i have nothing to hide...
8.7.2000
whoa, its been a week since i bitch about life here...hmm...well...today is a holiday...no work (yay) and donated blood...i like doing that, dunno why...my weekend was pretty cool...saturday went to work, then went to peel pub and turbo w/dave and his friends...kathy and her bf also came to meet up w/ us...it was fun
posted by heLen * 9:46:40 PM
7.30.2000
i feel neglected easily
posted by heLen * 3:43:13 AM
what do i lack in my life?...i need to find out...because i need to make some changes...because...i am not as happy as i could be...havent experiences pure happiness in a long time...i...totally...completely...misses it...
posted by heLen * 3:42:12 AM
insecure me...very insecure...why?
posted by heLen * 3:40:47 AM
btw, scary movie is the worse movie ever made
posted by heLen * 3:38:15 AM
why hide? it gives me a sense of control...knowing that...not every bit of my thoughts is exposed...and that...there ARE things that only me know...
posted by heLen * 3:31:59 AM
world domination is my dream...hahahahaha
posted by heLen * 3:30:20 AM
at times like this...i ask myself...what does my life consists of? is there a meaning to why i exist? i am not sure anymore...are we simply just robots controlled by the greater minds...we work...and work...and work...but, for what? ...at the end, we will leave with nothing...
posted by heLen * 3:25:46 AM
smtimes i cant tell u how much i hate my life and everything around me...smtimes...i just want to live in the moment forever
posted by heLen * 3:23:45 AM
7.29.2000
maybe smthing good will happen soon...or else ill feel dead
posted by heLen * 12:20:50 PM
i feel sick...like i will fall down any minute...
posted by heLen * 12:19:58 PM
i feel sick...like i will fall down any minute...
posted by heLen * 12:19:57 PM
at one point...it felt like everything in my life was going good...that its almost perfect...now...its just bad...
posted by heLen * 12:19:33 PM
once again i am down...i hate feeling lonely...it feels like everyone is going up while i am on my way down...its sad really...
posted by heLen * 12:18:10 PM
7.27.2000
let see...did i do anything terribly exciting for the past 3 days? hmm...monday...i went to ryerson, eaton center...then at night i went to jack astors with jack...tuesday went to stc w/angie...then saw xmen with dave...it was a good movie :D wednesday...went to christie with angie...got a korean bbt (ha! i got angies green apple and she paid too...ha! :p) and then went to carl's house...then went to presidents ...smoked 7 marlboro menthols in a row...i feel addicted...but i feel sick now...
posted by heLen * 2:05:03 AM
carl had a party today...i went at 9...i got home at 9:40...ha! im a party pooper...well...i felt very uncomfortable there -_- ppl i dun talk to...ppl i know nothing about...and ppl i probably will never become friends with for the rest of my life...so...why bother ~~ i called freeman to go shoot pool...that was so much nicer...then peter and thomas came...then linda...ha! i was pretty hyper...and louder than usual...i think i scared the guys...
posted by heLen * 2:01:01 AM
7.23.2000
after today...sunday...i dun have to work until thursday! yay...and friday is off too...im excited :D ill go down to ryerson to pay my fees one day...walk to esprit at eaton center to see if theres anything exciting...my plans also include finally buying those gucci sunglasses i really wanted (still cant decide between spending 180 on that...or the 10 dollar ones) and also get my butt down to the art gallery...see if theres any new exibit...and...i dunno what else to do...going to see a movie with dave on tuesday...piano lesson on tuesday...which reminds me, i gotta practice soon...
posted by heLen * 10:07:30 AM
7.14.2000
you dont need me here...it doesnt make a difference...so...why bother....
posted by heLen * 2:49:19 AM
im sitting here...and tears are just...coming out of my eyes...and it feels so good...to know that i am alive...because it feels like i am alive...as opposed to...the robot that i feel like i am...leading my life...the same way everyone else is...i have no life...
posted by heLen * 2:46:41 AM
give me a reason for living...a goal in life...i feel empty...my life is consist of the same fucking patterns...go through the same things...same routines..and...i want to break this pattern
posted by heLen * 2:28:34 AM
7.12.2000
everyone has a dream...what is mine?
posted by heLen * 1:54:54 AM
went to meet dave at fairview today...he gave me a wicked tape...
posted by heLen * 1:54:42 AM
maybe...ill get over it...
posted by heLen * 1:54:09 AM
it feels so pathetic being me...why? i dunno...sure, everything seems right...but i feel all err and just want to get away from it all...fuck it...i want to take a couple of days off to do nothing...i gotta get away from everyone...i just gotta...
posted by heLen * 1:53:43 AM
7.10.2000
my computer is making loud noises again...fuck
posted by heLen * 12:46:08 AM
