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Beer is pretty
However my wife is learning how to brew. I don't understand a bit of it except for the fact that I now have 5 gallons of hard cider to drink. Ouch, twist my arm a little more... Oh well, out with the beer. In with the hard cider. I know that I'm not going to complain. I like hard cider!posted by Ken Boucher 2/21/2001 10:36:28 AM link to this item
A return to the bachelor life
Nothing causes chaos in the kitchen like a small child. My son is just under two years old and the kitchen has been... unusual at best. The truth is that there just isn't the time for the experiments we used to do, so it's been a year of refining techniques, seasoning a cast iron pan, and realizing that trying to cook with a toddler is an adventure in chaos.
For those who come across these words and are looking for wisdom, I can only offer the following truth. Your child will love chili. Your nose will regret it. Feeding your child chili is simply bad karma. No matter what your wife says, don't let her do it.
posted by Ken Boucher 2/21/2001 10:33:48 AM link to this item
We're back
Sorry for the departure but Bachelor Kitchen stadium has undergone some revisions. First my wife put in a brand new floor. (YAY!!!!!) and then the stove died. (boo!). But now the new stove is in, the cookies are flowing, and we should be back to making culinary history soon enough. Keep those cards and letters coming!posted by Ken Boucher 4/25/2000 11:46:50 AM link to this item
Ramen noodles for Meg
Before cooking the Ramen, prepare the mind as a shrine to Mr. Momofuku Ando. Now proceed to cook as normal ignoring the directions. By this, I mean to drain the water before adding the spice. It took me years to realize that for reasons unknown to me, the spice is added to the water, not the noodles when you follow the directions. (This is Bachelor Iron Chef, none of those words should imply that I actually follow recipes.)
Sometimes you will be forced to cook ramen with a seasoning packet you do not desire. No matter what, do not throw that seasoning packet away. Those things go great with anything and beat the heck out of bullion.
Suggested toppings: Spicy steak sauce works well. Pizza/spaghetti sauce works good (The Bachelor Iron Chef knows that there is no difference between the two.). Microwave some cheese on top if you got it. (Who cares, use American cheese slices if you need to. Who are you going to impress. You cooking Ramen for heaven's sake!) Frog uses peanut butter, but Frog does things with peanut butter that shouldn't be done by normal man.posted by Ken Boucher 4/1/2000 04:44:38 AM link to this item
New Kitchen!
My beautiful wife and her mom have almost finished laying the new kitchen floor. We're thinking about holding a bachelor chef party to celebrate. If you live near Omaha, Nebraska and want to join in, let me know.Here are the proposed rules.
What you make is up to you. Voting will be done very simply. People who brought entries get two votes. People who just brought something else (like soda) get one vote. Moochers just get free food and drink.
- At noon a decision will be made as to the ingredient of the day. Call outs will happen then.
- You have till 6 pm to prepare your masterpiece and show up.
- You masterpiece must feature the ingredient. i.e., it should be an important part of the food item.
- The ingredient will be a broad category of food. You need to decide what item(s) in that category to use.
>- The possible ingredient categories are:
- Breakfast Cereal (Oatmeal, Chex, Lucky Charms, Corn Flakes, etc...)
- Yogurt (any flavor or style)
- Instant Soup (canned like Campbells or packaged like Lipton, we're not picky)
- Bread or Crackers (from saltines to toast to Ritz to crumbs, we don't care)
- Cheese (Colby, Velveeta, Cheese Whiz, etc...)
- If you prefer or hate a category, let us know in advance. Influence us! We dare you!
- You are only allowed to spend up to $5 in the creation of your dish. When figuring this out just consider the cost for the portion you used. [1/4 of a box of $1.00 saltines is $.25]. We don't care about cheap spices. Don't bother with a receipt. We trust you. If you buy lobster, we'll still eat it, but don't expect us to vote for you.
posted by Ken Boucher 3/24/2000 04:22:32 PM link to this item
Back in the kitchen for 30 seconds.
I am married with a child and I've discovered that Bachelor cooking is needed now, more than ever. If you have not learned the fine art of the peanut butter and banana sandwich (slice the long way), learn it now before it's too late. Learn how to make pizza for cheap: (Toast, leftover spaghetti sauce, cheese (almost any), microwave for a few seconds till cheese melts.) Realize that steak sauce on spaghetti is actually good, because once that child comes along the process of putting him in the car seat, going to the store, finding the sauce, and coming back in 10 minutes will actually seem more difficult than swimming the Amazon.
There are people with brilliance in the kitchen. The rest of us cheat.posted by Ken Boucher 3/15/2000 04:51:09 AM link to this item
Tip of the day, or the hat...
Cheese, like garlic, is just a necessity of bachelor cooking. Unfortunately, unlike garlic, cooking with cheese involves skill. It burns, stinks, refuses to melt, and can quickly ruin any meal if you're busy downloading instead of the watching the stove.
Use Veggie Slices instead. Veggie Slices are a soy cheese that isn't entirely soy. Because of this, they get stuck in the vegetarian aisle and the vegans won't touch it because it contains Casin (skim milk protein). In short this is a product that should be doomed to failure.
There's a few things you should know however. This stuff tastes better than regular cheese and melts at a much lower temp without burning. Put this stuff on broccoli, throw it in the microwave and it's perfect. This stuff melts better than Velveeta and has a lot more flavor. It comes in the following flavors; American, Pepper Jack, Swiss, Mozzarella, Provolone, Cheddar, Mediterranean Bleu Feta, and Parmesan. Picture that: Feta that melts and comes in sliced form.
As a bonus point, it's (semi-)vegetarian, so you're bound to make someone think you're concerned with your health or the world (their choice) a lot more than you really are. Give it a try, it's not like it costs any more than normal cheese.posted by Ken Boucher 3/9/2000 07:30:34 AM link to this item
Chicken and Broccoli Toss
This recipe is so easy, my mother makes it.
One bag of pre-cooked chicken parts from your favorite grocery store
One head of broccoli
One bottle of soy sauce
Rice of your choiceMake the rice according to the directions. Be aware that not all rice is the 5 minute instant rice we all seem to love and hate.
Strip off all the meat from the chicken parts. Throw away the bones. You don't have to strip the skin off, unless you really want to. Cut the broccoli into small florettes.
Heat up the wok or frying pan. Add a little oil. (My preference is Wok oil, but anything can and will do.) Toss in the broccoli. It will turn a beautiful green. It is ready to serve about then, so I add the chicken. This is really only to heat it up. I also sprinkle in a little soy sauce for a little flavor. DO NOT use the whole bottle.
Ladle out the rice on a platter, then put the chicken and broccoli on top. This is ready for service!
posted by Katrina Olson 3/8/2000 10:45:45 AM link to this item
Cali's Grand Stir-fry
Believe it or not, this is one of my favorite things to make, and other than chopping time, this goes really fast.Two kinds of meat (this is the most expensive part, use beef and seafood or chicken and seafood)
Green bell pepper
Yellow bell pepper (if they aren't too expensive)
Carrots
Mushrooms
Onion
Bean Sprouts
1 can of Mandarin Oranges
1 can of Pineapple Slices, wedges, or crushed
Ginger
GarlicCut up everything the way you want to eat it. I like bite sized bits personally. Always start with your longest cooking items, carrots, peppers and onions. Also start with the choice aromatic, garlic or ginger, but not both (they confuse the mouth when they are together) Once the wok or fry pan is hot, throw those in, stirring occasionally so they do not stick to the pan. I always add the chicken or beef about then. I cover the pan a let it be for about 5 minutes. Toss well before adding the mushrooms and bean sprouts. If you have seafood, add it before you add the fruit. (You can add a little juice from the cans to flavor the fish more) Add the fruit last, and only to warm it through. Mandarin oranges will break apart. Pineapple is more sturdy.
My personal preference is to use chicken and Shrimp. You can always tell when shrimp are done when they turn that pretty coral pink color.
posted by Katrina Olson 3/6/2000 07:37:39 AM link to this item
Cali's Tips of the Day, or hour, or whenever...
Here's another good one...
Under no circumstances, do NOT substitute Baking Powder for Baking Soda. They are not Interchangeable.But believe it or not, a good dose of Baking Soda will help those beans for Ham and Bean Soup break down faster. (And it makes the entire pan bubble outrageously!)
posted by Katrina Olson 3/6/2000 07:28:16 AM link to this item
Tip of the Day(sort of)
If you're making cookies, and you find out when it's too late that you're out of vanilla, use almond extract. This is how Michelle Mullin makes her signature cookies, but if you're using the Pyro's test kitchen recipe, use only 1/2 the amount you'd use of vanilla (per Cali!).posted by Amanda Boucher 3/4/2000 07:45:40 PM link to this item
Son of a Bitch Stew
This culinary disaster defines bachelor cooking. Ok. Scratch that. Frog's peanut butter chicken defines bachelor cooking, but S.O.B. stew is still a popular option.
You'll need a large crock pot. It helps to live in a dorm that only allows crock pots and considers everything else a serious fire hazard. I've actually seen it done in a large plug in teapot. (for some reason, this was allowed but the crock pots were not...)
Look at your wallet. If you have a lot of money, buy the cheapest meat known to man. If you're close to broke, buy some potatoes. It doesn't matter what kind.
Pick up some carrots, celery, an onion. It really doesn't matter. The whole idea is to get whatever is cheap and to get some variety. If you're really rich, buy some minced garlic.
Chop up everything into half inch cubes. Toss it in the crock pot. Add water. Turn on to low. Let simmer for a couple days. Stir it and add water if you remember to.
Eventually you'll get hungry. You'll be broke. But you have stew. This is the secret. Stew is cheap! If you're rich, add meat. If you're broke, add potatoes. Every now and then add onions. Scrounge seasonings off of someone who actually knows how to cook and takes pity on your feeble stew. Done right, a stew can cost you $.50 - $1.00 a meal, less if you buy the meat that will be bad tomorrow and is on discount at the store.
Now I realize that true S.O.B. stew can be much worse than this. I've seen the sausage from stale pizza as well as the garlic make it's way into these stew pots. I've seen things that were not meant to be stewed go in. Beans, the seasoning packets from ramen, and meat from K-rations are acceptable. Coffee is not, and I don't care what Dave tells you, it's just wrong.posted by Ken Boucher 3/4/2000 04:29:38 PM link to this item
Fun With Peanut Butter
What we had for dinner.....
Combine in a bowl:
6 tablesp. peanut butter
3 tablesp. brown sugar
3 tablesp. vinegar (more or less, if it looks too thick, use more)
1 teas. ground (powdered) ginger
1-1/2 teas. garlic (powdered)
1/2 teas. cayenne pepper
couple shakes of Tabasco
Stir-fry meat and vegetables (I used steak bits and bagged frozen Oriental mixed veggies), add sauce, heat through. Mmm. Adjust spices per your level of preference of heat.posted by Amanda Boucher 3/3/2000 08:52:17 PM link to this item
Spaghetti Friday!!!
Yes believe it or not, but Fridays were made for spaghetti. They were also made for milkshakes, grilling out, and homemade pizza, but today it's for Spaghetti!
My favorite recipe for spaghetti comes from my dad. We wrote it down one night while we were making it. And it goes something like this...One pound of ground something, usually beef, but can be Italian Sausage, or seasoned pork, or even turkey if you like
A good sized onion, cut however you like
One green pepper, again cut however you want
Garlic, lots of garlic
Mushrooms, your preference and sliced
One can of tomato paste
Two small cans of tomato sauce, not the jared kind, just plain tomato sauce
One can of crushed tomatoes, plain or seasoned
Salt and Pepper
Parsley, oregano, basil and a bay leaf (if you have time to simmer this for more than 1 hour)Brown the ground whatever with the onions and about half the garlic. While this is going, throw everything else except the seasonings into a large sauce pan. Start this pot on low heat until you add the ground whatever. Drain the grease off (Don't put this down the drain) and add it to the sauce. Turn up the heat until it boils, then turn it back down to low to simmer. At this point, start to add the spices until it is to your taste. This can be eaten right away, or simmered until the spaghetti is cooked, or simmered all day (Just watch the level of liquid so that it won't burn on you)
Other things to add if you want...
Tabasco sauce, just a few shakes
Brown Sugar, adds a little sweetness
Beer, adds a little flavor
Chili powder, for flavor
Black or green olives, just be aware that they can spike the salt levelsDon't forget the Parmesan Cheese on top!
posted by Katrina Olson 3/3/2000 06:02:17 AM link to this item
Cali's Almost Useful Tip of the Day, or hour, or whatever..
As an aspiring chef, I find it more useful to know what not to do.
With that in mind, I will find those little strange tidbits of knowledge and failed experiments and share them.Today's Tip: Canned Tuna and tomato sauces do not agree with one another.
I can only assume that this is true with other oily fishes. This was tried in a moment of utter hunger about a year ago with horrible results. Since then, the mere thought of it has sent shivers down my spine.
posted by Katrina Olson 3/2/2000 06:37:53 AM link to this item
Speaking of Chili
For every pound of meat you'll need 1 tbs chili powder, 1 pepper and 1 onion.
Never have two of the same type of onion or pepper if you can help it (yellow, red, etc.) Cut peppers & onions in half. Cube one half. Cook the other half in olive oil.
Toss a dark beer in the crock pot/pan/whatever. Add chili. Add veggies.
Braise meat in leftover olive oil. Toss in with other stuff.
If you have the money, add garlic.
A can of Spicy V8 doesn't hurt.
if you want, mince up little tiny hot peppers and toss them in.
(Let's face it. Once you get the meat, onions, peppers, beer, and chili powder you have a chili. Cayenne pepper, garlic, and everything else is just seasoning.)
Cook forever. The meat should fall apart into little strands when it's done.
A blender really mixes it up nice.
Put in the fridge. Serve it tomorrow.posted by Ken Boucher 3/1/2000 09:14:38 PM link to this item
Kicking it up a... nevermind
If you're working on a stew or a chili, consider adding a small can of Hot & Spicy V8. It's contents are things you normally add anyway, just blended to death, and it really adds something to the liquid. Also, if you're making a Chili, don't start with a water base, use a dark imported beer instead. Mississippi Mud is my current favorite.posted by Ken Boucher 2/29/2000 10:14:12 AM link to this item
Perfect Pork
Ribs or sirloins, it doesn't matter.
Cover pork in Bananas Foster Yogurt. I mean cover it, don't just wipe a little on it.
Put it all in a covered Casserole dish (pyrex is god)
Broil on low while you're watching a movie. Check it after an hour or two.
Pull out the meat and broil on a grill or pan just long enough to brown it (5 minutes a side usually)
The meat will come off the bones (you could cut it with a butter knife)
If she's coming over for dinner, give it a try. You can let it broil in the dish till she gets there, even if she's late, and then have dinner ready in 10 minutes. It tastes great, you look impressive, and she thinks you spent the day cooking and cleaning the kitchen when the truth is you played Quake most of the day.posted by Ken Boucher 2/26/2000 03:54:28 PM link to this item