When the Ewoks replaced Wookies [as were originally intended] on Endor I thought "Why those annoying, awful little things" but I was young so it didn't bother me too much. Then I sat through Episode I: TPM and left the theatre thinking "What the fuck was that?" Yes I found Jar Jar annoying but who cares? What bothered me was that the flimsy excuse for a story was simply a bookend to a movie about a boy and his pod racer. Was it just me or did the whole movie seem to be about that race? To add insult to injury, the story that made up said flimsy bookend was pretty rotten too.

That brings me to today where I find out that the title for Episode II is "Attack of the Clones" . Is someone shitting me here? Officially they say that the title "harkens back to the sense of pure fun, imagination and excitement that characterized the classic movie serials and pulp space fantasy adventures that inspired the Star Wars saga". Weeeeeee, instantly I have been transmorgraphied into a giggling schoolgirl. Fuck you, George, and the "yes" men you rode in on. Stop trying to figure out what it was that once inspired you and just get back the basics that made you great - good stories, great characters and a boundless imagination. You need to stop listening to the marketers.

It was really a wake up call. The year before, I had helped my dad through the last months of his life as cancer slowly fed on his body. The experience of watching a person literally waste away changes something in you - something fundamental to the way you think about everyday. On the infamous trip to the Firestone Lodge in sunny California, Kelly T introduced me to a fitness program to which I have stayed true for 8 months. For 8 months I have worked out religiously, 6 days a week. I love it. Mostly.

Anyways, the day we left we finally got a canellation at a Motel called "Firestone Lodge". What a piece of crap. Now you have to understand that I used to tour with a band - so my standards were already pretty low. But this took the cake. I had a whore with a couple of Johns to my left, 4 or 5 angry Hispanics to my right and some chump upstairs who could only watch TV with the volume turned all the way up. Oh, and don't forget that the room smelled like sweat and smoke and that my door was tried 4 times during the night. I thought I was going to wake up with a gun in my mouth.