Home
Archives:
well i'm sick today and i feel like shit cuz i'm sick... bleh... i felt sick yesterday.. i felt worse and worse as time went by until I woke up this morning unable to speak. oh well....
Okay.. well I'm working on a new layout for my website.. getting inspiration to work on erics website some more.
Well I updated my main page this morning at 4am... I'm kind of tired right now.. I dont sleep much. Anyways, this is just my quickie update for the moment.
ok.. so what if i haven't updated this in a while.. not much has been going on actually. I finally met Sabrina. Eric had me get ahold of her a week or so ago to help her make his webpage for his music venture, which happened to become solely my project.. Umm... Oh well, Sabrina is a nice gal... cute too! More girls should be like her - REAL!!!! Too many are concerned about what other people think of them and things like that.... hmm... OH YEAH.. if anyone by some miracle read this, go to Snarko!'s page.. she fuckin rocks.. :)
ok... well there's a constant emptiness that can't be filled.. umm.. depressing as it sounds its weird... all i got to say is one word: PROZAC
Hmm.. well dave is gone.. it will be a bit odd without him around.. it seems that almost everyone i've grown up with in this shitty ass town is leaving... so I'm wondering, what the fruck am I still doing here?! I have a hand full of friends that is still here, but almost all of them are leaving too. Oh well.. something to think about.
come to think about it, i've accepted the fact that life sucks. I just can't accept the fact that there's a shitload of people who don't realize it. People who make their lives sound so interesting and what not, when in reality it's just as pathetic as the next. Oh well. I guess I can put whatever I want here since I'm pretty much the only one that reads it.
I actually took time today to realize something. I analysed the purpose of my existance and i've come out with 2 possible out comes. First and foremost, I think life sucks (mine specifically) and that the point is to live a miserable empty life then die. Now would it be cheating if I took out the middle man and made an early departure? I don't think anyone would notice I was gone....
Second outcome would have to be that if I could get my hands on some anti depressants, I wouldn't have to live my life day by day faking smiles and laughs, and trying to let anyone see through my wall. There's only a few people that are close to me, and even they can't see through the wall. Nothing seems worth my time anymore.
As I was saying, the outcome of life is inevitable. You grow up, sometimes having a miserable time in life, then you die. Those who have a good life and enjoy every aspect on it don't realize they are the ones who make us miserable. What happens after all of that, death!! I must say, the friends I have are great. But sometimes I just need a break from life and reality.