g o t l u c k y d o t n e t

Ding Dong, the Varmint's Dead

The Enemy

That's right ladies and gents, the varmint is dead! For those of you who didn't know, I've had a pesky motherfucking squirrel breaking into my house for the better part of the summer. One lousy squirrel has torn huge holes in the siding of my house, so he could take up residence in the attic above my bedroom.

The war started when he decided to roll acorns across my ceiling one Sunday morning at around 7am. I went outside, only to catch the fucker sitting calmly on the eve above my bedroom window. He was throwing his tail around like he owned the place, and to be quite honest, he did. I debated shooting the fucker with a pellet gun at the time, but with my luck, I'd wound the critter, only to have him run back into my house and die. No one wants rotting animal flesh in their attic, right? So I figured it would be best to call in the experts.

So the first guy from Newsom's Wildlife Pest Control came by and gave me an estimate. He went all around the outside of the house with me, and then went over a very detailed list of what I needed. He charged me $65 to come out, and it appears that money does not even apply to any services. Have you heard of such a thing? So...among the items I needed, was some crap to keep raccoons out, etc., all tolled it came to over $1,000. That's right folks, that does not even include the damn $65 fee. Right, so...what they were going to do for $1,000, was they would install a one way trap door on the holes in my siding. That would let the fucker out, but not back in, right? Then they would spray the side of the house to keep him away with some Bitter Apple type of stuff -- you know, to prevent the fucker from trying it again. Now the rest of the money would then go to the cost of 'coon proofing my house too. You know, build a blockade against critters, and all of this for a mere $1,000, and I would receive a 6 year warranty (did I mention I don't even have a raccoon problem?). Now, does this warranty cover me if the critter starts a new hole on the side of my house? NO! That would be a new fee. Are you starting to smell the varmint here?

So apparently in America, it can cost you over $1,000 to get rid of ONE FUCKING SQUIRREL!

So then I called a few other places. One guy said: "look lady, go up there, put a light on in your attic, and a radio and blast it as loud as you can for 5 days, then seal the siding shut -- they don't like the noise". Well guess what? I DON'T EITHER! He even went so far as to come over to my house to tell me that, then said "just have your husband go up there and cover up the holes". I guess my money wasn't green enough, because apparently I couldn't even pay this fucker to get rid of it. What part did he miss that stated the squirrel was camping out RIGHT OVER MY BEDROOM? Is it really a great idea to blast a radio over your bedroom for 5 days, just to get the fucker to vacate? Only to what? Tear a new hole on the other side of the house? *sigh*

The last guy I found was a guy by the name of Gary at Remedy Pest/Wildlife Control. Gary is a pro. Gary informed me that he used to try and "relocate and rehabilitate" the critters, but let's face it. If they have a propensity to tear into your house, they will do it elsewhere -- or worse, come back. That's right. All those little chew marks all over my house is that little fucker's way of marking his territory. Gary and I talked a lot about animal behavior, and he seemed smart. Let's face it, all the one-way trap door thing does is ensure that those fuckers have an ongoing business. No, I agree with Gary, the evil varmint's must be trapped and removed from the population. Once they become violators, they will always be violators.

So it was then I decided that Gary was the man for me. He trapped and euthanaised the fucker -- as I intially thought, it was a large male. That's right folks, I managed to get the silverback of North Austin. And all this, for the low, low price of less than 1/4 of what Mr. Newsom wanted.

I have decided to include some good squirrel links here:

Outwitting Squirrels
Squirrel Squat Squads
We Have Met the Enemy, and They Are Cute
Oksana Says "Know Thy Enemy"
Kylie's Public Service Announcement
Scary Squirrels

I have been thrilled with a sense of victory from this most auspicious event. So much so, that I decided to write a few haiku:

squirrel in my attic
uninvited guest
the trap has worked!
yeeee hawww!

There was a squirrel
he is dead!
varmint man
killed him

silverback squirrel
thought he was cool
caught in trap!
oh my

squirrel with penis
peeing on branches
that was okay
until he came here

acorns rolling
in the attic above
you thought you were smart
I'm smarter

all have pity
you are so cute
but alas
you suck!

black plague
it is said you carry
evil critter
fuck off

overgrown rat
with a fluffy tail
I bet you make
crappy soup

arrogant rodent
moved into my house
until today
I took it back!

chewed attic wires
sharpened teeth
I bet you have fleas
and stink

I suspect if you have any haiku you would like to contribute, you can send em to me at: deadcritter@gotlucky.net

Okay, thanks! :)
posted by . gotlucky . 11:17 PM

Tuesday, September 11, 2001

Farewell Innocence

What a dark day for the world, we are forever changed. I am probably the last person in the world who you should be seeking comments from. My family is all okay, but I had to wake my family on the West coast to the tragedies this morning. My family in New York is all accounted for and okay. How terribly sorry I am for those who can not say the same.

Grandfather Great Spirit
All over the world the faces of living ones
are alike.
With Tenderness they have come up out
of the ground.
Look upon your children that they may
face the winds and walk the good road to
the Day of Quiet.
Grandfather Great Spirit
Fill us with the light.
Give us strength to understand,
and the eyes to see.
Teach us to walk the soft Earth as relatives
to all that live.

- Sioux Prayer

posted by . gotlucky . 8:09 PM

Sunday, September 09, 2001

A New Blowdryer, Two Shitty Dates, Kenshin Marathon #5, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

That's just great. A series of really heinous dates has left me to wonder why I even bother anymore. It makes a grrrl want to reconsider her orientation, that's for sure.

The good news? I've been cutting some hair lately, that's been productive. By the way, good thing I ordered a new blow dryer the other day, since I just fried my last one on Thursday. That's right folks, they have the tendency to blow up on occasion. I bought the same one I had, I hope it gets here soon! All I need now is a cutting stool and I'm on my way. I think I'll order one online this afternoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last week I had a huge Kenshin marathon. It appears I needed to catch up on some 2.5 DVD's. Well, I'm even more of an addict now, if that's possible. My friend Doug seems to think Kenshin sounds too much like a girlie-man. Agreed, I believe that was done intentionally -- it's a part of his soft character. Richard Hayworth is the voice actor, and he is very soft spoken. My little wandering swordsman, how I love thee...

So then I realized that I needed to order all the new versions, and then it hit me. I am missing episodes like 24 - 27 (or some such thing)! How could I! I was devistated, I ordered a rush on the DVD's as to not get further out of sync than I already am. The virgo in me is screaming; "Oh, the injustice!". Freak. Just what an unemployed girl needs to be doing. Oh whatever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many updates to the hapa pages over the next few days, be sure to check it out :)

posted by . gotlucky . 4:35 PM

Sunday, September 02, 2001

New Hair & No Boys With Tattoos :(

Weekend good so far. No idea why, feel like talking in caveman sentences.

The W and I went out yesterday afternoon to a fab lunch in South Austin at Guerros. It seems that neither of us had been there in forever, and she wanted to take me somewhere cool for cutting her hair last week. Next thing ya know, we found ourselves in the middle of some shopping frenzy. Botique-ing all around South Austin. It was there we met tons of little kitchy shop owners who were all either, straight-gay men, gay-straight men, or just plain old gay-gay men. For some reason they all wanted to talk to us. I guess it's hard to resist a bunch of chicks in tattoos. At one vintage shop, this gay-gay man chased W around the store with clothes, demanding that she try them on. He came up with these Casual Corner skirts telling her "oh wait, here try this -- it's great this season." By the time she made it to the dressing room, she had handfuls of clothes ranging from some fucking prarie skirt, to some pastel-colored 70's striped capri pants. I shouldn't have, but I was laughing because I know she wanted to clothes-line his ass. :)

Later we found ourselves on the drag shopping for some boba -- duh. It was the single item missing from our repitoire during my gall bladder madness, we had missed that so much. Poor W, she's got a slight caffiene addiction. It's okay, I remember back when I had a job too. Did a little more shopping on the drag, we grabed some new tattoo magazines, then headed home.

Around 10 pm, we went back downtown to 6th street. Now, yesterday was the UT football opener, so it just seemed that there were students and parents abound. Well, that's because there was. And lemme tell ya folks, that's one huge love-hate relationship. The students are what keeps this community vital in many ways, and yet their presence can drive me fucking nuts on occasion. So, after being spoiled with no students all summer, here we were in the middle of the mele. There were people everywhere in burnt orange golf shirts and shorts. We must have drove for almost an hour before happening across a pay lot we could squeeze into. We took the last space. Being labor day weekend, being the UT football game, being the first weekend the students are back... it all made for a very dubious scene downtown. I think in the future, I won't be going downtown on nights like that. Yet... we persisted.

By the way, I changed my hair.

We headed straight to the Ritz for some coctails, but for some retarded reason I ordered my usual drink. I have no idea why I did, the smell of vodka was enough to make me yak. I put the drink down and switched to soda & lime. I occasionally drink beer as well, but since I had crappy beer the night before, I couldn't stand the thought of that either (more about that later). So off we were after a drink, and a noticibly target-void environment of cute boys with tattoos. Later we headed over to the Black Cat to catch the Flametrick Subs. There are a few things to note about the Black Cat Lounge. First of all, it's an Austin live music institution. Second of all, they have no air conditoning. Erm, did you hear me? NO air conditioning. Lastly, they have the single nastiest bathrooms in the entire state of Texas. This last point I'm not *absolutley* sure about, but so far none have challenged me -- not even the door grrrl. That's right kittens, if you go to the BCL, do not drink those 16 oz cans of Lone Star beer, because invariably you will have to pee. Well.... assuming you don't sweat it all out first. Now the weather in Austin has not been the hotest of late, but it has been so fucking humid you could cut it with a knife. Needless to say, I could feel every pore on my body, standing in that club last night. The show? Oh hell, the show was fine, but AGAIN.... a serious void of tattooed boys -- waddup!??!?! I bet they couldn't park and all ran away. Next time we'll do the same and drive over to the Continental Club or sumthin.

So that all worked out good, but we then realized we hadn't eaten since lunch. We were hungry, and rather than have to beat up all the parents and kids at Katz's, we decided to go to Stars instead. When we got in there, she said "now don't keep changing your mind about what you want, otherwise they will spit in your food". So the waitress comes by, and I had my order all planned out -- a ham and cheese omlette. She says "ohhhh...sorry, we're out of ham". From that point on, I was history. So I managed to get some other variety of omlette, and hashed browns (because they were out of french fries too?). The food tasted great, and it wasn't enough to kill me. We headed out on our merry way, and went home. I dropped the W off sometime after 2am, and headed home myself. Strangest thing happened about 30 minutes later whereby I felt like my stomach was going to explode. Without getting into too much detail, it wasn't like I could puke or anything productive like that -- I just stayed up all night feeling like I drank a gallon of vodka instead. I finally got to sleep sometime today around 1am.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now at this point, I have to rewind a bit. Joan and I went to the Hole in the Wall on Friday night to see Fair Warning again. Check it out folks, they sounded so good this time, but like, I paid 4 fucking dollars and I didn't get to see ANY penis. WTF up with that? totaly not the show of last time, that's for sure. Oh well, it was such a good price last time, I knew it was to be just a one time deal....
posted by . gotlucky . 2:46 PM

Thursday, August 30, 2001

Tying One On & Hair Drama

Alrighty.... no more liquid love for me this week. Perhaps two? Who knows...

After spending all morning Tuesday puking some rather good Vodka, I've decided to take a break. Can't imagine why. My group of former co-workers had a happy hour that started sometime on Monday evening around 5pm. I got there at 6, so it seemed I had to make-up for some lost time. Needless to say, I spent the next day:

1. Revisiting my last meal.
2. Sucking on Gatorade and ice chips.
3. Making Andrew drive me to get my car at the bar, where it was left the night before.
4. Multiple swigs of Pepto -- just for fun.

Lessons in life; do not take a merry band of unemployed high-tech fuckers out for drinks on an empty stomach. What a waste of good Vodka.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So...it doesen't take long to happen. It's like, I've been out of work for about a month now and some people are almost 100% off my radar. I figured it wouldn't happen to me, not with certain friends of mine, but here I am. I suspect it's the way of that corporate hell I was in, and many ways I'm glad to be out. You definitely find out who your real friends are. Not so strangely, I find myself becoming closer than ever to my friends who work outside the company. I figure this is the healthiest thing I've done in ages for my social life. My next step will be even better...

And what of this mess? I found out yesterday that my former employer cancelled my insurance -- so here I sit with no medical coverage. I was told they would be paying my insurance for 6 months, but now I have to figure out the disconnect. I spent the whole day on the phone with my medical insurance folks. It turns out the hospital who removed my gall bladder overcharged me for some services (a few hundred dollars worth) and forgot to tell me. Shocking, I'm sure. Other departments are still billing me, what a total cluster fuck.

So how do I feel 'post-seperation'? As you can tell, a little bitter. My team got hung out to dry. None of us have new jobs yet, less one, and she hates hers. I suspect she will quit by the end of the year. One person lost the house they were building, others took remedial jobs, only to leave them within a week. It's not a good situation, and actually, it's quite bad.

In case I never told you -- I used to be a hairdresser. That's right, I cut hair for about 6 years before going to college. One of my old college professors once told me, "Deborah, you're a smart girl, you've always got a trade to fall back on.". I kept thinking "yeah right". I mean, how could one be in the final throws of their undergraduate degree plan, thinking of a 'fall back'? I was in my prof's office talking to him about referral letters for graduate school, why the hell would I want to fall back on cosmetology. If you learn one thing in life kats and kittens, never say never. I put up with a single semester of graduate school before I came to Austin. Yuck. I could not stand the arrogance I encoutered, and my lack of interest was showing. No, I needed to get back out and start to earn money again. And earn money I did, that is until last month. And the term 'fall back' is really unfair here. At first people's reaction is always the same "oh, I'm sorry...." Okay, why the hell are you sorry? I don't have to work stocking shelves at Walmart, I have a trade -- a fun trade I might add. What is more fun than having your hands on new people every day, and rocking out to loud music to spur your creative juices? The hours aren't great, but they suit a night owl like me, whatever, I have no social life as it were. Please people, do not be sorry, I consider myself very lucky. I am thanking my parents for putting me through beauty college back in the 80's.... what a luckygirl I am. What's more, is that at this point in life, I *really* look forward to meeting some new clients, and rockin some mad locks. I keep vowing to email that very professor this month and let him know exactly what has happened. He would probably get a good grin out of it, and not in a bad way. Maybe he'd even let me take him out to lunch the next time he comes to Austin...

So...my deal? I'm redoing my hair resume, and that's providing a few problems. I can't happen to find one of my very old resumes, so it makes the dates, etc. a little sketchy. Other than that, I hurry up and wait while processing a mound of paperwork. I have to get my insurance shit straightened out so I can get that certificate of health for the Board of Barbering and Cosmetology. Basically, one paper trail after another. See... I still have a current license in the state of California, I just need to get it all worked out in Texas. Each state has their own retarded regulations, luckily all I have to do is a paper trail. And it's not all that bad. I'm presently researching courses to take in Dallas, Houston, etc. I suspect I could even consider a course at the Sassoon Academy. I'm seeking a new blow dryer, and thinking of ways to build my business quickly here in town. I can hardly tell you what a relief it is to know in my heart that I won't have to work for the man forever, I can work for myself sooner rather than later. It's a nice feeling, but I would say the best part is that I'm going to be able to earn a living doing creative work that I love. An industry that embraces the freak in me, I no longer have to cover up tattoos or take out piercing jewlery for executive briefings. I'm free to put new ink wherever I want, with little consideration of how hard it will be to cover up when I go to the office. YAY!

I have a few leads on shops here in town, however I'm trying to get my license straightened out first. I figure even if I have to get a temporary license, I WILL be working again before the hollidays. I think that's the perfect time to do some serious business, our industry is always bumpin then. Hard work, weekends, late nights... that's how I'll make my next fortune. *cough*

Why am I up writing this at 5am? Let's just say, sometimes your conscience can weigh a lot. Sometimes life would be so much easier if I was a man, and didn't have one.
posted by . gotlucky . 5:05 AM

Monday, August 27, 2001

Here we are again, no idea where to start.

Things have been strange of late, it's almost painful to journal here. I have had a lot of friends in need lately, and it's been okay. I suppose it allows me to concentrate on others and not think about my own issues.

I have made a very conscious decision NOT to re-enter the tech industry. I think it's strange, the second I came to that conclusion, I felt as though a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I feel liberated. The days ahead will keep me busy, this I know. Tomorrow I'm going to the gym for a change, last week got fucked over. Things are on *my* time now.

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I've recently re-discovered Vodka. I'm really travel weary. I want so bad to trust people, to believe them, but...let's face it, not everyone approaches situations with the same intent that we do. Maybe they just aren't capable. I sit here alone, lonely and fucking pissed off. I have vodka as my friend. I'm drinking the rest of this bottle of Monopolova. The very same bottle that destroyed me and Tom's relationship. Funny to think it's my friend right now. If you can imagine, it all goes back to this one fucking bottle of potato vodka. And right now, it feels like I'm drinking a glass of pure rubbing alcohol, but whatever...it's pink, it's numbing me, and I feel ..... everything, still.
posted by . gotlucky . 12:29 AM

 

 

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