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6.9.2001
My sitemeter is so uninspiring. I question whether I should be blogging to myself... Anyway, though... :) I had a headache, but that's starting to feel better. I'm under way too much social pressure this weekend. [Hint: It doesn't take much to qualify as "way too much" for me. :] Currently it's derived from two little girls...one 6 and one 8...who are staying for the weekend...and every other weekend to come. I'm such a geek, and I am even more of a geek when attempting to relate to children. My cousin of same age [as me], on the other hand, won them over in a few minutes. :< I should just relax and have fun, but I can't. Adults are difficult enough, but children top that by being way too unpredictable and dependent. Some of which could be great qualities without approaching my dysfunctions. A lot of it probably has to do with my unwillingness to take control...I'm totally awkward in the position of an adult...I don't feel like I possess any privelege to talk down to children...I'm one of them. It's complex. :) The worst part is that I feel completely boring and totally lame. But that's not unusual at all. :) One hell of a weblog, huh? :) I can cheat, though, can't I? Esp. since there are no takers. I'll have to get out of my brain whirl and 'net surf a little. Wouldn't that be an incredible improvement to my existence?? : / ...I'll just let things happen. Much needed method for this weekend...*and* it's the only way. Good night, [self]. 6.7.2001
Revamped. One moment to get all of this together, and I will be so on. Thank you, diaryland for the temporary habitat which I so cleverly used to say a whole lot of nothing...then delete it...repeatedly. :) 1.25.2001
I'm so sure my hypothetical devotees are wondering *where* I've been... ?? Bothers me that I'm so trifling. Totally inexperienced. I figure, though, that one has to say a lot of senseless things before they reach a point of saying it well... ? Image conscious, too. Need to modify. Unchain this idiocy that I'm doing such a lame job of obscuring anyway... I actually like to write in bizarre,noncommital language. Mostly because I am noncommital. Leads me to be often misunderstood...or missed entirely. I expect evolution, though. Miraculous increases of entire ideas surfacing in replete nearly grammatic paragraphs... Revelations. It becomes a divine thing that no one is here to watch me awkwardly manipulate the English language... ...or whatever. :) 12.17.2000
Anyway I just don't have great a blogging/web design thing going on. Added to the fact that I constantly want to edit what I say... JavaScript is narl, but somehow I haven't figured out how to use it here...?? (Haven't actually figured out how to use it at all...) Probably totally simple, but I struggle with things like that. Help is nice. :) ...alas, no one is reading. :( Some day I'll elaborate this existence... 11.13.2000
Thinking of hums to the left. To be sure, they've all said better things, but I'm all for accessibility. M I L Q U E? ...Is the epitome of everything unbeautiful about tidy, quick, sweet, flirty things that come in matching colors...and smile a lot. Like me. {smile} Since Nastiness is the new ultimate...I think m i l q u e should embody it. Dirty, wet, gushy, acrid, sweat drenched, bittersweet stuff. The warm hard reality of being a mammal. Of course, some of us are in infinite denial... |
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