It's happening again. I'm having trouble posting. This is my last blogger post. From now on, go to www.livejournal.com/users/sophy
Bleach your hair; Clean the sink
So, uh, yea, I bleached my hair. Let's just say I should not consider a career in cosmetology. I didn't even bother with the blue because this looks weird enough as it is. It's a mixture of browns, yellows, and oranges all blended together. I kind of like it, but it does look rather ridiculous.
The cool thing is that after rinsing my bleached hair in the sink, the sink now looks cleaner. Yay for bleach!
posted by rosemary amico 3/23/2001 12:46:40 PM
Blogger: I tried for three days to post the below post. I don’t know if the problem was with blogger or with yahoo-geocities. Either way, I’m sick of this happening all the time. I’m very close to giving up on the blog and just using my live journal. If I do, don’t worry… I will provide the necessary links and warnings.
Eyes: I woke up early this morning, and as per usual with me, could not go back to sleep. I realized that this is one other way in which the trouble closing my eyes thing affects me. Once I’m awake, I’m up, and the main reason for this is that if I open my eyes, I cannot just close them and fall back asleep.
Work: I hate to say this. I mean, I really hate to say this. But, I love my job. It’s a good thing, you know, because I’m basically working full time hours there now. But it’s terrifying to accept that I actually enjoy this stuff. Don’t get me wrong – my boss still makes me twitch. But, the rest of the job is great.
Sex: Dave and I are going to this thing at my church this weekend. It’s a sexuality workshop about “Celebrating Sex & Spirit: An Introductory Workshop on Sacred Sexualities.” I’m nervous about how I will react to it all. The next day is a lecture on similar topics, which will be fine. Add into the nervousness that my mother is attending the workshop. Hmmm.
Exercise: I’ve gotten back into a regular routine. It feels good. My appetite is even normalizing again a bit.
Cat: She is naughty. I cannot make her behave. Nothing I have tried … water bottles, even lightly hitting her… has worked. She just keeps doing whatever it is I don’t want her to do. I know that, in part, it’s for attention, but I can’t very well sit there and let her scratch up the carpet and chew on my glasses, now can I?
People: I have amazing people in my life. I’m always grateful for that.
Dave: He’s one of them. We’re working through some more difficult stuff right now. We had a big talk last night, and after thinking some on it, I know I need to talk more about it – hopefully this weekend some time.
Charmed life: I have said it before, and I’ll say it again. I really do lead a charmed life. This working full time at my job thing just fell into my lap at exactly the right time. This stuff is always happening to me. Just when I need something, it falls into my lap. I hope the same thing happens with our apartment search. We need an August 1st opening, and we also want to live close to the downtown area. Not a good match.
Backgammon: I have become obsessed with this game. When I first started playing it, I was horrible at it and it depressed me something awful to keep losing. I love a challenge, however, and have gotten myself good enough that I win at the intermediate level about half the time now. Soon, I will be backgammon expert. Yeehaw.
posted by rosemary amico 3/23/2001 09:47:34 AM
(this was supposed to post yesterday and didnt)
I'm exhausted. Remember back a week and a half ago when I said I needed a Me Day because I had things planned every day for awhile? Yea. Well, I'm done with my work marathon, but I still have every day planned for another long while. Plus, I'm working almost every day now anyway because I'm expanding my hours at work so that I don't have to take on a second job.
I'm tired. But I still love you.
posted by rosemary amico 3/20/2001 11:09:15 AM
Work: I have a day off tomorrow! And then two more shifts and my marathon is over.
My boss has offered a possibility of my getting more hours there instead of getting a second job. This would be good in that I wont have to look for another job, wouldn’t have to worry about juggling two different schedules, and I get paid more there than I would probably anywhere else.
It would be bad in that it would be more time there. It’s probably worth it, though. I will try and work out the details.
Movie: Just went to see Before Night Falls. Terrific direction. Go see it. Added bonus: Johnny Depp in drag.
Weekend: Michelley is going to be here tomorrow and my apartment is a mess and I don’t know if Jill is coming or not, yet, and I don’t have any plans nailed down and I’m stressing.
But I will trust that we will have amazing fun and let go.
When it’s over. Ha.
Dave: You’re a doll. I don’t say that enough. I mean it, though.
Friends: I kind of like having more casual friends. Most of my friends are deep, close, personal friends. That rocks. But it’s nice, sometimes, to go out with people, and at the end of the night just wave and say “see ya later.”
Dreams: Crazy dreams every night. Barely any real memory of what they are. Sub-conscious… what are you trying to tell me?!
Shopping: I bought birthday presents for my three loverley Taurus’s today. I spent way too much money. To be perfectly honest, I spent even more on Angie. I’m rationalizing it by saying that some of Shayla’s birthday present is the money I’m going to send her to help her move, and that Matt pretty much buys whatever he likes anyway, so he’s hard to shop for. But, really, I just found the perfect gifts for them all and Angie’s was more expensive and I fretted over it for a good twenty minutes and then decided just to go ahead and do it.
I’m waiting until Shayla gets to Madtown to give them the gifts, cuz they are kind of theme gifts, and I wanna give them all out at once.
I have two main dilemmas about this plan, though. 1) I have to keep them out of A Room of One’s Own until then. 2) I have to keep myself from keeping the gifts. Hee.
Therapy: I had therapy today. I cried a lot. Again. It was all kinds of good for me, though. I was able to do a guided imagery for longer than I’ve ever been able to before, so that was cool.
One thing I discovered was that I have never been comfortable closing my eyes for long periods of time. I even kiss with my eyes open. This totally explains my problems getting to sleep at night and why I need the TV to put me to bed. Duh. This took me 25 years to figure out??
posted by rosemary amico 3/17/2001 01:39:40 AM
I'm currently on shift five of my nine shift marathon. I thought this was going to be stresful and tough, but it's not. I could do this all the time and not be phased. Interesting. It was just school that was stressing me out. This gives me hope for getting a second job and not flipping out about it. Woo.
I went to Fetish Night last night. Good time. It has to be the one place where I don't feel icky about looking at sexy people - openly. Plus, Kara and Adam are always fun people to be around. Kara had her car tonight, so I didn't have to walk the thirty minutes home in the middle of the night, so that was nice.
Michelle is coming to visit this weekend. I'm excited, but also a little bit stressed. First, there's the whole visitor in my apartment thing, and then there's just the stress of trying to pack in all of the fun and talking and stuff as we can into three short days. Jill might even be in town that weekend, which will add all sorts of extra excitment and stress. Oh, the joys of being me.
Today I read the first few chapters of The Deep End of the Ocean. I've decided that while the movie was marginally well done, the novel is very well done. It just kind of sucks you in and doesn't let you go, as you spin around the main character's own emotions and thought processes. That's good stuff. I want to be able to do that, too.
I also practiced reading some of my poetry aloud to get ready for the open mic night next week. I think I sound good, but I haven't done anything like this since forensics seven years ago, and I've never done it with my own poetry. I want to practice in front of people. Who wants to be my guinea pigs?!
We're having a horrible shift at work right now. I'm not pleased, but I'm not as broken up about it was I was earlier in the week. I guess I'm getting over that bad spot, then. Good.
posted by rosemary amico 3/14/2001 08:17:31 PM
Gag me with a spoon!
I have this bizarre gagging reflex. It occurs about half of the time when I brush my teeth and it's happened every time I've ever tried to give a blow job. I have always had trouble taking pills, and even sometimes gag on chewable vitamins.
However, I can eat large amounts of food and chug large amount of liquid at a time. That seems strange to me.
posted by rosemary amico 3/13/2001 12:12:46 PM
Cat: On my way home from work tonight, I saw this cat. A really scrawny cat. As tiny as Cleo was when I first got her. She was trying to hide under a step at first, but I was saying things like “Hey, kitty, how are you, honey?” and she came out and started to just yowl. It was a painful kind of yowl, like maybe she hadn’t been home in days. At one point, she even started running after me, as if to ask if I would please take her home with me. I thought my heart would break. I wanted to scoop the poor thing up and take her home, and probably would have, had it not been for two things: I have a very tiny apartment and she might already belong to someone who is desperately searching for her. I hope she finds her way back home, or to a new home if she doesn’t already have one.
Sadness: I’ve come up with five reasons why I’ve been feeling so yuck lately.
1. I switched from Mountain Dew to green tea. I know this will be better for me in the long run, but the change in daily chemicals is taking it’s toll on me.
2. My period. I’m not usually this emotional for this long, but it has been known to happen.
3. Normal sadness. I’m just not used to feeling sad because in the past I’ve always either blocked it out or gone way down into a depressive funk. Feeling normal periods of sadness is new to me, so I’m just getting used to how that feels.
4. Drastic changes in the weather, which occurs every spring, wrecks havoc to my system in numerous ways.
5. The unearthing of new inner child issues to deal with. Always messy stuff, emotionally speaking.
Path: Life is a journey, and I believe that the point is to enjoy the path as much as possible. I’m going to keep doing that.
posted by rosemary amico 3/12/2001 11:03:33 PM
Today was a very good day. Although Angie and I didn't go out last night, we did spend time together today and it did, in fact, cheer me up to do so.
We watched the movie "Dream A Little Dream" from the eighties and I was so excited because I used to be so obsessed with that movie, but hadn't seen it in probably ten years. It's now all in my head again and I want it a copy of it, and I want the soundtrack on CD and Yay!
Tonight is a better shift at work than we've had in some time, too, so that's exciting.
I'm hungry. What's new?
posted by rosemary amico 3/12/2001 07:15:33 PM
I'm at work. I'm frustrated. I wont get into why right now. I just am.
Luckily, I'm meeting Angie after work. This will cheer me up.
Annie called me last night, which was great since we haven't talked in forver. I love that girl.
Dave: Yea, I probably should have called, but my mind was all clouded over and stuff. We'll talk soon. Love you.
posted by rosemary amico 3/11/2001 07:31:06 PM