wednesday

British boys suck - Little Miss USA

oh this one is great! the ambassador`s 15 year old daughter saying brit boys suck. i love her.
8/9/2000 4:10:22 PM

thursday

there is nothing as lovely as the "pop" of a snapple lid.
7/27/2000 4:04:43 PM

tuesday

the concorde just crashed. so very horrible and all. we're watching sky news here at work. and they run constant headlines under the pictures. how the plane was destined for nyc and 109 on board were killed. stuff like that. the most bizarre one was that a german company had chartered the plane and the company confirmed that all passengers were german and there were "no britons aboard". like it's ok because no brits were killed. it was just the way it was phrased that i thought weird. more bizarre is how i heard that "jokingly" uttered by several people around the office even before sky said it that way.

btw, today is grey and cloudy. wore a coat. for 3 days last week we had sun. now we're back to grey and nasty stuff.
7/25/2000 6:41:41 PM

thursday

so i think ill have to update that list. since the guys who read it thought it was great & the woman thought a guy wrote it. :)

new feature. this summer isnt summer here in merry ole england. its freaking horrible. the sun was shining for about 15 minutes today and thats the first time ive seen it in forever. so its time for "weather watch". check reliable weather channel. since it will change let me read it to you. scattered showers thurs, friday & saturday with a high of 62 or 64. low of 52 or 54. its july 12 or something. isnt it?
7/13/2000 8:34:21 PM

the work atmosphere here is so different than the states. there are emails sent around & comments made in the workplace that would never be sent around at home (or only to your closest work friends). here's a sample from today. and this is fairly tame. jokes about kiwis & sheep are the norm.

obviously written by a man. idiot.

THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HER
8.15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8.30 Weigh in 2Kg lighter than yesterday
8.45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants, open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
9.15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10.00 Light work out at club with handsome funny personal trainer
10.30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
12.00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
12.45 Catch sight of husband/boyfriend's ex and notices she has gained7kg
1.00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3.00 Nap
4.00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card id from secret admirer
4.15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5.30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror
7.30 Candle lit dinner with champagne for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers
10.00 Hot shower (alone)
10:50 Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, whitelinen)
11.00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11.15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM
6.00 Alarm
6.15 Blow job
6.30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7.00 Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked buxom wench
7.30 Limo arrives
7.45 Several Whiskeys en-route to airport 9.15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
9.30 Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9.45 Play front nine (2 under)
11.45 Lunch Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12.15 Blow job
12.30 Play back nine (4 under)
2.15 Limo back to the airport (Several Whiskeys)
2.30 Fly to Monte Carlo
3.30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew (all nude)
4.30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle
5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked supermodel
6.45 Shit,Shower and Shave
7.00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; marijuana and porn legalised
7.30 Dinner: lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by Ice-cream served on a pair of tits
9.00 Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV as you watch international match of the day; England beating Germany 11-0
9.30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies)
11.00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansin ale
11.30 A night cap blowjob
11.45 In bed alone
11.50 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

7/13/2000 8:20:32 PM

friday

what i did on july 4th in london complete with fireworks.
7/7/2000 2:37:42 PM

monday

wow its been a long time. that's what happens when you feel everything you want to do at work is a battle. and everytime you turn around there's some boss standing there with an idea that you know sucks. so once again you do battle for what's right. why do i feel like im constantly the "no fucking way" person.

this weekend was good though. sometimes it's nice to be in london. and this week another friend of mine is in town and we havent hung out in forever. of course tonite on the phone she catches me saying that "sounds very british" though i cant remember exactly what i said. of course as soon as she called me on it, i agreed. hadnt realized i started to sound that way.
7/3/2000 1:42:37 AM

wednesday

blah blah blah. testing my new template links.
6/14/2000 3:02:00 PM

friday

ok. the cab story. a week ago friday a bunch of us went out after work. and drank a lot. we left and several went on to a club but i wanted to go home. it was only then that i realized it was 12:30 and that i was probably dangerously close to missing the last train. but it came and i went one stop to where i needed to transfer. i wasnt so lucky there. i had already missed all south bound trains. so i leave the station to explore kings cross which im told is THE area to go if you need a hooker. its also a large train station so there's a taxi spot. there's 12 people in line when i get there. i have 4 taxi companies programmed into my phone so i call them. one is closed. one only picks up at private locations. and the other two require an account. so i call a friend - who's surprised that it had taken me 45 minutes to get from btw farringdon & kings cross (normally it takes me 30 min office to home). i'm pissed (in both the british and american senses) and telling my friend how much i hate this fucking country because of stupid shit like this. its truely insane. the guy in line ahead of me finds this funny. cabs arent coming very often. finally its my turn & a cab shows and takes me the like 15 minute drive ( i probably could have walked home but i was too drunk and wasnt sure how to get home). when i walk in the door it was only 1 1/2 hours since i left the bar.
6/9/2000 7:43:39 PM

last night i saw the most amazing show by the the at brixton academy. brixton is the "rough" section but it looked like home and a great place of a mixture of folks when i got off the train. many hours later on the way back to the train i found out its not. walking down the stairs to the tube we realized a man was behind us. way to close. while we found out that i had one minute to catch the last train back home he must have been watching. as we walked thru the turnstiles i felt something whiz past my head. a pop crash. this man threw a light bulb at my head. according to my friend it missed me by about an inch. the tube people (one standing there & one inside the glass cage) didnt do anything except laugh. the man threw a 2nd bulb though it wasnt directed at us (or maybe it was i was in shock). one tube guy went to clean up the glass while i told the one in the booth to call the police. all he could do was tell me i had a minute to catch my train. the last train. i didnt care about the train. i cared that someone almost slammed a lightbulb into my head. when he wouldnt call the police i dialed 999. ive never called 911. and here in a foreign country not knowing what to expect not knowing what to do, not getting any help from the tube people, i call. they asked for a description of the man. they asked if i knew where he went (ummmm. NO!). they asked where i live & what my name is. they asked if i was injured. no. which apparently meant they couldnt do anything. we left to find a cab and saw 2 police officers. they got my call but said since no one was hurt there was no criminal offense. they couldnt even do anything about the bastards who worked for the tube and wouldnt help us. no cabs to be found (again - i need to recount last friday's cab experience) and some nice person who we thought might be a mini cab driver but wasnt actually took us to my friends. from there it was only a £16 ($25ish) taxi ride home. i think that pissed me off just as much as no one doing anything.
6/9/2000 7:31:08 PM

tuesday

so ive discovered the secret. and told only a few about this. but now its time to reveal all. you know how british food has such a bad rep? u know why its bad? because they dont wash the soap off their dishes. they wash using soap (fairy) and then they sit them in the drainer. no rinse. suds sliding off the dishes. adding "flavor" to their meals.
6/6/2000 4:12:44 PM

another item in the "im british, i like to be fucked" list. when i was flying nyc-lon i could get off season prices of $250 and up. my first reverse trip was like $500.
6/6/2000 3:58:00 PM

wednesday

i never thought id have something in common with the late nyc cardinal o'connor but check out the "News in Brief"... Archangels Already Sick Of Cardinal O'Connor Telling Them How They Do It In New York
5/31/2000 6:15:16 PM

during my week out sick, i did a lot of lying on the floor with a duvet/comforter over my head (the meds made my eyes very sensitive to light) listening to the tv and cursing myself for not buying a radio. over and over i heard the advert for mc'cains microwave pizza. yummy pizza. and since my over doesnt work and microwave does, it was the prefect match. once i can see, i go to the grocery store and they dont have it (i ask). i check another store (nope). im annoyed. all week ive been needing microwave pizza. hearing the advert in my sleep. and now i cant find it. grrrrr. then comes the big one. my "companion" informs me that he's never heard of pizza you can microwave. that its a new concept in good old uk. a new product.

am i the only one who's worried about a country that doesnt have microwavable pizza???
5/31/2000 5:39:20 PM

oh so many posts to catch up on after my week out sick due to being blind. ill start out with...

there's this "the greatest city in the world" rival between nyc and london (and im sure a lot of other cities too) but there's no way london can say this. i'm sorry but any city that stops serving alcohol at 11pm and shuts down the public transportation a little after midnight and who doesn't know what microwave pizza is (post coming on this one), can not call themselves the greatest city in the world (don't even get me started on the food issues this place has).

so finally one of its own has come out and admitted that the city is horrible. yeeeahhh!
5/31/2000 5:16:00 PM

new york
new york magazine
The New York Times
is it hot yet?
ny1
times square cam
bring me
demeter angel food
wheat chex