Chilling on the Aquasofa...
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| ( supahfly ) | |
| 9.7.2001 | |
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9/7/2001 05:40:36 PM |
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| Still dealing with re/decompression to write much. Acid test passed by leaps and bounds. We both learned a lot. There's some very important stuff going on out there in the desert. Soundtrack: Amon Tobin - Breezeblock. |
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| 8.25.2001 | |
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8/25/2001 08:12:30 PM |
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| "I love you all. Come and play with us in Black Rock City. Be responsible.
We'll all do fine if we each take on our individual share of responsibility
towards our collective survival. One stupid move can ruin it for others. Be
yourself, it's the best place to find who that is. Then, go one step
further. You're returning to the BEST family reunion on this earth. We'll
leave the light on for you." - Bman Update v5#30 - 8.24.01
I've joined a cult. Soundtrack: Bartholomaeus N Raabenstein - Guten Abend Guten Morgen [great stuff] |
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| 8.24.2001 | |
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8/24/2001 01:54:14 PM |
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| Alex came back. Realization ovre many beers: he learned a lot. I'm once again inspired for travel - but this time, I want to do it on my own. Departing for the burn in a couple days. Chariot all fixed up and ready to go. Groceries and supplies mostly in effect. Less chemicals. More people. Must attend to Carl and not leave him hanging - worried about how he's going to interact with that environment... it's either gonna open him wide up, or make him withdraw and get angry - I really hope the former. If not, it's gonna get ugly... in the back of my mind, this is actually some sorta relationship acid-test: is this person I've been seeing for 2 years really someone I'm going to be able to share a lifestyle with?... someone I can grow with?... someone who's not going to pull back in fear if something new appears on the horizon?... roll with the punches and ride along with it?... Is there creativity within that kind frame?... can I respect him? I love the guy, but I need to make sure I'm not comprimising. It's been over 2 years now. Time to start asking these questions - next time I get around to it, I'll likely be 50. Soundtrack: Fun and funky house music - "I Am Fearless Funky and Five": A Tummy Touch collection |
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| 8.15.2001 | |
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8/15/2001 10:43:29 PM |
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| whoa... nuts... DNS hell. Box patching. Crazy net madness. Van has a new exhaust system (well, half of one) Prepping for Shambhala this weekend.... couple Kiwi chicks posted on the message board that they needed a ride, so we're gonna be meetin some new faces... travelerkarma. Burning Man is coming... preperation beginning. I operate only under stress. Soundtrack: Sweet sound of silence. |
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| 8.11.2001 | |
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8/11/2001 01:49:34 PM |
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| Whee! Server's up and running... thanks Atic for installing bunk memory! Haven't really done anything but stayed indoors the past few days getting this stuff up and running - of course, it's when it stops raining and we have a bloody heatwave... I think tomorrow, I'm gonna leave the computing, and force myself to go sit on a beach. It'll be good for my brain I think... Alex emailed me from Amsterdam - following up where my balls left off... "when in Rome" I suppose... Soundtrack Sweetbeats 300 - Makin Love Along the Way |
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| 8.6.2001 | |
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8/6/2001 01:12:36 AM |
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| Apartment almost back together. Nice gathering - but it's not what I'm after... less people. more intamacy. My brain hurts. Soundtrack: Carl snoring over Grateful Dead - Live @ Hundred Year Hall - second set... |
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| 8.4.2001 | |
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8/4/2001 06:55:27 PM |
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| Party tonight. Not nearly as stressed as I usually am - just sorta takin it easy and letting it fall into place... is what'll happen anyways :P Hopefully I don't get evicted... Soundtrack: REALLY BIG SOUNDSYSTEM IN MY LIVINGROOM. |
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| 7.27.2001 | |
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7/27/2001 05:56:33 PM |
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| a) Hot tub still not remedied. Hopefully will be getting reimbursed by insurance company. Grr. b) Shaw shut me down. Grr. Back online, but paying members blocked. "Big Ass Server" en route + co-lo coming up. Time to get serious. c) Mole of Soul had to bail on the 4th. Grr. d) I'm lonely. Soundtrack: Dave spinning in the livingroom, when all I want to hear is silence... grr. |
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| 7.21.2001 | |
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7/21/2001 08:11:51 PM |
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| Oh yeah - the adjuster for my hot tub never called this morning. Not cool. |
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7/21/2001 07:59:53 PM |
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| Had dinner @ Rick + Chris' place last night - I've got serious respect for those two... they seem to be living life to get what they want out of it, vs living it to get by... serious respect. Also talked about burningman plans wittem - think I'm gonna ask if we can commune with them there, and help out with their theme. From what I gathered of their last trip, camping with them is gonna add a serious sexual skew to the whole ordeal... no interest in the two of them myself, but they'd be wicked fun to party with... Soundtrack: Alex's Jet Set Euro mix (again)... he called me this afternoon from Berlin. It was 1am and he'd just finished up at the Love Parade... hate him outa jealousy :) |
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| 7.19.2001 | |
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7/19/2001 09:28:26 PM |
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| I think I really need to practice my mixing a lot more again. I can't even hold flow right now :( Soundtrack: Trainwrecks. |
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| 7.18.2001 | |
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7/18/2001 11:21:25 AM |
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| After 2 failed attempts and a few weeks of waiting, my hot tub finally arrived... visions of ecstacy fueled lesbian lust orgies and kinky delights were shattered quickly. a) it didn't fit in the elevator b) the GODDAMN MOVING COMPANY ripped the lining, wrote on the side with PERMANENT BLACK FELT and did something hard enough to break the FUCKING pipes inside the tub. Thank god fer insurance, cuz I'm out the cash for it at this point... now to see how it gets remedied. I'll start off polite. I don't think it'll last long. Soundtrack: Vicious Fishhead mix... I'm angry. |
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| 7.15.2001 | |
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7/15/2001 09:53:25 PM |
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| My hot tub gets delivered tomorrow. Playboy lifestyle, yo. |
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7/15/2001 09:38:05 PM |
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| Another weekend gone, enjoyable hours and a few more braincells spent. Friday night went to Sarah's place for a chill evening - then off to the Lotus... Saturday spun @ Global Beat then went out with Tim + his roomie michelle, and their friend Ben... met up with Alex + his friend Angel @ the Odessey before headin over to the Lotus...mmmusic. Friday night Carl called for a ride over (had spent the day @ wreck eating Gingersnap cookies and couldn't drive), and when everyone was headin to the lotus, he went home and I went out to play... after dancing, me n' Trevor went and smoked a joint @ stanley park, drinkin Vanila Stoli we bullshitted fer a while... it was really nice... at the same time it's a little frustrating that we're not seeing eachother as often, I'm really enjoying the place Carl and I are at -- we don't have to do everything together anymore, but can go do our own shit, then hang out again when we cross paths... I mean, certainly that's been brought about a little more by the fact that he's working fucked hours right now while he's putting together his company and doin the part time gig's a-plenty... but I think it's more the 2 year mark has brought it about - it might sound cold, but the relationship's somewhat routine at this point... we each dig our company, but it's more on a real life level than the lustenthralledwooing period (since forgotten). Commitment frightens me. Sitting idle frightens me more. Soundtrack: a mix I did for Alex to take with him to Europe when he leaves on Thursday... I think I'll call it "Jet Set Euro Trash". I'm going to miss him - I don't think he's gonna come back the same. |
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| 7.11.2001 | |
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7/11/2001 10:51:44 PM |
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| Busy week... booked my time off for burningman and a few other longweekendtrips in August. Hopefully the time away will make the dreariness of working for dying.com a little less harrowing... must not let the sun distract me too much from side projects. Decided this morning that I'm gonna catch Ani Difranco tomorrow... nice evening on Jericho beach sounds rather appealing... "Don't lose yourself, don't let yourself be lost." Soundtrack: Dr. Thompson Jeffrey - Delta Sync Sleep System... [zzz] |
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7/11/2001 10:45:09 PM |
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| "... in fact, however reluctant we might be to admit it, these distasteul realities of life also have to be considered, when the bowels function normally, anyone can have ideas, debate, for example, whether there exists a direct relationship between the eyes and feelings, or whether the sense of responsibility is the natural consequence of clear vision, but when we are in great distress and plagued by pain and anguish that is when the animal side of our nature becomes most apparent." - Blindness, Jose Saramago |
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| 7.6.2001 | |
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7/6/2001 04:50:49 PM |
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| Friday night. Probably the same as every friday night: after work drinks. dinner. mo' bars.. I guess I'm happy in this routine? Soundtrack: BCbud - Wet Coast Afternoon |
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| 7.4.2001 | |
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7/4/2001 10:19:16 PM |
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| Re-read this blog tonight... shocka how much changes in a year. 1) I'm now a productive member of the dot-communist generation (complete with worthless stock options). 2) I'm rotting on the inside - this landed me some surgery, 10 days in the hospital, and almost 2 months laid up, which gave me time to venture into... 3) I'm now a smut peddler. I'm sure there's plenty of other bits in there, but I needed to recap for the sake of continuity... detailed analysis or evolutionary thoughts will surely follow. Soundtrack: Howie B - Another Late Night |
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7/4/2001 10:07:21 PM |
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| "I was coming in the lips of Venus. She had green hair all around her milky white face, eyes so bright I was nearly blinded, and it was like shooting stars into the mouth o a goddess. And where the semen landed, against the cloth of night, the planets and the stars were formed there. I was making planets with my cock, coming on like God on heat. Took six nights to come the whole universe. On the seventh night, I rested. With a giant spliff, some wine, and a Screaming Heartache album. And a packet of biscuits. Arrowroot biscuits." - Vurt, Jeff Noon |
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| 7.3.2001 | |
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7/3/2001 10:43:32 AM |
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| I must say... there's really nothing yet I've discovered as relaxing on Wreck beach for an entire afternoon, sizzling in the sun, eating goofy ganga biscuits, surrounded by swarms o' bronzed nekkid people. Did see the most interesting interaction - a group of 3 deaf men wandered down onto the beach and sat near us... I'm not sure, but I believe they mighta been mo's... one of them was the cutest little stocky bear dude that I've ever seen... thuggish, tanklike, and a little bear tattoo on his crotch (not that I was paying too much attention to his crotch... [smirk])... ever consider how you'd start a conversation with a deaf guy? Wish I knew how to say "Hi. You're the hottest guy I think I've ever seen. Would you like to go for a beer?" in sign language... just walking up and motioning at my loins while I bumped and thrusted at the air just wouldn't carry the depth I could find in words. [sigh]... |
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| 7.1.2001 | |
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7/1/2001 08:08:44 PM |
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| Richie Hawtin tonight. Mmmmmtechno. Tim's in town - sure this is gonna get rediculous :) |
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| 6.21.2001 | |
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6/21/2001 08:31:49 AM |
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| "The poet, the artist, the sleuth - whoever shapens our perception tends to be antisocial; rarely 'well-adjusted', he cannot go along with currents and trends. A strange bond often exists among antisocial types in their power to see environments as they really are. This need to interface, to confront environments with a certain antisocial power, is manifest in the famous story, 'The Emperor's New Clothes.' 'Well-adjusted' couriers, having vested interests, saw the Emperor as beautifully appointed. The 'antisocial' brat, unaccustomed to the old environment, clearly saw that the Emperor 'ain't got nothin' on'. The new environment was clearly visible to him." - Marshall McLuhan (The Medium is the Massage) |
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| 6.11.2001 | |
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6/11/2001 02:38:06 PM |
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| Interesting couple of weeks. Last weekend went to Castlegar for outdoor party ( to see Dave get run outa town ) then a Saturday night 5 hour mix @ AJ's for a houseparty... good trek. This previous weekend, rolled down to Seattle on friday night for a farewell to the meat market ambient bash ... it was a really good time -- lotsa freaky folk to chat up, and some pleasantly surprising late night snuzzlins... (mmm) Saturday night was the Lounge X riverside massif - party was completely devoid of soul (see: parties for profit vs parties for heart rant), but it was wicked to see Dave spin a large crowd... even better to see them eat it up... PLUR's dead, but at least there's a soundtrack to accompany what they're gonna become -- glad I won't be working security. |
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6/11/2001 02:32:07 PM |
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| There's apparently 2 cycles In one, we are in awe of science. In the other, science is in awe of nature. Unfortunately right now, we are nearsighted... |
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| 5.30.2001 | |
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5/30/2001 10:31:54 PM |
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| Time flies when you're getting old.
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5/30/2001 10:20:49 PM |
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| Testing... testing... one two three... Is this thing on? Been gone, but never far... wiser? |
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| 8.25.2000 | |
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8/25/2000 02:56:03 PM |
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| ... hey ...
remember me? I'm getting ready for Burning Man. It'll be neat. |
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| 5.23.2000 | |
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5/23/2000 04:28:00 PM |
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| Oh yeah. Had a suite101 interview today that I forgot about until 10 minutes before... Bad scene. Rescheduled for tomorrow. Still haven't heard from moderngroove or openroad. Fingers crossed. |
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5/23/2000 04:26:25 PM |
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| What is more important: the experience or the memory of the experience? RV to Burning Man booked today. Hoping this time works out better than the last attempt. |
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| 5.19.2000 | |
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5/19/2000 05:20:23 PM |
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Today I *finally* managed to get an interview @ moderngroove. It didn't go jawdroppingly well, but I think I managed to not embarass myself and hold my own well enough that they didn't write me off... they'll be making a decision about hiring in the upcoming week... fuck I hope I'll hear back from them - it'd be like living a dream.
It's funny how what got me beat up in high school is now blossoming into a rather successful career. I wonder where the fist owners are... |
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| 5.16.2000 | |
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5/16/2000 01:06:53 PM |
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| Absolute mental turmoil at this point, but it's not stresslike - there's a clarity to it, since I know when things settle nothing will be worse. New job in funkland available. New directions in suitland possible. It's about fucking time. You don't know how shitty you feel after coming home from a day of absolutely *no* motivation inspired solely by the revelation that you're leaving... of course, it's not the uberemployee mentality, but I'm putting it to a close. I belong in Yaletown. Or at least somewhere with the atmosphere of 'tech is cool'. I've done what I've been told I'm supposed to for so long, and all it's ever done for the speaker is drive them to the grave frighteningly early. I'll end up there too. I'd like to enjoy the ride. I wish someone would overwork me. Personal tip: Previous pleasures with emotional content are cause for deepening. I wish I learned before how people work better when not pressured. Unwitnessed selfishness appears to be dissipating... |
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| 5.11.2000 | |
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5/11/2000 04:02:19 PM |
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| Our regularily scheduled program has been interrupted by the persuit of new employment, the revisiting of the cerebral reprogramming process by government appointed educational facilities, and the discovery of a brand new year 2000 model ulcer to throw a crimp into things... Lessons learned thusfar:
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| 5.9.2000 | |
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5/9/2000 12:48:44 PM |
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| Civilization is the effort to support an ongoing pretext that nobody has
to use the bathroom. (W. Seth Hanisek) |
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| 5.1.2000 | |
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5/1/2000 04:45:53 PM |
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| seems like i'm back in hawaii: the sand is still white, and the pinapples
are still delicious. i was welcomed by throngs of jubilant locals, who
immeditaely recognized me as "aloeia god of volcano" and offered
sacrifices of fruit and livestock in my honor. carried through the
streets on a platform of bamboo and throw cushions, i was led to the
Waikiki Pleasure Dome, where a thousand thrills awaited to satisfy even
the desires i didn't know i had yet. then i fell asleep on a bed of
butterfly wings, serenaded into somnabulance by a hundred steel guitar
players and six hundred virgin hula dancers. i am pleased. there will be
no volcano-fire this season, and the harvest will be plentiful.
Keith is the god of volcano. Keith is neat. |
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| 4.26.2000 | |
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4/26/2000 04:50:26 PM |
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| When do you settle? When do you stop chasing life, doing the whole grass is greener thing, and just stop? You've no choice really, otherwise you won't have anything stable: job, relationship, vehicle, house... they're supposed to be disposable for something better - but it scares me to think that I'll never settle on any. Maybe it's the solid base you build up that matters: you get a good job that you turn into your dream career - you meet the perfect partner that you evolve into this supreme onebeing with... why would you want to dispose of something that has no faults - which is the perfect match for yourself? So maybe that's it. You don't settle on anything until you find the best one. Sounds pretty lonely to me. (apologies for circular logic and rambling prose - it's a convoluted jumble in my head that I'm trying to work out. This is a therapudic beginning of sorts...) |
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| 4.25.2000 | |
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4/25/2000 04:26:32 PM |
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| M@: plz note last week's flu and lack of motivation kept me at home from mon-thurs
ma3: yeah, i understand that. M@: yeah. gonna start working on it. Just need to find a company that doesn't suck... no idea how ma3: you can never know until youve been fucked corporately up the ass for 5-6 months M@: I haven't been fucked up the ass ... it's more like a husband who just doesn't pay attention to his wife anymore... started off after the honeymoon just bangin away with her -- life was great... but now she feels ignored and her selfconfidence is drooping, and she thinks he might be sleeping with someone else. I mean, all she would have to do is get some sexy lingerie and toss it around a little... but she knows she could get better lovin and more excitement if she started sleeping around outside the relationship -- if it leads to divorce, so be it Welcome to my career. It slices! It dices! Just look at the life force drain! |
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| 4.12.2000 | |
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4/12/2000 10:30:14 PM |
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| A lazy evening spurned on once more... a buzz in the brain, a bear in the shower, Baby Mammoth on backup... Last night's viewing: Hi-fidelity AKA: Matt's movie Kinda sick to be sitting thru a movie about vinyl fetishism as a novelty replacement for nobility, and spend a good chunk of the film saying "I have that record" as they walk past rack after rack of black crack. [Stange Games and Things - grey cover, man smoking a hookah - great album of old rare groove gone good - kept being placed around the store in numerous shots...] Top 5 Matt Molding Movies: 1. Clockwork Orange: I have a tattoo on my leg - a barcode with 655321 written underneath it - Alex's prisoner number from the movie (had a different one in the book. 2. Natural Born Killers: A mindfuck seen with a fucked mind too many times not to have a lasting effect. Directly attributable for lack of attention span, I'm sure. 3. Falling Down: 20+ times in the theatre. I can relate. 4. Pink Floyd - The Wall: first album I ever owned, and is memorized note by note... when I found out there was a movie to match, my grasp of it was blown apart. 5. Wargames: Would you like to play a game? How about Global Thermonuclear Career? On review, the theme seems rather frightening Applied for another job today. I hope someone wants me. My soul is slipping away... starting with the easy changes. Hopin I don't have to work up to something bigger. Still no weekend summary/revisiting... my post-party-mid-week-slump is hanging in a little harder than usual... Getting closer to sliding over into the 'maybe its not worth it' category... What comes next? |
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| 4.10.2000 | |
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4/10/2000 10:32:12 AM |
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| I think the body/mind/soul needs an occasional bout of reckless hedonism to allow myself to feel in control of my existence.
The time where I launch out of control of my own free will, rather than, as I usually am, forced into a routine by my employer/employment. Taking back the will, even if it is momentary. |
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| 4.9.2000 | |
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4/9/2000 03:36:54 PM |
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| Ani Difrancoism (paraphrased, most likely): "Science chases money, money chases it's tail, the most brilliant minds of my generation, can't even afford to make bail." |
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4/9/2000 03:25:33 PM |
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| "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools" - For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway |
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4/9/2000 03:24:23 PM |
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| Lappin up a lazy weekend... mindframe is somewhat drained, so I'm going to pass by the analysis of Friday/Saturday for a brighter day... A reminder to myself tho... does wreak havoc on the melon... Friday's invent-a-word: Crack-homme (as used to describe the she-male on the 'tour de hooker'). |
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| 4.7.2000 | |
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4/7/2000 03:53:58 PM |
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| Tonight shall prove an interesting experiment/experience...
heading to the Ani Difranco concert, then off to an afterparty with a big group of friends... The layers of politics involved with a gathering of this size is unprecedented, and will be interesting to witness firsthand how people deal with it -- would probably be rude to take notes for future reference though... In addition, I wonder how the 'raving' thing is going to go over. I mean, first off there's Carl, who is going along for the ride, but I have a feeling it's mostly due to glamorization on my part... which leads me to the second point... am I too old for this? Is raving something that I should leave in my past, and am I just clinging onto something I once was, and now that it's looked upon through distant eyes, is actually something I regret having been and can see the effects of it and a lot of the reasons for it now? Or maybe now, it can simply be something to do, rather than be. Should prove to be an intersting, fun, and complex night none-the-less... Film at 11... |
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4/7/2000 03:20:46 PM |
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| "Across the oat-colored plains Anna-Louise and I sail, snug in my little car, inhaling hot electronic tunes sung by depressed British children. We rush through the sunny air past copses of scarlet trees, fields fencing snorting horses, and the 70mm sky above us is big and blue, like a jigsaw puizzle completed just moments ago. 'Oh, Tyler, did you book a hotel yet?' asks Anna-Louise. The two of us are planning to go up to British Columbia the weekend after next. 'Yes, my little runner-up.' 'Is the hotel Marge? It has to be Marge. I want atmosphere.' Marge is Anna-Louise's word describing sad, 1950s-ish diner-type places where the waitresses are named Marge. 'Yes, its Marge.' 'Whats the name? The Lucky Puppy? The Plucky Ducky?' 'The Aloha' 'Its Marge.' A pause. 'Tyler?' 'Yeah?' 'You are my trailer park.' 'And you, Anna-Louise, are my tornado.' " |
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4/7/2000 03:09:47 PM |
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| I've delved back into Coupland lately... hence: " Imagine you are sitting down in a chair and on a screen before you you are shown a bloody, ripping film of yourself undergoing surgery. The surgery saved your life. It was pivotal in making you you. But you don't remember it. Or do you? Do we understand the events that make us who we are? Do we ever understand the factors that made us do the things we do? When we sleep at night -- when we walk across a field and see a tree full of sleeping birds -- when we tell small lies to our friends -- when we make love -- what acts of surgery are happening to our souls -- what damage and healing and shock are we going through that we will never be able to fathom? What films are generated that will never be shown?" Do you truly think that you are a creature of your own creation, or a collage of everything you've ever purchased? I know lately that I'm feeling devoid of myself, and attempting to re-create myself with consumables... in fact, the main driving force in my life right now [job] is to allow me to purchase more, while required for staples [food, clothes, etc] doesn't require nearly as much time to achieve as I throw into it. I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be a hollow shell. Is there a balance? |
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| 2.22.2000 | |
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2/22/2000 05:13:57 PM |
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| thinking this thing works now.
now to hope a brainfart follows. |
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