my song of the moment: "longing town" by duncan sheik on his phantom moon cd

"wind tell her lightly,
all that we might be,
while i sit, nightly,

watching the shadows drifting down.
twilight descends so blue, so brown,
and longing begins in this longing town. . ."

for some reason i am compelled to listen to it over and over again.

heidi 12:04 AM

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4.26.2001

check out the fine art we are studying

i need one of these for my living room.

heidi 10:34 PM

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i had a bad dream a while ago that my mom took me sweater shopping.

i love my mom more than anything, but shopping with her is not my favorite thing. her ideas about what is cute are a Lot different than mine. she does drag me out shopping with her on occasion when she starts to think my wardrobe is especially pathetic. she is probably right about its being pathetic, but the last time she took me shopping she took me into an old lady store where all of the clothes had pictures of tree houses, and butterflies etc. embroidered on them. then she bought me three sweaters equiped with lineman sized shoulder pads.

thus the nightmares.

heidi 10:07 PM

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3.31.2001

anything made with chicken and portabello mushrooms has to be good

heidi 12:08 AM

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3.28.2001

i am being stalked over the phone. some creepy guy with a middle eastern accent keeps calling me, and says he lives in my building. he called me just before spring break at 2:30 in the morning and wanted to come over! apparently he has been calling everyone else in my hall too, and we are all kinda freaked out because he knows where we live. i didn't think too much about it at first because he sounded confused like he had a wrong number or something. i am way too nice so i actually had a conversation with him. i sort of thought it was funny at first, but now it is starting to scare me. after a while i started telling him i wasn't home when he called and then today i finally told him not to call anymore.

so if i disappear in the middle of the night. . . . .

heidi 6:49 PM

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3.25.2001

the idea of you meets the idea of me and then reality kicks in

i'm sure that i knew it was you at first glance, but i was too petrified to say anything. my hands were shaking. i was so afraid that when you and i met that i would be a huge disappointment. what if i couldn't live up to your idea of me? maybe i didn't > i realize that i'm insane.

thank you for being so good to me.

now i am back to holding the idea of you, and that is a feeling of disappointment that i hadn't really expected.

heidi 8:12 PM

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3.14.2001

the other night i had a dream that i got a $3,308.00 parking ticket.

2 more days until spring break

heidi 7:32 PM

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3.9.2001

awwww. . . dadji

how cool is my dad?

heidi 7:08 PM

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