later I get home and do the dinner / unwind / pre-organized extra-curricular activity ritual, so by the time THAT's finished I really have no energy / motivation to do anything besides sleep. OK, so that leaves weekends, right? Well...not really, since that's full of things that I would normally do during the week. So clearly, the only logical answer is to either get a lobotomy (that way I wouldn't be so annoying CREATIVE, and wouldn't have these urges to do things that make me happy!) or learn to live on 2 hours sleep a day.

Sigh.

It was Pyxii's birthday on Friday, and it was good to give him a hug. It was Holly's birthday on Saturday, but I didn't get to give her a hug though I'll gladly do so at any time the opportunity presents itself. Hi Holly, if you're watching. Leave a damn comment so I know you're there!

Mario Party 3 is incredibly good. I highly recommend it to people that have friends. Sabb and I have been enjoying it quite a bit. I've also got a copy of Anachronox, though I haven't even opened it yet. Should I do so? Is it worthy?

I'm not sure I've mentioned this before, but I've decided what my next 3D Studio Max project will be. After seeing Final Fantasy, it is clear that THE HUNT FOR HADLEY 5 will be all CGI. It's going to completely revolutionise the way you think about 3D art. I'm ready to push the enevelope on realism and special effects in many ways. Bet you can't wait for that one.

Well...better fly. Hopefully I'll be able to catch up on email sometime soon...sigh...
posted by Gaz Unta at 6:22:35 PM

I'm alright if you're OK... Hey Christ, here I am halfway through the first week of work and I already feel like I'm 0. I mean, what the fuck is all that about? Is it time for my mid-life crisis yet? Someone get me a Ferrari and put Alyson Hannigan on the phone. Wait a minute, I fucking hate the phone, so have her delivered.

Huge big Gazunta-belly thanks to everyone who sent conratulatory emails / IRC messages / dog turds, by the way Much appreciated. For the people who asked - I'm now full time at the place I've been freelancing at for the last few months (let's call 'em Where Is Dream, Inc., for those who get the joke). Basically my time is spent playing Bomberman Tournament on the Game Boy Advance (sadly not mine) and breaking computers. What the life I have!

Dunno if it's the new routine or not but free time has more or less completely been eradicated. Get up at some unGodly hour, rush out the door, go to work, stare at a monitor for 8 hours (no break), rush home, dinner, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. Can't watch TV, can't check my email, can't IRC, can't hang out with Sabb let alone anyone else...

Well, let’s move on to some good news…or let’s pleasant information, if you’re so inclined…wow, does it feel nice to use a word with a friggin’ apostrophe in it…um, where was I. Oh! I got a new (well, new to me) Commodore 64 in the mail today (bringing my total to 3), along with a hefty bag’s worth of games. If that isn’t pure fucking bliss I don’t know what is. Among the highlights: original copies of Paradroid (!), Impossible Mission (I finally have an instruction manual for that bloody thing), Last Ninja, (another) copy of International Soccer, The Quest For The Holy Grail, Space Harrier II (technically closer to the arcade than the first game, though I still like the former better), Target Renegade, Contra, Combat School…tons and tons of stuff. Even got one of those poxy music keyboards…can’t wait to clear off all the crap on this PC desk and make some room for a dedicated C64 set up…that would satiate me quite well. Here’s hoping, anyways.

Fuck all this hi tech gaming nonsense. All I really want to do is play c64 games all day long.

Guess I should catch up with the email…Sabb is just about to finish Sonic Adventure 2’s Dark mode, so I have to ignore that as best as possible. Now if only I can convince her to put some Mayhem in her life…
posted by Gaz Unta at 9:46:56 PM

Figured I'd update since this is my last day before I start work and become a 9-5 office drone. It was nice knowing you all.

An hour ago I got this huge ass splinter in my right middle finger, which makes typing a bit of a pain. Nevertheless I struggle on for your benefit, because that's the kind of love I give.

Finished Sonic Adventure 2's hero stages. Yay me.

We were talking the other night about our dreams...what's yours?

	Sabb's dream is to get a shiny new car.
Anthony P's dream is to get his photo taken with every celebrity on the planet.
	Willow And Her Ugly Friends star Alyson Hannigan's dream is to stop getting weird, panting phone calls from Australia.

But I have no idea what the fuck mine is.

Does this mean I have nothing to live for? Or does this mean I just haven't found my next challenge?

Does this mean that I have already seen my dreams realised? Or does this mean that my previous dreams have been crushed entirely?

Please email suggestions.
posted by Gaz Unta at 4:31:56 PM

Uh...hi. You sure there's supposed to be a dgmfs update today?

Really? Um...hang on a sec.

(Flips through notes)

...must have lost that memo. Um, ok, sit dwn anyway and I'll see what I can dig up.

We're back on raverpants, thank Bert. As suspected, it was shut off because of excess bandwidth usage (NOT running out of space, John "my hard drive will stop working if I fill it up" R). Thankfully it wasn't my fault. We all have Slim to blame for that, but it's so hard being mad at him whe he's so darn cute and all. So we can all look forward to much more Hadley-related laughs in the future.

Oh! Have you noticed the "hey, editors!" thing on the left hand side of the page? It's good for a laugh, I tell's ya.

I am now a ninja. Well, something like that, anyway. The more realstic assesment of my Tai Kwon Do training is that I'm a big flabby gut with very sore appendages. The big plus point right now is that my trainer was The Pink Power Ranger. Good lord!

Sonic Adventure 2 progress report: I'm starting to get a mite ticked off with the damn thing, but I can't stop wanting to play the sucker. Just beat Dr. Eggman in Hero (I haven't screaamed "You fucking cuntrag" at a video game boss in years) and if I wasn't typing this I'd be playing through the (I think) final Sonic stage. The sacrifices I make for you undeserving bastards! Sabb's way ahead of me in the Dark department, though this weekend shall surely see that rectified. Unless I think of better things to do. Which I probably won't.

The big concensus on The Gazunta Poll is that I should get off my fat ass and get a job. What, nobody wants to see a new Commodore 64 fanzine?! No desire for Hadley 5: The Printer Strikes Back? You kids these days, I swear...I have no idea what the fuck's going on in that department. Poor Sabb, stuck with a bum...
posted by Gaz Unta at 3:41:46 PM

There's a dgmfs update on the palmtop that needs uploading and I don't want to get out of synch, but I gotta do a quick update.

I got a job.

Now back to playing Sonic Adventure 2.
posted by Gaz Unta at 12:49:25 AM