picture pages

September 13, 2001 as calls for the dogs of war feed upon our pain, and american flags sprout from every porch and pickup, i will simply ask that we think before we act. what do we want and how best can we get it? if we determine that he was involved, here is the best idea ive heard so far.
8:12 PM

September 12, 2001 im keepin quiet, letting them speak for me
1:37 AM

September 10, 2001 we think we've got a city apartment, pretty much at iowa and western. we are just waiting for the credit apps to go thru. im probably gonna sell alot of stuff due to this new lack of space, like a weight bench and a mongo tv and maybe a queen-size bedroom set and even my computer. its life changin, thats all. then to enroll at UIC but still work out here in elmhurst. so if you wanna buy anything, email me now. gotta work out the oswald email address sometime soon too. this weekend got me up early both days. first for radicalism at a union hall, meeting with direct action network chicago. sunday was for breakfast for my mom. at the meeting, i was made well aware of the infighting of the different lefty groups. also, almost everyone seemed to consider themselves anti-capitalist. my view is that capitalism just needs a strong dose of socialism in the forms of steeply progressive taxation and public services like health care and education. their insistence on separation and definition troubled me. isnt anything progressive good? too many didnt think so. do we cooperate or confront groups like the IMF and WB? shouldnt it be both?! probably just pick the group you feel closest too but support all that support the same agendas and issues. still a green so far.
7:44 PM

September 3, 2001 i just wish orange juice made its way to my house like water
11:51 PM

August 29, 2001 marc, im handing this one over to you, partly cause i wanna see some updates and plainly cause i got nuttin. i feel its a good way to bridge the pages cause its kinda bout politics but is all about ridicule. my buddy saul, somewhat soon to be roomie saul, and i are of course lookin for apts in the city. in the ukrainian village area we're hopin. the house experiment is over. results being less than satisfactory.
6:32 PM

August 27, 2001 "good enuf for government work!" my uncle used to say that alot. i love the idea of reverse-classification in order to silence the freedom of speech. quote them, classify it, and then have them read it.
5:48 PM

August 9, 2001 its late and im still at work, the monthly save thingy. hopefully im gonna make it into the rally tomorrow, the ticket situation is kinda weird. im gonna write even more directly than i usually do cause ive felt that recently i havent done so, thought too much about it. food is important. drink too. im kickin caffeine, and in the process it has kicked the shit out of me. bad headaches, but im past that now. my stomach is still funny. i eat fast food almost everyday for most meals. this is not good, but it fits my schedule. they get ya, cause its easy. my body does not like me, not hate, more like sad and reserved and even seldomly angered. its all part of the plan, from caffeine to less carbonated sugar water to healthy eatin (like the grand canyon, i explained to laura the thought thing). i dont understand it though, how to even procede i think. seems like too much effort, too little reward. more fruits and vegies but id rather buy them from a market and then they go to waste, same with bread. we pay way too little for food, jumped at me after reading schumacher. it should be a larger part of our budgets, we should desire more quality and accept/welcome the cost. two movements, slow food and farm aid part of the same anti-globalization push. economics are ignorant to so much human nature and culture. the poverty line is decided by the cost of food, something like drawn at 3 times that. makes sense, back in the day, people spent close to a third of their income on food. ying-yang. but now we spend far less, so we can spend far more on other things that dance on the screens. farm aid is on my birthday this year, maybe ill to stop by on the way to d.c. solidarity. goin home. couldnt flow too well, no rhythm.
11:41 PM

July 31, 2001 a day off to vote, not that people would, is still a great idea. worth a try. did ya know there was a homing beacon on the test missile that was shot down during the last test of the son of star wars missile defense thingy? still, they are getting better, cause they rigged the prior two tests the same way and they still failed. coming up next week is the founding of the campus greens so close to home, at UIC. i wanna go, but i do want someone to join me. should i take friday off? there is a rally connected to it friday at 730pm at the congress theater, with ralph and winona and jello and even ani. hope its not sold out yet. and then the world bank / imf meeting in d.c. from sept 28th to oct 4th. its a lot of days. and who cares? why should you? heres a primer. it would be amazing to keep it completely non-violent and huge. rally at the mall. ive only been there for less than an hour or so.
7:28 PM

July 29, 2001 black bag
4:16 AM

July 20, 2001 feels right, my thoughts exactly...well, close
2:09 AM

July 16, 2001 my dad's family owned and ran 'the university restaurant' from the twenties to the late seventies. the family restaurant, we're greek, had to be. it was across the street from the cook county hospital. its where my mom and dad met, as she worked at as a nurse at the hospital while he was behind the counter. almost sixty years, never closed, twenty-four hour deal. i recently asked my dad about it cause of studs terkel's article in rollingstone magazine. he mentioned that the wells-grand was by cook county hospital, and so i asked my dad about it and studs and labor movements. this meant i had to hear about a relative named pete who cheered the cops on in '68 when they beat protestors at the democratic convention. seems there was more tho. my uncle, the one im named after, worked the night shift. we was pretty friendly with the cops too, gave them free drinks and food. one night/early morning in december of '69, some cops came in and told what they had just done. they had killed some people, some black panthers, Fred Hampton and Mark Clark. they said they wish they could of taken out some more.
7:49 PM

July 9, 2001 the american public is wakin to the fact of america bein a corporate whore? i think theyve known for a while now, they just dont know what they can do about it. they overwhelmingly support all the limits on corporate money-led power, like campaign finance reform, a patient's bill of rights, putting the environment ahead of profit, and labeling GM foods. the polls showed a huge jump in gore's ratings when he railed against them. then he backed off, not that he as a democrat was ever serious about the rhetoric. i think thats why he didnt poll even higher. the people want all these things, but they dont believe either of the two parties will get the changes made. and the green party, any third party, simply cant win. shit, they cant even get on the two-party run and corporate-sponsored 'debates'.
6:14 PM

July 3, 2001 he died thirty years ago today. when i woke, it was his words and face that i found.
7:49 PM

June 29, 2001 i think i gotta modify my tax plan, the one i mentioned on the 13th. there is the issue of finding out a wealthy person's income, by which i mean payroll and gains from investment. also, as this article points out, many of the profits made by a company dont make it out as income to the employees or shareholders. my plan didnt account for that. still, the taxes could be simplier and maybe my plan just needs a little tweakin. the man from alcoa, our treasury secretary, wants to get rid of social programs like social security and medicare. roll em back into single unified welfare and universal health care system respectively, paid by a progressive tax plan like i tried to put forth, and ill agree. id bet america might too. ive known for a while the chemical wasting of nutrients and energy that occurs in a carnivore diet, but i never did know the commonly understood waste of energy that goes into the business. i need to stop with the moo and oink. powell has now decided yes to an observing force like the palestinians and UN wanted, and we rejected, not so long ago. any bets on how long till the puppeteer team of cheney & rumsfield & rove make the Dubya doll call back the defiant secretary?
6:47 PM

June 25, 2001 have you noticed the almost dramatic drop in gas prices? did demand decrease? did everyone just decide to drive less or leave the SUV at home? it doesnt appear that way to me. supply must have increased and got cheaper then. but OPEC didnt drop the prices or increase output. wait, OPEC's prices havent changed for a long time, being about the same for the last couple years. what could it be? who was makin all the money and now is makin a bit less? why would they do that? were they doin somethin they shouldnt of and then got caught? oh yeah, the middle man. the refining companies. they must of figured out that decreasing supply means increasing profit. but somebody snitched em out, and now we get to see what they didnt want us to, that they used their oligopoly to keep out competitors, cut the refining capacity, make a bundle, and blame it all on environmental protections. still, i cant blame em. they are just abusin the system to make mo money. i blame the game, not the playa. privatizin social security, like that makes any sense. more social services, not less.
9:35 PM

June 16, 2001 i couldnt have said it better myself, but i tried
4:48 PM

June 13, 2001 new theory: get rid of payroll and even corporate taxes, and just drastically modify income taxes. make it like a fifty percent tax on all income over like $100,000. a little socialism while keeping the capitalist competition. accepting that corporate taxes are eventually really paid by the consumer, and payroll taxes are thus similarly split between employee and consumer, but companies still bitch about them, lets help both of them out. why should the rich have to pay more? cause we want to keep this a land of opportunity. "by tearing down the tollbooths on the way to the middle-class" and even farther, making products cheaper by removing the cost companies have to pass on down to consumers due to corporate taxes and the company-paid part of payroll taxes, and lessening the burden of retirement preparation on the middle-class to allow for greater investment in america, we can continue to improve on the opportunities afforded american citizens through public education and health care. in these united states, we must continue the tradition, allowing all of our people greater opportunity so that thru hard work, they can make their dreams come true. pyramidal societies dont work as they eventually cause revolution. cept for maybe egyptians, but i bet thats what befell them after the opiate of religion wore off.
3:15 AM

June 11, 2001 this protest movement feeling does so much ebbin and flowin. i so wanted to go down there, to terre haute, to testify against the foolishness of revenge for revenge. im wrestlin with it still. even random body twitches. i wanted to go back when i wrote it, and i wanted to on thursday night. and i wanted to friday. and i didnt feel up to it today, sunday, when i called back marc. i feel that he heard that in my voice, the let down. mike told me to call him, and at that point i was hopin he would be givin some excuse that would thus be mine too. he said he was still up for it, and i said id call him back, and i waited till about 11 when i convinced myself again. couldnt reach him, and he had already resigned from the idea. but i was talkin to someone, and i think i convinced them to go. so thats cool. just that i still feel torn up about wussin out. if i drove myself now, id fall asleep. its a documented case, my eighteenth birthday. i want to stop it. hackers need to tap the power grid in indiana like they did in cali, bout 6 hours from now
12:48 AM

June 8, 2001 7 am monday morning
11:36 AM

May 25, 2001 mentioning my view on the israeli issue, cause mike told people to email me about it but they havent. i just think israel needs to do something without demanding something in return first. they need to not only suspend all building in the disputed lands of the west bank and gaza strip, but repeal their presence completely from those areas. and let it be that way forever on. not make a big fuss about it, just do it cause its right. and if israeli settlers want to move out there still, refuse to support them militarily. tell them that it is palestinian land and thats how its gonna be. now back to what i really want to talk about, and thats this nuclear power jazz. the old plan was to store the waste at the site it was created. since the plants would only run for 40 years, they would only have to store that much waste. not a big problem, once you convince people to let you build the plant in the first place. Dubya's new plan calls for extending the life of these plants, which means the plants will run out of space to put the waste. so there is a permanent waste site being envisoned, Yucca Mountain in Nevada. but the people of Nevada dont want that to happen, would you? this is also why the plan envisions increasing the size of current nuclear plants because its hard to get citizens to approve new nuclear plants. that hasnt happened for 20 years. until there is some kinda conclusion on waste storage, it doesnt seem to me a good idea to go further with nuclear plans. and while nuclear is usually nice and clean and pretty, would you support the source whos only real problem is catastrophic. we know fossil fuels suck cause theyre dirty and limited. so what about solar? not cost-efficient yet? not dependable yet? we dont have the technology to do it yet? well, if we are willing to try to make this son of star wars thing feasible, doesnt it make sense to do whatever we have to for efficient production by solar? make that the new american challenge, something people say cant be done but we prove otherwise. american ingenuity. our moon landing. something about having faith in the american people that i hear over and over. put some panels on your roof and make the meter run backwards, use the grid as a big ass battery.
6:20 PM

May 22, 2001 lies! damned lies!
2:17 AM

May 21, 2001 lesser developed countries as indentured servants, thats one way to keep the capitalist wheels turning. till this last half-century, it seems the system just took native lands or resources while using slave or unorganized domestic labor. but recently, there are new committees making big plans and major shit goin down. its composed of all those acronyms youd rather not know, theyd rather you not understand. im gonna try, but im not there yet. the next big party is around my birthday. d.c. to boot.
1:50 AM

read this article, due to a link at commondreams.org of course. it speaks of the IMF and those others that all mean the same. in it, it mentions Botswana as a country that has been able to turn itself around because it refused the IMF policies. less than an hour later, i switched on newshour on pbs just in time to hear the word Botswana, how it was a country that somehow had enough leadership to make a dramatic improvement. not mentioning the IMF as far as i could tell, explaining that it was this 'leadership quality' that just doesnt appear enough in africa
7:11 PM

May 14, 2001 damn blogger. very good here and better than decent here. damn blogger. i had made it sound so good before too that you might have actually followed the link and read somethin.
8:31 PM

May 10, 2001 found somethin that fleshes out the arguments pretty well, while its old and i do not fully agree. Dubya said the drug war must focus more on the demand side. genius. maybe a couple of dead american christians will do that to ya, mr baseball. maybe not, cause he didnt say wed be changing anything on the supply-side shoot and spray plan we got goin in south america. also, nuthin about non-violents fillin up prisons while he casually says his problems were oh so long ago. oh peru! and we thought you folks were finally playing fair. i swear, we had no idea what was up. now maybe the UN thinks we did, that we might be party to human rights violations in the name of stopping the flow. (why is nobody bringing this up, saying its cause of Kyoto and ABM) but we can deal with that. play ball!
7:10 PM

May 9, 2001 im not as aggressive as these folks, but i think ive got a new idea that would produce less anger and so possibly even some serious thought and consideration. also comes from a concept i found in an adbusters magazine. putting tickets under the windshield wipers of SUVs, pickups, and other light trucks that dont appear to be used for work. asking for monetary reimbursement to me and all other drivers of fuel-efficient cars. of course it sucks that the environment is polluted more than it need be by them, but im not innocent here as i should drive less too. the ticket would mention that, but only in passing as the environmental argument usually only angers folks who must be somewhat aware of that already. i get the sense that suburbanites in general have a near-hatred for the green argument already. but anyway, back to the main argument about why we deserve economic retribution. the right thinks they got the economic arguments all sewed up. im here to disagree, and im gonna play to the audience. by driving inefficient vehicles, more gas is needed. demand for oil is increased. when supply doesnt keep up, price goes up. simply, by your choice of driving an SUV or truck when you dont need to, i end up having to pay more for gas. over the years, fuel-efficiency has dramatically increased too. if there wasnt an increase in people driving wasteful vehicles, prices would only be adjusted only for inflation. so id like a little cash back, says this capitalist pig. PS - or we could enforce certain laws, increasing the size of the government and all that, but im sure you dont want that! thats silly, then id be infringing on your freedom
6:31 PM

May 7, 2001 grr, salon article response cgi thing first and now blogger, the net is broken
It seems to me that the man simply doesn't understand the problems with broad generalizations. While he complains about it, he uses that exact method to build his article. "In sum, every element of the anti-Republican paranoia rampant in African-American communities throughout this nation was deliberately planted there by the Democratic Party and the civil rights leadership." Oh yeah. Everything i hear against Democrats was planted by the vast-rightwing conspiracy. "Black males will always be stopped and arrested in far greater numbers than they make up in the population because black males commit violent crimes in far greater numbers than they make up in the population." (notice the change of tense) True, if the public and police allow the essence of prejudice to override rational thought. What about the non-violent crime, doesn't that count? I've always thought thats what drug crimes generally are, non-violent. To continue, Mr. Horowitz writes that "'Racial profiling' is only an injustice if it is profiling solely on the basis of race." Then he attempts to explain that race should be allowed as "one element in a clearly defined criminal dossier". The problem is that he fails to address the middle-ground, when someone is pulled over because they are black and/or male and/or listening to rap and/or driving an extremely nice SUV or a very run-down compact. It seems that as long as race isnt the only criteria, its not 'racial profiling'. Maybe we disagree on what the terminology should be, but it is still being prejudiced and an injustice to those they serve.
9:02 PM

May 3, 2001 china doesnt dislike us, they just dont like Dubya. no problem, a majority of americans agree. ive been tryin to get my head around the whole anti-missile missile system thingey, and why o why we are goin do it. for me, i think this guy hits it. buddy jeremy said he loved how we were nice just until we got our people back from china and then told them to go shove it right afterwards. seems we wanted to do that again, but someone screwed up and the 'fuck you' memo went out before we even got to the plane.
6:41 PM

April 27, 2001 something's added to the air. REALity tv. the chant wasnt 'justice' but 'so, so, solidarité'. it was quebec
1:36 AM

April 26, 2001 the cycle - like he says, the reason this bush guy aint so bad, it causes a pop art change, i think, people see that social concerns are not being heard or even payed lip-service, and they begin to demand more from their entertainment, maybe
12:43 AM

April 24, 2001 there is a new picture page from quebec city, more later
1:16 AM

April 18, 2001 that ani girl. in honor of her new cd set coming out, i decided to pop in dilate. i had to dance to superhero. heidi, the giggly one i thought for a long-time disliked me, introduced me to the righteous babe via that disc on the same day we waited for metro dylan tickets. not that im a big fan, but i respect him. ani and springsteen, props to the sun for life on earth. it was early and cold. the line went around the block and across a number of intersections. we thought we had a chance. there were four shows. we waited in line three hours. we were two people short of getting tickets. so we hit the salt-n-pepper afterwards. only the mounties can stop me now. some wild ideas bein thrown around. second fiddle to the democrats till we show that greens care about this too. dont we? there is more to racism than market manipulation / continuation of imperialism in free trade terms. i wanna protest mcveigh's execution too, middle of may in indiana. ill get ideas in quebec. we train, they kill, and then they start thinkin. thats when the trouble starts. happens alot. bin laden?
1:43 AM

April 15, 2001 nutshell. not doin much for easter. laundry
1:47 PM

April 11, 2001 i know of one confirmed person goin to the summit in quebec. thats dubya. then there are definitely maybes. thats me and kathy and beth. if i dont, will i respect myself in the mornin? marc, you gotta hook me up with the anarchists at your el stop. they prolly got this trip all figured out. im thinkin dog whistles. "the troops must come home immediately" "we simply want an apology" "the american people must be patient, diplomacy takes time" if the troops are really your first priority sir, how bout goin to china for a good ol' kowtow? partake in ritual, get some culture, even kissinger did. show that it takes a real man to say im sorry. i also know of a definite no show in quebec. fidel. he wasnt invited. its alright, hed be too busy tryin to figure out how to get american medicines to his people, why this free trade area of the americas thing is so selectively exclusive.
1:25 AM

that damn liberal media
7:28 PM

April 3, 2001 youve seen it on the playground. bigger kid teases smaller kid by getting so close, in his face, maybe a half-inch away. 'im not touching you, im not touching you'. little kid pushes him. so who started it? hope the teacher saw
12:34 AM

April 1, 2001 youd think there might be more of a push by 'trickle-down' conservative economists to pass mccain-feingold, as im sure the nearly 500 million dollars could have been better used by companies and unions to 'expand opportunities' and 'raise the bottom line'
11:05 PM

March 28, 2001 i have a strange feeling/taste in the back of my head. like dizzy near puke thing. uggh. not goin away. the israeli government will not accept terrorism of its people in any form, meaning they will attack everyone possibly remotely associated with those they suspect are responsible. and they wont discuss peace till they are the only ones killing anyone, by direct means or not so. and we vetoed a UN resolution to endorse putting an observing-only force in the area to protect the palestinians. ask questions later
7:44 PM

March 26, 2001 it has been awhile. and it doesnt appear that ill be able to post again till maybe thursday. my home computer died, but i think it was just the power supply and not too bad to fix. tomorrow and wednesday, ive got a class on windows registry. the bad part is it starts at 8am, ends at 5pm, and then i get to go to work. if i can wake that early. so of course the pics on the top wont change for a while. im gonna miss dismemberment down at U of I, grrr, this weekend. and it also looks like making it to quebec city april 20-22 to protest the extension of NAFTA into FTAA wont happen, its fuckin 18 hours away, i was thinkin like 8 would be ok. but if you read this, and are really interested in getting beat up by cops and breathing tear gas to stop the inhumanity to man, say hello. i just cant find anyone who is interested in it enough, but i do need to ask more people. think ive got 4 days left to take off, and the drive means id prolly need to use 'em.
6:59 PM

March 20, 2001 mike remarked maybe two weekends ago that it was a fundamental part of the US system that administrations simply do not repeal the changes made by the one prior. yet im not surprised Gdubya fails to understand that. ive been lookin into economic theory recently, and i guess i consider myself a keynesian. free markets are not fool-proof and it seems a little nuts how people treat greenspan.
8:36 PM

March 16, 2001 it was monday that i decided to skip bowling for political discussion with Darren and Jeremy. during this, Darren remarked that our economy is built upon public opinion, and that we should attempt to infuse a positive outlook in order to produce a positive effect. today, friday, ive discovered an article that speaks on Gdubya's general decision to speak ill in order to push the tax cut thru. my view is that we need to put some money back in the hands of the lower and middle brackets thru income and payroll tax breaks that take effect as soon as possible, besides spending in public works infrastructure and technology programs to provide for sustainable long-term future growth. is there any way to get business to think that way, about the long-term continual growth instead of the immediate cash-in? that would seem to be better for workers and the world as a whole. an indirectly socialist command economy that naturally occurs by mass understanding by capitalists of the increased value of sustained incremental profitability...
7:17 PM

March 15, 2001 if i say it a million times, dont think it will be enough. while i cannot say i agree with all or even most of his opinions, he is an intriguiging fellow. a conservative thinking about issues more, understanding liberal policies and challenging the system. he is more trouble for republicans and bush than the entire crumbling democratic party. also interesting to understand how reagan changed the party, and how older republicans relate to mccain, at least fiscally, more than they do to most republicans
1:58 AM

continual struggle between the best possible equally available health care and profit.
5:54 PM

here and here. more details and argument over AIDS in africa
7:51 PM

March 13, 2001 would you venture a guess that children who grow up in poverty and broken families might have a higher propensity for criminal behavior? there was a study, and i would venture to say you wont like the results...
5:57 PM

paranoid, no?
6:04 PM

March 12, 2001 the iran-contra affair is coming to light again due to recent planned appointments by junior. and the butterfly-ballot shows up again. its like that question of if you were to change history by affecting one butterfly, the chain-reaction change in the progression of history would be huge. except its just history repeating because of the butterfly effect. not to say horrible things arent gonna happen, just that similar shit was pretty much directed by the same guys before. side note: money should matter less, and maybe after about 2 weeks it will.
7:31 PM

March 10, 2001 something to read
9:46 PM

March 9, 2001 isnt the whole capitalist system supposed to be built upon the survival-of-the-fittest mentality? thats really just another lie they tell in school. it really only applies to the consumer and worker, not the corporations and management. the excuse is always a need to protect the economy, as in bush's two recent moves to eliminate worker's protections and to prevent an imminent strike. take a gander at what is happening to Japan's economy cause of its corporate protection schemes. we need a complete 'general strike' till we get a worker/consumer based economic/political system.
3:01 PM

Bush made the case for tax cuts in South Dakota by taking a populist tack, telling the Sioux Falls rally that a single mother with two children and an income of $20,000 now faces a higher marginal income tax rate than wealthy people do. "She pays more on the margin than Wall Street bankers do - and that’s not right," Bush declared.
you're damn right that's not right, but i think your solution fixes only half of the problem and only increases the other half.
6:19 PM

March 8, 2001 some conservatives can even make sense when they write from the heart and not the wallet, and a sad truth of american politics
5:08 PM

did my democratic blue-dog representative vote for it? and if so, how soon can i try to replace him? guess me and clint kinda figured this last night...but the statistics still shock
7:49 PM

March 7, 2001 glad to see the priorities are in order
2:07 AM

March 6, 2001 oldie but goodie, all about hydrogen fuel being the shit of the future...my girl is gonna figure it out, no worries
5:39 PM

March 5, 2001 i was about to get rid of the link to 'liberals like christ', it didnt work anyway. but i went to where is was supposed to, and looked around a little. happy to report its gonna stay, cause through it i found a book about connecting spirit to engaging activism. peace
12:44 AM

profit over people...in all its disgusting details. the links are made so fucking obvious here. why us greenies are so damn pissed. corporations fund politicians who use their power to enforce intellectual property rights through the WTO and threats of economic punishment. it doesnt matter that the legality is in question cause its a foreign country, or that the situation is AIDS on the african continent which many say may be the worst humanitarian disaster ever. that is american foreign policy, protecting OUR interests. sick sick sick sick sick, are those OUR interests? do we not see how this causes wars? or do some see and relish it? i cannot believe the higher ups are so blind. its the economy, stupid
9:12 PM

March 2, 2001 guess us liberals are pulling together whats wrong with this place, but what do we want established to make it right? lotsa folks met to see if they could begin to figure that out
6:27 PM

March 1, 2001 really? i dont believe it
8:14 PM

February 26, 2001 at the k-rad show last thursday at the empty bottle, i saw a stop smiling sticker. 'muckraking is not a crime', loved that. they are still around, joe introduced me awhile ago. on the whole idea of media bias, comes two articles related on fighting this problem. one by chuck, another by muckrakers. all back to campaign finance reform, but isnt it all...
8:56 PM

February 25, 2001 the california power crisis. here and here. the problem came from mixing a a half-assed free-market approach with corporate welfare. generally, the government did three things: enforced companies to become distributors only, barred long-term price rate contracts between distributors and producers, and limited the price the distributors could charge the consumers. so both sides took advantage, and the distributors are getting screwed: the producers (the power plants) decreased supply to increase their price and make more money, consumers increased demand cause they saw no increased cost, making it even worse. so the distribution companies are bankrupting, and bills are being discussed to shift the burden to tax payers, californians or maybe even all of the US if the federal government bails them out. the california state government fucked up, be it because of corporate lobbying or an interest in saving residents money or just bad economic theory.
10:10 PM

February 24, 2001 is media biased? hmm
7:52 PM

February 19, 2001 still at work, been about a half-day now, my fault and im really not complaining, i got to watch 'american experience' on PBS about the lincolns. just the first part so far, very good, more truth than you might usually hear. then i watched 'chicago tonight', good shows on that networkchicago. it was about the friday bombings of iraq by us. seems a coming consensus (even here) that we must get a new plan, the rest of the world just doesnt seem willing to obey anymore. i dont know if i believe that we dont target civilians, or that we at least take care to only bomb military where civilians are not in any danger. look into our history, specifically documents on our use of nuclear weapons or the Dresden bombings. end the no-fly zones and the sanctions, we dont have international support for them anymore. we as a nation need to start talking, figuring out an international policy, especially for the mideast region. ill get to work arguing with my political nemesis Jeremy, you too!
11:47 PM

February 15, 2001 valentine's day, time to wish mike and pat happy birthdays, someone else too, im forgetting? im missing the pumpkins, knew i would if i was wrong, and i was. they broke up for real. time for modest mouse and propagandhi obsession. hmm, politics...bill movin to harlem, lies told about their last days coming to light, damn leftist media. marc rich thing is pretty crazy, i think it was partly for the political donations and partly as a move for Barak, we'll see. betcha he'll be cleared by the end of it, this re-impeach stuff is funny. clinton is the biggest celeb this world has ever known, the general populace still likes what he has done, while they disapprove of his personal life. and we still want to hear about him, bad or good, and he loves it. he probably planned all this shit just to stay in the headlines. how do you explain a man so politically savvy as to have come back so many times, doing such things as the expensive office and the marc rich pardon and even if half of the vandalism really happened. not smart enough to avoid the monica thing? exactly why he knows theyd look into everything, the monica thing was only discovered after all else failed. the man made a movie about how bored he was during the last year or so with monicagate over. (dismemberment plan playing, yea) maybe it all wasnt directly that he wanted to be attacked like during monicagate, but a subconscious thing like the monica thing, the lack of a male rolemodel growing up (another theory i heard). i have no idea what thats like, and i dont do stupid self-gratifying shit that i shouldnt out in the open or easily discovered. Rev. neither. liberal bastards
12:30 AM

can he recreate the past, updated with nifty politically correct female and minority images? do we want that? from the cabinet to the policies to the tax plan. some of even the super-wealthy say no.
5:47 PM

February 12, 2001 looking the gift horse in the mouth
i got up about 3 hours ago. not sure why i slept so late, just no reason to get up i guess, and a headache. weekend was strange, found out 'bright eyes' was playing friday night at the empty bottle, so i convinced mike and kevin to try going out there. turned out the band didnt show account of the weather, which wasnt really bad. so we tried to meet up with kathy at her new apartment, but needed to give her time to get there. got KFC at one that had bulletproof glass/plastic between us and the chicken, and rotating trays to trade money for food. then we hung with kathy at her new place, which is quite spacious with cats. one with a cold. krispee kreemes and sleep. saw my girl saturday, she is still sick. [napster just cut out, fuck, back now] then mike picked me up and we picked up marc and tried to get into the fireside bowl for 'the weakerthans' show. sold out, im told it doesnt happen much. so we went to brook & ethan's new city apt. never been there, i like, close to jewel, so we got snacks to bide time before being too late to the Neo-Futurarium. tried to see 'Too Much Light...' but it sold out. so we tried the Improv Olympic for the free cage match at midnight, but it wasnt happening. so went to the Vic for the Brew & View for 'dude, where's my car?' but i got to see mike and marc and brook and ethan and Stef too (separate thing, Jon's party upstairs), people i dont see that often, very nice. oh yeah, and the XFL and 'showtime at the Apollo'. see, me and racaps dont work well
2:59 AM

February 7, 2001 bey articles found by the riothero. i really recommend Islam and the Internet. thanx
10:12 PM

February 6, 2001 israelis chose Sharon. what does that say to palestinians? this article reminds me of what i heard over the weekend. right around the last time the century changed, we were infatuated with new gizmos and living pretty damn good. we never imagined we'd soon see more death than the world had ever known.
8:16 PM

February 4, 2001 keep up the good work!
10:34 PM

February 2, 2001 Bush likes his new "faith-based" social programs, and im guessing he likes the guy he chose to run it. Well, that guy, John J. DiIulio Jr., wrote an article about how Bush become president that i really like but that i guess W would not. kinda got the six degrees of separation thing goin
6:33 PM

January 31, 2001 here is an interesting article, says something about America, good and bad i guess. depending of course... and if you think all life is more important than money, even after its out of the womb, please think about signing here. unconvinced, read some of the articles. one of those linked to, despite the title, is really a relatively even handed account of the world oil market, why it is as it is. keep prices in the middle, and they all make money. cept for the polar bears
6:05 PM

January 29, 2001 and so i took a shower this morning, turned off the webcam while i put some clothes on, and forgot to turn it back on before i left...
8:07 PM

January 28, 2001 she is just a woman and a doctor and the assistant-director for an international organization. she also works in a poor country it seems. only read it if you think her opinion might mean something. but ill understand if you dismiss her thoughts as complaining about losing the funding to kill more babies. that makes perfect sense
4:05 AM

January 26, 2001 "Maybe Ralph Nader should be glamorous for having saved hundreds of thousands of lives and getting paid nothing for it. Maybe the doctor who just died in Uganda, trying to treat people with the Ebola virus, should be glamorous. They gave him about two lines in the New York Times." its from an interview with Lloyd Kaufman who runs Troma studios. pretty smart, even if they do use nonunion labor and make strange ass movies.
5:28 PM

January 25, 2001 whadda badass mother he is, and he aint goin away. i thought of something today, why cant a liberal politician play the conservative's game of tax cuts? what i mean is, people go ga-ga (especially the right ones) when they hear the magic words "tax cuts". so why couldn't a liberal draft up a plan that cuts taxes on all those but the highest bracket that also increases taxes on large businesses and those in the highest income bracket, while also closing corporate loopholes? then go around during the election cycle talking about it. it would thwart the bullshit tax cut plans conservatives bring out every year or so as being simple rhetoric. if explained simply and correctly, the popular support would be amazing. couldnt be defeated even by soft money whores. guess the danger would be class warfare. couldnt this capitalistic prison colony use a little?
8:16 PM

damn that felt good!
8:17 PM

January 23, 2001 'relationship of command' is much better on the second round. glad to report mccain is keeping to his troublemaking activities. ive been talkin all politics and nothing really personal, but to say that i skied. i don't think anything really deep has surfaced recently. maybe cause i havent gotten lost in music recently, or when i do, it goes political. i thought to write "how do i feel about laura" but that doesnt define deep for me as much as the realization that i dont feel im fulfilling myself, im not on a path that i feel is truly meaningful. this is what eats at me, its my pain. as i hide from that, other things in life feel more empty. only with ATDI blaring did i get down to writing this. my dad wants me back in school. i should ask him why. public service announcement.
11:57 PM

January 22, 2001 no new taxes, im really a moderate...bullshit! i just hope people remember
9:02 PM

January 21, 2001 new guy, same shit? new link tho
8:14 PM

January 11, 2001 so im in utah today, actually park city, near salt lake. went skiing the last three days, takin today off to go see traffic and other stuff, ski more the next two days. looks like blogger might be workin again, they got a new server already. illegal immigrant, living in your house, and paid under the table for housework. seems the definition to me
1:15 PM

December 28, 2000 a single optical system with a way to check that your vote counts? why not? im glad there is no more straight ticket, unless there would also be a green one. still the reason it was removed aint right
4:47 PM

December 27, 2000 give me a union fatcat over the business type anyday
1:16 PM

December 22, 2000 she is my charlie, if you've seen high fidelity. like out of thin air, of a different world, as if it hadnt been done before. i wanna be rage's new frontman. but i cant sing. president-Select bush.
3:16 AM

December 13, 2000 the media did a good job of making us think there was a big difference between the two, getting us to pay attention, telling us it was the closest and most contested election ever, but it wasnt. the media is biased toward profit, nothing else. they only wanted us to pay attention, get the advertising dollars flowing. so they were willing to lie. not till now do we hear about the election that dragged on until february. this was news they could cover endlessly, news they could be unbiased about, cause they bought both guys. shit they could cover instead of the palestinians treatment by israelis, or fox trying to do something for mexico, or any of the consumer concerns like firestone and health care. i saw 'proof of life' tonight, and i dont recommend it. the story is supported by a rebellion against an oil pipeline, but we don't ever really hear their side of the story. close but nothing but a cigar.
1:37 AM

December 10, 2000 is the time of revolution afoot? is the will of the people being denied? hell of a time to be deciding if i wanna devote my life to politics...
when will the riots start?
12:43 AM

maybe its not as bad as i first thought, and maybe its cause they aren't that different, and maybe thats why it was so close, and maybe thats why i still feel good about how i voted, and maybe its cause we really understand that that there will not be violence. hey roomies, now i understand.

"First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win." -Gandhi
1:26 AM

December 7, 2000 not too long, but a good summary of the whole situation. and the quote is really good. here, look, im updating, kinda...
3:58 PM

December 6, 2000 just a great article on the state of the computer industry, something im sure nader has alluded to. microsoft is not the only one to blame, just one of the most visible examples. on the other side of the coin, the AS/400 by IBM. trust it, it works
4:17 PM

December 1, 2000 i started to read a weblog, cause it was recently updated, and i found a sleater-kinney interview, interested but really never heard, and i find a billy interview, just after machina was released. read it if you dont have a ticket for tomorrow's show, and you may be surprised what you realize. said it all along, and we shall see. im planning on waiting out in the cold anyway, meant to be stuff. do people understand me at all? the damn stream thing i do when i communicate. anyway, to you again man, i do like to hold cd's and the art. could i be more on? its all so close, art or imitation. i think people can tell intrinsically. from you, or from the forces around? to envelop the power, realize that artist expressed something to allow you to feel it. pearl jam to zeppelin to muddy waters to some guy before him to the guy before him and on and on and on, to the collective that you felt and loved
1:45 AM

diverting from the pumpkins stint...and back to politics! ive heard too much about how stupid gore voters are. (aka: confused by the butterfly-ballot and not smart enough to punch all the way down) they just dont get as much free help...there are two counties in florida, martin and seminole, where absentee ballots would have been thrown out and not counted if it were not for the republican office attendants that corrected mistakes. in martin alone, bush would have lost about 2800 votes. lawsuits are pending. far from over
8:36 PM

November 29, 2000 so read what it says in the front of the booklet for the aeroplane singles collection, billy and james just say it together. to all, and i mean all, of course me, dont give in
1:50 AM

November 27, 2000 he makes much sense to me, i said it before in this blog. what would i do to see the last metro show? hmm...possibly anything
5:36 PM

November 26, 2000 greens just realize that what you do affects other people, simple as that. i think ron does too now. america's environmental policy refuses to acknowledge the fact, or at least take responsibility. a point well-made by paryl.
3:27 AM

November 22, 2000 new domain same old me and design but soon enuf one of those will change. i write tonight cause i havent in a while, and blogger is supposed to work better now, so ill try. gore got new life tonight, recounts count and fucked up ballots might too. wish i didnt care, wish i could finally get over it and accept that the two parties are one, but i cant, i dont, i want gore more than the bush bastard. i faxed the president to release peltier. he doesnt do email. you know what i think about the new radiohead, i think its good, but i really think its a game they are playing with us, the public at large. they dont want us to like them. lyrically. thom laughs at us, disgusted and apathetic. where are beth and sara already?
2:33 AM

November 7, 2000 so today is the day...our next president will be decided. ive little to say other than i hope it is nader but that i still feel gore would be better than bush. saturday night i got to see 'at the drive-in'. great band, good show. not feeling too inspirational. i think ive been sick over this presidential business. mike told me to write. night.
12:54 AM

October 26, 2000 gone green as ralph goes for that 34%, at least!
12:22 AM

October 24, 2000 News Flash!
Nike has announced that if Bush gets elected, they plan on joining up with scientologists to start their own private high schools to take advantage of vouchers and faith-based money. Without a dollar out of their pockets, Nike plans on raking it in. Tax money gets converted to a voucher that students will use to pay Nike to go to this new school. Why? Cause they have religious class that teaches about aliens living under volcanos and the school uniforms are all hip Nike apparel. Forced free advertising. Investors are licking their lips.
2:11 AM

October 13, 2000 the middle east is looking horrible recently, death and more death. i was gonna write about our politics, but they seem infinitely more important right now. in trying to understand the whole situation, i found palestinian propaganda. maybe this is why some can kill. as far as i get it, we helped to establish a state for people we felt were wronged at the time. make ourselves feel good, do a good deed, give the victims of the holocaust the land they have always called holy and their true home. problem is we do it and have to kick others out to do so. these displaced people are the palestinians. they were truly wronged, and resort to violence. of course that wont solve anything. but i think i agree with them till i get more information. mayor of jerusalem was on the charlie rose show saying their culture is one of violence, while he tried to say the jewish and christian cultures were not. glad he was challenged on that, almost got me actually. they are arabs and muslims, people of a different religion and skin color. lets paint them violent bastards like the native americans
2:37 AM

October 7, 2000 hello world...i just saw dismemberment plan at the empty bottle. suffice it to say, phrasing, they were superb, words. bass and keyboard guy told me to leave and got me the last xl hoodie, good people. friends are valuable, and i felt alive times tonight. their web site was pro-nader, big pic of the man himself. signing off
3:05 AM

September 30, 2000 it was my birthday today, actually yesterday, and i got a book i really want to read. ive gotta finish the current one first tho, bout 60 pages to go. the current one is about the destruction of yugoslavia, and it does a nice job of showing how leaders can provoke war, take nationalism to the unwelcome eventuality. good that it seems the people have finally decided to get rid of milosevic. i wish i understood war better. an anthropology class i took seemed to show that ethnic hatred was the cause. this book shows the power of manipulative leaders. media is more powerful than ive yet to admit
12:45 AM

oh yeah, change this page to more green
12:46 AM

September 27, 2000 fair global trade
decriminalization of drugs
cutting military spending
ending capital punishment
universal single-payer healthcare
mass increase of public education spending

briefs on some of the things the green party supports
10:50 PM

September 26, 2000 my roommates are promoting a new concept, its called 'saving the vote'. they want to change the system, make it so that people can choose not to vote in elections and then vote more than once in one of the following ones. they just dont think that any of the candidates deserve their vote. im just wondering what they want, who might deserve their vote or what their views are on the issues?! of course, the reason im writing this is that im not sure what i want. for sure. green looks good. so i decided to look at votenader.com again before i posted this, and i found out they changed it...alright, ive decided to support the 'save the vote' only if its prefaced by a 'discover the candidates' pledge. course candidates may not do what they say, but how will you ever know when to use the votes then. i just think 'save the vote' might be a front for apathy.
12:23 AM

September 20, 2000 go green or go corporate...
5:28 PM

September 17, 2000 rusted root is back! i think...
3:12 AM

politics sucks. i mean the game of it. that is such crap. the world is so important, and the issues. but to so many, it is just a game. i really dislike that, i dont think i blame them, but it just sucks. and it works on people. votenader.com
6:28 PM

September 16, 2000 just got back from seeing 'almost famous', new movie by cameron crowe. its good. did rolling stone actually give bad reviews to the early zeppelin albums? movie said so, and oh yeah, morrison is just a drunk. william miller was his name. more later...
2:14 AM

September 14, 2000 my counter just made it past 1401, i guess i can thank all the naked posing in front of the web cam. nudity works! as you can tell from that, i feel like i have nothing to post recently. the weather has been beautiful here recently, cept for the rain that made puddles in my basement room. im using napster again, gnutella has not been working, sad to say. so what really got me to do it was that the pumpkins released their last album on the net kinda. only on vinyl, like 25 songs and only 25 copies. then they told those they gave a copy to to mp3 it all and spread it. i got some of the songs last night, but the quality aint that great. maybe that was just the ones i got, but maybe its the vinyl to mp3 issue. today someone said they were gonna release it on cd too, maybe thru billy's new label, constantinople or something. it was supposedly a fuck you to their label. go billy, i think i pegged it in that earlier post maybe...allow me to enlighten anyone not yet hip, paypal.com kicks ass. so simple and easy. why not pay me.
11:33 PM

August 23, 2000 i must say, simply another good article. ill write again soon, i promise.
12:47 PM

August 12, 2000 something i stole from prince, about music and corps
2:01 AM

August 7, 2000 happy people dont write, oh fuck
5:49 PM

July 20, 2000 this demands attention, ive been thinking more politically lately, just not writing could it be due to MAJ and MOVE and mr john africa
1:12 PM

July 1, 2000 so i must stay awake
im at work, got back about 20 minutes ago after seeing the patriot, i dont really recommend it though either, neither does mike. i wish i could understand the war thing a little better. how the hell does it happen? who is willing to kill for another person's cause? even for their own really? the revolutionary war was about taxation without representation? that is worth killing over? seems to me some greedy bastards took some land from indians and didnt want their deaths for that to go to waste. how do we do all of it, steal some land, and then build some really good ideals around it. or is it just always that way? get what you can, but pacify the objectors and your own concience with moral ideology. other shit i gotta say. two crazy cases were ruled on by the supreme court recently. partial birth abortion and discrimination against gays by the boy scouts OF AMERICA. partial birth abortions are yucky. but they do belong under the right for a woman to choose i think, course i wish she could of chosen better before the sex or even earlier in the term. still, it should always be up to her and her doctor. doesnt ever seem the best choice, but i am not in a position to make that call. why cant we allow someone who is to? and about the boy scouts, i guess we can all be glad we still have one group to pick on. people are dumb and slow to learn. couldnt they at least get a separate but equal troop? and different fountains while we are at it? sarc
3:55 AM

June 27, 2000 im sick, runny nose and sore throat. i need to see a doctor, find out if i got allergies too. write bill write i want to open a comic and cd store in brookfield, right by the tracks on the corner thatll have a clock above it. im imagining getting to listen to music, talk to people about it, all while hanging with friends who might work there or just come by. do web stuff there too. what do i need to account for?
setup and tax and paperwork
renting the building and utilities
paying employees
that means a business plan of somekind, what to charge, what else to sell, and a good gimmick. how the hell can i sell cds when people can get the music free? maybe a random music cd with each purchase. at a train stop, newspapers definitely. see, i think comics would work that way too. internet cafe? trains are late sometimes. need to think more about this.
12:19 AM

June 21, 2000 we are learning javascript today, css was yesterday. improvements are on their way. id like to recommend paypal but i need to use it first. thats what i didnt do with jabber.
10:36 AM

June 15, 2000 hey, just wanted to post a link to this
1:15 AM

June 8, 2000 ok, ive gotta try out jabber. it is an open source IM client that works with AIM and ICQ supposedly. hmm...just what ive been thinking about
9:48 AM

June 6, 2000 ted danson has begun to rock, and of course saturn and the sixfooter always did. to the left <--
12:57 AM

June 5, 2000 so im in a web design class, starts 8:30 monday thru thursday, better than the 8 i thought but that means getting to work later. really basic internet essentials, history and basics so far. not much new yet, but looks somewhat promising. i might stay awake, but itll be tough
9:41 AM

June 2, 2000 something really strange is going on with the pumpkins. it is not going to be a typical break-up i must believe. i think they will be back in another form. there is too much shit everywhere, on their site, in the album lyrics and cover art, in the press conference and just timing in general. "I used to be a little boy, So old in my shoes" always made me think of the time i was wearing shoes too small when i was too small, and i said that every life has some pain in it. i didnt immediately like the pumpkins, they were ok and i wasnt interested in buying an album. that is until i saw them open the first of three shows on the MCIS tour at the then rosement horizon near chicago, which i only went to because a friend had to cancel. it kicked ass. rock the type of zeppelin and the doors brought together. i love how corgan can talk and scream and think to the music, and of course how the band is there to back his ass up. we waited outside to see a glimpse of them as they left, and kinda saw d'arcy. we went to summerfest in milwaukee early to get free tickets to their show, and they played almost exclusively the new album at the time, adore, completely underrated. the cheeseheads around us sucked, wanted to hear everything they had ever heard again through a drunken haze, got really annoyed at my trancing. the end was awesome, RADIOish. then at the world music theater, pretty much the same show, but i believe the ending was different. strange coincidence that the same friend of mine who had to give up his ticket the first time i saw them didnt like the show and left early. i used to think he was a fan of them. so i saw them again at the aragon, got pretty close, but the fans were a problem. it was too scattered, i couldnt rock like i used to. and then i listened to the next night's show on XRT, luckily my bro told me about it. his dad was there. billy? thats my name too. id like to talk to you. so here is how ill do it. everyone else, you can read it too if you want i guess. billy? i wanna talk to you about the rock. maybe its that the middle-ground is fading away. pop and asshole rock have dragged the culture in separate directions. even XRT is getting more commercial. but there is still good stuff around, real rock, you guys, pearl jam, red hot chili peppers. and there is so much indie and punk stuff out there that people like me are turning to to find some salvation. i wonder if the day of the megaband is ending. while it seems to get more commercial, maybe thats like their last breath tortured into a scream. i think technology is bringing it back to the people, and maybe its just that you realize that. and like jesus, you are testing us, wondering if we all really care about the rock and its trancendant power. and you will die in your current incarnation to be born again. a different form, one for a generation of MP3's and all that that entails. where people decide what music they like. where the artist must be one again. did you talk to prince?
7:18 PM

May 31, 2000 my car radio is damn temperamental, work, no work, buttons are useless.
6:39 PM

May 16, 2000 so i got the webcam going, but i now realize that you cant read the blog cause the refresh brings you to the top again. damnit!
2:57 AM

May 15, 2000 went to kansas this weekend, congrats to lena! lots of drinking. yeah. watching it and hearing about what happened at home, it seems people are in such fear. alcohol gives many of them the courage to speak their feelings, a way to explain it away if they feel rejection when they open their mouth. maybe thats why they try to separate themselves from the sober ones. that sucks. these drinking gatherings must feel great, cause they are letting out bottled up feelings. fight club support meetings. course my view is fucked up, outsider looking in. society shuts us up but allows us to pay for one of a number of ways out. instead we should walk out the unlocked doors and refuse to lift another brick. side note: mp3s have made me buy the cd, maybe im the exception. maybe i wouldnt be if cds cost a reasonable amount. didnt the FTC say that was your fault?
12:34 AM

May 11, 2000 it took me less than 20 minutes at the DMV today. thought i should gloat
5:40 PM

May 9, 2000 i asked for rain, and it came in sheets. i tried to take a picture, but it doesnt come out well, and you cant see droplets. aint joni cute? zeppelin, good idea clint. throw in physical, uh huh. wow. pounding zep, grr ooh yeah. the best pure rock band. heard phish for real the first time today, jazzy stories. second listen should solidify it for me. are you ok laura, i feel like the us might be slipping away. we never seem to talk much really, you cant stand my working so much it seems. it fucked up last night, so i get to do it again when we get back. i do love you...but are we meant to be forever? i dont want to tie you down here, you know that is not love to me, it must be free and flowing, subliminal without need, unintentional and whole, what do you want from me that im not giving, i feel that. in my time of dying, lost in it and wet
12:16 AM

and then the song comes back again...kills
12:17 AM

#cough#
12:19 AM

i just saw this and dont know where it will be continually posted, so i thought id put it here too:
Sunday, April 30, 2000 By SHARON UNDERWOOD For the Valley News (White River Junction, VT/Hanover, NH) As the mother of a gay son, I've seen firsthand how cruel and misguided people can be. Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough from you good people. I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda" and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny. My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay. He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other boys. He was called "fag" incessantly, starting when he was 6. In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn't bear to continue living any longer, that he didn't want to be gay and that he couldn't face a life without dignity. You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don't know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn't put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it's about time you started doing that. At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won't get to choose. Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don't know. I can only tell you with an absolute certainty that it is inborn. If you want to tout your own morality, you'd best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I'm puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that's not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can? A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I'll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for "true Vermonters." You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn't give their lives so that the "homosexual agenda" could tear down the principles they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart. He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out, it mattered not at all. That wasn't the measure of the man. You religious folk just can't bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance. How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the sanctity of marriage. You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings. There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin. The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about "those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing" asks: "What ever happened to the idea of striving . . . to be better human beings than we are?" Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that? Sharon Underwood lives in White River Junction, Vt.
7:12 PM

May 8, 2000 so you see in a newspaper that you really didnt mean to buy that an old dairy queen's sign aint coming down cause it has been deemed historic, got an ice cream cone in neon. then you try to buy shoes buy cant cause the times are wrong, store is closed, so you try a creative way home, and see the dairy queen, just as you are thinking this town is pretty with its brown and tan. nothing out of the ord. cept for that sign but it really fits kinda. for some reason, you are listening to son volt cd you didnt mean to be listening to when the lyrics "looking at neon signs, trying to find a meaning" or so come on. yeah forces, like a god, just less specific. the path is good, stop hesitating and worry less kaka.
1:47 AM

May 6, 2000 listening to blink...a note to all who drive: if the lane is ending, and someone is letting you in, please take advantage. i was letting people in today, giving so much space, still people drive right up to the end. genius. football kicked a today. just felt good. wish the DMV didnt suck though, lines around the block. craze. and the Andy Kaufman story was good, man on the moon. made me drop out of myself, not that the fact my girl might be leaving for cali for the summer and longer. back to Kaufman though, neat guy. like morrison, its all about mob, audience, responses. stepping out of life but into the moment, watching people react. fuck my and your self, love life. but then you are always left with the question of who these guys were really, did we see it at all, does it matter. is there a real anything? should there be. staticflux, says no and all the better. you know, he is living in my basement with jimbo.
7:07 PM

May 2, 2000 so this is for matt, i love you, and john too
10:37 PM

April 27, 2000 its late and im still at work, cause i left to see NIN and A Perfect Circle, maynard's side project. damn good. seems APC is an extension in the direction of "Push It" live. deeply introspective and all about true relationship shit. i love that guy. they also covered a Cure song, i know it but not the name. and id never seen NIN before and im sad about that now. their new album is so good, and they mixed it in perfectly with the classic older stuff. they opened by playing the first song off the new album behind a curtain, just shadows. didnt open them till it was over, really neat. yeah, so this was another damn fine show that got me in touch with feelings i needed to explore again. a little mosh, punched in the face. concerts are really my escape, meditation, nirvana.
1:17 AM

tired!
12:31 PM

yep, i must be dumb. 34 people and companies gave Bush Jr. $250,000 each because they simply want good government. no, not preferential treatment. he is amazing, collected more than $20 million at one event. and the NRA support Republicans for the same reason, they just want fair government. there is gonna be a hearing on the elian thing. not because people want one, 68% say no. i guess i dont know why really. i guess cause the issue deserves that much attention. we need to spend more money and time on it. maybe its the same reason we spent so much looking into the president's personal problems. but how dare we waste a dime on welfare or supporting the working poor's healthcare situation. clinton is an evil evil man, right? hate. we are wasting a lot of time and money on it.
10:01 PM

April 25, 2000 the picture is ok for now, but i really dont have anything interesting to say. cept im glad elian is with his dad, and no longer held hostage in this 'free' country. hope he is glad too.
12:53 AM

April 24, 2000 back online, so how are you?
1:27 AM

March 17, 2000 blogger is having tech difficulties huh, hope this posts...leaving tomorrow for a week. need to shave and other jazz.
12:03 PM

!wake up! morrison would scream it out of nowhere, this was the beauty that he was ive gotta get back to that, ive felt asleep for so long, sometimes i blame it on my girlfriend, but is me and my acceptance of the situations that life gives you. the winter is the worst, im dreaming of a summer night spent walking downtown chicago and the beach in the morning. two perfect times at the equinox, at the MCA, leaning on the stage at the metro waiting and then watching, best of friends around, laying in the grass till its time to go in. then a wander through the galleries and downtown chicago, a little diner so busy, back to the museum to fall asleep watching a twisted film, and the long trek back to joe's as the sun came up and beat down. along the beach and the streets. two into one, waiting for number three
7:44 PM

March 15, 2000 doobie doobie do...meant to write this last night, heard Bush pronounce the 's' in Illinois, annoying. gotta get my life together, probably transfer to another cc, Moraine Valley soon, do the address thing and all. hopefully ill score well on the math test tomorrow gotta study tonight, could be done with math kinda forever, or i could just drop it and take programming classes and forget about a degree, sounds like a good idea now, but i need to really talk to someone. oh yeah, stan is back and so work is much better. couldnt get pumpkins tickets cause ticketmaster sucks and so the credit card system at dominicks crashed, they only pay them $.50 a ticket and provide no help, bastards! i think NIN and perfect circle(maynard's new band) tickets go on sale this saturday, and i leave too, woohoo!
6:20 PM

March 13, 2000 havent kept up like i should, but here is a great article on copyrights of ideas in this net world. i may say more of why i havent written as i said i would later, has to do with things coming out like they should but for now they cant. someone else knows. enough already. i did redesign the opening page for damnkids.com, but i still have more work to do. missed math today cause i worked till 2 am. missed a test, so now it all depends on the final...shit!
1:58 PM

March 10, 2000 ok, so the blog thing is doing what i want for the time being, better call my girl
1:04 AM

hi, writing for the first time for real from work. what to say...im bored and glad that hectic work is over. stan comes back very soon, tuesday. yeah, and i leave for HFH work that next saturday. that should rock. is it wrong to go to a bar on company time? even if i dont drink? sxsw seems like somewhere i should be.
5:24 PM