pardon my absence. im a busy man..i voted yesterday with full intention of seeing my candidate win later on t.v. but florida can't get their shit together.
all that counting and stuff really gets confusing.
i imagine bush will take florida because no one there speaks english either.
one giant step for the mentally challenged.....
"tell me bout the rabbits george"
posted by Andy Ingalls 9:03:49 PM
reality based tv. what a load .survivor..whatever...if i was on survivor they'd still be looking for the rest of the tribe...shallow graves for everybody..thats what the fuck i'm talkin about...what am i talking about? nothing makes sense anymore to me now that baseball season has ended. i think its the way it ended that has me in this limbo state.
9th inning.. 2 outs... 4 run lead..chaos...mass confusion...11 runs later the devil and his minions waltz(an evil waltz,of course) into the championship at foley field.
there is no god.
posted by Andy Ingalls 9:34:43 PM
currently at the house of fun.so far it has been fun....very fun...this is the summer of fun after all...next summer will probably be the summer of despair and loss so cash in all your fun tickets before the shit rain. just cooked a bunch of meat and poser meat on the grill . these things are the fuel that moves the engine that is the summer of fun..
make fun your god or be left behind.
posted by Andy Ingalls 9:18:26 PM
o father forgive me for i have sinned . it has been weeks since my last blog.possibly even months
my wife has been away at some mysterious conference in kenesaw all week.she's either having an affair
or plotting my death . possibly both. nothing really seems to phase me anyway its all just more shit to add to the shit pile of work i seem to have buried myself in for the past month. don't feel sorry for me though because the good news is that i'm not making any money either...see what i mean..like water of a ducks ass. nothing can kill me. even my doctor confirmed this a couple of weeks ago when we were going over my physical and blood work. he's staring in disbelief at the chart and im telling him how much bacon and cheese i eat while smoking. he was considering prescribing plutonium because other wise i'd live forever but then he realized that would go against some sort of oath he had taken.whatever.
im sleepy..
posted by Andy Ingalls 10:03:25 PM
my wife is harranging me for not blogging and shrinking her pants.she said she's hungry and that i'm not doing very much cleaning and that all the bills are everywhere.
not one hour ago she was asking me why i don't spend any of my, almost non existent, free time with her. i explained that she has a tendency to complain and that while sometimes that's a charming thing , most of the time it's something i avoid. the reasons for my blogging absence are very similar to the aforementioned situation.
i realize that the whole blogg thing is supposed to be a journal of my daily goings on but to me its much more than that.each one of my blogs is painstakingly crafted for
general consumption. i don't write this shit for me i've already lived it. i'm trying to help you people . it just takes too much out of me to write about personal life and bare my soul to you people when all i get in return are blogs about what you had to eat today. work with me here ... just give me a little insight into your psyche and not your colon.
i give and i give and i give
posted by Andy Ingalls 1:23:28 PM
so ..anyway the other night, at about 12:30, i went to the carport to have a cigarette and center my chi . i left the light off because i was in my underwear and didn't want any passersby to be startled by my obvious, elephantine sexual equiptment.(both a blessing and a curse)...suddenly i notice what appeared to be a woman walking slowly down the sidewalk . i thought it odd that a girl would be alone at this hour but as the person moved closer i realized it wasn't a woman at all...it was a dirty hippie...
when the hippie got to the end of my driveway he stopped abruptly and looked in my general direction ..i thought that he must have seen me but i wasn't quite sure so instinctively i cupped my cigarette and remained perfectly still as the hippie started down the driveway towards me...with only my wifes car between us he turned sharply in the direction of the patio out of my line of sight... i changed my vantage point just in time to see this godless bastard lifting a statue of the virgin mary off of my front porch..
"what the fuck are you doing" i said as he turned towards me to which he immediately replied "doh"! quickly i noted the humor in his retort and filed it away to be dealt
with at less adrenaline filled moment...he took off up the hill with the mary tucked under his arm and i closed in on him (with an angle of pursuit that would have made the high light tapes of all the sports networks ) when suddenly it occurred to me that this guy had a statue made out of cement...in my nanosecond of hesitation it dawned on him too and he hurled the madonna torwards my half naked frame. i blocked it with my arm and he scurried up the street. i ran inside to put some pants on and told amy to call the police . i was determined to run him down with the truck and beat him to death with a shovel but that would have been wrong.
instead i've decided to blame god and renounce my catholic faith.
all because I WAS ASSAULTED WITH A RELIGIOS ICON.
love,
the pope of pinecrest drive
posted by Andy Ingalls 11:22:13 PM
all right what the hell is going on? found out i'm an uncle again.my brother's wife just gave birth to a 8 pound grouper of the male persuasion.
it seems that my siblings are engaged in some sort of fucked up arms race that escalates every 9 months or so....each one is determined to further pollute the earth with as many future school shooters as their uteruses can carry...i mean that in a nice way...i love kids...my sister has two boy's and two girl's and my brother has two girl's and the new boy. the thing is that i don't think any of them consider the awesome responsibility it is to be an uncle...they never consult with me when their planning these things
and i just think it's a little bit selfish....maybe i'm just jealous...it is tax time and my deductions are looking mighty slim...
good night children
love,
uncle grumpy
posted by Andy Ingalls 11:22:19 PM