9.15.2001

Pictures from the 9/12/01 Ben Folds Show.
posted by lara 9/15/2001 10:13:52 PM

9.14.2001

oh, and by the way:

that Nostradamus quote is bunk. It wasn't him. It was writen in a paper to show how easy it is to create a Nostradamus-like prediction.

Article here.
Also, debunking some of the other hype: here.
posted by lara 9/14/2001 09:36:09 AM

we are in such a perilous position.

and i'm still so, so scared.

where can we go? what can we do? will we destroy ourselves?

i want to scream.
posted by lara 9/14/2001 09:30:49 AM

9.13.2001

but you also can't do that. you can't tell yourself every moment: "I'm alive."

I'm getting ready for work, trying on my new Ben Folds Shirt, and then I look down at my big pile of laundry.

"I don't want to do laundry."
"But I should be thankful I CAN do laundry."

Is this how people drive themselves mad? "I should be thankful I have clothes to wash. That the washing machines are free. That I have the time and energy."

Should I feel like I have to make excuses? Excuses that I'm alive, when so many people aren't?

I sit here for another minute, and have no answer.
posted by lara 9/13/2001 11:00:33 AM

so... i've been so wrapped up in all of this, the fact that I went to see Ben Folds last night seemed so surreal, so out of place. I completely forgot about it -- or, didn't forget, but didn't let the concert or the idea of the concert -- sink in until we were actually there. or even, until he came out on stage.

it was amazing. i can't finds words for much right now, but i can find words for this: it was fun, i was happy, there was singing, jumping, laughing, picture taking, i was with my best friend, seeing someone i'd wanted to see for years, pressed to the stage barricade, right up front, with him damn smack right in front of us, singing happy birthday to him, hearing songs I'd sang mostly alone for so long, wishing all that adrenaline could carry me through -- carry us all through -- once it was over.

i have tons of pictures I'm going to go through. Today I'm either sick or it's allergies, I got my period, and so I feel like crap. But in the past few days, you always have to punctuate it with this (or should we always?): but I'm alive.

the music filled me up inside, made me remember why life is good.

....i had a dream last night of one of the jumpers from the WTC. he fell from the top floor, he went down and down and down...

and he landed on his feet. with a cup of coffee in his hand.

and he walked away.
posted by lara 9/13/2001 10:08:43 AM

9.12.2001

i was wondering when they were going to find new footage -- images from behind, of the plane going directly into the building. images of the first impact, the first explosion.

this is our world, full of cameras, videocameras, microphones; so we can relive this moment again, and again, and again....

and then we can't stop hearing people scream.
posted by lara 9/12/2001 12:10:35 PM

the pictures are amazing. astounding. scary. i rubberneck at yahoo.com, I am oversaturated with the fireball of the second plane, the smoking hulks, the collapse.

The remains.

This is the city right now. Look at that. It's not even plausible. It's not real.

Here are some great amateur shots. Here is a great list of links. Here is a weather-radar image showing the coverage of smoke and dust in the area.

There's too many photographs. I'd post them all if I could.

Everyone is repeating that Nostradamus quote: "In the City of God there will be a great thunder, / Two brothers torn apart by Chaos, / while the fortress endures, / the great leader will succumb. / The third big war will begin when the big city is burning"

It seems silly to repeat such a thing; what am I giving into by repeating it?

I was agape when I first heard it, however. (I remember being a little kid and watching a Nostradamus special on television and getting so scared I cried myself to sleep for days.) And then this morning when I woke up, it hit me: two brothers.

Twin towers. Torn apart.

I don't know.

I'm still scared. Of course I'm scared. Where are we, this morning? As a country, as a people, as a world? What does all of this mean?

Where are we going?

questions, questions, questions
posted by lara 9/12/2001 09:18:38 AM

"The luggage of one of the men who flew to the airport Tuesday didn't make his scheduled connection. The Boston Globe reported the luggage contained a copy of the Quran, an instructional video on flying commercial airliners and a fuel consumption calculator."

This article recaps where we are as of this morning as a country. I'm ill; the idea of bodies being ferried across the river, of people saying they lost count of body parts, of the ghostly images of five stories left of the WTC.

These are not my own words, these are facts. I have no idea in the world where my own words are right now.
posted by lara 9/12/2001 09:04:43 AM

the new york skyline: 9.11.2001.
posted by lara 9/12/2001 01:10:12 AM

9.11.2001

"The sun will shine differently in this city from now on."

...walking from her evacuated building, holding wet rags to their mouths.

"like refugees."

thank god in heaven you're all right, Chrysten. Thank god. I cannot find words, I cannot express anything I am feeling. My brain is melting. All I can do - this is a small thing, but it is something - is think, "My Chrysten is alright."

And for a moment -- briefly -- i can breathe.
posted by lara 9/11/2001 09:22:51 PM

The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

-- Theodore Roethke.

posted by lara 9/11/2001 07:52:19 PM

new windows?:

most: writing, wildlife, music, books.

too: anthropology, australia, africa, the discovery channels, the crocodile hunter, web design, poetry, lions, sunday night fox, sunsets, good comedy, among other things.

music: paul simon, the lucksmiths, tori amos, mike viola & the candybutchers, jude, ben folds/five, rufus wainwright, liz phair, fiona apple, barenaked ladies, guster, et al.

friends: brandi, lucas, nicole, jenn, julie, tia.

contact:
lara@atayah.net

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