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9.16.2001
well, its happened. i was at cvs today, picking up mousse. i was on my way to madhavis arangetram, so i was decked out, in a sari, the bangles, the jewels an links. im in line, and behind me i hear someone mutter "way to assimilate." i whipped around, and said "excuse me?" ruddyfaced sandyhaired white male personage. didnt look me in the eye. went from 0 to 60 furiousmilesperhour like [snaps] that. "what and then i lost it, and i flicked him off. the whole store was staring at me as i stomped out. actually, when i think about it now, i keep laughing. it was so lame, and so random, and i overreacted so badly......hahahahaha [sniff] 9.15.2001
the finest part of mankind in the crucible test shows itself. im sure all those people yelling "nuke the fuckers" havent seen the photos of the shrine set up by the palestinians. flowers, candles, an american flag, and tears. on another site, i read a statement from an afghani writer. ill paraphrase the line that hit home:: "if the taliban are the nazis, and bin laden is hitler, then what can you call the afghan people but the jews in the concentration camps? do you honestly think that bombing the shit out of a country that lies in ruins will do anything more than stir up a dust cloud in the rubble? how can you punish defenseless people who live in fear and entropy?"
like i said, earwigs. im so offended and horrified that its laughable. id laugh, but im so offended and horrified. faugh!
waynes 9_14_01 post [scrolldown, its in the bottom half of the post] is the most eloquent summation ever of how deeply the tragedy affects all of us. we will never know what the people on the planes, in the towers, in the pentagon, fighting the fire, would have been in our lives, what we could have been in their lives. there are enormous gaping cancerholes in the great chain of being. then there are people graffiting mosques in atlanta. "theyre just angry, theyll be rational later" BULLSHIT. 911 day was a crucible. its bringing out the best and worst of human nature, and right now, a whole lot of earwigs and worms that masquerade as men and women are crawling from the depths, using jingoistic anger to excuse themselves and their hate [hate of the same kind as the terrorists], to terrorise on a smaller scale with impunity. the worst of human nature. people who dont even know where afghanistan is are bellowing "nuuuke dem fuckers". people who call themselves objective say that the us deserved it. thats a crock of shit as well. THIS WAS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY. its the world against terrorism. i dont think bombing the hell out of afghanistan is the answer. neither, however, do i think that a totally peaceful solution will work. i dont know what we should do, and i dont claim to. all i know is that i really know nothing at all about this, when it all boils down to essence.
oh dear i was editing a misspellage in yesterdays post, and the whole thing vanished digby and me we have the coolest secret handshake it involves imaginary glowsticks in 6 hours my mom will be here to pick me up im going home this weekend i cant get any work done here and if i dont come home evry other weekend methinks ill fail outt plus i am so sic [sic] of the food but right now i dont want her to come im hung over bleah everything tastes like toothbrushes 9.14.2001
it is time to dole out props [i feel like scrooj macduck yknow, with the spats and the webbigail and all] from the propsbin i swim/with a silverslick fin anyhow props to mattstein. hes a finehearted finefeathered finesouled fine finnegan, ee is ee is. putterupperwith of all my shit, fixer of my flopflip [a silversticked cobbler], a friend protector boyscouted campfired brotherman. like a famblymember to me. babycakes. ~lovevibe~ props to dannOn. best roommate ever. also a putterupperwith. fishmaker creative ingenious ingenue. and mor! even if her brother-is in my bed-NUUUUUUUUUUDE. E-squared! props to andrew. madprops. props for listening to me blather about carnatic music for an hour. props for being in a band. props for introducing me to jeff buckley. amazing, amazing. id never heard any jeffbuckleymusic until one o-clokc yesterday morning. listened to it for an hour. zen beyond the grave songs. radioheadlike songs [radiohead does jeff buckley covers did you ?know? that]. maxwell r&b song with his own gospel voice in background. gawd. i was floored. props to how i met him as well. yknow, where you walk into a room randomly because you dont know what day september 18th is and you end up having a great 2hour conversation? yeah, proppaj props to wayne. props for blogging again. props for evry single post on his blog. props for being "haoweilicious" and all props to cody, for being grody. props to mitch, because hes nice to the lunchladies. gentlemanly props to kosh for his indian seduction dance. notbad for a mormonfellow props to dj dash for spin skills props to rebekah because i like her new layout so much props to hash for putting up with socrates, ccc's, dan & me's, and for being such a woOya spinner and greatfriend props to unnamed gorgias [pardon philosophical pun] emo fellow in PHIL 100 for being my future babydaddy props to nomEE, for accompanying me to the musee carlos tomorrow. i mean today, since its 3 am. props to nalinis purplefabulous shedyule. mwf 11:45, tth 10:00. those are the earliest classes i got. aight. we out, we out. dun d-dun d-dun DUN dun 9.12.2001
and now, ive held a little incensevigil. then, ive heard that 30000 people are dead. this, i cannot believe. earlier, my friend A at georgetown, who is afghan, was coming back from namaz, and had her headscarf torn off. hurtful, shameful, shameful days are upon us.
i just heard that someone shot up a mosque in dallas. and then i read that some ignorant fool messed with jish. what total SCHMA
oh, god more than ten thousand people are dead. ten thousand. this is what david said last night:: "most people know at least 500 people by the time theyre 20. assuming each of the 10000 dead knows at least 500 people, this loss directly affects 2% of america. at least." consider the six degrees of separation, and that becomes-OH DAMN. DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMNfucking DAMN what a horrible, horrible day for all humanity. ive heard that so far, two people at emory have lost family members. i hope and pray this isnt true. at gatech, some SICK FUCKERS are harassing, threatening, and attacking middle eastern students. thats revolting. i heard someone at emory say he didnt blame them. what a terrible, depraved, ignorant thing to say. ive been hearing all this antiislamic crockshit going around. its not quite as bad here as is it in other places, but it shouldnt be happening at all. islam is a wonderful noble religion, practiced by millions of people who are wonderful and noble, and to translate an act such as this into a stigma for islam is criminal. there are many horrible things done in the name of religion, in the name of every religion, but to amalgamate a religion with a heinous terrorist act brings us to the levels of whoever did this, if they say they did it in the name of religion and we believe them. i dont know how to deal with all this. i wasnt even touched directly. my uncle and aunt in dc are safe, and my friends hannah and kristy at nyu are also safe. i cant fathom the number of people dead. i cant visualize over ten thousand people, each a vital part of others lives, waking up in the morning to take a flight, eat breakfast, pack a briefcase, kiss their children, spill coffee on their pants, drive their cars, never in their wildest dreams imagining that a small group of men with BOXCUTTERS and POCKETKNIVES would snuff all of that in a matter of hours. rob says that he cant cope with the little things. that the new york city skyline has changed. that there are no nonmilitary aircraft in the air over the us. that the national guard is patrolling the streets of nyc. that gas prices have jumped to $5/gallon. stephen cant believe that they did it with BOXCUTTERS [neither can i] no one can believe anything about this. this is a story we will tell our grandchildren, puckering our mouths fifty years later, trying not to cry, remembering exactly where we were [art history 190, sitting in leftcorner desk, thinking that baxter and meredith were playing a notveryfunnyatall joke on me] when we heard. "this is our generations pearl harbor, this is our generations kennedy assassination" but its so much, much worse.......... 9.11.2001
9.9.2001
It looks the way it is, then, I said. Do you see how many we are? he said. I do. Well, you must either prove stronger than we are, or you will have to stay here. Isn't there another alternative, namely, that we persuade you to let us go? But could you persuade us, if we won't listen? oouef i feel somewhat amalgamated maltose queasy 9.7.2001
lastnight:: was crying, and dan found me=i stopped. im still upset, but thanks to her, i dont blame myself for what happened anymore. woOah for dan and i need my weblog anyway, so im not going to stop. its my way of blowing off steam. if someones hurt by what i say, they should confront me by all means, because it most likely wasnt directed at them in the first place. id rather have someone yell at me so i know whats wrong, than not know at all, and be hurt and confused. |