Tuesday, August 22, 2000
2:16 PM
Started smoking again on day 9. I will keep this up, though, because I fully intend to stop again.
Thursday, August 3, 2000
12:36 AM
Driving was okay...parking, well...I went a little nuts. Thankfully my friend Julia helped me out. ;-) A lovely lady named Rhyannon gave me a wonderful back rub that helped calm me down. And then Candy had a book about detoxifying your body, and there was a section on nicotine. It suggested taking vitamin C every 2 hours to help with cravings, so Candy gave me some chewable vitamin C tablets.
Stopped at the store on the way home and bought some more munchies.
Wednesday, August 2, 2000
8:08 PM
I'm going to hang out for awhile with some nonsmoking friends in a nonsmoking environment. Driving will be hard.
I haven't smoked in 15 hours, 35 minutes and 40 seconds. 29 cigarettes not smoked, saving $3.07. Life saved: 2 hours, 25 minutes.
5:39 PM
Oh, this is HARD. But I'm doing it! I went for a long walk earlier, and it occured to me that even though I am eating more, I may not gain THAT much weight, because my activity level is going to go up a LOT..I live this incredibly sedentary lifestyle, because, hey, it's too hard to smoke while taking a walk, etc. I used to try to do exercise tapes, and I'd take a cig break in the middle!! So my activity level will probably go up enough to help with some of the weight gain.
I feel all lightheaded and weird..like I'm not "all there". Kind of dizzy, I guess. I *know* a lot of the trouble I'm having is just the habit stuff. But if I was to try to cut out the things I do that I smoke during/before/after, I'd need to just have someone knock me out till this is over. I smoked before/during/after EVERYTHING.
Hey, check it out! I said, "smoked"!! I'm already thinking of myself as a nonsmoker without having to work at it. Hehe...
I have now gone longer without a cigarette than I have since I started smoking 22 years ago. And I've survived it! (The kids haven't, though. They hate me now - but they'll get over it.)
1:57 PM
Well, here it is, D-Day. I keep wanting a cigarette, but it's not that jaw-getting-tight, obsession kind of craving, it's just...that's what I DO. When I talk on the phone, I smoke. When I check my email, I smoke. When I take a break from housework, I smoke. I feel kind of lost. Yeah, it would taste good right now, but mostly it's just what I DO.
The good news is this kind of urge is easy to put down with the "I don't do that anymore" kind of thought, but it pops up again a few minutes later. It seems like as time passes and my brain gets used to the fact that it is not longer what I do, then that part will be easier.
I haven't had a full-blown CRAVING yet.
9 hours, 24 minutes and 27 seconds. 17 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1.85. Life saved: 1 hour, 25 minutes.
Tuesday, August 1, 2000
10:37 PM
Well, I cleaned out all the car ashtrays, and went and bought some grapes, juice and pretzel sticks to keep me busy hopefully without gaining too much weight. I'm going to a quilt tying thingie tomorrow, that should keep me busy in a nonsmoking environment.
I'm nervous!! But I can do this!! (I think Alyson and Ted are more nervous than I am!)
I will quit smoking in 4 hours, 25 minutes and 56 seconds.
5:51 AM
Reasons to Quit Smoking:
Can't be a smoking doula
Won't smell like nasty cigarettes
Sick of not being able to do things being a smoker in a nonsmoking world
Want to be around when kids are grown
Don't want to have a painful, drawn out death
Don't want to put my kids through a painful, drawn out death
Secondhand smoke -- don't want to make the kids sick
Teeth will be better
Skin will be better
Stomachaches will be better
Sinuses will be better
I will be able to breathe better
Coughing!
Knowing that I met this difficult challenge
House won't smell nasty
Won't have to worry about burn holes in things
Won't feel guilty sneaking off to have a cigarette at gatherings
Will make kids and Ted proud of me
Will make friends proud of me
Things will taste better
$$
Won't ever have that panic of "I'm out of cigs and can't get to store"
Teeth and fingers won't be yellow
Won't have to get up and go smoke when in a conversation
If I work in an office again, breaks can be used for something productive for me
More time in general
Sleep better (eventually)
Oh, the stroke thing
Car windows won't be all icky with nicotine
New van will stay nicer
Better for my 'puter
No risk of burning the kids
Don't have to worry about where to dispose of butts
5:51 AM
I just downloaded a little program that will allow me to cut and paste my "smoking stats" -- it's called SilkQuit and it's from www.silkquit.org. I also started posting on this board called The Smoking Cessation Forum at About.com.
I will quit smoking in 21 hours, 12 minutes and 10 seconds.
2:24 AM
Thought I'd keep a journal of this quitting smoking thing. People say it helps.
It's Tuesday in the wee hours, and on Wednesday I wake up a non-smoker. So I've got less than 36 hours of smoking. On one hand I feel dread, but on the other I feel kind of excited. It's quite a challenge. I've quit before, twice. I lasted an hour each time.
I really, really want to do this. Found a great page about quitting with tons of great hints at http://www.ama-assn.org/insight/gen_hlth/smoking/smoking.htm. I'm looking at other pages now.
I'm doing Zyban, but not with a doctor's help. Don't ask. Anyway, I'm reading some journals of other people who did it the Zyban way.
I'll add to this later. Gonna go read those journals some more.
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