Yes, I still exist! Hmmm, Kate has passed me in number of posts, so now is the time for me to write some things again.
So now that I have become about as situated as I get in San Diego, I find myself looking back and thinking on whether or not it holds for me all that I want, expected, and need for it to hold for me. The answers to those questions are easy, but what it leaves me with is the harder part. It's not everything I expected it to be and everything I want it to be. I wanted and expected a better job. I got a piss poor job moving and stocking beer in juices in a beverages store. It's far from exciting and the refrigerator serves as easy access to colds as I've already proved! They pay shit and the opportunity for raises comes only in a form of $0.50 bi-yearly no matter whether or not you work your heart out or slack to the point where they won't quite fire you.
I had hoped that I could get a job working with and repairing computers at least eventually. That outlook doesn;t look good. My most hopeful opportunity to do so was to open up for myself and start my own computer repair business here doing service calls to people's homes. I know it works because I've done it. The question now that inhibits me is whether the economy will support what I want to do. I need the amount of luxury spending that was so strong before this whole terrorist ordeal. I know it won't be, but I hope that maybe computers are enough of a mainstream tool now to support my business idea.
So I hear from some friends that ask me why am I down here if I hate it so much. Well, I don't hate it. I love spending time here with my brothers and mother. Being with my mother holds a huge opportunity for me to get staged to move out on my own. Her willingness to help support me while I save for the things I need is helpful beyond words! I can save for a car, pay off my computer, save for a rental deposit, and save for emergency money when I'm on my own. The longer I spend here, the more people I meet, the more I find my place and where I am comfortable. I find more niches to enjoy myself in.
But it all leaves me with the question of, is there somewhere else that holds more opportunity for me where I will be happier? Am I just postponing moving out on my own because I am scared of taking the leap? I don't know. For now, I'll stay here where I know it is safe and I have more than enough alone time to really delve into myself and find what I need, what I want, who I am, and what I am going to do.

Her face hovered low over my neck. I could feel every one of her soft breaths. Her tongue stroked my neck slowly, then, suddenly, she pushed her face further into me and gripped my skin with her teeth. My head quickly tilted to give her better access as my back arched in sheer pleasure. My hands instinctively tightened thier grip on her back and pulled her against me harder. She began to suck, slowly at first, then harder in a pulsating rythm. Her teeth continued to tear into my neck...

Well... it's certainly been a long time since I've posted. Lots of things have happened since I came back to Scripps... sooo.... yeah... and stuff and things ( of course!). School's going well, though it's been rough at times, not to mention quite interesting... Take the sloth attack the past few days. Thursday I went to get my laundry out of the dryer and of course the laundry room floor was really really wet... guess what? I slipped on the last step coming back to my room and couldn't walk on Friday... my foot is quite multicolored right now, but it doesn't hurt much thankfully. :-) ( Crutches are evil by the way) Basically I spent Friday icing it and such.. Yesterday however I was planning on doing all my homework... ha..ha. ha... and HA! I hobbled my way to brunch and then went to the Motley and was doing math when i was throughly interrupted and dragged off to go shopping for a croquet set ( and other stuff, those being much less interesting except for stef and i buying a mixer, cuisinart, and bowls together) then came back... went to dinner... ugh... saturday night dinners on campus = ICKY.... and they ran out of food... so... we went and played croquet in the dark... then we went back to stef's room and pondered what to do... ( at this point "we" has varied from 4-7 people.) We ( 5) ended up going to ( Old Town) Pasadena... wandering around.. .getting Lebanonese food... window shopping some more and then going to the cheese cake factory.... then we came back here and watched Keeping the Faith (8 of us) and that was over around 3:30 am... and I spent most of today doing homework. I miss you guys! It's been slightly strange being away from home this past week, I hope you're all doing well. ::hugs and kisses::

Okay...I just got off the phone with Katie and apparently Joe is talking to Tara now... I'm very worried because it sounds like I may have said something I shouldn't have about Tara last night.... The reason I'm worried is because I was getting yelled at by Katie about something very similar...and I know I've gotten in trouble before for talking about things that I shouldn't have... It seems that one of the things Joe is talking to Tara about is a conversation I had with Josh last night... I don't think I was saying anything inappropriate or anything that was percieved as something that it wasn't...I know I joke about things that I shouldn't all the time...and often get yelled at because they are misinterpreted. I'm just really worried about what I might have said...and worried that Tara will be upset by it... She's become one of my best friends and it bothers me so much that she might be upset with me about something like this... Okay...I'm going to stop wasting your time about this...I'm just really scared right now and can't talk to her about it until tomorrow when I see her because she's on the phone with Joe now and by the time she's done with that conversation...it'll be too late to call her... ::sigh:: okay...like I said...I'm done...

Damn....So much has happened the past week or so....and then my dad wakes me up this morning with, "The country's under attack...planes were crashed into the world trade center towers and the pentagon...maybe you should come watch the news." That's not good....but what is there to say? Some terrorist group attacked...and now they'll be buried under bombs. It sucks....but there's nothing to do but deal with it and move on.

Ah well, back to my life. I spent Saturday and Sunday with Tara and Katie (I got to meet Tara's brothers saturday), and then did lots of nothing yesterday.

Saturday was lots of fun. Tara wanted me to come hang out with her family (which meant her, her brothers, and her mom) and I did. Her family is definately "tolerable" and stuff. We were over there for a number of hours and then Tara and I went over to Becky's house (Becky is Katie's older sister....Katie was babysitting Becky's kids with Tara and Joe). That was an intersting night....Katie and Joe didn't even know we were there until Joe wandered out of the bedroom for a drink. I just went ahead and crashed there that night.

Sunday was interesting...we all just hung out at Becky's for a while...then went to the mall and got some food, and I had to take Joe home. When I walked over to my car to leave..I found out that someone broke into my car the night before and they stole my stereo, a radar detector, and $3000 worth of CDs... ::sigh:: so now I'm dealing with that. Game was interestign that night with David and Tara...but I won't get into that. I spent sunday night at Tara's house cause I was too tired to drive home...::sigh::

Well...that's about it...I'm going to go do nothing now. ::grin::

Okay, I haven't posted in quite a while....so here goes. Sometimes I just feel like I can't say what's on my mind because I'm afraid I'll offend or hurt someone that reads this site. That said....I'll get on with the real part of the post.

Tuesday night I was planning on staying home because I hadn't done that in a long time...Well, Courtney called me on my way home and we started talking for a bit. She made plans with me to go into San Francisco, and we decided to meet up that night at Solano Mall. We had a long conversation about when we were dating and past times in general. It was pretty good to talk to her, and I'm glad I still have her as a good friend.

Yesterday I ended up becoming a contractor for one last job at Delaplaine Creative. The end of next week will be my last day. ::sigh:: But it also means I get to work my own schedule and can work from home if I want... ::shrug::

Okay...I'm done for now.

And now for a post completely lacking in innuendos. Summer's over for me. I'm leaving tomorrow morning for Scripps. Britt and Danika should be there already, hopefully not attacking my room the moment I get there, but they'll probably be in my bed before i get it made. In any case, I've got awhile before school actually starts, I'm back early because I'm working orientation and get to connect everyone to the school network... yay... ::cough cough:: It'll probably be a few days before i'm completely moved in and such, so call me if you need me. Love you all. Enjoy the beautiful area and grape harvest for me. I'll be back in October probably, and turkey day and christmas, but i'm sure i'll hear from all of you before then. If not... well... I'm not even going to finish that... you can guess what'll happen... sorry dustin it won't be fun.

just a quick note, thankx to dustin for babysitting me in my semi-conscious state and putting my pants back on before i woke up. feel free to stop by again and watch crazy marky mark and ass pecker while i have an ice pack plastered to my face to try and evade chipmunk syndrome. even if i wasn't awake, i thoroughly enjoyed your company and hope to see you again soon. p.s. removal of keys from pocket before adding tara is highly recommended.

well, i feel debatably better than i did yesterday, only time will tell. the good thing is i think i stopped bleeding so i don't need gauze-mouth but i still talk with a lisp. david is downstairs sleeping im barbie's bed after a hard day of tending to me, the darling. i guess katie's either to one extreem or another with her mommy because she didn't call me yet, so she's either in trouble or with joe's mommy last night. but dustin called, sorry i couldn't say anything, and i hope your sick day went well. and as for me, it's back to soft-scrambled eggs, cream of wheat, applesauce, and definitely only one hydrocodone from now on. to my fellow public, adew adew, parting in such painful sorrow of hard-food deprivation.

well, had my surgery today, and this will be a short entry because i feel slightly dizzy because i took 2 pain killers instead of one this time, and i'm begenning to think that it was a mistake because i can't hold my head up and my legs are once again like jell-o. well, i got to keep my teeth (they were perfectly good ones anyway. and now i get to be taken care of sort of willingly, and he has no idea how much i really appreciate it, and i'd write more but my hands are begenning to shake, so i'll write more later. goodnight.

So I went out with Courtney, Erica, and Matt last night for Courtney's birthday. It was fun, but dinner was damned expensive! Oh well, I didn't have to pay for it all. Courtney kept talking about her boyfriend and how wonderfull he is (If some of you are trying to read between the lines already...don't. You are wrong.). Then she mentioned how she stay at his house all the time. Well....on the way home after I dropped courtney off...I got to thinking. I have a bunch of friends, all of which are great people, and I have lots of fun with all of them. The problem is when I'm not with them. I mean, sure I have fun hanging out...but when the night's over and I go home....I go home alone. All off the sudden all the great friends I have don't matter as much because they aren't with me. Now, I'm with couples most of the time....so that probably has a lot to do with why I feel the way I do. I always see everyone so happy together, that I wish I could have the same thing. Damn...I don't have time to finish this now...I'll do it later.

Game was fun sunday night, but I'm going to start playing Aristotle again and drop my Lasombra... It's just more fun to play a Malkavian (and we're trying ot convince Tara to play one too). I think Joe was getting mad at me when we went to afters because his girlfriend and I kept flirting...oh well...no big deal (and Joe: Don't worry, I didn't go ALL the way up her pants.)

Last night was also interesting. We were playing our usual monday night game, and Christian, Jen, and Erica came by. Then they left to go cut Christian's hair...heh. I haven't seen it yet.

Tonight I'm supposed to see Kate, and I'm really looking forward to spending time with her.

Okay, back to work.

i really shouldn't be writing this at 2 am when i have to get up at 5 am, but i couldn't leave without saying goodbye to all my buds whom i will miss very VERY much, and hopefully i will be back in time for Game and hopefully salazar will be there so i can show off minnow, i can't wait to see the look on his face, why oh why didn't he show up last week? okay, i must sleep, don't miss me too much dustin, i will be back before you know it, hopefully i can finally meet kate and we'll do a double date or something. okay, i'm really going now, goodnight all, pray for boboo's safe return, i'll need it.