violation type: chinese food delivery bicycle infraction
degree: pre-mediated, vicious
description: while walking towards my apartment on court street, a chines food delivery bicycle flew by me and nearly knocked another pedestrian off balance. being off balance already, i did not appreciate this dis to my physical, emotional and energetic state. i stormed over to the chinese place and told them of my displeasure.
resigned: next time, he's going over the handlebars and handing over all his tips.
posted by ebitch 10:46:32 PM

Wednesday, March 07, 2001

violation type: Bad singer/songwriter
time: March 1, 2001, approximately 9:00 pm
location: Mercury Lounge, New York City
description: While patiently waiting for Richard Buckner to perform his classic alt-country, I endured approximately 45 minutes of unbearably self-involved girl-with-guitar nonsense from New Jersey's own Dayna Kurtz. A sampling of her worst lyric follows: "Split like a melon that's been dropped from a very, very, very high place."
posted by tricky 1:20:02 PM

Thursday, March 01, 2001

starbucks web log violation
time: 1:25pm est
location: starbucks web log, or _blog_.
perp: tricky, co-founder of servemyass.com
nature of infraction: perpetrator's last contribution to violations web log was 2/16/01. as she is prone to a certain degree of repeated admonitions to blog daily, this violation is especially heinous.
penalty: perpetrator is hereby sentenced to blog daily and refrain from reminding _others_ to blog, for a very long time.
posted by ebitch 1:19:46 PM

Monday, February 12, 2001

violation type: Lack of Updates
time: January 2001
description: layoff depression. Tricky and ebitch both suffer untimely layoffs and their promising dot-com hits the skids.
verdict: after a month of psychological truama and social recovery, Tricky and ebitch promise to resume their violations reports in the context of job interviews, dealings with unemployment insurance, and caffeine withdrawal.
posted by tricky 1:07:51 AM

Thursday, December 28, 2000

violation type: funding nightmare
time: 12:00 pm - 4:00 pm
description: layoffs, staff cut by 50%
verdict: unbelievable sadness. In honor of our friends, I hereby declare this day, Thursday, December 28, 2000, Black Thursday.
posted by tricky 2:11:14 PM

Friday, December 22, 2000

violation type: fashion
perpetrator: tricky
description: perpetrator sports linen on snowy december morning. this violates known and universally accepted fashion customs which prohibit the wearing of linen after labor day.
penalty: apology notes, written on tiffany stationery, to be sent to all offended parties. if you have been impacted by this careless fashion violation, please forward a written incident report (wir) to ebitch.
posted by ebitch 3:11:51 PM

Thursday, December 21, 2000

type of violation: professional hubris

details: A letter I composed and sent to Marie Claire, a women's fashion magazine:

Marie Claire Magazine

12.19.2000

Dear Marie Claire:

This morning I read a story on MSNBC about a 28-year old woman who bid $3,575 for an internship at your magazine on eBay. The article stated that the proceeds from the auction would be donated to charity. I wonder if you would be kind enough to name the charity which will benefit from Ms Sanders winning bid.

In addition, can you please explain why you chose to auction off an internship instead of seeking a qualified candidate through more traditional channels? I am appalled that you would ask an intern to pay for the privilege of performing grunt work for your salaried, full-time staff.

Kindly respond at your earliest convenience.

Thank you.

Yours Sincerely,

Tricky
posted by tricky 4:14:29 PM