"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it."
~Edith Wharton


The Catcher in the Rye
~J.D. Salinger


No Name Face
~Lifehouse


how now, brownpau?
have a nice day.
the dillama project
sharon's site
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awakening


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9.12.2001

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.

Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance,
fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing, electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

~Maya Angelou


reflected Silvergirl at 8:06 PM* link


reflected Silvergirl at 7:32 PM* link

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9.11.2001

Not unlike other twenty-somethings, civic pride is not something I often felt myself brimming with. America: just this place where I live that is supposed to be so much better than anywhere else. America: land of freedom and opportunity. It is not unusual for those of us who were born in times of peace, to not understand what our land, our brothers and sisters, our country is supposed to mean. Each day we see aftermath of unspeakable horror that dots the eastern continent like spots on an orange. The crumbled remains of apartment high-rises in some unpronouncable city in some where-is-that country; burned-out, bombed-out charred remains of cars; women in tatters, clutching photos, weeping into aprons; rows of camo-clad men touting posters and pistols. These images flash across our evening news, across our living rooms, across our dinner plates. "Tsk tsk" we chide. "Oh, how awful" we quip. "So, what do you want to watch tonight, dear? Friends or Frasier?" That's all.

That's all until it is our backyard that is blown to bits. What do you feel when you see an image on live news that has only been seen in a movie theater? What do you feel when you see a man jump from a 20th floor because he can't breath the toxic fumes of death and jet fuel any longer? What do you feel when the heat of fire and the bruising of propelled debris is only separated from you by a picture tube? How do you push back the sickness in your throat, the hard knot of fear in your stomach, and the agonizing fountain of tears behind your eyes? We raise our fists in the air and want nothing more than vengeance.

The United States weeps today. The United States lowers its head and feels the pain that so many others have. The United States has been battered before and has fought back. Let us all pray that when we get up off the ground, the ones responsible for this tradegy will freeze to death in the dark shadow of our presence.

reflected Silvergirl at 2:39 PM* link

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8.27.2001

It's been awhile since I updated this blog. When life is throwing curveballs, there isn't much time to do anything but duck and swing. Actually, things have been going very well lately. The move is still in progress, but God is paving our way. It is amazing! Despite having to leave school, I find myself looking forward to a "fresh start." Though we will be staying with my family temporarily, I am happy to have them there to help us. It will be so great to be "in the loop" again. We have been away from my family for so long. I moved out of the little town in 1995. I was thinking about how strange it will be to be living in my hometown again. Like an outsider, but not. Justin isn't from there, but loves it. He was raised in Tacoma, Washington, which is a large, ugly city. I think he will adapt very well to small town life. No speed limit over 25 mph. No mall. One Safeway, one Albertson's, one McDonalds, one 7-11. Mostly peace and a much more laid-back way of life.

As I mentioned before, things have been going smoothly. Now, if only Justin could get the job that we so desperately are praying for. It would be such a wonderful opportunity. I can't wait to get there and get settled into a new routine. Hopefully this journal will begin to be infused with some life and wit and commentary--not just mindless, boring chatter. For the few who come here and read....I apologize for my recent malaise.

reflected Silvergirl at 11:04 PM* link

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8.19.2001

Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah! Bleh Blee Blah Bloo.

We are moving in 4 weeks. Accepted an offer, signed a thousand papers, collecting boxes. It is SO damn sad and so damn frustrating. But at the same time, I KNOW God is working in our lives right now. Though I cry when I look at my house, the little things like my windowboxes and my backyard trees, I can feel that this is the right thing to do. How strange, to have your heart ripped out but know it is for the best. A crazy juxtaposition.

But Buddhists are right: material things only bring misery. Because leaving my sweet little house seems the hardest thing I have ever done.

reflected Silvergirl at 12:41 AM* link

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