lol, no i'm not on drugs...duh!
posted by sweetass 1/24/2001 07:03:46 PM

everybody is a hypocrite.
posted by [ s h e l l e ] 1/22/2001 11:53:22 PM

first, i say one *true* comment about meeting quote unquote "quota" on william's blog and shannon gets bitchy. okay, who cares.. she said she was in a bitchy mood. fine. i can deal with that. then it's chris telling me he's annoyed because i write "..." so what, big deal, right? afterwards, i see michelle m lecturing that shannon is justified in bitching at me. then along comes william.. who claimed he actually cares about "why you're so upset, michelle" when no, he doesn't; in the end, he gets pissed off at me for being in a crappy mood.

excuse me for having feelings. and you all wonder why i try to keep my emotions locked away. just maybe it's because when i do even attempt at showing anything, i get told "oh, michelle.. you're overreacting" or "michelle, don't be a bitch" when the people telling me this aren't perfect either. and when i don't share my thoughts/feelings/emotions/etc., everyone tells me that it's "unhealthy." so what am i supposed to do?

fuck this.
posted by [ s h e l l e ] 1/22/2001 11:25:51 PM

well...Chrissy I don't write my blogs for you, so if you find them boring that's too damn bad. By the way....my corner job is not just a night job...it's a day job as well. So, get it right, damnit!!! Plus you just wish i really did work on the corner so you could try (and I do mean TRY) to pick me up...so you can get some!

My ummmmmmssss and hummmmmmmssssss are what I do when we fuck....you should know that from last night!!!!!
posted by sweetass 1/22/2001 07:24:08 PM

::yawns hard::
::yawns again::
michelle (the stinkass one, er, i mean sweetass one ::gags::), your posts are so boring. dont quit your day job... no wait, my bad, im sorry, the corner job is a nightly one. :) singing to me? awe, how schweet. NOT. whats with all the ummmmmmssss and hummmmmmmsss? your one brain cell keep skipping like a broken record?
posted by Mr. Smith 1/22/2001 12:21:54 AM

... did y'all see wut shannon s posted up on life just isn't...? does she have to be a bitch about a comment i made? first of all, william *the webmaster of the life just isn't... blog* made it absolutely clear to everybody that they better post once every two weeks and sorry for not keeping track of shannon's damn posts *like i care enough to count* but i haven't seen her post in 2 weeks and if she has, it hasn't been substantial shit.
posted by [ s h e l l e ] 1/22/2001 12:15:17 AM

you make me sick.....i want you and i'm hatin' it.....sorry listening to that song right now ...anyways....hmmmmmm ummmmm hmmmmm ummmmmmm hmmmmmm blah .....hmmmmmmm bye
posted by sweetass 1/21/2001 07:49:34 PM

Take a look at this. It's the Blah Blah Blog. LOL.
posted by Suga Bay Bee 1/21/2001 05:05:44 PM

love is heaven and hell... *sigh*
posted by [ s h e l l e ] 1/20/2001 11:31:53 PM

i'm sorry nick.....i'm sorry that your life is bad right now. I mean if i could change the way you are living...i would do it in a second. I don't want you to not have money....i have offered you help and you didn't take it....and i wish you did or would, cause i care and i don't want you and mary to live like this. I want you to be the thing that you said you would be when you were a little kid. I want all your kid dreams to come true. Cause i know how important that is....i am doing everything to make mine come true...and i wish i could make your life ten times better, and i know you believe i have made it worse.

I'm sorry that you are hurting...i never wanted you to get hurt so much. I wish i could go back in time and do this all over again...maybe i wouldn't have even done it at all...or maybe i would have and done it much better. I wish you didn't put your all into it...and i didn't...cause you ended up hurt, i would love to be in your shoes..and take the pain...so you wouldn't have to go through it. I am sorry for everything..even if that might not mean anything to you.

I don't know why i did the stuff i did with joe...actually there is no reason....i did what i did cause i wanted to....i felt like i was single...and i know you didn't see it that way, even though i told you many of times...but i guess thats life. I can never be like chris or michelle. I need to live my life here and now....i need to be with my b/f...be able to talk to him while staring in his eyes...and call him when i needed him....i need all those things, and i believe you can't and wouldn't give that to me at all..ever. And, i don't blame you....i don't blame anyone....thats just the way it is. You have your life and i have mine...we are very different...taking two different roads. I will always love you...you will always have a place in my heart....but i can't and don't see us ever being together. I hope that we can be friends for a very long time...cause i would never want to give that up for anything. Maybe one day you will forgive me...or not...that's up to you. I am going to work on forgiving myself for putting you through this...and work on my life...and praying you will always be a part of it.
posted by sweetass 1/18/2001 09:01:36 PM

there you are, in a darkened room
and you're all alone, looking out the window
your heart is cold and lost the will to love
like a broken arrow

here i stand in the shadows,
come to me, come to me
can't you see that..

nobody wants to be lonely
nobody wants to cry...
so bad that it hurts inside
i've been waiting for you all of my life
nobody wants to be lonely
so why don't you let me love you...
oh, why... why...
posted by [ s h e l l e ] 1/18/2001 05:36:59 PM

When you're a kid, you were always asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Your response was usually "a doctor", or "a lawyer", or "a teacher". It was always some big respectable high paying job. It was never "a taxi cab driver" or "a maid". You always assumed that you would make it big. That you would be somebody in life... Well what if you're not? What if you wake up one day and realize, "I'm nobody"? You've worked so hard in your lifetime, and for what? Nothing. It didn't get you anywhere. You're actually further back than when you started. Your bills are pilling up, collection agencies are knocking at your door, you have to take your phone off the hook so you don't have to make up excuse after excuse to the bill collectors, as to why you haven't paid them yet. "Your account is 3 months overdue, sir." The next thing you know, you have no power, no water, no heat, nothing. It's all been shut off, due to lack of payment. You can feel your hope just slipping away from you, disappearing into the black hole of oblivion... and you constantly ask yourself, "How did I get myself into this?" This isn't how you imagined your life to be when you were 5, 10, 15 years old. You hate the person you've become... the person you are... the way your life has turned out and it's all because of money. Pieces of paper that control your life. Pieces of paper that we depend on so much, it's sickening. We trust our whole lives on a piece of paper. Is there not something wrong with that?

If your life wasn't ruined enough by pieces of paper, love has to step in and make matters worse. Why do we fall in love? It'll only end up hurting you in the end, in one way or another. Love feels like heaven, and hurts like hell. Exactly. One minute you're so happy, smiling, on cloud 9, and the next minute everything come crashing down around you, and you land flat on your face. Your heart is breaking, and all you can do is sit in disbelief. Sit and think, "This can't be happening to me. This must be some sort of mistake." But it's not. You sit and stare off into nothing as your body numbs to the world around you. Minutes pass by, although they only seem like seconds. Who knows, maybe it is minutes. You can't tell anymore. You're on the verge of a break down; crying that is. You try to hold it in, until something inside you just screams at you and it all spills out. The numbness is suddenly gone and you're a wreck. All you can think about is the heartache... the pain. So many questions race through your mind, yet you can't grasp one long enough to think of an answer. You just sink down and wish you could turn back time. Wish you were a child again, when you had no worries, no concerns, not a care in the world.

After you've calmed yourself down as much as you can, you hit the low point... the depression point. You need somebody to talk to. You wish someobody would just sit and listen and understand and make things all better. You can wish all you want, but it doesn't happen. The first person you want to turn to, you can't think of how to explain things to them. You can't explain how you feel. You've held your feelings inside you your whole life, and you don't know how to tell someone about them. You just keep sitting and thinking, your mind going back and forth between the pain and the trying to figure out how to talk to the person... that is until they snap at you. They already know somewhat of what's going on, and tell you "just get over it." The numbness is back. You can't believe they said that to you. They sounded so cold, so unconcerned, as if they didn't care about you or your feelings.... maybe they don't. Maybe they really don't care about you the way you thought they did. You go back through the process of thinking, and you come to a conclusion. It's time to say goodbye. You don't know for how long... maybe a few days, maybe a few weeks... maybe forever.

I'm sorry for posting in the 2nd person, and for writing all of that. I just needed to express how I feel, and maybe explain a few things, or maybe just bore you out of your mind. You can delete it if you want to Michelle, I'd understand.
posted by Nick 1/17/2001 11:17:35 PM

lol, oh gosh, the entrances into the blog are just wonderful.
posted by [ s h e l l e ] 1/17/2001 10:02:38 PM

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah........thats all i have to say
posted by sweetass 1/17/2001 07:35:11 PM

yes, that's all you are to me, dumbass =P
posted by [ s h e l l e ] 1/17/2001 04:49:54 PM

random people? is that all i am to you? pssh. so we cant talk to each other?
posted by Mr. Smith 1/17/2001 04:48:10 PM

the beginning of blah.blah.blah. random blurbs from random people.
posted by [ s h e l l e ] 1/17/2001 04:39:16 PM