Steph/Albino Gorilla

Sunday, September 16, 2001

Um, if you caught that last blog (that I just deleted) try to forget it. It was the estrogen imbalance talking.
posted by steph 9:53 PM

Saturday, September 15, 2001

I think Angela's planning some sort of thing for my birthday on Saturday (but the thing's on Friday night). It's not exactly a surprise party because I was in the car w/ her when she came up with the idea. I'm not sure if I'm completely down with it. I'm not exactly the type of person that clammers for attention. I don't even like being the center of attention with groups of more than 4. I start to feel uncomfortable. Plus, it's so much trouble for everyone. It's kind of late notice, a bit far from where everyone lives....and a sort of mutual friend is moving the next day (saturday) so people going to help her might not be able to do what Ang & I had previously planned. I went to friend's surprise birthday party last year and a couple of people were there out of obligation. She wasn't very well acquainted with them but they came anyway. I don't want that. I don't want people to feel like they're obligated to come. I'd rather they not come, in fact. Their presence would sadden me. At the same time lots of people being there would be cool...as long as the focus wasn't on me. It'd be totally fine if they were just there to hang out and have a good time. I enjoy watching people having good times.
posted by steph 2:38 AM

Thursday, September 13, 2001

What is that crap below? Ah, well, i've got some new photos up. Yesterday, Henry, Haily and I spent a fun day (that I personally deemed Haily Day) in Irvine. We went to Palace Park (fun center w/ mini golf, batting cages, go carts, arcade) then to Ralphs, and back to my place to eat some dinner. No, fish nuggets do not belong in spaghetti sauce, my friend. Anyway, I've got some pictures that correspond to yesterday's activities here: Haily Day 1 (15 photos) and Haily Day 2 (17 photos). Enjoy!
posted by steph 7:12 PM

Tuesday, September 11, 2001

"I saw him today and it tore me up inside. He was standing there like a noble knight, his street clothes his armor, the keys in his hand his lance. But I was not the fair maiden in this story, no. I was the lowly street urchin begging for crumbs, anything he'd throw my way I would accept with great humility. Does he know how much it aches when I see him? To fancy, to think, to imagine an impossible future with him? Yet, when I picture our happiness together, a part of me knows it's just creative license. The romantic in me yearns to beg, to cajole, for my heart to speak to his. But the realist in me knows that it can never be. Hearts have been broken, I have been broken, and I cannot trust again, though I truly want to. My past has spoiled my present, the present ruins the future. So when I slide into sleep tonight I dream of him. I reach out to touch him, and my hands awaken, empty. Like my heart."
LOL. I'm in a rotten mood tonight so I had to write a parody of all those angst-ridden jerks that complain in that spooky pronoun language. Honestly, HE most likely knows who you're talking about, so just say his damn name. Ridiculous. Get over it.
I'm not much for failure. I suppose I should be use to it by now, but dammit, I put effort into the game! I don't know, I guess I was frustrated....and I'm terrible company when I'm frustrated. I hate bowling but I need to redeem myself. I need to convince myself that not being tops at bowling doesn't mean I'm not good at anything. But the "failure" list of life keeps getting longer. Anyway, I drank a papaya milk afterwards and that calmed me down considerably. The sweet creamy goodness made me feel infantile. I wanted to get a soft blanket and take a nap. I think they put LSD in my cup.
posted by steph 1:47 AM

Saturday, September 08, 2001

I'm back from Vegas. Lots of buffets, three days without counter-strike (today makes it a fourth, how will I live?), and tons of driving. But yeah, I'm back and I'm at Linda's house writing this. She's knitting a sexy little cornflower blue scarf for her winter endeavors. We ran some errands today--I returned $44 worth of merchandise today, but I spent that much on other stuff. We also went to Walmart to buy some paint and I have a particularly frustrating story to tell. Okay, so Linda and I were looking for a parking space and I find this really great one right next to the handicap space so it's prime, you know. So I'm sitting there waiting for them to back out, when this black saucy lady in a teal Taurus rounds the corner and steals my spot. BITCH. Linda opened her window and screamed, "That was our fucking space!" and the lady goes, "Tough!" and she took her 5 year old son out of the car and walked toward the entrance. Then there were a couple of youngish asian boys in a silver mitsubishi that kept following us because they wanted to see some action/fight/conflict. Anyway, so I shook my keys at the lady's son as they were walking away and he mouthed, "You talking to me?" because I was sort of hinting that I would key their ghetto-ass car. Yeah, I turned around and as we passed the Asian boys I mouthed to them, "What're you looking at?" and they laughed. I found another parking space further down the lane but I screamed a very frustrated scream and Linda screamed along with me and we scared some hispanic people nearby. So I parked and we got out of the car when a police cruiser drives and asked us why we screamed. Afraid that I would be carted off to prison, I told, them that a lady stole our parking space when I had it completely. And he asked why I screamed and I told him I was frustrated. He was a pompous jerk about it. Jerk.
I have all this pent up anger that I need to release. I could do my usual and wreak some havoc in a chatroom but I think it'd be much more satisfying to kill people. In a computer game, that is. Yep, I need to feed my counterstrike addiction. First I need to get the game, then I have to install it....but wouldn't it be better to just go to a place like e-games and just kill kill kill? But it's no fun w/o a purpose, w/o a goal, a person to kill. When I was up north my cousins and I went to these internet gaming centers. Some of my fondest memories were spent there shooting people. I'm going to have to get chummy with a first year and steal her T1 connection.
posted by steph 10:49 PM

Saturday, September 01, 2001

GREENWOOD marmalade
Greenwood is for a groumet who is sensitive to nature. Open this and you can feel and hear a forest breeze. The forest's fresh air gives Greenwood its gentle flavor.

WHITY drink
A delicious drink born from a blend of know-how acquired over many years and advanced production tenchnology....a drink you are sure to enjoy.

ORCHARD STORY COLOGNE
Nuts Taste
posted by steph 3:18 PM

FISH HAM
Fish ham is made by special Japanese techniques and has been enjoyed in Japan for more than 35 years. It has become very popular recently due to a renewed interest in low fat, low calorie health foods.

HI-SOFT yogurt sour milk
The reviving taste of natural will refresh you, mouthful by mouthful.

Cheddar Cheese Candy
This candy has made a reproduction of the nice flavor and rich taste of cheddar cheese.

WET MOUSSE SUPER DRY RECIPE
A new concept in self-care, a complete plan to shape up a man's looks, set up a man's hair, tone up a man's appeal."

HONEY & LEMON candy
Take in reverse! Double Deposit candy.

KOEDA TWIG CHOCOLATE
A lovely and tiny twig Koeda is a heroine's treasure chocolate born in the forest. The sentimental taste is cozy for the heroine's in the town.

FRANK FURTER SAUSAGE
As soon as you open this can, your delicious meal is ready. Have a great time.

WHITE WATER CANDY
Water feeling powder is in the center of the white candy. Round blue chips are around it. Pretty, cute candy.

FIT FIX HOT IN SPA
Creates a healthy bath with crude drugs that induce and accelerate perspiration. (Quasi-drug)

AMAND-KISS ALMOND & PEANUT CANDY
It includes much fragrant crushed almond and peanut inside just roasted, whose shape is like natural peanut. We think we can say this is only real nut candy.

posted by steph 12:00 PM

Tuesday, August 28, 2001

Hiya. I'm having grips of fun up here. I'm getting to know a couple of my cousin (ages 8 and 4) and they're dolls. Pics coming soon, I hope. And I found the sheep!!
posted by steph 10:43 PM