Forty-two (blog)

Saturday, September 15, 2001

I think it is very important that as many people as possible read this clear-headed and insightful analysis of the situation in Afghanistan by an Afghani writer who has been living in the US for many years. A quote: “We're flirting with a world war between Islam and the West. And guess what: that's Bin Laden's program. That's exactly what he wants.” Via Backup Brain.

And speaking of Backup Brain, I can’t resist quoting Dori Smith from the same post: “Someone on a mail list I'm on said today that, from his perspective, the best outcome for this whole tragedy would come from dropping several million Real Goods catalogs on Afghanistan, each with a gift certificate attached. Think about it: it's a whole lot cheaper, a whole lot more targeted, and a whole lot more likely to bring about a positive result.”

Of course it’s not that simple. But we’re going to have to be at least that creative to get through this situation.

Asserted by Pat at 12:42 PM CST
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Friday, September 14, 2001

I am ambivalent about flying the American flag, though I certainly don’t have a problem with those who do fly it now. Part of it has to do with my age: I was in college during the last part of the Viet Nam war (fortunately my draft number was 321, and they only took to the low 100s that year). I can’t help associating flag-waving with “Love It Or Leave It” knee-jerk conservatism. I don’t expect others to feel that way, of course, but it’s my personal knee-jerk reaction.

More to the point, I tend to feel that emphasizing that one is American by waving the flag misses the point. What happened Tuesday was far more than an assault on America. It was an assault on our civilization, whether we live in North America, Europe, Japan, or simply aspire to the kind of life most in these countries enjoy. To me, waving the American flag ignores the stake these other peoples have in our common struggle. Still, I understand the need for a symbol—I just wish we could find one without so much baggage attached to it.

I keep hearing people compare this attack to Pearl Harbor, and that misses the point in many ways as well. Pearl Harbor was the result of economic competition between the US and Japan. In a sense, both countries were playing the same game, going after the same prize, with the only question being who would be in the driver’s seat when the dust settled. That is not the case here.

I almost said what happened was an attack against humanity, but incredibly it was humans who did this. Trying to comprehend that there are people who could show such utter contempt for the lives of others as well as their own is part of what has cut me (and probably most of us) deeper than anything I’ve ever known. To me, life is a privilege and an opportunity. We are each of us here to work out as best we can what exactly that entails—the joys, the duties, the fears to be conquered, and more. To be in this position, to be able to choose, is an awesome responsibilty; I’ve often wondered if the vast peaceful feeling reported by those in near-death experiences isn’t mostly relief.

I haven’t managed to accumulate much wisdom in my time here, but one of the few things I’ve learned to be very cautious of is a sense of certainty. When I’m convinced I have the answer, the answer, I have found I am almost certainly wrong.

The people who planned and carried out these monstrous acts had and continue to have an overwhelming sense of certainty. They are convinced life can be reduced to one simple question of faith, and those with the wrong answer should die—it hardly matters, because in a sense they are already dead. The most chilling joke I have ever heard is “Kill them all, let God sort them out.” It is heartbreaking to realize there are people who not only believe this principle but act on it.

I just think we need to be very careful in the days ahead, and watch our own sense of certainty. America is beautiful, and has much to be proud of; we also have a lot to answer for. To me, the flag stands for both. I would like to see it as a question, and I worry about the people who see it as an answer. And I fear, more than anything, the people who see it as the answer. They have the power to turn us into what we thought we were fighting against.

Asserted by Pat at 4:26 PM CST
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Wednesday, September 12, 2001

Unity.

Photo by Made By Nick.

Asserted by Pat at 1:14 PM CST
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Sunday, September 9, 2001

I have new glasses. Elise describes them as a combination of geek and Studio 54 drug dealer. I think they make me look like a bad guy in a Sean Connery-era James Bond movie. Hence the camshot.

I also have a new vehicle, a 1990 Ford Bronco. Unfortunately, halfway through the 125-mile trip from where we bought it, the engine suddenly lost power and the gas mileage went to hell. I was barely doing 40 on some of the uphill stretches, but we eventually made it home. I take it into a shop tomorrow morning to see what happened, and then I will have a talk with the dealership where I bought it.

It looks like one of my big projects will finish up by October 1st, while the other looks like it may be far larger than I ever imagined. At least the insane design phase appears to be over on both of them.

The final new wrinkle is that Elise and I are moving in October. This is a good thing, but having lived in this house 13 years there is an awful lot of stuff to clean up, throw out, sell, or organize. And not much time to do it, with my work schedule.

Diving in again....

Asserted by Pat at11:59 PM CST
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Tuesday, September 4, 2001

There were two searches on my site last week, one for “alien” and one for “odd.”

I’d say they came to the right place.

I’ve had a birthday and wrecked my truck since the last update. I’m fine, just older. Unfortunately, details on these and other stories will have to wait until after my next deadline, which is Thursday morning.

Asserted by Pat at 7:37 PM CST
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Saturday, September 1, 2001

An update: my ISP upgraded to a new machine last week, and unfortunately Greymatter will not run on it. It’s not clear why, but every time I try to update not only does it not work but I bring the entire server to a halt for over three minutes.

I’ve been so overloaded with work the last month I’ve barely had time to breathe, and I don’t think that is going to change before October at the earliest, so it’s not like I will be blogging as much as I’d like anyway. I will when I can, and when I get enough brain cells free to snap a cam shot (or can twist an image from something I’m working on) I will do so. I do want to say that Jacqueline Hamilton of CGI101.com is an absolute champ and I recommend her without reservation. Yes, there are cheaper hosts around, but the service is above and beyond the call of duty. Perhaps I’ll have more to say about that later.

In the meantime, I’m not going away, I’ll just be less visible for a little while.