...trips
...pixellaneous
about
Friday, September 14, 2001
An urge to lift weights just overcame me... this is not a common thing. I think perhaps a part of me would feel strong if I did that-- the feeling of my muscles straining and burning would at least be a step in the direction of strength, though the rest of me feels so weak. It's hard to watch the same images over and over on tv, knowing that I can't do anything to make anyone feel better or to help the situation. I have donated money... but that seems so small.
I have a sort of nervous energy that I can't attribute to anything but the events of the past few days... my thoughts aren't consumed by it, and I am not horribly depressed, terrified, or frantic, as many people seem. I suppose I am just waiting... waiting to see what comes next, waiting to understand, waiting for the end of the story. I am not good at waiting.
There are reports of reservists being called into active duty. Some say this is in preparation for war, while others say these people are only being called to staff air bases so they can be ready for instantaneous response, if needed.
50,00035,000 reservists seems like an awfully high number to simply staff an estimated 250 air bases, but then I'm no military expert. Conversely,50,00035,000 doesn't seem enough of an addition to the already-active military to really make any difference at all in combat. Again, I'm no expert.Well, obviously, since I am still sitting here at the computer, I have done nothing about this weight-lifting-urge. I can't go changing routine, now, can I? I should get up and do *something*... maybe when Max wakes up we'll go for a walk.
Posted by ebee @ 11:42 AM CST [Link] [2 comments]
Thursday, September 13, 2001
Max had his 2-month checkup today; he weighs 14.5 pounds and is 25.5 inches long. My boy is getting so big! He's in the 95th percentile for his height, and the 90th percentile for his weight. This is one tiny spot of brightness for me in an otherwise dark week.
I am still pretty numb... sad, mostly. For some reason, it doesn't make me angry. Maybe it should. I am afraid -- not that it will happen again, or that similar things will erupt any moment, but for the upheaval this will cause in our already-unstable economy. I am afraid for the changes it will make in our 'American' lifestyle... afraid because Max is going to grow up in a different world than I did. I want to make sure he knows the evils of prejudice, and that there are bad people in every size, shape, color, and religion.
One of Josh's co-workers had his car fire-bombed outside his apartment in Arlington, TX last night. He's South American. *That* makes me angry. It is pointless...nothing has been accomplished; it is an act of intolerance and ignorance. Such a stupid act... all based on the color of this poor guy's skin. [more]
Posted by ebee @ 03:25 PM CST [Link] [2 comments]
Tuesday, September 11, 2001
This picture really gets me. (from MSNBC.com) I've seen the footage of the World Trade Center and Pentagon all day now, and while it's horrific, they are just buildings. Seeing pictures of the *people* involved just makes my heart feel very heavy. It's sickening, and terrifying.I am glad that Max is not old enough to realize what is happening, because I don't know how I'd explain it to him. I don't understand what is to be gained by these horrible acts, and I fear the retaliation. No one wins in this... no one.
Posted by ebee @ 05:52 PM CST [Link] [1 Comment]
Sunday, September 9, 2001
I'm back! Finally... I had a client's script bouncing to my site temporarily, and didn't want to make them look unprofessional in the rare case that someone decided to notice my URL. The script has been moved now, so I am free to realize that I've forgotten everything I was going to remember to post.
If Max were a snail, he'd have already gone through a few shells by now. This kid is growing SO fast! Every day it seems that he's more aware-- he's full of smiles and is babbling and laughing. We put planets and stars on the wall beside Max's changing table today, and I think it was possibly the most exciting thing that has happened to him in all of his nine weeks. He laughed, wiggled, grinned, drooled, kicked, gurgled, and cooed in delight not only once, but every time we've changed him since putting them up. He is particularly fond of Mars and Jupiter, it seems.
Caffiene is amazing stuff. I just happen to be one of the lucky people who are highly caffiene-sensitive: I drank two cups of coffee Wednesday night, and it kept me going for around 20 hours. 'Awake' does not even describe the state I was in... I was buzzing with more energy than I've had in close to a year. I got SO much done. Coffee is my friend.
This site needs a redesign. I didn't much like it from the beginning, and now I'm borderlining on hate. I just redid OmniTech.net, and am now working on loopysoft.com for Crackmonkey. After that will come The Boise City News, and then I'm going to set Greymatter up for Applesauce. Perhaps somewhere in there I'll be struck with a fabulous idea for pixellaneous, and will stay up ridiculously late in a fit of creative inspiration.
Time for LINKS... Wil Wheaton (Stand By Me, Star Trek...? I had a huge crush on him when I was young) has a great weblog that he built and maintains himself. It just goes to show that I had great taste even as a kid.
Hunkabutta is a site I came across through the Moms Online mommy board I'm a member of... be sure to check out the gallery for pics of baby Jack. Such a cutie...
This has got to be one of the best sites that I've stumbled across in my random web-wanderings: The Whole Brain Atlas is chock-full of brainy goodness. I've never seen so many pictures of brains... and it's weird to compare the healthy brains with the less-than healthy ones. Eeek.
There are so many more... but I'll just add them to my links section.
Lobster and Emily are in Rio right now! They've been there for a week... I think they return tomorrow. I can't wait to see the pics. Speaking of pics, the four of us were in Thailand at this time last year, and I still haven't scanned the pictures. I'll get to it someday... maybe...
Gotta get some sleep. Max is going to want fed within the next hour... most likely at the very moment when I fall asleep. ;)
Posted by ebee @ 06:02 AM CST [Link] [3 comments]
Sunday, August 19, 2001
Last week was very stressful. Trying to balance Max and the freelance thing was tough. He sleeps for long stretches at night, so I ended up doing a couple of all-nighters: it was easier that way, believe it or not. Fortunately, I do quite well on little sleep. Perhaps he's just not old enough yet; he still requires a lot of attention and maintenance. Or maybe it will always be this way... it's hard to say since I'm inexperienced with such matters.
Rachel visited yesterday; she seemed like her old self again, and that gives me hope that she will return from the depths of wherever she's been for the past year. For a long while there, I didn't think things would ever be the same, that she'd be distant and detached forever. I hope life is on the upswing for her... there's still a lot she has to conquer and deal with, but hopefully the worst is over for now. We had a good time, and it reminded me that she is still one of my best friends, despite the chaos that has clung to her in recent months. I wish we could spend more time together. I wish I'd hugged her more while she was here.
I'm in a pensive mood this evening... nothing is wrong, in particular. I just feel heavy. It's hard staying home and not 'contributing.' I know that taking care of Max is important, and really IS contributing, but not in a financial way. I don't like not bringing in a paycheck. I don't like not knowing what will happen in four or five months when money starts getting tight. I don't like feeling even remotely dependent. I have to figure out a way to balance Max-care with freelance work, and make adequate money doing that. I really only need to make like $20k/year, if that, for us to get by. Seems easy as pie. I've got to get that portfolio site up and running. That's where the focus lies for the next couple of weeks. I need inspiration, devine design blessings from the cosmos, and lots of motivation. And focus. Crackmonkey Matt is right. I have weird focus and stress issues. He nailed it. It's great to have friends who can point things out to me that I somehow can't pin down when looking at myself. I dunno why it helps to label it... but somehow, it does.
Applesauce Matt heads off to college this coming Friday. That seems so... weird. Seems like just a couple of years ago that I left for college. Nothing will ever be the same for him. It will all be so much better than anything before... he's stellar, really. He's special. He is Going Places, moreso than anyone else I know.
Posted by ebee @ 08:10 PM CST [Link] [Comments?]
Thursday, August 16, 2001
Max gave us his first reactionary smile this morning... Josh tickled his cheek, and Max got sooo excited and a huge grin lit up his face. =)
Posted by ebee @ 08:41 AM CST [Link] [Comments?]
Tuesday, August 14, 2001
The big bad lightning ate my computer this weekend. : \ We lost power for over an hour on Saturday, and then had several brown-outs on top of that. Ended up having to reload Windows and some other software... no fun, especially when I'm trying to WORK!
Poor baby Max cried and cried last night... nothing could console him. He was up from 8pm until around 3am this morning, so he's sleeping like a rock today. He seems fine now-- I'm so glad. I hate not knowing how to make him feel better. I was up allll night working on the freelance stuff since he took so much time yesterday. Once I really get going, I hate to stop... somehow it goes more smoothly when done in big chunks. I should sleep, but figure that I'll sleep better if I don't nap-- seems like napping just knocks my sleep patterns even further out of orbit.
Max will be 6 weeks old this weekend... hard to believe. Speaking of hard to believe, I talked to Laura today! We haven't talked in soooo long... like since May. I have been thinking about her a lot, and felt like I needed to call her-- I just happened to catch her. She sounds good. :) I hope we can meet up at some point so she can see the baby...
And... I have work to do still...the major portion of it is done, though I expect there will be some revisions.
Posted by ebee @ 03:49 PM CST [Link] [Comments?]
Friday, August 10, 2001
I'm working on my first post-layoff freelance job. :) Money is a good thing to have.
Max was fussssssy earlier in the week, but he's doing so much better now. I thought I was going to go insane-- he was wanting to eat every hour to hour-and-a-half, and that was wearing me out. He slept for 8 hours straight last night! It felt wonderful to sleep...
His little thighs are getting nice and chubby...he's such a doll.
We have ants. Bah. Tiny little black ones-- I think they're sugar ants. I found lots of tips online for getting rid of them, so hopefully something will work. I'll call an exterminator if necessary, but I'd rather not spend the money and don't want those chemicals anywhere near my baby.
Josh is unhappy with his job. It's secure, though, and that means a lot right now. I just don't like seeing him so stressed out and depressed. He grew weary of it looong ago. : \ There's nothing I can do to help, and I hate feeling that way. What sucks is that he's really good at what he does... I've heard him on the phone-- he's good with his customers, and of course is just plain intelligent. I wish he could just go do something he enjoys... if only the money didn't matter. Sigh.
Posted by ebee @ 11:56 AM CST [Link] [1 Comment]
Thursday, August 2, 2001
Pics from Max's road trip to Kansas and Oklahoma here (with permalink to left).
Posted by ebee @ 05:03 PM CST [Link] [Comments?]
...............................................................Max, basking in his own cuteness.
Home again after a long trip-- it's definitely harder with an infant! It wasn't too bad, though-- just a bit slower than usual. It's good to be home (even if it is hotter here).
Max developed a rash on his face last week, but it looks sooo much better now. It looked red, painful and itchy, and I felt so bad since he couldn't scratch it or even tell us if it hurt. : \ He's been cranky and a little bit fussy lately, but I think he's just gassy and doesn't quite understand why it hurts. I read that chocolate can cause gas in breastfed babies, so I'm going to cut chocolate completely out of my diet and see if that helps him. No ice cream, no chocolate... can I keep this up for a year??? I'm going to try....
[more]
Posted by ebee @ 01:39 PM CST [Link] [1 Comment]
Friday, July 27, 2001
I'm updating from my daddy's office in Oklahoma-- we're going up to Kansas tomorrow for the photo with Max's great-great-grandpa. Max handled the LONG road trip (9+ hours) quite well; he only fussed a couple of times. There was an incident, however, which involved stinky substance from Max's bottom-- let's just say he's got excellent range, and it's a darn good thing that we put towels down while changing him. Yikes.
Anyway, stuff, yeah. More later.
Posted by ebee @ 03:50 PM CST [Link] [Comments?]
Tuesday, July 24, 2001
The mailman delivered a flyer to me today from my local Saturn dealership. This was a very special flyer, prompting me to trade my Saturn in on a new one, or to consider purchasing one of their "previously enjoyed" vehicles. Huh? Is this previously enjoyed like food or gum is previously enjoyed? Or is this like a movie that was enjoyed the first go round, but was boring during the second viewing, and is no longer enjoyed?
Posted by ebee @ 11:25 PM CST [Link] [Comments?]
...............................................................The doctor told us something astounding today: Max is going to most likely be tall and thin. Hmm..imagine that! He has grown an inch (he's now 23 inches) in the past 2 weeks, and now weighs 9lbs, 9oz (up from 8lbs, 9oz at birth). The doc says everything looks good, and that he seems to be very healthy.
Last night, Max slept from 1:30 until 7:30 this morning. WOOHOO! I think that's the longest stretch of sleep I've had since he was born. :)
I had excellent news today from the ex-workplace: they are going to give me full pay for the duration of my FMLA leave period! That's 11 weeks, plus the two weeks they owe me anyway, another week of severance, and 33 hours of vacation. If we play our cards right, I can stretch that out for six months... and if I take a couple of freelance gigs during that time, it can be stretched even further. That means we can keep Max out of daycare until he's older-- that's a very very very good thing. I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can breathe now...
It looks as though we'll be taking Max on his first road trip later this week... my great-grandfather lives up in Liberal, KS-- he's going to be 96 in November. We're hoping to get a five-generation picture in, assuming we can get everyone in the same place at the same time. If not, I'll be happy with a picture of Max with his great-great-grandpa: I think it will be something that will mean a lot to him once he's old enough to appreciate it.
Posted by ebee @ 07:52 PM CST [Link] [1 Comment]
Sunday, July 22, 2001
Max again... I've decided to start posting pics in pop-up windows so that my page will load faster. My poor Mommy is on a dial-up. ACK.
So tired... need to go to bed. We had a full day today... Dee and Jason brought lunch over-- so wonderful of them! They're expecting twins in September (and I think Max is a full-time job!). Rachel drove down for a visit and got to help bathe Max... he really seems to enjoy bathtime. I suppose the water must feel pretty familiar to him.
Applesaucy.net has a spiffy new flash intro and layout-- I need to absorb some of those creative vibes right about now. I've been doing some sketching and such, but inspiration hasn't struck me yet. It will eventually... I need to relax. Seems easy enough, but I'm working very hard at supressing how stressed out I really am. Things will get better in time.
Sleeeeeeep..................
Posted by ebee @ 11:38 PM CST [Link] [Comments?]
Friday, July 20, 2001
New baby pics gallery here (with a permalink to the left, as well).
Posted by ebee @ 01:03 PM CST [Link] [1 Comment]
...............................................................It has been confirmed. I'm jobless. I need to find some creativity and build a beautiful portfolio site (and I need to do it very quickly).
Posted by ebee @ 11:39 AM CST [Link] [Comments?]
Thursday, July 19, 2001
I'm about 98% sure that I just got laid off. My company fired 80 people company-wide today, 11 people from the Ft. Worth office. The two other designers got the axe, so I'm pretty sure I did too and that they just haven't called me yet. I'll be miffed if they tell me via letter... if I don't get a phone call by tomorrow afternoon then I'm going to call the project director to see if I can get any information.
This just really sucks. Not only do I have a less-than-two-week-old baby, but the job market is not exactly user-friendly right now. So many of my friends have had their lives turned upside down in recent months because of layoffs... when does it all end? I was going to start looking elsewhere for part-time work anyway, but this adds a sense of urgency to things.
Josh and I have to re-evaluate finances. We're fine for now; we have savings. However, daycare expenses loom on the horizon, and it will most likely take several weeks for me to find a job. I've got to get my resume updated and get a portfolio website put together. No pressure. Heh.
Baby Max is doing well-- he's been lifting his head since day one, but now is able to hold it up for longer periods of time. He only woke up twice last night, and had some good awake time today. I need to get that web gallery posted; we have some great pictures.
This job thing is just depressing. Really, really depressing. I know things will work out-- they always do-- but it's hard not to be a little bit scared in the meantime.
"And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should." --Max Ehrmann
Posted by ebee @ 10:56 PM CST [Link] [2 comments]
...............................................................Posted by ebee @ 02:09 AM CST [Link] [Comments?]
...............................................................
Max is a sleepy boy... just like his daddy.
Linkylove
Search entries:
[Archives]