My music

Is it worth anything

Your song surrounds me,
and hope remains
An overwhelming,
distance to brave
keeping steady, keeping strong
Holding tightly to things I've done

I won't let go of all you made
are we standing
when we should be running
are we holding on to a past that's suicide
Have you given up on life

Is it worth the days of suffering
is it worth the price we've paid
Is it worth the pain i've endured
to pay the penalty
Is it worth anything

It's all the same
It's all undone
The days of bliss long lost
I know they're gone

Keeping awake
Keeping strong
Find something to hold on

Is it worth all I've given
Is it worth all I have
Is it worth the love I believed in
or was our love all in my head
Is it worth the pain I feel
Is it worth the days i've lost
Is it worth the shit that I feel I've lost
Is it worth anything

posted by aaron isom at 9:48 PM

Get up and shine
The time of your life
comes to an end

Don't waste you breath
seeking truth in the midst of a liar's den

All you've made
is sure to fade
with the coming dawn

All you've done
will come undone
with the sun

Will you wake up Lacy
Will you wake up soon
Will you stop to think
of what you've turned into

The time has gone
Even if you wanted to
you can't go back again

Don't waste your tears
asking God for another chance

All you've reaped
You know you've sown

posted by aaron isom at 10:06 PM

from the inside

We're all naked
We all fake it
We're all lying
to make it out alive

We're all hopeless
We're all selfish
We're all broken, battered
torn and scarred

It's all frightening
And slightly insane
a tragedy of proportions
rarely seen

The ups and downs that spin me round
side to side-- all fucked up from the inside

fucked up from the inside

Every time I gaze at you
a chill goes down my spine
this sickening nausia at what I see in you
it's you reflecting me...humanity
throw it all away
I can't see hope without a ounce of unity

Fuck you, fuck me, fuck everybody
I'm up, your down, I push you around, I want you on you knees

We're drowning--in one anothers shit
We're choking...choking deep in it
were fading on broken hopless dreams
and we're teaching this shit to our posterity

fucked up from the inside
fucked up from the inside
fucked up from the inside
posted by aaron isom at 9:57 PM

Moment by moment

I'm cold and I'm hungry,
when you take it all from me
and I'm crawling up a new set of stairs

empty hands shaking
from the hurt that you gave me
and the shame that I've carried

and the burden I carry on
and on and on AND on and

It's all i've ever had
These voices in my head

and you'd say that I'm crazy
all sick, tired and lazy,

a fool wrapped up
in dillusions of dispair
in sickening disrepair

a charm to keep me seeming
happy and healthy
a smile to make it look all good

a feign of ignorance
to hide indifference
would you help me even if you could

moment by moment
moment by
Moment by
moment by moment
gotta take is slower still

I'm dingy and dirty,
no love and no worries
bleeding nose flat to the ground

from the hurt that you gave me
and the shit that I've carried

the burden I carry on
and on and on AND on and

it's all i've ever had
with these lies I spin my web
you've made your bed now lie in it

I still can taste it
I can't replace it

in all of this shame
it's a fucked up game
a charm to keep me seeming
happy and healthy

Chorus

I'll make my way
find a place to lay...my weary head

I'm feeling no worries, feeling no shame,
I'm cold and I'm hungry,
stumbling drunk again
and I'm hurting,
hoping,
searching,
groping.
singing
laughing
dying
dancing
flying
crying
moment by
moment by ohhhhh
moment by ohhhh
posted by aaron isom at 10:44 PM

Reprieve

It's some kind of wet dream
better left behind
Is this the last stand
the last stand before I cut and run

Is this the end
of a fight lost long ago
Is this the end of our day
Is'nt this the oddest thing

well

You know
I know,
You know
I know
You know I know you know

Chorus
I need a reprieve
from the day to day

the mundane

I need a l break
from the deadbeat, dropout, deadpan,

you know I'm bored

I need a drink to get me through
Between me and you
I need a reprieve

verse 2
I have'nt heard a word you've said
I'm pretending the whole world is dead
Is this all you've got to show
for chasing after rock and roll

How do I begin to forget
all the things that have'nt been
why are you so HELL BENT
on nothing ever changing

so tell me the name of this game
we may be in jeapordy
talk to me the way you used to
before you got to know I'm old, tired, used, abused,

second hand, black and blue....tattooed you
posted by aaron isom at 2:00 AM

Why are we here

Dear God it's me,
I'm just wondering
Is there anything I can believe
In a world that seems to take everything

Dear God it's me,
I'm trying hard just to breathe
And I'm looking for you down here in everything

Give us an answer,
it's all we seek
A purpose for the emptiness
that makes us weak
Give us some meaning
to make the pain
worth every day we scream to you for hope in vain
Give us some manna,
a holy sign
Give us a burning bush,
or angel to guide
Give us something to tell us that you are alive

Why are we here

Growing up is hard--
in a broken home
with a mother all strung out on valium
running from a father -- with the angry eyes
tries to kill the past in a bottle
tries to drown out the cries
of a thousand failures
that seem to so strong
of a thousand songs
never sung
why are we here

I've prayed to you
on lonely nights
to make me whole
-- to make me right
I searched for you in holy books
but lost you in the frenzy of your imperfect world
I have'nt seen the light
Is this another hopeless plight
Oh God, please tell me
Why are we here.

posted by aaron isom at 1:47 AM

A Stranger to me

Take a walk in the rain
on a february day

try to find a love long lost
since God knows when

Seething cries
in the middle of the night
we lie together miles apart--
It seems our love has died

Chorus

Where'd our love go wrong
Where'd we fall away

Was it all my fault
or is God the one to blame

Falling in and and out
That was never the plan

I'm losing heart
as you slip through my hands

Cause you're a stranger to me

Verse 2
A little girls eyes
may never realize
How love can die
in a home where we never speak

Her heart lies
On the front lines
Of a war we both have waged

And she don't understand--
all the pain behind the lies
How mom and dad can still hold hands--
but never look each other in the eyes

And she don't see
how we both can be
giving up on all we had

Whered our love go wrong --
and whos the one to blame?

we turn from love to hate--
looking for any escape

Break a young girl's heart--
will she ever really understand

you're a stranger to me

I don't want to make the mistake --
make my little girl pay
who's the victim-- who's abused?

I don't want to make amends,
I don't wanna talk no more
I just wanna go back to the place where we first began.

Cause I'm a stranger to you
And you're a stranger to me
you're a stranger to
me you're a stranger to me
you're a stranger to me
posted by aaron isom at 1:15 AM

Viva Las Vegas

Hey baby was'nt Vegas a trip
Too much tequila-- we got married by Elvis
Never thought that's the way it would be
But I never dreamt our love would die so easily

The desert sky shone in bright blue resiliance
You face changed on the way out of Vegas
We both knew it was over on the first day
try to fool ourselves pretend it's all OK hey

VIVA LAS VEGAS, VIVA AMORE
VIVA lAS VEGAS, VIVA AMORE

On the phone over distance and time
You've lost that spark babe, have I lost mine
You just don't shine since that once golden day
You're fear has become a weight and it's drowning me

I remember how insecure you were about everything
I remember how your father disowning you for loving me
I remember your mom as she told me I'd learn to hate your precious face
I remember the our love on x-mas day, I remember everything

Now years later,
do you still blame me
have you seen your actions
Through the eyes of a past revealed

Have you seen the love you have
Run away
Run because it's easier
to deny everything

It's weighing me down
It's doing me in
It's keeping me under
I'm feeling my heart cave in

The desert sky...big and bright
You're a desert rose...running from the only love you've known
I hope you're happy
Alone again
I hope that in Vegas...I will find you again.

posted by aaron isom at 11:20 PM

A song about losing you sense of self, by trying to find it in someone else. And coming back into your own without regret.

Lesson Learned

Hey well I guess that it's over
Guess this is the end
Guess I should take a hint
Stop calling you late at night leaving you messages

Guess the good times are over
Guess it's all just memories
guess I was never the man you wanted me to be

This lesson learned
won't be my last
The first time burned
by your once gentle hand
This lesson learned I won't forget
And I won't regret

Suppose I should stop begging
Suppose I should get off me knees
Suppose I should be a big strong boy
Suppose I should have some dignity
Suppose that life will carry on
Suppose that I'll learn how to love
Suppose that I'll learn how to live
Suppose this lesson will be positive

But I can't forget your face
and I can't forget your eyes
I dream of you every night I lay my head down

I can't forget your voice
and I can't forget your smile
I can't shake this lesson I learned so well

Ill learn to live without you
Learn to stand on my own two feet
I'll learn to forget how your hazel eyes
used to shoot right through me

Will I learn to hate you?
Will I learn to drown the memories?
learn to live without the smile
that was oxygen to me?

Well, I'll learn to forget,
learn to move on
learn how to fake being strong
But I'll never forget I loved you
I'll never forget I loved you
Ill never forget I loved you
I won't forget

I still do.

posted by aaron isom at 11:09 PM

I wrote this song on the I-5 in Cali on the way to San Francisco from L.A. It's a song about having the world stacked up against you...like some huge cosmic prank, and surviving. It's a song written a life spent searching for purpose...and at times giving up. But in the end it's a song about redemption. It's a work in progress, this song has a long way to come.

It's called The rest of my life

Been looking forward to the day I die
Ever since the age of nine
Been licking my chops since seventeen
But I've been left here fucking hungry

Looking up to the sky above
for answers that never, ever come
and lady luck has abandoned me
just rolls the die and scoffs happily

at me

Don't wanna wake up tomorrow
it's a bitter pill to swallow
I don't wanna be me
I can't face anything
whoa oh oh

The rest of my life
is my greatest fear
The rest of my life
is bringing me near
The rest of my life
I can't can't seem to see
The rest of my life
Is mocking me

Been searching for answers to numb this pain
Is it me or the world that's gone insane
I'm looking for hope in the little things
The smile on a child's face
all my lost dreams

All I can do
is look you in the eyes
when my greatest fear
is the rest of my life
When I look in the mirror
I don't want to see
I feel like giving up on everything
Whoa oh oh

But is that your voice I hear
calling me home
Is that a tender kiss
To show me hope
Is there a time
I just can't see
when my life will have some meaning

posted by aaron isom at 10:51 PM

Have you ever been in a moment with someone when you can actually look forward in time, and feel a sense of both great possibility and extreme fear. A moment when ghosts from your past influence decision now, no matter how hard you try to not let that happen. The first half of this song was written in such a moment. A moment of hope and fear. It's a song about confusion, expectancy, and just the torture of just not knowing, and trying to control the uncontrollable. The second half was written in hindsight. It's my tribute to letting the past go and living for every day without fear.

The song is called Hanging On.

Today I saw the future
But I can't discern a thing
Muted and grey
my past decieving me

All I want to know - is how I grew so cold
All I want to be - is everything

Chorus
In the blink of an eye
My world came crashing down
In the second that I faltered
I lost sight of the sound
I'm hanging on your words
with every breath I take
I'm hanging onto nothing
I'm hanging onto nothing
I'm hanging onto nothing
I'm hanging onto you

I'm burying the past
behind these battered doors
bottle up this shit
getting ready to explode
I'm sorry that I hurt you
when I said all those crazy thing
I know it's quite disturbing
to see me, hanging on to nothing
hanging onto you, hanging onto you

Now that we're over
on the flipside again
trying to remember
what a mended heart is
drowning in the promises
I saw in your eyes
and choking on the dreams
That'll never be realized

In the blink of an eye
My world came back again
In the second that you walked away
I reclaimed the man I am
I'm hanging on to memories
Like ghosts inside my head
This is'nt what I wanted
But I'll keep hanging on to nothing.
nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing
posted by aaron isom at 10:29 PM