Friday, April 27, 2001

12:12.

::What time is it?::

And right on cue i'd turn and gaze right into the unblinking face of my alarm clock; once again caught by the blood-shot glare of the 12:12 that has been haunting me for every single freakin' nite this past week!

Yep, it's time to start sleeping earlier...
posted by j tan 1:20 AM

Tuesday, April 24, 2001

Freakin girls.

It's so amazing how some magically become your friend when they need a favor, or need to talk about their problems. But when that's over, *pOof* the per diem contract of friendship magically expires. I say freakin girls cause well, it only happens to me with a "certain" few. Naw' mean? My guy friends for the most part, are true, they keep it real. But some girl fr-- err...acquaintances i thought i got to know, obviously only needed someone to bitch at; someone to ask a favor from; someone to expound to. Yes, and i happened to be there at the time. Oh lucky me! And for their sake, i consumed their whining and tried to empathize with them. Yet later i find out that it was all for nothing. You see casual conversation was a no-go, it was all about their selfish little problems.

A bright outlook on this? With your pathetic problems; It sucks to be you. ( referring to 'them' of course )

Anyways my friends, this is my bitch of the day.

CORRECTION: or quite literally, THE bitches of the day.
posted by j tan 2:33 PM

Monday, April 16, 2001

It's been awhile.

But I guess the beginning is as good a place to start as any.

My Grandpa Max passed away this month due to the cursed lung cancer. The funeral was held on a rainy Saturday in Forest Lawn. It's weird cause funerals are kind of like family reunions...this is quite literally the only time we all get together as a family, which is sad to say the least...

So as i walked up to pay my last respects, i took one good last look at my grandpa and froze there in suspended animation. Completely lost in time. Flashbacking to when i used to play nintendo in his LA house. Exploring the ghetto part of LA where he lived. Laughing at the jokes he always poked at me. I was proud of him... a handsome man at his age, cut down unexpectedly by his addiction to cigarettes.
Cigarretes.
And in the crush of his palm lay a pack of freakin' cigarettes. What was this? Some kinda sick joke?! I seriously do not understand the sense or morality of this deemed act of respect. After all...in my eyes it's like burying JFK with the bullet that killed him; placing the knife that nearly decapitated nicole brown in her coffin. Come on now.

Spring Brake ( no i did not spell that wrong ) was literally, that slow for me. I spent half the week doing chores just so i could leave the house. The remainder of my days were spent in the boonies ( Palmdale ) where my cousin live. Ahhhhh! 3 days of videogames, movies, sleeping late, and eating. Waitaminute...that's not spring break..that's just my normal week + my cousins.

But anyways, i had fun. Plus, my cousin let me borrow his geetar! whoo hoo!

And let me tell you, that geetar is like my remedy as of late. There's nothing like playing a song on the geetar whose lyrics exactly storytells your day. It's self-therapy i tell ya, and the geetar is in fact the voice of my once mute soul.
posted by j tan 3:05 PM

Thursday, April 05, 2001

Really. The last way i would ever want to be woken up is by hearing my name shouted at full volume.

And for the most trivial reason.

So my step-mom shouted me awake at appoximately 8.10 am and so the following conversation ensued:

"did you eat this ice cream?"
"yess..zz.z..."
"this ice cream was for Kevin's birthday party at school! can't you see it was wrapped up in a grocery bag?!"
" ...zZ... . . z ."

Ok, so well now that by feigning sleep while in trouble can get you away from most things. But today was not an exception. Right when i was about to hit R.E.M. i hear my name being screamed at such an irritating tambre i just had to imitate it back. Yes, that's the way i answer back to 'rents when i've had enough. I imitate them. So in my best fashion, i return the favor and yell back while jumping out of bed.

Whoops :x

Then a full frontal shouting match begins. Me vs. the step-mom. Now don't get me wrong, she's cool and all, but today she just seemed really pissy. It's also my brother's birthday and she was having a helluva time juggling the kids and cake into the van. So yeah, the reason why she shouted was for me to take out the trash, and i did without any further obligation.

Which sucked, cause on the way back, i saw Kevin ( the berfday boy) in the van just looking at me. My heart melted, knowing that this was such a shitty way to start out a birthday. I felt bad... terrible. I looked him in the eye, wished him a happy birthday, and gave im a big hug.

After all what are big brothers for?
posted by j tan 1:25 AM

Tuesday, April 03, 2001

oh boy new April update!

...and what the hell am i doing up @ 5 am? This is what happens when i fall asleep at Borders Bookstore for about 5 hours. Oh yes, and i have a Spanish test i should be studying for. ( i knocked off, once again, ANOTHER lame excuse to be absent ) And so my test was postponed to 9.30 this morning. I think it's time i better start studying ...

What's up with these dreams i'm having...?

posted by j tan 5:06 AM

Monday, April 02, 2001

I waved them off, and sealed the door shut.

The weekend was MINE You see, my 'rents went to Vegas and i pretty much had the whole house to myself. So what did i do? Let's see, being fresh from Glendale and hardly knowing enough people in Cerritos to throw a decent party-- i opted to just go to Glendale.

(Yea, i know i'm weak.)

However life in Glendale, is quite different. It's where i grew up, where all my friends are, and therefore where my heart remains. This is what etches my life, and i love it. This weekend was definitely a keeper.

Friday sucked, no doubt. Merely because i ranked out on a good friend that i was supposed to go kick it with. No seriously, i couldn't help it; i tried to leave my house early but two things pushed me back.

1. a ga-ba-zillion chores. We're talking A to Z's of washing; everything from dishes to cars. Vacuuming and all that fun stuff.
2. traffic. The I 5 fwy slugs 24/7. Even when it's not rush hour, someone always manages to get into an accident!

At least Saturday proved to be winner of the weekend. I got to see my friend whom i previously ranked out on the day before. Oh and then, i went to a funeral. Yeah a funeral...i havn't been to those in a while. I dread them. I hate them. And yet i always go up and look at the corpse. So the person who died was seriously well known, so well known in fact- that the hall where it was held at was where our graduation ceremony took place. And seriously... i mean seriously ( and i shit you not ) there were more people at the funeral than at our graduation! But that was cool...so many people knew the family that you just had to go and pay respects. So even though i never knew the "person" personally, i still felt obliged to go up and pay my respects. And you know what? It's something i don't ever reget doing...but at the same i feel the weight of emotions pile up. And almost always they end up in my head...welling in the form of a tear right behind my eye. It's hard to imagine whats conjured within that tear: fear, love, sorrow, pity, and even anxiousness. Funerals tend to throw me off emotionally...

As Saturday progressed, so did my spirits- and the day skyrocketed from there. As you may or may not know, i'm in this group see- and we perform *Nsync dance routines. So we've been practicing this routine the day before for like hours on end. The catch with our group is that we never have time to come practice, so most of our practicing is done like...the day before the performance. And so we're doing a gig at a coffee shop up in Riverside and basically our whole group was feeling queasy. No it wasn't the spaghetti and hot dogs we ate last night; we just didn't feel prepared. So when we went up and did our thing, it was much to our surprise that we actually did better than we imagined! And the party we performed at was so cool because other people did their thing from Irish folk dancing (you havn't seen it till you've seen a 6'7" guy perform it) to an awesome gujitar/vocal performance.

This girl is so good, it'd be a sin not to start a new paragraph on her alone. I'm serious. No really, i love music- and what i heard coming from her was nothing short of astounding. You know how some people can just rock on the guitar, but their voices just absolutely suck? Well, not from her. HELL NO. This girl's voice was so beautifully melodic, she made the guitar sound bad! I got to talk to her for a bit later on that night. She's just as cool as i thought she'd be! But it's ironic how all the really cool girls seem to be:

A. taken
B. too old/young
C. both

And finally as for Sunday i took my mom out for her birthday lunch at a Japanese restaurant. Very good grub i might add. Then i hit the mall and bought me a pair of some really nice pair of shades : ) I lounged the rest of the afternoon on a couch and woke up just in time for wrestlemania 17. And in case you havn't heard by now, the Rock lost. Damn.

And here i am early Monday morning, tapping away at the trusty keyboard. I could in fact be doing my homework due tomorrow...err..today: a five page integration essay or study for spanish test. Eh...i'll just wake up early and do it...

Doh.
posted by j tan 2:25 AM

Thursday, March 29, 2001

Yes, you may touch me.

Cause for the past few days i've been an extra on the set of Spiderman the Movie. Shooooooooot....being an extra is tough stuff! Not to mention that they trick you to actually BE an extra. On the flyer it said "see Kirsten dunst!" Was she there? Hellno! Eh, they made up (at least tried to) by swinging spiderman and his arch-nemesis green goblin by the set : )

So i expected it to be all glitz and glamour.. yunno, just like in the movies. Dude, it was not even like that- we spent the whole day hot and miserable in sunny california, but get this: the scene is set in chilly New York! So yeah, you could imagine us all sweaty and stuffs under layers of clothing. Add to that we have to run away from Green Goblin bombs and falling debris and you get dust, sweltering heat, and smelly sweat surrounding you. Doesn't smell or feel to pleasant after about 8 hours....trust me.

Don't get me wrong though, pushing and shoving people you've never seen before can actually be great fun. Also the fact that you're going to be in a movie kind of makes you excited. Of course, to each extra we'll each be famous ( in our own insignificant eyes ), i mean...who's actually gonna be watching each single extra? So that's why i decided to get a little bit more camera attention by:

1. hogging the camera by running in circles in front of the camera's field of vision
2. wearing a very visible red
3. making very abrubt movements with my very long arms

SOoOoo..with THAT said, look for the very guy in the red fleece sweatshirt screaming like a girl and running past the camera about 8,234,923 times ^_^

dreams like this one seriously SUCK. foreal.
posted by j tan 12:36 AM