I live in Washington, DC, and was at work during the attacks in New York and just over the Potomac River on the Pentagon, about a mile from my former employer. Its crazy, had this happened one year ago, I could very well have bee driving to work while watching a plane hit our nation's central defense system.
But I was lucky; I merely sat in the office in horror with many similarly-effected co-workers as we braced for the worst. Rumors started flying about a car bomb going off in front of the State Dept., maybe three blocks from my office, and that the Old Executive Office building, where I was convinced that my brother-in-law worked, was on fire. There was an unaccounted-for airplane apparently flying north up the Potomac River, presumably headed for either the Capitol building or the White House.
My office is pretty much right between both.
Then I remembered an email I received the night before from a friend in Boston. She told me she was flying to California Tuesday morning.
One of the planes that toppled the World Trade Center left from Boston, and was headed towards Calfornia.
About an hour or so after the Pentagon attack, I received perhaps the most important, yet simple, email of the day: she wasn't on the flight. But her three sentence message conveyed an even stronger message, she had been allowed on her plane despite accidentally leaving her ID in her luggage.
Essentially, I or anyone could've boarded a plane in Boston that morning with no ID. If you can get on a plane without ID, imagine how easy it is to get on with weapons.
In all honesty, my fear subsided slightly when I heard of her safety, and I heard that American fighter jets were circulating both DC and New York. My thoughts now turned to those I know working in the Capital. One friend had deserted his House office building, while my brother-in-law had been evacuated shortly after 10am.
Meanwhile, we waited.
We were allowed to leave if we wanted, but we all determined that sitting in our office building with Airforce security hovering above us would be safer than navigating the snarled streets of DC. I don't regret the decision, even though my parents and sister asked me to leave. Where was I to go?
My parents wanted me to drive an hour north to home. I knew that wasn't an option. Too far, and I'd be in traffic, feeling like a sitting duck, for hours.
I stayed put, with much of my co-workers, and tried to get some work done.
Around 330pm, I set out to leave. Another co-worker warned me from taking the metro, so I walked home. It's a hike, but it was such a beautiful day. I kept thinking about a news report I heard earlier, that whoever plotted the attack could've picked a better day. So beautiful, peaceful, and unassuming. Who could've predicted the horror that awaited us?
I spent the night at my sister's, who lives just over the DC border. More for my parents' sake than mine, or so I thought, as she only lives a few miles from my place. But being among loved ones that night was such an incredible feeling: I feel horrible now saying this, but I honestly felt at peace as I fell asleep; I knew I wasn't alone.
I went to work the next day. I had fewer worries, as it appeared the worse was over. And to be frank, I felt defiant, empowered, and proud to get on the bus and walk into my office. Sure, there was a military presence around the city I'd never felt before. But here I was, and here were thousands of others, going to work - sticking their thumb up to whoever did this - the very next day.
Incredible.
Who knew that getting on a bus and getting that first cup of water from the lounge area would be so fulfilling. Here we were, one day after probably the worst terrorist attack EVER, and we were back to work. The Pentagon was open, and we stood together, defying the monster who did this.
But of course, there was the downside. No news that day would be good; casualties continued to mount. We tried our best to get work done, but not anyone could remain truly focused.
Then there were reports of anti-Arab attacks on innocents in our country. How ironic; we get hit by the worse terrorist attack imaginable, and some respond with the same motives. In all the stories of bravery and heroism, there was the ugly side as well.
My mind continued spinning, and I don't think it'll ever stop, about what happened, what will happen, and what caused it all.
Those who point to bin Laden say he blames our policy towards Israel. Well, that means that the attack wasn't on just America, but on all Western interests. DC and New York might as well have been London and Paris.
If it's a jihad, than we could be in incomprehensible trouble. Remember the Crusades? When a bunch of self-righteous Christians decided to take over the Holy Land centuries ago? And kill anyone in the way?
Could this be payback? Seems far-fetched, but a jihad does mean "Holy War," and the last I checked, so did "crusade."
This is what scares me. We have no idea who did this, what we're up against, or where they are. If this bin Laden guy is as smart as everyone says he is, do you think he's still in Afghanistan? What happens if we bomb that country and find out he's long gone? Judging by our lax airport security, he could very well be in this country right now!
But what if its not him? What if those reports are wrong? I'm fully convinced that the scariest thing in threatening America is school shootings because there's no way to prevent them. There's no clear bad guy to point to, even though everyone likes to blame TV and video games.
This could be worse. Not only do we now know who did it, we don't know where it originated from. And if it is bin Laden, he's probably no where near where we think.
In the meantime, I say we try to get back to living life as normally as possible. If this is an attack on our - i.e. Western - way of life, let's be defiant and get back to work. It's the very least we can do.