A bit of rant, mixed with healthy doses of depression and sarcasm, and tossed with a light meloncholy dressing.


Sign the guestbook.

Right now, I'm feeling:

This is a test of a new Avantgo Blogger interface.
posted at 1:24 PM

Wow. 2 months since an update. I think I need to spend less time at work.
posted at 12:21 PM

Oh, well. Another Valentine's Day spent alone.

Damn. I should be used to it by now.
posted at 7:56 PM

I have this urge to write something really profound. But unfortunately, I got nothin'.

Now you're stuck with this.

Work is good. Busy. Frustrating. Fun. Everything.

Got a new screenshot up of my desktop on my work laptop. Its RedHat Linux 6.2, a fresh kernel, Helix Gnome, and Eazel's Nautilus. Its pretty sweet. The machine itself is an IBM Thinkpad T21. PIII-800mhz, 256mb of RAM, 6X DVD, 20gb disc, etc. Astute readers will notice that the speed rating for the machine in the screenshot doesn't jive with the specs I just outlined. But, alas, my specs are correct. I've already filled out a bug report with Eazel.

Slashdot carried a story today about Eric Allman and Kirk McKusick, creators of sendmail and BSD UNIX, respectively. They've been a pair for years, and its good to see some geek rolemodels for the glbt youngsters out there.

I think thats all I got for now.
posted at 5:29 PM

Okay. So I'm officially sick of being lonely.

And I'm currently tired of having feelings for persons otherwise entangled, or just plain unavailable.

I seem to become interested in someone, and they show no interest in anything other than a friendly relationship with me. And their already seeing someone. Or their a few thousand miles away at school. Somehow, being a "nice guy" doesn't comfort me at all.

Its been years since I haven't been lonely. Sure, I've got plently of friends, I keep busy with work and play, but I can't be the third wheel anymore. I look at what the others in my life have, and I want to jump up and down and yell, "See! Thats what I want!"

One of the worst things is that I'm infatuated with 3 women. All of whom I consider good friends, while one has been more than that in the past. Plus, one has a boyfriend, one is far away in a midwestern state, and the other just doesn't seem to know I'm interested in her. To each, I am a "nice guy."

I need someone. Soon.

posted at 8:05 PM

Quote of the day:

Those that indulge in child pornography have DNA more bent and twisted than the fuselage of a downed airliner. If one of my children were unthinkably snared in such a diabolical web, I would, without hesitation, strip my liberal conscience to bare metal vigilantism and embark on a mission that only the mighty right hand of God could forestall.

-brock meeks ( on MSNBC.)
posted at 1:00 PM

I think one of the reasons I'm happy that the previous job is over is this: I was uncomfortable working in an environment where I had to hide who I was. In a way, I'm starting with a clean slate. That somehow reassures me.
posted at 5:50 PM

I am now unemployed.

At least until Monday.
posted at 4:37 PM

Quote of the day:

As it is, however, I'm as distrustful of anarchosyndicalist commune-sized
units as I am of contemporary corporations as a way of solving problems of
liberty and a believer in the idea that large-scale capitalism produces fewer
economic inefficiencies and a higher standard of living.

-adam barnhart (on FC.)
posted at 4:36 PM

An old joke, but a good one:
-------
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want!"

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want!"

The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
posted at 10:06 AM

Cool. I now have a guestbook. Its even Tux themed.

posted at 7:07 AM

I am an emotional midget.

posted at 8:01 PM

Okay. Time for a big update.

Lets go chronologically, shall we?

First, I moved. That happened about a month ago. The lack of amenities in downtown Rochester was starting to get to me, plus I hated one of my roomates. So, I moved out. I'm rooming with Steve still, but no Kim. Thank God.

We're now in a townhouse in Brighton. Quite nice. Very large, carpets everywhere, great neighborhood.

And, 2 weeks ago, I quit my job. I'll now be working for Global Crossing as a network engineer / sysadmin. Should prove to be interesting. I'll be working on their new DSL networks, and have a good crossover between Systems Administration, and LAN/WAN technologies. Much like I did back at E-Znet. Plus, I'll be working with some old E-Znet colleagues.

My reasons for leaving aren't very specific. I just felt that it was time. I wasn't going anywhere, and not doing what I liked. I was getting pidgenholed into doing what I was already good at, and not what I wanted to learn; and be challenged by. I think thats where part of my difficulties in life start. If something isn't intellectually stimulating, I chose not to do it, or at least not give 100%. That was what was happening previously. The internal network wasn't very exciting. One can only kill off so many errant Oracle processes before it gets boring. So I just stopped caring.

Give my 1.8 week notice last Monday. I was quite surprised that I wasn't escorted out of the building right away, as Global Crossing is one of my previous employer's major competitors. But alas, I got to enjoy the full range of emotions I get from browsing the web at work for 7 hours.

And so now I go to work, no root access, no responsibilities. I'd like it alot better if I didn't have to go to the office, but hey, nothing in the world is perfect. Especially if you look close enough.

So now I'm just waiting for the new job to start. And I now have RoadRunner at home. Works as advertised. Firewall booted up nice, with no problems.

And to top it all off, I installed DHCPd with static assignments. Makes life so much easier.

Yes, my life is now complete.

posted at 6:51 PM

A sysadmin without root is like a bird without wings. Sure, it can run around and look cool. But it can't really do much.
posted at 12:54 PM

Quote of the day:

"i don't want to change the world, i'm not looking for a new England, i'm just looking for a pile of cash..."

-trond (on FC.)
posted at 7:47 AM

Wow. More than a month since the last update. More to come soon. Moving and not having more than dialup at the new place sucks.
posted at 1:49 PM

I love FreeBSD.

Its solid. Its fast. It runs Linux binaries. Well.

I'm not quite used to the BSD-style of things, but I'm geting the hang of it.

Oh, and I have no life.
posted at 10:36 PM

Congratulations, Linus!

Here is some more info on Linus's new baby.
posted at 11:46 AM

Well, its been a long time.

Went to Colorado for a week for the Sun Solaris Administration Fast Track course. Had some fun, flew on a plane for a bit, and generally enjoyed the time off. Not alot of new knowledge, just reinforcement of what I'd already known.

Right before I left, I got a very disturbing call from an ex-girlfriend of mine. She's a wonderful person, and we've been good friends since. But I'm still in love with her, and it was a rough time being the shoulder she was crying on. In many ways, we are very similar people, and that is part of why we broke up years ago. I'd like to think we are both in a much better place now, however, that could just be me being overly optimistic.

I'll just play it by ear.
posted at 1:52 PM

Happy birthday to me. I turn 21 today. I'm all excited. Or not.
posted at 11:29 AM

I am a frumply nerd.
posted at 8:32 PM

Mission accomplished. RCA Lyra in hand.

I'm finding that WMA is a kickass format. 128kbits audio at 3/4 the size of MP3.

Wow.
posted at 8:26 PM

Heh. Added my little imood indicator over to the left. Its kinda neat. Similar in concept to Blogger, except its focus is a bit smaller.

Why do I find it so wierd that I often focus more on the medium than the message?

Going to buy an RCA Lyra tonite. I need a small music device, and this one supports MP3, WMA, and RealPlayer formats. And it takes Compact Flash cards, which I like alot. I think I'll snag it at Best Buy.
posted at 2:06 PM

Susan Werner was great. Such strength of voice and character. And quite funny.

This whole weblog thing is beginning to get wierd. Eh, oh well. Its quite cathartic, at least.
posted at 9:39 PM

Spent most of today building a house as part of my company's Habitat For Humanity program. It was alot of fun, but I'm sore as hell. Spending a hot day working with concrete and mud isn't easy on fat people like me.

Going to see Susan Werner with Lynne and her mom tonite at the 12 Corners Coffeehouse. Should be good.
posted at 1:41 PM

What happens when you mix stupid users, wise-cracking sysadmins, and a misleading domain name?

dumbasses.thematrix.com

posted at 7:26 AM

So I'm sitting here at 1am, reading about Wednesday's Bore & Gush debate, and I realized, I just don't care anymore...

Sure, I'd love to see a Democrat in the Whitehouse, but having Bush in there could be alot of fun.

Watched "Will & Grace" tonite at Lynne's.. Really funny...

Much more so than before I came out.

It was kinda wierd, watchinq it with Julio, Lynne's dad. A lesbian, her bisexual friend, and her straight dad; all sitting down to watch a show about 2 cute gay guys and a straight redhead . Wow, these are heady times we live in, are they not?

Lynne's mom, Carol, came home a little while later. She came out a little while after me, much to the surprise of Julio (her husband) and their friends.

Carol is great. I hadn't seen her since 1996, athough I've heard quite a bit about her coming out and her life since then. She is such a strong person...

So its 2am, and my wrist hurts. Time to get the keyboard for the Visor.
posted at 6:06 AM

Well, this is my first post from my Visor. Its kinda neat, but the palm sucks at text input.
posted at 3:19 PM

welcome to the new weblog. It seems to be kinda neat, and Taylor mentioned that it can be updated from the Palm, so I'm game.

or at least until I get bored.
posted at 2:55 PM