email stuff to mushsis@hotmail.com

Wednesday, August 08, 2001

So sometimes I kinda get this feeling - like I might be missing those crazy-long shifts oncall - so I do one now and again, as locum you understand, and you know - I don't really miss it at all.
posted by mushsis 8/8/2001 03:05:42 PM

Friday, June 29, 2001

ah me. I know Iknow I've been neglecting you.
So what news?
well as you all know we're just back from the brink int he dam. For me at least, it was a bit of a mental rollercoaster. Too much in the way of psychotropics - where it kind of hovers above that grey area where FUN turns into SCARY. Oh yes indeeed, there are places in your head you should not see in this lifetime. Times I thought I would never leave - a permanent darkness that would not let me go unscathed. It's still in there somewhere clawing at my sanity, and that's a chilling thought.

But we got out in time. And it WAS fun and it was funny too.
And I will go back there one day, but not just yet. am still too fragile.
posted by mushsis 6/29/2001 02:56:28 PM

Tuesday, April 17, 2001

posted by mushsis 4/17/2001 06:28:06 PM

The Scream

"I was walking along the road with two friends.
The sun was setting.
I felt a breath of melancholy -
Suddenly the sky turned blood-red.
I stopped, and leaned against the railing, deathly tired -
looking out across the flaming clouds that hung like blood and a sword
over the blue-black fjord and town.
My friends walked on - I stood there, trembling with fear.
And I sensed a great, infinite scream pass through nature."
E.Munch
posted by mushsis 4/17/2001 06:20:46 PM

Wednesday, April 11, 2001

Gosh

One of the biggest heart-wrenching moments, happened a little while ago.
I had the honour of becoming godmother to the sweetest little girl in the world. Amelia is only four, and so full of passion for life. She's bright and fun and clever, and her sparkle lights up the room. S and I love her to bits.
She takes my breath away.
posted by mushsis 4/11/2001 03:17:05 PM

Friday, April 06, 2001

Don't Panic

well the talk is over.. went ok I think.
It's only 3 weeks till we have to hand in all our projects. And it seemed like only yesterday I was running around A+E with only dreams of spending my days in front of a computer...
5 weeks till exams.
1 week till M's wedding.
The countdown has started.
posted by mushsis 4/6/2001 01:22:22 PM

Friday, March 23, 2001

Ugh the scary side of student life rears it's ugly head.
Have to do presentation next week, and am preparing to die on stage (as usual).
I mean, what do I know about genetic programming?? (Actually the genetic part is okay, it's the programming bit I'm floundering on).
Ah well, what doesn't kill you ...
Hmmm.
posted by mushsis 3/23/2001 12:00:14 PM

Thursday, March 08, 2001

It's beentooo long. Where do I start?
Again. I start again.

Feels strange being student again. Different than last time. It's not just me that's different. It's everything.
Better. And worse.

Generally happier times are upon me. Simplicity is the key.
It's the small things - a sincere compliment, a hug from a friend, a smile, THAT smile, the sun on your face...

I can finally take the time to appreciate these things. To let the ones I love know that. I think they do.

There has not been a moment that I have felt I made the wrong decision to leave. Not yet.
posted by mushsis 3/8/2001 01:26:38 PM