At the beginning, this was everything it was cracked up to be. A place where I could express myself uncensored, and feel a release by writing. But as time moved forward, that changed. Honestly? I think I'm not the only one it has changed for... This teen-domain scene is full of bullshit that most of you understand but are too attached to let go of.

I'm letting go.

I don't feel like writing in an online journal where I feel I'm being judged and censored. It was great at the beginning when everyone "liked" you, but living up to expectations of what you're supposed to write about and how you're supposed to write it is absolute nonsense. This wasn't supposed to be about having a layout with trends that everyone would eventually copy. I really don't care that I have a website with however many visitors. I'm sick and tired of checking my tracker or my guestbook. Maybe I'm changing.. I'm finally realizing, at least.

I'll probably be back. But hopefully when I am back, it'll be different. I won't have a site that's on a teen domain... I'm 18 and I've done this already, anyways. I'll have a freespeech site where I'll write journal entries about everything and anything, a personal domain with a purpose, no tracker, a shit layout, and 3 visitors a day. Now that would make me happy.

Perhaps I'm just a sucker for simplicity...

There's no use to sticking with this when I want to be free from it. It's not doing anything for me. Just a place to waste my time and energy on, wishing I were free.

I'm not letting go of the internet...and I'm definitely not feeding you any crap about how I have no time management skills and have a real life to keep up with. I'll probably still post at UBB's and BP's for as long as they're interesting to me. And once Cafe 29 is fully up and operational, I'll be there...designing, posting, and whatnot with Emma.

If you want to actually stay in contact with me because you're a friend or even if you're just reading this and feel like doing so, e-mailing me would be the best way to do so. I'll probably reply.

Thank you to everyone. Thank you to those people who were my real friends, because you actually truly cared about me and my site for reasons that weren't just to sound "caring" and "considerate" around me so you would get linked or you would think I liked you. And thank you to those of you who never really realized that you didn't care two shits about me and sucked up, because of you I realized how being here was so useless.

Marina, you're everything that everyone thinks you are. You gave me a reason to believe that the teen domain scene didn't have to be psycho-depressed and those who were popular and (fakely) loved didn't have to be those who cut themselves, pretending to be deep. You made this place a little less phony.

This feels better already. I know that doing this is the right solution.

          Ī Isabel

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