Wednesday, September 12, 2001
i'm tired, so tired of having to explain myself for the things that i do, so tired of being called selfish. clearly, i am not responsible enough to be handling another person's burden. i am so tired.
please stop accusing me of lying. i'll take it all lying down, what's your charge, i accept.
i am so tired, forgive me.
&said rei rei @ 04:04PM %bite back
Tuesday, August 14, 2001
i am capricious.
i have never asked for anyone to follow and adhere by the fickle considerations i make before finally settling on a decision. it's my little way of self-reassurance before i commit myself wholly to something i want to be sure wouldn't turn out to be another setback.
do not depend on me. i am no pillar of strength or all-out aggressive decision maker.
don't try, you'll never understand me.
&said rei rei @ 12:30AM %2 bites
Sunday, July 29, 2001
nobody listens.
my family is important to me. i want them to know what i feel and my views on a whole lot of aspects of life, i want them to be able to relate to me.
sadly, nobody listens.
everytime i try to make a point, be it about society, my latest interest in something, shit like that, someone cuts in with something else he or she warrants more fascinating, while i rapidly lose the drive to push my point through, in the background.
i am tired. tired of so often trying to express my enthusiasm for something because they skim over the ideas carelessly or rip it to shreds. tired of telling them something i could have been proud of and have it torn asunder.
they love me, i know, then why would they belittle me like that? it's puzzling.
&said rei rei @ 10:51PM %bite back
you know what, screw that idiocy i posted in the last post. all the world may be full of love but it doesn't excuse people like debbie swenson.
i just read more of her kaycee stuff, and i'm wondering how much effort she put in to pretend she was a 19 year old girl. the amount of time she spent on the internet gaining all that popularity, the lingo she used in her emails and other collaboration and stuff... and then when you add it all up, it just isn't normal.
eeh, creepy people. i'm going to go to bed and not dwell on this again.
&said rei rei @ 10:29AM %bite back
i'm not sure how many people out there are aware of the kaycee nicole story, something i stumbled onto tonight and spent a bit poring over the details. %%more...
&said rei rei @ 08:52AM %once bitten
Saturday, July 28, 2001
plain and simple, i feel like shit.
i'm sorry. i wish i wasn't so mean to you, and that you weren't so mean back. it's raining right now and i miss you so badly. if we didn't fight i'd perhaps still be sleeping soundly in your arms right now instead of feeling miserably sorry for myself.
there are just so many things i wish i could find the strength to say to you so that you'd understand.
fuck, i feel like a worm.
&said rei rei @ 01:08PM %bite back
Friday, July 27, 2001
i got myself a job after 4 months of whiling away my time, or rather, wasting away at home. work starts on monday. eecchh, i'm gonna be a salesgirl. but at least i'd have something to do and have some sort of income coming in. can you smell the excitement? heh.
august will be soon. i hope everything goes well and that i am accepted.
since i got my internet back i've been madly downloading files again, it's the rush of excitement from my sadly internet-dependent self talking and neglecting a whole lot of other things i ought to be paying more attention to.
i have to go to bed, not out of need for sleep though, it's time to adjust myself to a day-life again. no more nocturnal escapades for me for a while...
a word, before i go; i found vlad damien tonight, and i hope he wouldn't hold it against me for sharing his exquisite site with all of you. take a look and be swept away in it's magnificence.
&said rei rei @ 02:20AM %bite back
Wednesday, July 18, 2001
a ha, i haven't been online for what, 2 weeks. there's been some technical fault due to the modem incompatibility and stuff like that i'm sure no one really wants to know about it. all i can say is, it blows.
someone finally found and signed the guestbook, which is probably the reason why i'm posting when i was trying to force myself to go back to sleep.
(ay, fuck. my counter is screwed up but i'm too lazy to fix it.)
to pei, who posted entry #90 in the book: %%more...
&said rei rei @ 08:21AM %once bitten
Monday, July 2, 2001
i saw this really pritty pair of sunglasses at the shop today, and well, i'm still drooling. it's clear plastic, pale blue frames with blue-violet lens. too bad i'm kinda broke at the moment and my mom almost flipped when they quoted the price. for someone who basically does nothing all day, asking for a brand new, relatively expensive, pair of glasses when i've just made a new pair a couple of days ago is totally out of the question, she says. "wait a bit"... yeah right. ahhh, but nothing is going to stop me. i'm going to buy it somehow, hehehe...
i could bug her till she gives in, though i figure i'm just going to get myself a job and pay for it myself. i just hope no one gets it before i do.
&said rei rei @ 07:59PM %bite back
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