I long for the days when math was "useless." I mean, I know that a lot of high school math is meant to strengthen your higher thinking processes, but most people see the unusual formulas they're taught, and then bitch, moan and whine about how this'll never be used in real life. At least then, if you weren't entirely getting it, you took comfort in knowing that once the class was over, you'd never need this knowledge again.

*sigh*

Unfortunately, Accounting is totally practical, and so, when it takes you a while to fully grasp a concept, you can't whine about it being useless. You just have to accept that you're stupid.

Also, I really thought I had good time management. In high school, I always handed everything in on-time (which... to be honest, usually involved procrastination until the last minute) but it was always on time. Boy, was I wrong.

I'm not particularly liking university. It's too much like high school.

Except (in my program, at least) the cliques are more extreme and homogenous. I've been watching the different social groups, and guys don't really hang out with girls. And most of the groups are made up entirely of people from the same race. And then those groups are split up along the usual high-school-clique lines. And there's no one there who's like me, or if there is, s/he is in a different section, and has no classes with me.

Bleh. Whatever.

I have an essay to write.
posted by Brendan C at 12:41 PM | 3 comments

As expected, I have way too much homework to do today, and it's a good things I don't have social events to steal my time.

I woke up too early yesterday, I did my lowest priority homework (i.e. the easiest), I watched a couple movies, the no-longer-lonely happy endings made me depressed and cocoon myself in my comforter in bed and I ended up falling asleep accidentally for a few hours (when I woke up, I freaked out, because I thought I had slept through the afternoon, night and the following morning). Then, in the evening, I visited my uncle and aunt and their new baby with my family, and I spent the night at home in the suburbs. My dad brought me home downtown this morning.

Seeing the new parents has left me confused, still wondering if I ever want kids some day. All the debating I did weeks (or was it months?) ago regarding the pros and cons of gay parents didn't help much either. I just don't know. I'm not gonna bother thinking about it right now. I need to get through university first.
posted by Brendan C at 9:38 AM | 7 comments

My grandmother has been kidnapped for the weekend by my aunt, and so I get to spend the entire weekend alone. And I have nothing to do, other than homework.
posted by Brendan C at 5:48 PM | 13 comments

Just the other day, I had a large block of free time between classes, and I had to read a chapter in my Information Technology textbook. I thought, "hey, instead of going home and studying in my room, or finding a quiet little corner of the school's library, I should go out to the quad. Get some sun. Get some fresh air. Be around people, if not with other people."

So, I found a nice rock to sit on and began to read; there were plenty of people nearby, and people were constantly walking by. But then, a couple of people approached me, who were from the Toronto Church of Christ (do follow the link if you're gonna read the rest of this entry; it describes their cult-like tactics). Now, I had read about them before this instance, and so I was kinda freaked out. Fortunately, the two people who came up to me, also freshmen, were more annoying than frightening. They'd ask me to come to their bible sesesion, I'd say I'm not interested, they'd tell me why it's so great, I'd say I'm not interested, they'd tell me how good it would be for me, I'd say I'm not interested, they'd tell me how it changed their lives, I'd, once again, say I'm not interested. After over five minutes, they finally left me alone, and so I figured I'd be able to finish reading my chapter.

Of course, fifteen minutes later, this somewhat older guy came up to me, with this frighteningly intense look in his eyes, and he too was from the Church of Christ. He too wanted me to go to bible study. From the look in his eyes, I could really tell he didn't at all want to be there doing this, and so after I told him I wasn't intested only two or three times, he wandered away.

A part of me was tempted to go, and then freak out loudly and obnoxiously if they expect me to recruit others or write down a list of my sins. But I'm not that cocky or shameless.

Nothing of interest happened today, though. My english class is made up almost entirely of stupid people. Walking home today, I thought too much about my lonliness. I had to take a nap once I got home, just so I'd get past all that gloom.
posted by Brendan C at 3:33 PM | 9 comments

I think too much
I write too much
I don't talk enough
I don't act enough
posted by Brendan C at 9:22 PM | 4 comments

*insert over-analytical clap trap here*

No, really. I took my long walk, and spent the whole time thinking about myself. I was gonna write about it all here, but when I realised that it'd be pages and pages long, I decided not to write any of it.
posted by Brendan C at 6:37 PM | 2 comments

It feels even less real today.

It's probably because I'm relatively far away, or because the World Trade Center never really meant much to me, personally. But I still can't watch the footage. I watched a replay of the major events from yesterday, and it made me feel ill and dizzy and I had to sit down and turn off the tv.

I don't have a class today, and I don't have too much homework, so I don't have anything to distract me from the news programs. It's so strange; nothing is really happening, all the news is old news, but I can't stop watching it (cuz they're not showing as much of the buildings and victims anymoree). I guess my lack of friends and other things to do or watch is respsonsible.

I'll prolly go for a long walk today. I dunno where. It'll give me something to do.
posted by Brendan C at 11:15 AM | 2 comments

I was watching Live with Regis and Kelly this morning when I found out about the World Trade Center disaster. Watching the show, expecting humour and entertainment, made the news break all the more shocking. I mean, when they showed the second crash, Kelly, who's usually smiling and laughing and bitching and joking, looked horrified and lost. She nearly started crying, and there's something terribly unnerving about seeing a celebrity-type person break down. They announced that they'd go to commercial, and Kelly just pushed her chair back, and it made this horrible unproffesional squeeking sound that never gets heard on tv. She wondered off, looking lost and confused and staring off into the distance. Most of the reporters on television have been all professional and have kept their cools, but she fell apart. I think that affected me even more than seeing the smoke billowing out of the burning building - which seemed surreal, more like something out of a movie than news.

Um... I dunno why I'm telling you this...

i don't know anything at all
posted by Brendan C at 7:56 PM | 8 comments

I don't know what to say.
posted by Brendan C at 6:56 PM | 0 comments

Oh, wow!

It's probably really tacky to mention this... but I'm a Blog of Note! WhooHoo!

I guess the powers-that-be enjoy (or can maybe sympathise to) university angst.

:)
posted by Brendan C at 2:07 PM | 7 comments

Accounting from 9am to 12noon should be a crime against humanity.
posted by Brendan C at 2:06 PM | 1 comment