I was a fool and put all my cash into pork bellies and horse testicles, which as I'm sure you know, were the stocks hardest hit. Now I'm poor. Thanks for nothing, Lou Dobbs!
[posted by gavin on Monday, September 17, 2001 | link this | talk]

Drunkenness, sex and waffle breakfasts
I put a new story up on Rocketpack. It's a partial autobiography.
[posted by gavin on Monday, September 17, 2001 | link this | talk]

cry havoc
Interested to see what newspaper cartoons have to say about the New York incident? These are some of my favourites:

Spanking and World War III
I was waiting at the bus stop this morning with a large group of other people when a TV news crew came our way. I felt a little uncomfortable since I knew what they wanted to talk about, and I don't really want to talk about it on TV, ever.

However, the reporter comes up to us, and instead of bringing up New York, she yells "Who here has an opinion on spanking?"

Slightly surprized, we all shake our heads and the reporter shrugs and wanders off. The guy standing next to me looks at me and says, "World War 3 is about to start, and they want to talk about spanking?"

So how low on the journalistic ladder do you have to be exactly, so that on the day after such a horrible and historical event, you have to cover spanking?

Of course, I do actually have strong opinions on spanking, (or a-spankin', as I call it) but I'm not sure if this is the time to open a nationwide dialog on the subject.
[posted by gavin on Thursday, September 13, 2001 | link this | talk]

fuckt up beyond all recognition

you know what I'm talking about.

today has been creepy and sad.

i hope you're safe, where ever you are.

it's surreal to think there's no more world trade towers. they're even part of the pixilated logo. i’m not sure what to do with them.

Sign or check NY survivor lists, donate to relief funds, and express yourself here
[posted by gavin on Tuesday, September 11, 2001 | link this | talk]

Penis Puppetry
I'm taking a couple of acting classes at school this semester, so you can imagine my excitement to hear that Puppetry of the Penis will be holding auditions for a new band of penis puppeteers. I don't exactly know what that is.. but damit, I want "penis puppeteer" on my business cards.
Random Quote: The auditions are open to both circumcised and uncircumcised genital origami hopefuls
[posted by gavin on Wednesday, September 05, 2001 | link this | talk]

TV
On September the 7th, Canada's getting those new cable channels we're always hearing about. Finally, a reason to never leave the house again, ever!
[posted by gavin on Sunday, September 02, 2001 | link this | talk]

Hmm
Wait a second.. I'm not so sure I like dirty rumors when they're about me.
[posted by gavin on Thursday, August 30, 2001 | link this | talk]

What I really want to do is act
The next Star Trek movie might be filmed in Vulcan, Alberta, which is kinda close to where I live. Ok, perhaps it's not quite walking distance, but it's certainly close enough to drive there in the morning and get thrown off the set in the afternoon.
[posted by gavin on Tuesday, August 28, 2001 | link this | talk]

Dirty rumors
Ok, I just set up a message board thing. Try it out: talk, gossip, spread dirty rumors, write a pretty poem for your sweetie.. whatever you want. You can find this message board by following the 'talk' link at the bottom of each post.
[posted by gavin on Saturday, August 25, 2001 | link this | talk]

To the moon, Alice, to the moon
This photo of Jupiter's moon Io is amazing. Imagine how big Jupiter must be.. </awestruck>
[posted by gavin on Friday, August 24, 2001 | link this | talk]

Thousands of minks escape, now pissed off

Grrrr

Stevy Steve and the funky bunch
Stephen Hawking is well know for his advanced scientific theories and his emotional yet haunting karaoke. Or something. Listen to his cover of Air Supply's "All out of Love," and fall back in love, with Hawking, today.
[posted by gavin on Wednesday, August 22, 2001 | link this | talk]

Ambitious plan to combat alien bad breath
Smints Mints want to use the roof of the defunct Millennium Dome in London to create the first advertisement that can be seen from outer space. Apparently astronauts are a prime demographic to the mint candy industry.
[posted by gavin on Monday, August 20, 2001 | link this | talk]

weeeeeeee

Well. I guess I'm starting to freak out.

New caption contest
There's a new caption contest up, and this one has a very odd photo. The old caption contests are archived here in case you wanna see your own or other peoples old stuff. I've also changed the name of it from "Caption contest" to "Evil caption contest", in order to better reflect the evil nature of it all.
[posted by gavin on Saturday, August 18, 2001 | link this | talk]

You are bad
Are you a pretty female graphic designer? Do you identify with them? Then chances are you pirate software, according to this BSA public service animation. Follow the journey of Meg A. Byte, an everyday cute graphic designer gone bad as she is sucked into her computer as a result of pirated software and forced to play 1980 Atari games in order to retrieve her stolen portfolio. Luckily, she decides to license her ill-gotton warez, which gives her the power she needs to retrieve her portfolio, and blow up the big UFO at the end for some reason.

Does this herald the return of 1950s style public service announcements, where the protagonist (usually named Billy or Meg) faces an unrealistic dilemma due to anti-corporate moral standards, and the only escape is to reaffirm those questionable morals resulting in extravagant yet unlikely rewards? Does it?

We can only hope.
[posted by gavin on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 | link this | talk]

Plastic lovin'
Courts rule Barbie now legally free to pose nude in sexually explicit photos
All right! I think we all can guess what I'll be doing tonight.
[posted by gavin on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 | link this | talk]

Simpsons News
This article has a bit of news about the next season of The Simpsons. There's going to be parodies of "Erin Brockovich," "2001: A Space Odyssey", and the "Harry Potter" film. (They've already done a "2001" parody, but this one's a halloween special). There'll also be a bunch of new celebrity guest voices, but who cares, it's all about the writing. Bring on the funny, I say.

Also, Futurama won an Emmy. Hot dawg!
[posted by gavin on Tuesday, August 14, 2001 | link this | talk]

These boots were made for insufferable pain, plus walking
I bought a new pair of shoes yesterday. They look exceedingly funky, with blue leather, orange laces, and brown soles. The down side is that walking now involves feeling like a pair of dogs have bitten and are semi-digesting my feet.

A large part of the problem is that I rarely buy new shoes; I wear one pair at a time until they’ve become leathery rags around my ankles. As a result I’ve decided, starting tomorrow, my new mode of transport will involve sitting in a shopping cart and pushing myself along with a big stick, gondola style.
[posted by gavin on Tuesday, August 14, 2001 | link this | talk]

copyright © 2001 rocketpack.org