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Monday, September 17, 2001  
Bush's quote of the week: I'm beginning to like this guy more and more each day.
The mood this past weekend has been rather mixed. On one hand, everyone seems to have been brought closer and more united by this past week's events. On the other, there has also been a bit of tenseness and uneasiness in the air. Long talks...sharing feelings and opinions and emotions with one and another. One of my best friends lives in the D.C. area, another friend in NYC...both of whom are thankfully okay. Another of my good friends works as a flight attendant for Continental...thank God she was diverted to Ft. Lauderdale and is now back at home safe. We all sat together sharing coffee on Friday evening because noone really felt like going out anywhere. As we sat there attentively listening to her talk about how she and other coworkers had learned and dealt (are dealing) with the terrorist attacks, she told us how many of them didn't find out what was going on until after their flights had been diverted to other airports. Many are thinking about quitting their jobs. Many are afraid of losing their jobs. And I myself am still learning that even though I haven't been directly affected by Tuesday's attacks, I really have been in one way or another. Hell, I have been affected by this in a lot of ways...we all have. Saturday evening was a vain attempt at trying to get everything in the back of our minds for one night. It was thwarted however by a band whose set revolved around a patriotic war theme. News clips recorded and blaring through the speakers, fatigues, songs with titles like "Prisoner of War"...you get the idea. And even though they had good intentions and I really don't blame them...it was pretty much in bad taste. We left pretty much after they started. So did a lot of other people. It seems like they all felt the same way that we did. All we wanted was one night to feel okay again...sane. But this is very, very far from being over. And quite frankly I don't think it ever will be.
In the wake of all of the violence that has surrounded us and the events that are still left to unfold, I’m left only with a sickening feeling in my stomach and a great sorrow in my heart. It is almost unbearable to imagine how this has not only affected the victims and families, but the entire nation and those around the world as well. I myself don’t feel much like talking about anything right now. There have been, and continue to be many other people out there with touching stories and recaps of these events, offering their condolences and support. Even within the web community the mood has been a somber one, but the support is there as well. Many have offered links to articles and relief operations. A few have even temporarily replaced their sites with “black pages”. Here are just a few sites where you can learn more and even help. I’m sorry that I couldn’t list them all, this is just a place to start. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone. On my way to work this morning I was flipping through the radio stations for news coverage and heard “Imagine” by John Lennon. I did the best I could to fight the tears…
So. As I'm sitting here trying to coax my usually abnormal thought processes into producing something of a much needed update to my site, I get an instant message from my ex-girlfriend that she is "getting hitched" (her exact words). While I don't exactly feel like going into greater detail on the subject, I can say that I'm pretty much stuck in the middle of feeling sad to feeling absolutely nothing at all. What do you expect really? It has been a while since we have even talked, but regardless, it was a brief and dreadfully anticipated "how do you do" that pretty much put an end to the question of: "So who's it going to be first?" Oh well, I believe a phone call would have been more in order here (if nothing else). But I will say that I am honestly very happy for her and wish her the best of luck. Damnit. As if my thoughts weren't overcrowded enough right now. And sitting here for a few moments afterwards trying to figure out just where I had left off, I've realized that I've been building up a sort of overbearing request upon myself to remember everything I've wanted to write about...all the events and happenings and hazy recollections of the past few months or so (not that there's any direct corrolation to the above. There is but there isn't. Bear with me, I'm not even sure if I understand what I'm talking about right now). So much caught up in the past and too much time spent on "should be's". I've been constantly telling myself that I need to work on my site, I need to blog, I need to do this, I need to do that, trying to figure out the point where I stopped making regular posts, blah, blah, blah. Big talker, eh? Well everything as of late has been nothing but half-assed apology for lack of updates, and quite frankly I'm a bit embarrassed. I mean, how much of this shit do you really need to keep hearing about anyway? And why have I been consumed with the need for explanations in the first place? Please note that this has apparently turned out to be nothing but another long-winded apology within itself anyway. And rather unintentionally might I add. Boy, listen to me ramble on. It's a little late and I've had waaaay to many cups of coffee already. 500 words or less has never been my forte. With all that being said (and hopefully you just scrolled down to this point anyway), my answer is simple: "The only thing that really matters is NOW". I'm really not going to try and bother drudging up all that other crap anyway. There are however a few amusing bullet points regarding strange or amusing things that have happened recently. I truly couldn't pass these up in good conscience: Phew. I think that's enough for me right now, friends. I've got a date with my pillow. Good night.
My weeknight schedule as of late has consisted of a lot of movie viewing. Tonight I made a trip to Best Buy and ended up purchasing The Man With Two Brains on DVD for only $9.99...completely on a whim might I add even though I've never seen it. And although I'm a pretty big fan of Steve Martin, I've decided that I like the narrative style of some of his other movies better (i.e. L.A. Story). But it was a pretty funny movie and I needed a really good laugh anyway ("I can't fuck a gorilla!"). Ha! Oh, and I've had fish in my tank for almost two weeks now and it's a miracle they aren't dead yet. Three large silver-faced angels, one small black angel, two bala sharks, three american flag fish and a clown loach. Miller, of course, has followed suit and even posted some pictures of his new friends on his site. So in the meantime I'll just let your imagination run wild until I post some pics of my own. Patience, Grasshopper. I'm getting there.
The customary bitch and moan note: This week has marked the beginning of my working out of our Cleveland office full time. It's really not that different besides the fact that I have to wake up almost three hours earlier now for the hour and a half commute there (which, as you can imagine, kinda sucks). Hopefully the agency will decide on a central location for all three of our offices soon (due to a recent merger), and I can start thinking about moving closer. Overall I really like my new digs...look for some pics coming soon. And, since they have been updating more often than I have lately, you can check out what Miller and J have to offer. There have been a lot of things I have been wanting to add and update here lately. Of course by the time I get home I've been too tired to gather up any motivation to do any personal work. Patience my Dear Reader...I'm really trying. So. With that being said...feel free to take a foot to my ass anytime.
Wow. What the heck happened to me? I used to post here on a regular basis but apparently I've been slipping a little bit. I've got a lot to tell though. I just need to find the time (and mostly motivation) to do so. Just bear with me, 'k? We all go through our little phases. So. In the meantime...how the hell have you been?
I Only three more hours to go and I have five total days of doing absolutely nothing. Ummm...kinda like I'm doing now. Nothing.
Photographica.org is a great community photoblog where members can upload, discuss and review their own personal photos. Hey, finally something has given me a reason to blow the dust off the old Coolpix 950. And I just made my first post too...woohoo! Go check it out now, I'm too tired to write about anything else. 'Nite! |
Listening: "..."
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