5.23.2001

woo hoo... i'm officially 17. yeah, not too exciting, i know. anyways.... arghhh i'm soo upset! i really want to go to prom! its friday so i don't think its gonna happen. Technically i can't go unless care or someone asks me. you think one of my friends would do that for me? prob not. so its just me and a movie and then weeks of listening to everyone talk about how fun it was. its soo depressing! take me... please!!

so my birthday pretty much sucked. we all went out for lunch to ruby tuesday's (woah,... i just realized this..but my bday was a tuesday ) since it was half day. the only thing fun that happened was seeing the host stare at himself in the mirror. we were all done and left but first me and christina headed to the mall so we could take back her dress, but they didn't have that store there so we tried clothes on instead. i gotta pair of jeans and some pretty undies from nordstrom. so when i finally went to take her home, which is sorta outta my way by like 15 minutes .. but i didn't mind, except it was pouring the whole way down 270 and i couldn't see a thing.then i stopped at roses cuz care was there and rose and i threw pickles on care... ewww! finally i got her home then i went home and had a cake and ballons. you think that my parents would have been more inventivein gift finding that just handing me a card filld with money.... well they aren't...

arghh.. ok i'm pissed ...
- xdigitaldollx 4:35:42 PM

ladida... i'm sorta bored.. so i guess i'll write something while i wait for law& Order to come on. Everyone was busy today.. so i told my sis i'd take her to th mall.. but first we sopped adn go my my hair cut. I wewn to Salon Art F/X on 355 ... and omg!! Tony did a great job.. all the ppl there are super.. def. go there if you live near by.. it s by the police station. I sorta look like Josie ( and hte pussy cats... all the guy hair designers were like" blah blah blah.. i love your hair! Turn around! blah blah blah! ( in they're little voices!) But i liek it! Yeah.. then wer went to the mall... and i Fucking locked my keys in the car.. which put me in a bad mood for like the whole time.. but i ended up getting htis lil white mesh halter from express. it loks good... esp at 50% off. Yeah, so my dad came and rescued us witha spare set of keys and took addie home for me. I felt bad, so i got a Caramel Machiato(yum!) and i was like "i know you!" to the guy at the counter. Yeah... anywyas this party i wentto last weekend was awesome.. wll it couldabeen better, but it was fun. Cinco de mayo... Rosa, Lill and I went . It was right accross the street , but uh we parked 10 miles away (literally). It was cool, apparently the guy's lease is about to expire so he had a big final party. It's ona big farm so it was loud! i was bad.... care go soo mad at me.. well not quite... but i'll explain later cuz my show's on. it sucks being home on a friday night.
- xdigitaldollx 10:10:16 PM

woah... i feel like i have so much free time since i quit my job... and i do actually... i have all of friday night ans the rest of the weekend to do what ever i want!!! and i love it!! but sadly enough i've already started looking for a new job.. gotta have the money!! but yeah... so me care adn rose went out tonight.. we didn't really do anything but drive around and act stupid... and came to the realzation hat we taste and feel like pizza. But yeah... wait.. i should be doing history... 100 + fucking pages i have ot read by uh, last tuesday.... thats ok.. our teacher exclaimed one day that he quict teaching us... so i can quit ofr a while... but he's tooo forgiving and what ever .. so i have to do my notes .. tomorrow. but yeah ( i say thath tooo much!) So last friday me care and lauryn went to Towson to look to the open house.. no way in hell am i going there... only if all my choice schools turn me down... but So then we came hom and then me racheal and lauryn drove back up to towson that night oto camp out for tickets for HFStival.... and it was sooo fucking fun.. ask me about it if you really want to know. So We ended up being first in line and got tickets fo both days.. so eyah!! cuz it usually sells out in less than an hour... but for some reason.. a week later, they still aren't sold out.. i think it's a conspiricy. But thats it for now!
- xdigitaldollx 10:51:36 PM

woah..... it actually got hot out!! its like 85!!! I love it!! It tank top and flip flop weather!! Last nigth lauryn, jenna and i went out! i haven't hung out with them both in ages! it wasn't bad... coulda been better, but who's complaining. We wen't to bugaboo creek icecream.. but they didn't h ave any so we ha these dessert things tht were yummy! The whole resturant it like a big log cabing with antler chandieliers and crap. They even have a singing buffalo head on thewall and little raccoons that pop out of barrels.. it's pretty neat! but yeah, then we went cosmic bowling.... i lost soo bad.. i'm usually good... i can get like 110 atleast.... but i got like 37!!!! i'm blaming it on my shoes... cuz i woere my sandals! oh well! WE still ha like an hour and a half left... so we decided to go to dennys..... we're like hundred feet from it and i'm like " you just ran a red light... well she almost did she pushed on her breaks soo hard!! i swear the scretch could be heard for miles around! then we got to denny's. Ok theyre service is sooo fuckign bad!! ok we got it took like 1/2 an hour to get a waiter person ... adn i kept getting up an asking!!!! i was gettin pissed... and then this indian men were staring at us.. i mean litereally for like the whole time were wre there... and i fucking yelled at them like stop fuckign staring at us... so we put up our menus and played go fish!! it wa pretty weird... then finally someone came adn took our order... icream and piece of pie.... that took anouther 20 minutes.... and those fucking indian guys came 20 minutes fter us got served before us, and theyre food had to be cooked!!! i was fucking pissed!!! i was like trying ot be nice to the watiress.. cuzi know its not her fault.. but technically it was cuz waiteress usually do icecream.. andthat s liek all we got... but come one.. it was a saturday night.. 3 waitresses for an entires restuartn is not enough!! SO we paid and left.. but not with out leavinga little suprize for the waitress. wejust empitired all the suggar, pepper, and salt out on the table... arghh!!!!! So we left adn waived to the five cop cars outside the restuant and smiled .. well they waived first, so it was only the polite thing to do. So we made a "pit" stop on the way home and yeah you know. we got home at like 12:30... and my mom was pissed weh ni called her.... but i was like.. if it was such a prob the police at dennys woulda said something. Then at jenna's we waited theis movie with river phoenix and wynonna ryder .... if you know what its called tell me!! ok .. i'm going out side while its nice!!
- xdigitaldollx 1:20:41 PM

hey! just got back from Miami... and i'm sunburnt like hell.. but on the bright side i have tan... somehting i haven''t had in about 3 years. Mom, Zach, and i went down 4/8. It was pretty fun.... i've never been to denny's so many times in a row. Then on wednesday, Aunt Deb, emma, an her friend came down.... i had a ok time with them... i felt a little outta touch. oh well.. as long as it wasn't bad. i only wish i coulda stayed longer!!! I wish sprong break was longer... emma gets like 10 days off.... and she winter break, february.. and this spring break.... what the hell goes on up there in massachucetts that they get more breaks from school than us?! arghhh i itch and i'm peeling!!! anyways... after a wonderful seven days of 8- degree weather we headed to the airport.. and guess what?!! i saw the girl i work with here in Md. We were joking that it would be soo weird if we saw each other at one of hte malls or something. She said bob dole was there too. I swear i saw carolyn's cousin athte airport too. Finally, the ground!.. which means malls... i'm not really one of those shoppaholic preppy girls.. but i thought it would be cool to stop at the outlets, since i had never been there. Then i heard," Susan." "Susan?" "Thats susan!!! AHHHHH"And i see lauryn and racheal. I ran towards them, looking back at it i probably looked crazy.. i just like stampeded over to them... But it was cool cuz i haven't seen lauryn in ages... or racheal for that matter. SO anyways, we get home... blah blah blah. The "easter bunny" (mom) wants me to go get candy.. buti can't find my keys.... i want my keys, with my key chin.. cuz htey are mine. My dad hid them from someone.... and can' find them... but ywah.. so mom gets all bitchy at me finally goes to getit herself.. while i practice for hte SAT's on this stupid program dad go me.. bu hey, since i'm not taking any classes it should help alot!! well i itch adn i'm peeling still... so i think i'll call it a night.
- xdigitaldollx 12:46:56 AM

yeah me! i gotta cd player for my car! i'm so excited, well not really, but its nice to have. Theres goes all my money... arghhh. On the bright side, the quarter is almost over... spring break in 2 weeks! I need a break.. about a month long break. well i'm off to go finish some stuff.
- xdigitaldollx 8:42:22 PM

yeah... i know you like my "hiatus page" i've been so busy.. and well its almost spring so i thought i'd do a kick ass new layout... but its gonna take awhile, cuz i insist on using flash and dreamweaver (which is a bitch for frames) yeah.... anyways... i love have broadband! it kicks sooo much ass! i've been downloading shit practically nonstop. I love getting bootlegs and other live shit! arghhh school, it sucks... i have to work so freaking hard to do this! i don't like it! again.. i've slacked off in art... i really love it.. but its just so time consuming and i hate to do stuff in class cuz hteres soooo many ppl... definately overcrowded for the little studio. i also hve to find, erghh do all this old make up stuff from history. I'm never gonna make it in college.... i'm serious, i think i'll end up working at burger king or something. lauryn made us lasagna for lunch today. it was good... but you what... i've gained like 10 fucking lbs. arghhh... i can't stand this.. i'm not gonna be able to fit into my clothes..... its soo not fair... i hate ppl like carolyn.. bitch she painted polka dots all over my fraking painting to day... big pink ones! k. i have this big shit load of stuff i wann to to/ need to do, its like a mile long, and the only hting i ever get done, well atleast halfway done is my laundry, and i've had this list since like the beginning of February. ok, its like 9:30.. and i need to get my home work done!
- xdigitaldollx 9:13:06 PM

ever heard of smugface? check them out, they kick ass!! yeah, anyways.. finally we're getting high speed access, with a dish, cuz we live in the middle of nowhere! it actually sorta sucks.. cuz since napster is shutting down, its sorta pointless. I think i'm gonna apply to the ice cream shop .. they are stil hring, atleast so says the gazette. my first day back in school in awhile.... i sucked, majorly.... it makes me so tired. i just don't like it.. ok, i'm rambling....
- xdigitaldollx 11:19:27 PM

i'm am such an idiot!!! you know the little tube that the toilet paper spins on.. well its down in the toilet pipe.. dropped it in accidently and couldn't get it in time.... i hope it doens't cause any major problems... btw.. i'm sick. i went in late and came home early monday ... it was snowing when i went to bed at 10 am. by the time i woke up around 3 it was bright and sunny, not a trace of snow that was there several hours earlier.i felt like shit. i stayed home tuesday too. i thought i would get some homework or something done... but nothing, i'm soo lazy. Right now i'm just downloading some songs... techno beethoven!! fuck all those asshole trying to shut napster down. its really not all that different from tapping a song off the radio or rippping a cd and coping it..... arghhhh!! yeah, anyways... i started work on friday. all the ppl are really nice... except my boss uptight, anal retentive asshole (i know..) don't even get me started. yeah.. but i only had one bad event .. it was with ppl i knew.. well it was big surprize.. i was soo pissed off.. that i just started talking ot them yesterday... i was soo incrediably pissed. i still sorta am. i think i'm gonna get another job. maybe at an ice cream shop.. something simple.. ya know. yeah.. i'm having fun... . Lauryn's home..well within the next few hours atleast!!! yeah!! it was the oddest thing. yesterday, my dad found this tshirt of lauryns that she lost at one of my parties 4 years ago!! weird!! i don't think she'll be wearing it though... pepe jeans are um, passe. hehe. i don't think she'sgoing back to school. i guess it's summer school for her... oh well. she'll prob work now. arghh.. i gotta do my home work....
- xdigitaldollx 11:18:18 PM

sleep, i need sleep. i have to find some ritalin or someting to keep me awake... i never have any energy!! i sleep all the time.. well not literlally.. but a lot! Oh.. i got a job! horrah for me... i get to be a hostess at some dinner.. on fridays 5 to midnight... so i'll be working with like no energy! I have so much shit i need todo. I have so many freaking history things to do that i never did,... so does care... shes even further behind than i am. English.. stupid bitch makes us write a 4 page paper in one night.... i can't do that... not even in 2 nights... I'm gonna fail! i should do that now.. i only have an hour left before i have to get ready for school...
- xdigitaldollx 5:04:50 AM

congrats to me!! finally, after 6 years of having a satilette ddish, i of all people figured out how to hook it up to to the vcr so it plays videos and records off the dish. Thats a big and cuz it used to only play back video.. ok For this i deserve a sundae from DQ... moms on her way there... my dad asked though.. so yep.. well i've been trying for ever to do a new lay featuring clips from the Spiders video by SOAD.... it is the best video i nthe world!! its aestetically pleasing and very cool. i finallyfound a site that has the full video in a format other than real audio.... so i can capture the images.. but they are soo small and shitty that i don' think it'll work.. so this is where the VCR comes in... i hooked it up so i can take pictures with the digital thing. Cool, huh?! lets see.. Today i had only 2 missions, get my oil changed and get reprints of some pics.. Ok.. after searchng high and low for every negative that i needed i only found 3/6 of the ones needed for enlargements. So i went ot the photo place filed out all the stuff... but it costs $5 each for an 8x10. So i told the guy that i would do it at school and he was nice enough to tell me what filters i would need and shit ( cuz haven't got a which ones to use) Then i asked how much it would be to make a print from a print ... $10 each!! and i needed 3... so no way was i spending $30 on that... So i made my way to target. I picked up a photo file box, face wash, and clear polish. So i went to the bookstore.... and st petsmart they were having pet adoption day.... i almost cried.. i wanted to adopt a dog. Just think of all the animals the humane society puts to sleep each year... it was soo sad. It was also the bokstores birthday and it was filled with kids.. thank god they don't like to look at Photo books and mags.. i spent an hour there... There were soo many beautiful pic in the books... i wih i could photograph like that.... Anyways.. i never went to get my oil changed. Oh well....
- xdigitaldollx 10:34:55 PM

my god!! a 113 car pile up on 1-95!!! Snow actually sorta sucks when things like that happen. Speaking of which.. i almost got hit like 50 million times on the way home... Fuck montgomery county... we got the announcement at about 9:15 that we would get pout at 10:49. It Started snowing at 10... in that 49 minutes, the roads were covered and it was sooo slippery getting outta the parking lot at school.. everyone was slidding every where... I ended taking jenna and garrett home.. and i was like i can't go up your driveway so i said i would drop them off at jennas dads which is at the top of the hill.. two houses either way to jennas mom and garrretts... but nooo.. jenna whined and said she didn't want to walk o i stopped and let them off.. only i ot stuck.. and kept slidding .. into everything... i was sooo scared because the cars that were behind me started slidding and this big truck with a trailer thing on the back was going everywhere.. i was sooo sorry for the ppl behind me.. it was stupid thing to do... i can't believe it and i fucking couldn' move... i was soo pissed they couldn't even get me any sand or anything for traction.... they just stood there ARGHHHHHHHH . ok then finally we get up the road Some one hit into a bus so we couldn't get on totheother road so it was back to square one... In all it took an hour to get home ... when it usually takes no more than 15. Other than that nothing interesting happened...just painting my nails for like the gazillionth time tonite and taking advantage of the final free downloads on napster.. enjoy.
- xdigitaldollx 11:04:18 PM

wtf?? emineim should not be perfroming on the grammys... it sucks.. elton john just isn't cutting it as Dido...
- xdigitaldollx 10:43:02 PM

my life seems to get better each day... tomorrow i'm gong for three good things to happen... a snow day is one ofthem. Let's see, yesterday, i gota free bottle of nailvarnish from estee lauder, its a limited edition manolo blahnik bottle, its shapped like a stilletto heel. So that was good. Today i got nominated for the National Merit thing in art for photo.. shhhh, i'm not suppossed to say anything... John Sterwart is such a crack head!! And finally... the DEFTONES got a grammy!!! Woo hooo!! It was for elite, which is an ok song, but i would hve chose digital bath or something.. but CONGRATS to them! Rose callled me this evening so she could apologize to me for making me drink out of a bowl at lunch instead of a cup.... i didn't really think anything of it at the time.. but it was sweet of her. Well about the snow, 3-6 inches are suppossed to fall tomorow! i can't fucking wait! i love snow! it would be soo nice to go home early. I can't find half of my negatives that i need to get enlarged. oh well.. i prob wouln't win anything anyways. I'm almost out of perfume.. so this means i need a job... unless you want to send me a bottle of Guerlain Champs Elysees perfume (email me ... please!) ok.. thats it for now....
- xdigitaldollx 10:41:54 PM

I think I should go to bed! But ya know... this is just so much more entertaining... this week end was actually pretty fun... I did something every night. Yeah... you heard about Friday night in the last post. I found out that one girl died and 5 other people were hurt really bad in an accident on the way home form the party hat night. I was raining pretty bad and they were prob taking the curves too fast as they rushed to get the last ferry that night back to Virginia. That really sucks. The news said alcohol wasn't a factor or anything, cuz I didn't see anyone drinking at the party, people were mostly there for the music... and most "punks" I know are straight edge... I don't know....

Anyways, Saturday was even better... we ah, "went out to eat and then cosmic bowling." We when to this party at this kids house in Potomac.... OMG... these people are rich... well everyone in Potomac is.... Christina met the host at driving school... he’s younger than us. But looks good, Christina is lucky... As soon as we get there, this ‘lil girl was sooo fucked up... she was passed out for like 4 hours already and they put here in the shower and this big fat ugly “EMT,” he said he was taking care of her... the girl had no clothes on... hell I woulda put her in with her clothes. The bathroom was so gross in the guesthouse, so we had to go to the main house to use. On the way, care falls in a hole.... she just layes there sprawled out like a chalk outline of a body... face flat... I wish I I would had my camera. ... OMG... it was the funniest thing. We just sat there and laughed... then around 11 they called the passed out girl’s dad, so we jetted outta there.... But we came back 5 minutes later... everyone was gone... except for the guys staying the night. So this time we all hung out in the house.... We acted like retards for like half an hour. There was this really cute guy that I was hanging out with in TJ's room, but nothing happened... that sucked, cuz, I dunno it just did. Then it was about 11:50 and we had to go home... so we left... so sad. We all stayed at Christina's (rose & care). So I went home the next day then I went to the mall. I went to take back my diamond studs... I want white gold, not yellow... but I forgot the receipt.... So that didn't work. I took back this bra I bought like 3 months ago at Victoria’s Secret.... It was pretty, but it made my boobs look really weird. So I got 2 new pairs of thongs, I like them, so they are my party gutchies. I really wanted to find something cute to wear the next time we went out, cuz I was searching all over... but I didn't really find anything. So I went to Pac Sun and got a tee shirt and a pair of jeans, which I love, but the waist is a little big, soo they fall... which I love, but the crotch sinks too low. Then I headed home.

OK, I got bored at home so quickly... I knew we were going to go out again, it was just a matter of time.... Ok fine, I was filled with anticipation. That was until they were ready to leave ... and called and said we have to go now. And it takes me 15 minutes to get over there.... When I speed. So they ended up coming to get me... cuz it was easier.... And that’s how I found out how to get to River Road from my house... Yeah... so we got to TJ's. Only there was only like 5 people there... and 2 of them we w ones that are attractive... So we just stat around for a little. We were going to get in the hot tub... I would have at least, but they all chickened out. So we just hung. Rose paired up with Andrew, so I was like, whatever, so I was all-alone.... Me and rose went up stairs to TJ's room to hang out... he's got his kick ass thing on his pc... little trance thing So care and Christina are no where to be found. Rose had just laid down on the bed wit her face down... and the fat child molester but pillows all over her and laid on her.... I was screaming and laughing and omg it was soo funny. she didn't know who it was till like 5 hours later... I was like omg... I’m sooo sorry, that's so gross!“ Blah. After that had passed we started a back massage line. Rose gave me one cuz Andrew gave here one. And blah... then were like. Let’s give hand massages with this stinky peach lotion. . If you ever get one.... You’ll melt, literally... they feel sooo incredibly good! And I was just like ...ahhhhh and I put my head down on someone’s knee... I don't know... and then like 5 minutes later care and Christina barge open the door and are like screaming... and run away again. Rose and me are like what the fuck. So we find them and Christina is like all-mad at me ... and I'm like ... I didn't do anything wrong. (She thought I was messing around with the guy she likes.... and I would never do that, #1 he's hers & #2 he's too young.) But she didn’t believe me and kept running away... so anyways, it s almost midnight and we had to leave. So we did. Then Care and Christina tell us that the EMT child molester, Carolyn’s brother Richard look alike, tried to molest them, well not literally... well he tried to attack them.. They like " it was like a scary movie" and we just start screaming as we talked.... So we got hoe to roses and ate hot chocolate and doughnuts and lime bars and sat around on AIM and stuff, then went to bed.

Then we got up. Rose’s dad made us glazed cinnamon rolls and bacon, yum... Blah blah blah... ok so eventually we made it out the door and to the mall as we had been planning for 4 hours. I love car trips.... But I felt like a bump on a log. I was just so, ughh ... I dunno. I felt outta place, like they sorta didn't want me there. So I tried to get happy and threw twislers out the windows at cars. This on middle-aged guy and his wife were shaking his head at us and were like WTF! And just looked at him and shook out heads. So then we start throwing twislers at this really cute guy a few times... then he catches up with us again and he leans over as he drives beside us... I thought he was gonna pull out a gun. But he was just gonna roll down the window.... So we meet ho at the parking lot at Chevy's and but we are a little to young... cuz we're barely graduating high school and he's graduating college. But hey, there’s no harm in talking. Then we look over while were at the red light and care's like " look, its a party" a 'lil car accident had grown from two cars to 4 on the other side of the median... and all these people are standing out side. Ok you had to be there. Then, believe it or not, we made it to the mall! So we tried on shit load of clothes, everyone had money b me... I feel so poor... I had a charge card. But I feel so bad spending dad’s money. Cuz mom bitches all he time now hat dad doesn’t have any. I still felt all shitty. Ok I think I was depressed, cuz I kept crying. Then I got sorta pissed cuz care was gonna make me go back to p -ville and get a ride. But I ended up taking Christina and rose home cuz care had to go to diner.... Which I didn’t mind as much, I just hate waiting at people’s houses... ok I took them home. I went like 70-mph whole way cuz I wanted to get home so bad. And I got home and mom was like so how much did ya spend and what did you buying, and I was like nothing. I just started crying and was like I need a job and blah blah blah. (I apply every where) and its hard getting used to not being able to just go charge stuff all the time. I mean it is hard when you have to readjust your lifestyle.... Before x-mas, I used to able to go shopping all the time... well I could spend some here and there. But now I can‘t.... It sucks sooo much..
- xdigitaldollx 1:09:40 AM

mmm, chocolate kisses. hrmmm tonite sorta sucked, i dunno what really to say. i went to jenny's bday party, well it was more like a showcase of 5 area punk bands, who weren't that bad. About 90% of the people in hte house (this is a small house ) i didn't even know,. Some guy supposessedly passed out flyer for the party in N. Va. so people came. some were sooo nasty looking.. eghhhhh, can't even describe it. there were a lot of hot guys... punk guuys, it was cool to meet new people... well i didn't really talk to anyone except the people i came with and the guy that said he would give one of us his sweatshirt if we went and fucked in his car.... he was soo fuked up. it was funny .good times, yes good times. ok. it was sooo fucking foggy/ rainy today. i didn't not like it, not one bit. that sounded sorta dr. suessish... i felt sorta place there, i though it was gonna be like one of jennys old shindigs , ya know, with people i knew. buti was sorta dressed up, well lets say compared to everybody else i looked sooo preppy~!!! it was terrible. The girls just looked at us like,.... althought i had to say they had really cool dye jobs. i think this one girl with the orange hair looked best. i met cares cousin... he's a year younger than us... what a hottie!! my rents suck. i had to be home at 11. arghh.. i prob coulda stayed out latter cuz my mom went ot bed. but cars curfew is midnight... thats not right!!! even garrett, who just got his liscense is aloud to stay out late. I went to apply for jobs last week... nopt one called me.. andi filled outa lot of applications.. i don't hink i'm ever gonna work! i wanted to work at a camp this summer.... but i think i'm too young... i'm 17... thats old enough to work with little kids!!! arghh.. thats enough ranting...
- xdigitaldollx 11:25:22 PM

OMG..... people are so fucking stupid!!! yeah, lets pay a $3 bill at dairy queen with a $200 bill. A counterfiet... with bush's head on it..... people are soo stupid! ohhh i want ot get my teeth bleached! i just saw it on the news... i think it would look nice, but my teeth aren't really that yellow.

Anyways... today sucked. ( this is a rant, but i stil funny) it rained this morning, erghhh. I parked far away from the building today, bad choice. Then my key was bent so it wouldn't come out of the ignition, it wouldn't come out.... i tried desperately, but to no avail. So i left my key in the ignition with the doors unlooked, not too bad a prob. I was late to first period, they imposed this new tardy thing where we go into lockdown after the 7:25 bell rings... how stupid for our school. Come, we live in the country, literally surrounded by farms and a school pop of 600. Is this really nessecary? Ok, La di da, i go through the day all fine. School's out, wtf? my locker's jammed so much i can't even get it opened! i search for 15 minutes to find a custodian, finally i found one to help me. I get my books, go out otmy car... my sister is just standing htere.. i'm apoligizing cuz it took me forever to get outside, at least hte rain had quit and it was warm and sunny. OMG! the key is locked in the car! this sucsk... the car i took in with me is a trunk key, not a valet like it thought it was!!!!! It's 2:30 by htis point and the only peole still at school is the track team, so i call dad to bring a spare.... he come like 1/2 an hour later... and i finally get home. ps. i have no fun classes with my friends an i have to take phys ed... ewww! did i mention we will soon have to art wearing identification badges, like in a hospital? again, the school population comes into mind.... everone knows everyone. oh well. thank you!
- xdigitaldollx 11:29:23 PM

psychokitty.net - you are what you buy.. nice page...i like the hostees. geeze i always thought i was sorta good at webdesign until i started looking at more and more sites... people are really really good! they also give me alot of good ideas for layouts and designs, but some are so unique(as of now) that i'll have to wait a while until i can alter them into something for me. i dunno. but anyways.. i started submitting myself to some webrings, i hope i get accepted. its nice to know that people like your site and want to come back! blah, its 2:10... i'm gonna look at soome more sites, then hit hte hay, after all i do have to gt up for school in 4 hours..... hahaha. oh wait, i guess i'll type more

lauryn wrote me another email, she sounds sorta homesick, which sucks.... i dunno, i miss her.. but she shouldn't come back... she should experience the world why she has somebody paying for her.. even though she did pay money to go. she should just have fun. blah.. ok now i'm gone.
- xdigitaldollx 2:11:53 AM

ok... its all fixed!!! i dunno what was happening ot the servers, but none of my blogs were showing up when i signed in. as long as its back, i won't ask any questions!
- xdigitaldollx 6:10:18 PM

arghh..... i'm getting sorta pissed! blogger changed their servers (which is nice) but nowi can't get into my account the normal way, i have to post via BlogThis..... arghhhhhh!!!!!!!
- xdigitaldollx 6:01:17 PM

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh times infinity squared. i'm soooooooooo mad/ upset, whatever! today was a very shitty day. no wait, its been a shitty week. I got up at 10, after 4 hours of sleep, so I could go to school to turn my art stuff. I got there, I was all happy , I was fine. I have almost everything turned in, except I forgot a project,which was still being developed, and that was ok... then he I'm missing an architecture project, WTF!!! I never knew anything about that! and I started to tell the asshole bortz that. Then he yells at me, literally that its his turn to talk, not mine. I was like whatever. He was an asshole about all my projects, even my "creative" journal..... he pisses me off sooo much. he then preceded to tell me that all my work is late and what not...... after all quarter of him saying we can turn it in until 11:20 that day. BIG BIG BIG ASSHOLE!!!!! I hope he keels over. then my other art teacher was sorta nice, he was like... finish these paintings for yourself, not for me. I thought they were done, but I guess not. I was on the verge of tears. I was so upset/ pissed that I took a long long drive on the way home. I went to the mountain and took all the back roads. I drove around for like an hour. now I see why old people like to take long drives, its relaxing. I really wanted to talk to someone when I got home, anyone, but my lil sis wouldn't get off the phone. I finally gave up and went back to sleep till 6. I dunno. ok..... I feel a little better. law & order SUV is on. I love that show! ok... i'm back. I think I've seen that episode before. anyways. this week end is gonna suck. care, rose, and christina are going snow tubing this week end, and jennas with becky, so I have no one to hang out with this week end, damn I need to meet some more people, really bad. OK, this is like the 10th pedestrian that had died this year. people need to learn how to drive and when to cross the street. there, I've vented.
- xdigitaldollx 11:14:57 PM

dammit.. i've having problems publishing... this sucks ass!
- xdigitaldollx 12:25:01 AM

its soo pretty out. it's snowing!!!!! I love the snow! it glitters. my foot is asleep. did you know One in 10 U.S. Kids Mentally Ill . ok.. anyways. today was the inauguration. we now have a crackhead (well not really) for president. sorta a bad day for parades and shit, considering it rained all day.I don't think he'll stick to his plan of no TV's and no email at the white house. I'm soooo freaking bored. I wanna go out. I really think my friends don't like me. The only time they ask me to do stuff is when they want me to drive. And Carolyn, I think she's busy with well that guy (he's a mystery to every one but lill) speaking of lauryn, she's gone! I don't know if I already said, but she left for Denmark a week ago!! I miss her!!!! damn, it stopped snowing. no one else really misses her, infact, everyone sorta just forgets she's gone, except for care. I feel bad I would so hate it if I knew no one missed me if I moved away. I write lauryn almost everyday, I like to keep in touch. she says it very fun over there.. I wanna go visit her... but plane tickets are soo expensive. I just did one of those Spark.com. according to it I'm 46% slut and 44% bitch. Damn, I'm bad. As long as its all under 50%.... I think I'm a pretty good girl, make me bad!
I'm sorta screwed. I have to do a big painting, some drawings , and several photo projects.. help me!!! I also have to study for history the most. I went to talk to my teacher.. who is this weird ass guy... after school, ewww! this is a man who I don't think I ever said so much as hi to. I was turning in all this late work I had. and we were talking.. well not about much and he was like, "so do you have a boyfriend?" and I was like no. he said, "good, boys are bad. Then he asked me, "well why not." and I preceded to tell him why. it was a truly weird conversation. then some kid from my class finally came in the room and I was like is that it and jetted outta there.... it was soo funny.. but weird at the same time.. I dunno.. care is his shining star and the torn in his side.... long story.. she took lauryns place. I have a bet with the teacher that if I get a B or higher then I'll get a better grade.. yeah right! I can't remember anything in history for the life of me. I mean, I like it and all I do the work.. I just turn it in late.. but I don't understand it. I should just drop it. Finals are this coming week. I can wait for them. I only have to go to school for 2 days this week for 4 hours each day . So I get 6 days off! Damn , I am sooo lucky!
I need money, and to get that I need a job. If you live in the DC Metro area and want to give me one, email me. I turned in an application to Pet Smart, but they never called me, so I guess I didn't; get it. Oh well. I understand. Ewww vitamin C is on MadTV. She's going pop princess a la Brittany Spears.... But she need a new outfit ( it looks cheap and unflattering), a boob job, and she needs to stop lip-synching. ICK!
I love my black light.. its soo cool.. everyone has a few.. I know, but its soo nice to have.. wait, I wanna see if it makes snow glow!!!!! awww, no snow doesn't glow, but it did start snowing again. There's got to be a few inches down already. my aunt from pa called a few hours ago, she said there's 6 inches down already. Well that's it...


- xdigitaldollx 12:06:15 AM

blah blah blah.. i'm bored.... only one more week untils start, so that means i have a two day week next week! i'm lucky! damn, i haven't written in a long time, been way tooo busy to sit still for extended periods of time, i should be doing those lovely review packets i have, they can wait. Last week sorta sucked. In fact it did suck. Saturday was the day Lauryn left for good, for Denmark that is. She should be back in 6 -12 months. I'm gonna miss her sooooooo much. Care's gonna miss her even more. On thursday, there was a going away party. Me, Rose, Carolyn, Kevin and ugly Danny were in attendence, wit hguest appearences by racheal and mary. Kevin is, well was Lauryns BF. care told me how sad it was when they broke up on friday. I actually sorta started to cry. It's gonna be so weird with out her. She was always the cause of so much trouble and stuff, but that's why i loved her. Lill, if you ever read this..... I love you!! Oh yeah.. and kevin is hottie.... heheh.. i had to thow that in there. I wonder what she's doing now.. well prob just getting up for school, since its about 6 am. I hope she likes it over there, I know i wouldn't want her to hate, esp since she has to spend so long a time over there. Ok.. this is enough.. i'm starting to cry.

I talked to care today, for like an hour and half. She's so lonely... you can tell.. She told me all about her weekend. Sunday night, her and rose went driving around and sort of "stalking" this golf cart guy. i feel bad. she said she missed kevin and his hugs.... i wonder what she meant by that.. i told her to go hang out with him sometime.. but to take me with her.... cuz he's fun.

On saturday, Christina, Rose, & I were suppossed to meet up with these guys, but they sorta stood her up. But thats ok, cuz we went to Ruby Tuesdays. It was sorta fun. We sat up at those bar tables, got a can of whipped cream, and flirted with old drunk men. This one guy who was about 26 came and was flirting with us.. he said he was a bar tender at some restuarant .. so where gonna go there... maybe. he was sorta cute, with his freckles and southern accent.. well christina thought so anyways. We left around 10 and then drove around untill we met up with rose's sister, eryn... and julee at denny's. so we drove around some more. We talked to some ppl we go to school with at a red light on 355. yeah anyways.. c&r came back to my house.. we talked, watched Road Trip.. which is soooooo incrediably funny, and then they went home at 1:30 am.. thats it...
- xdigitaldollx 11:59:51 PM

ok.... i just typed a shitload of stuff and i have no clue what hapened to it... I guess I'll just type it again tomorrow.
- xdigitaldollx 1:26:49 AM

ok.... I did my thesis for my paper in history, I'm just gonna turn it in late, i really don't feel like doing it tonite. Who cares if i don't get a good grade on it, I don't need the class to graduate. Besides I'd prefer to go to sleep tonite than turn in a shitty 7 page essay. Anyways. Life is weird. Christina is mad at everyone, well a few ppl anyways. Oh well, cinnaburst is getting tooooo skinny, we're all really worried about her, we keep asking her if she's ok and commenting on her. But I don't know. Now she's starting an exercise routine. i just want her to be ok. I just got like 5 new assignments for photo, I've been having these ideas for pics which just happen to go along with them, yeah!!!! Ick! I'm biting my nails, I've never done it before... it started 3 weeks ago... I want a playstation 2..... it looks soo cool. I have sega, but its in a box and I haven't played it since 6th grade, theres only 2 games. I got new lip gloss during lunch today. It's some naturistics icicles stuff in coconut, its yummy! That whole sentance sounds weird. The sunrise was so pretty this morning, pink & purple. I took some pics of it and of the moon, cuz it hadn't set yet. Thats all for now...
- xdigitaldollx 12:29:29 AM

ekkkkk I know i always complain about staying up all night.. its just my normal pattern.... i'm up... again, doing my English essay, which is on Carson McCullers' , The Member of the Wedding. Not a bad book, just wish i didn't have to write an essay.
- xdigitaldollx 1:29:39 AM

i think i'll be up till about 5am trying to get to sleep... close call in the elections.. i'm not really paying attention. I got my graphics done for my new webpage.... its made out of the one on my blogger.. so thats means a new lay out for it too! I've forgotten the joy i get in doing stuff! I thin i actually want to get a job.. maybe at the Photoplace in Milestone.... Lill IM ed me today..... all this shit between everyone is still sorta going on... she got her host family for when she goes to Amsterdamn. I took soem silohettes of myself.. i cheated, cuz i didn't feel like doing it the right way, so i used a sheet. I hope i still get credit. well I'm off to type some HTML......
- xdigitaldollx 12:48:43 AM

I'm sooo lazy. I had no school today and i still didn't do any of my work.. like htose damn photos.. did i mention oneo f my art teachers called my house cuz I went home early yesterday?! I thought htat was really weird... I went and got a new tire for my poor car... It took like two hour.. I got stuck sitting there. I was soo bored. Anyways... so I'm still sorta on restriction for my incident. But I hope it doesn't last tooo much longer. I'm stuck watching Buffy.. ewww! I know the election is important, but does every station have to cover it?!! I mean, one maybe two channels is enough! I'm finally makinga new web page.. well attempting, i have a new layout, but I can't decide on my graphics. I think i'm going to call it "IDLE". OMG! buffy has a little sister? I got my school pictures back the otherday.. want one? Ithink I'm forgeting HTML already, its only been 4 months since I popped up a new page. Well guess I'll go.
- xdigitaldollx 8:53:12 PM

Hey.... not too much has gone on since I last wrote. I ended up driving my sister up to the wedding, cuz she was hung over and i felt bad. Thre adn a half hour drive... and thats only because I went 75 the whole time. Came home, went to school... ladida. My friends and I were going ot do our Parody projecta couple weeks ago, Jurassic Park - kick ass dino costume. Well i wrecked my car .. so i'm still screwed witth that. I was so scared, but I was fine, I just have to get a new door and a tire. I Swear I'm bad luck, cuzthe next week, we went to Care's house for lunch adn she went off the road into some trees. It was her brakes... but mostly her. I was wearin the same shirt.. so I thought it was sort of weird. I have so many pics to take for photo in the folowing hours, cuz the quarter is over . Plus like 50 sketches adn a painting... so I dunno. I have two papers and a book to read this weekend.. so there goes all of my free time. OMG ! I think its time for WNN... I love that anchor guy! ITs 3 am so i think I'm going to bed, I need some sleep, cuz I pulled 2 allnighters last week. Bye
- xdigitaldollx 3:06:57 AM

Hi... I haven't been on here since September... arghhh... what a long fucking time. School has been sooo busy and I haven't the energy to make and keep up a site or even a journal. I'm gonna bomb my AP US history test tomorrow, cuz I stayed home today. I’m begging my rents to let me stay home on Saturday, cuz I really don't watn to attend this weeding that s mandatory. My mom uses the excuse, " You're going because I want people to go when I marry you girls off."

Anyways, lets do some catching up in reverse chronological order. October 6, that was homecoming. Not really a big event, just an expensive time to get dressed up. Dinner was ok, my group split up. Care, Lauryn, Jenna, & a few others went to Potomac Pizza, cuz Lill was being a bitch and demanded everybody go there.. Or something like that. Rose, others and me went to Ruby Tuesdays, but the wait was fucking 2 hours. So we went to Silver Diner. Anyways... the dance sucked. Then the limo came and we went cosmic bowling. We were so fucked up. Now I understand why cb is such a whore (long story... that is really degrading, funny, & unbelievable). Then we went and hung out at Denny's. One drug bust, passing out, lots of flirting, millions of pictures, bare flesh, and tons of crying later we went home, at like 4:00am. It was pretty damn fun. We should all do it again sometime... can't wait till prom. Care has become Lauryn’s bitch... literally.. In the course of several days, she’s done everything with her...because that’s how lauryn works... she befriends one person exclusively. It’s sorta sad. I got my license.... I can drive! Woo hoo... anyway... I'm gonna go see the Deftones in November... well if I get a ticket when they go on sale. I love them so much, the music just kicks ass!

Well I'm off to catch up on my homework....
- xdigitaldollx 7:33:53 PM

oh man.. sorry about that huge ass blank space below... I have no clue what the hell happened.. but you'll live.... but i is really big... hmmmmm?
- xdigitaldollx 8:06:37 AM

Dododdo ... HI! Oh man... I'm bored. Care, Lauryn, Rose, & I went to go see that cheerleading movie. I wanna be able to do that. Cheerleaders are like dancers that have gone retarded. hahahaha! We stopped by Potomac Pizza & got calizones... the ones they make are sooooooo good!

My hair has been butchered! The fucking lady put way too many layers in my hair.. I look so fucking retarded. It looks so drab brown. I made up my mind. On the 15th i'm going pink again. I can't take being a brunette.It'll make me feel better anyways.

Me & a couple other ppl stayed at Lauryn's the other night. We didn't do much. She still has this portrait of me when my hair was orange.. She has to finish it!! I can't believe she's actually to Denmark.. for a whole year! I'm gonna miss her sooo much! I have to go visit her..... me & jenna. She got her license too. She makes me sick.... in a good way.. She's so perfect at everything yet she's not a boring person. Anyways....

Then A few nights before that Care, Rose, & I, stayed at Jenna's. We played cards forever... Made 2 burnt pizzas (yuck) & played pool. Garrett & his lil bro were there too. His lil bro is such a doll! They went home at like 1 am cuz we go sick of them. They at 4 we got bored again & broke in to Garrett's house. well the door was unlocked.... "Redecorated" the down stairs, nearly had a heart attack, then went home. I got stuck in the fucking recliner... that thing hurts my back so much...

I'm in utter disbelief that school starts in 5 days! My schedule is as follows:

Pd	Semester I	Semester II
1	Honors English 11	Honors English 11
2	AP US History	AP US History
3	math	Law
4	Earth Sciences	Earth Sciences<
	Lunch	Lunch
5	Photo II	PE
6	SAT Prep	Photo II
7	Studio Art	math

This year sucks. I have really shitty classes. And I can't drive to school. My parents said they'd "lie" about my remaining hours so i can get my license. I just have to work a little on my parallel parking, then I'm set to go!
- xdigitaldollx 6:34:41 AM

Hello! hehe I'm sorta happy! I had so much fun tonight! I went out with Rose, her sister Eryn, & Julee. We went bowling. Well it was supposed to be cosmic bowling.. but we didn't stay long enough for that. One-sies. Its a bit nipply... *lol* Bounce Baby Bounce* I have to write all this down so I don't forget it..... We were getting ready to leave & these guys started talking to us. So we finally decided to give them a ride home.. 3 of them in addition to the 4 of us.... Eryn has a small Galant.. so we were lying across people & what not. The car would barely move! They made us drive around, & we stopped at some Korean temple... Eryn & Julee and Those guys were gonna leave us there.. in the middle of a huge ass town in the middle of the night! Rose & I were like, " We gonna stand on the corner & solicit sex." Well, actually I was. But then They made us get back in & one of the Mikes was like ," we can't leave so & so here ..." So then we make them get back into the care. & low & behold.... there is someone else with them... Another person to squeeze in the car. It fucking smelt like liquor sooo bad. We almost made one of them sit in the trunk until they got to their final destination. We got run off the road by two huge ass trucks. We were all like screaming. Beanie baby fight.... Candy cane anal probes. *LOL* It was fun. Stupid Julee had to be home early so we couldn't go out. Which sucked ass cuz Eryn's transferring to another college, so we can't hang out with her any more. Lauryn asked me to go out with her tonight... But my mom wouldn't let me so I didn't. Going out to eat. I told her she can say at my house on Saturday. Anyways *wink wink* . So many hot guys at the place....

I went shopping with Melonie & Walt on Wednesday. That was fun. We got thrown out of Ruby Tuesdays... I made him drive me everywhere. I wonder if he'll be my slave... heheh *evil grin* . He's old though.. but in think he's sorta cute.. I'd jump him... & the Fed EX guy *ROTFL* Now the Fed EX guy.. that's a story to tell. hehe I'm all giggles. Well I'm gonna go take a shower.. at 3 am I have no idea why... And when I wake up I'll make a hair appointment, go to the mall, do my thin, make some plans, & let the day continue from there.
- xdigitaldollx 3:04:19 AM

Good evening everyone! Blah, I'm sorta pissed, but then its so pointless its not worth it. My older sis said she'd take me shopping, but her BF, whom I had she was going out with until her Bday, cancelled those plans. But that's ok, it sounded like they were really pissed at doing that to me. I just don't want Mel to beat her self up over it.. cuz she's never really happy. Anyways. I need to figure out how to do a private post. I have some stuff that I don't want certain ppl reading. So if anyone knows how email me!! Rose spent the night a few days ago.. I have to thank her for watching me clean my room for like 2 hours & sitting up doing nothing while I slept in late. First we went to the fair to see Carolyn, before she left. Stupid bitch.... she left us!!! I never thought she'd do a thing like that. Care of all people. It started to rain so we left. Then we rented a whole bunch of movies. Video stores suck around here, because they have virtually no DVD's. You should have seen us, we were like kids in a candy shoppe in the Horror aisle. That's a weird word, aisle. We settled on Bleeders. Some gothic horror movie... It was so not worth the $1.99 I paid to rent it. But Idle Hands was pretty funny. How come he didn't seem to care he killed his parents??? Oh did I mention I dyed my locks brown again.. well actually burgundy black/brown. It plain, but I like it. My dad got this yummy coconut cake... that Pepperidge Farm stuff. I love it! Well I'm off to go write down my dreams real quick, then read Death of a Salesman.
- xdigitaldollx 9:16:54 PM

I'm sorta tired... I can't sleep. I think that because I slept some weird hours today. Like noon to 7:30 pm.. then from 11:15 to 2:45 am. I'm going to be so screwed up by the time school starts. Which reminds me I have to finish reading my books for school.. I read about 130 pages of Maya Angelou... I have to finish that and read another,, its not too much.,. but I hate to sit still and read. I'd rather listen to it on tape But they rip you off for those things. I wanted to get some book on tape for my AP US history class, but no one has it and its still over $100 for a used set! So I had to pass and not read the book. not like I wanted to anyway.. but I wanted to start my year off good. I think I'm gonna go pick up my schedule today for school and change my classes I don't like. Because I'm afraid I'll get stuck with ceramics II instead of Photo II, which would really blow. But I also want to go get my hair cut. It needs it sooo bad! I also got rid of my peenk strands! I now have SHITTY brown hair! I hate it . I DID dark brown but I'm gonna put some burgundy over it so is looks a little better. I might just have to bleach it all out and do it pink again! I hate being a brunette! I thought I looked so good with pink hair. People always said I had the right complexion for it. ..... oh well. I'm doing some make up thing on Reflect.com. Maybe I'll find some pretty new shades. Oh wait ... you even get to design the packaging! That's neat!
It was soooo nice listening to the leaves rustle and the bugs. Its so relaxing. Earlier yesterday I think it would be now.. I looking out the doors in the living room and it was all sunny. then I just started to rain... there wasn't even a cloud in the sky. I was flipping through the channels and "porcelain" by Moby, was playing. I looked out side and it was beautiful! The shadows of the trees made my house all dark, and the open field was all bright and sunny, an then behind the field it was all dark. It was simply beautiful. I love moments like that , they make me feel so content.
I talked to Rose for a bit last night. We were mourning over our lose of Carolyn. She's all grown up and went on her first date yesterday. We were like she's never gonna have time for us now.. and you know if it works out.. she's not gonna have the time for us. Which sucks, cuz we're gonna miss her while she's out and we're at home doing shit. Me and Rose still have to meet the guy... we're going to , eventually. Care's a very quiet person. She keeps her business to herself. She won't even let us meet her friends from her old school. She say, " They might like you guys more than they like me," or vice versa. How could anybody stop likening care as a friend liking, she's so nice! Well I'm gonna try to get some shut eye before the sun comes up all the way.....
- xdigitaldollx 6:26:09 AM

I'm feeling like shit... my life seems worse every day... I was talking to rose earlier on the phone. something I rarely do. everybody always seems to do stuff.. but nooo not me.. she told me its because I never call ppl and ask them do stuff. that's because I never know what to do. she thinks I'd rather sit at home doing nothing. I hate that. that's all ever do. nothing! I always do that .. nothing. I have the most boring life .
I think I'm getting to the point where I have this social phobia. I went to the bookstore today to get come stuff for school. I got all hot and flustered in the parking lot like it was scared to be there. I was to scared to even look for the books I wanted. I didn't even know whereto start. I mean I've been in a book store before. but I was lost. it truly seems like forever since I've been somewhere.. you have to understand I live out in the middle of nowhere an I can't drive.. legally.. so I'm stuck catching rides .
another thing that just makes me feel shitty. oh I'm not gonna even start on that on.. not now at least.
I'm very emotional now. maybe its post pms or something.
so rose tells me that on of my friends met a new guy, I'm soooo very very very happy for her yet I'm jealous of her, too.I never meet guys. never. I don't even have any male friends. its just bizarre. I've never even been out on a date. it sucks. I don't know all this is just crap. I think I'll try to get some rest and clear my mind.
- xdigitaldollx 5:10:46 AM

i'm just seeng if this is working.. it appears not to be..
- xdigitaldollx 5:51:03 AM

arghhhhh! i'm sorta pissed. i haven't be able to get on my computer for a week now! i can't check my email or update my site all because its all stored on the computer my sister and i share... and its broken. we thought the modem was busted... so we went and bought a new one.. but it still doesn't work.. it must be the cord. anyway. my dad and i wen to compUSA to look around ( i 've been wanting my own pc for a while now) and we started looking at color laser printers. my dads about to drop $2600 on one... and yet he won't buy me a new computer. he keeps saying next week, next week. but it never comes. finally the parental units ( and my lil sis) agreed! so yeah i'm getting one real soon.. all my own! i'm soo happy.. no more having to deal with this crap between me and my sister on who gets the computer and when.
i noticed how this blogger doesn't insert the space and tab bars.. that sorta makes everything super hard to read. oh yeah.. i've already layout my new design! its called paperdoll, and it is themed around a pic of talena atfield from kittie. i think its gonna be awesome! but i'm sorta sad to let this one go since its only been a while and all the comments i've gotten on it are good ones.
well i'm jus posting crap on here now ( makes me think i need a section just for news). later
- xdigitaldollx 10:22:31 PM

damn, i'm up early.. it's so rare that i actually get up this early during the summer. but my schedule has gone haywire. some days i'll wake up at midnight others its 5pm. i dunno. some stuff is just screwed up. i was sitting her thinking i need a new layout. i think i'll have a new one soon, even thought i just put up this one.gosh, i see my dog just tearing up my yard. well its actually my sisters dog. she just sorta left it here one day and its been here ever since. her name is samme. she makes me miss my old dog. i didn't even cry when my dad told me he was dead. i mean i wanted to.. but i couldn't i didn't want to show my emotions infront of my friend who was with me at the time . i acted like i hated that dog. but i didn't. i mean sure he was bad and all, but i still loved him.. he was still a puppy. enough about that before i start to cry. i was watching tv yesterday.. its all crap on there, never anything good. but i was watching part of this movie on the love stories channel.. it was about a guy and his romances. it made me think if would ever fall in love or even be in a relationship. i mean here i am 16 ( i know its only the beginning of my life) and i haven't even had a bf yet. hell i haven't even been on a date. oh wait.. well i sorta went on one.. but it was a shopping trip. oddly enough. my friends and i all thought he was gay.. apparently he wasn't cuz all i ever heard from ppl is how much he likes me.. it actually got to the point to where i think he was officially obsessed. it was sorta scary.any ways .... i was thinking what if i spent my life alone. i don't want to go through life like that. but then i watched "benny & joon" for the 3rd time and even joon fell in love in a way.. so maybe i will too. but then she gets shot at the end.. so i don't know about that.

i had a weird dream last night. well it wasn't weird but then not really. the setting was at my house.. i live out in the country in the middle of nowhere to let you know. i was out side and i heard my neighbors et their house on fire. ( their house is separated for mine by 300 yards of forest) and i ran inside to call the fire dept. and asked my dad if the number was 911 and he said no so i'm there looking through the little red phonebook for the number.. and it ends up being 911. so i go back outside, and the trees are all on fire,.. then i notice that some ones been build a house in the field next to my house right along the fence. then my mom starts talking to me about it and its al these old ppl living there. so then i go back in y house and then i go back out side to try to get some of the fire out with a hose.. but by then its mostly diapered. the n some more old people built a house right behind mine .. like 15 feet for my deck.. where my pool is. and i'm like " they're can't do that . build a house in my back yard.. aren't there building codes?!!!!" and my mom was like" yes.. they can build their house there.." then i hit my arm on the wall and woke up.

i had this other dream too... me, my little sister and some one else were running from school ( well i found out i had to go back to the middle school for half the day for some reason. ) and we were running and we end up at my granddads old house. w each drink milk and we are rushing cuz we're not supposed to be there and i'm trying to wash the glasses but they won't come clean. so finally we get outta there and we're running an trying to get to the next town where my other grandma lives. we end up going up this stair case which is some ones house and i'm like i'm sooo sorry ( i had deja vu in my dream cuz i knew i had dreamt this part before) so we leave and then we hit a sign that say the town is that way so we go.. only we come across this really scary steep twisty bridge. and we can't climb it .. so we rush to get on another bridge . but this bridge is made like of those ones you see in a ball pin at discovery zone. with the mesh walls and all. so we're climbing it then .. we see this guy who's trying to get us.. he's this evil cartoon character who's just getting outta prison and suffers from severe body odor. so we're trying to get away form him.. and on the way we stumble across this photo shoot for a catalog. and at the end i jump from the bridge and i land next to this person who has a pound puppy blanket set... with little purple hearts... it was weird.. then i woke up...

all this stuff is crap.. so i guess i'll go..
- xdigitaldollx 10:07:35 AM