TO ARCHIVE

Wednesday, September 12, 2001

FINALLY!

"I say to our enemies: We are coming," said Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona. "God may have mercy on you, but we won't."

The government is showing some freakin balls.


posted by Red Teufel 10:57 PM

Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund via Amazon.com

September 11, 2001

America Under Attack

It's a time in everyone's life that we will all remember. The day that outside forces attacked us and murdered innocent people. We were not at war with anyone, but we soon might be.

Tears actually flowed from my eyes while I watched the news, seeing the planes hitting the The World Trade Center Towers. The plane colliding into the Pentagon. Seeing those towers collapse. Imagining what the people that were still inside were experiencing at that moment.

Sadness changed to paranoia. What else will happen. Where will they hit next. Why are they doing this. Atlanta is listed on the top 5 for possible hit areas. Should I leave, should I stay.

I watched the news unfold before me. I became angered. I had no one to talk to about this, no one to vent to. Like many Americas, we were all in shock. How can this happen?

I finally got in touch with everyone I knew in NYC and DC, all were okay. I did what everyone else had to do, I had to do emails and Instant messeges. Everyone I knew was okay, but I still felt bad

My opinion, along with my sister's, is to have the government just take out EVERY Terrorist leader. Use the special forces, the CIA, the NSA, and anything else to just smack anything down and show that we don't take shit from anyone.

My thoughs and blessings go out to all the friends and family of the victims of this attack.




posted by Red Teufel 6:28 PM

Friday, September 07, 2001

story about my mom's visit later

I've been SOOOOOO dicked around at work and get bitched at for anything I say. Then I get passed up for a fucking job that I started with this client. All the documentation being used is mine...and I get fucking passed.

Then, the boss comes by...and goes "Just wanted to say you are doing a great job" Yeah...great job, because I keep my mouth shut, don't say a goddamn thing to anyone about all the fucked up shit going on here and just read my comic strips.

GREAT JOB my ass.


posted by Red Teufel 5:23 PM

Monday, August 27, 2001

This weekend has been pretty interesting. Had a few drinks on friday night and then went to a party on saturday. It was a SMOG party and I was going with the "ex-wife" Nicole.

I decided that since it was a party being thrown by a gay couple, that I would invite a friend and his boyfriend. When they got to my house, my friend was already drunk. We went and picked up some Smirnoff Ice to drink at the party. I think he went through 2 more on the drive there. His boyfriend was a bit concerned about it all. I should have known something was up, seeing that this happened at another party I invited this friend to.

Long story short, he got EXTREMELY drunk. Climbed up to the roof of the building, ranted about how his was going to jump off. The basics of Drama. The boyfriend and I didn't know what to do. So, we ignored it a bit. More drama on top of drama. It was very annoying and I was getting a bit pissed about it.

The boyfriend ended up wanting to leave and he was going to take the friend with. I was riding with them, but decided to get a ride home with someone else. First, the friend didn't get in the car...he just walked up the road and around the corner. People asked me what I was going to do and I decided to do nothing. You don't ask a god to do favors when he's been pissed on...FOR THE SECOND TIME.

The boyfriend drove up the road and stopped. I saw the friend get in the car. For some reason, I just had the notion that I would not be seeing either of them again. It was a weird movie scene going on. Dark alley way, car picks up someone and they drive off.

I went back to enjoying the party and scoffed the stories that I heard about my friend and what he was ranting about on the roof. My being afraid of heights, there was no way I was going to do anything anyways. I finally met the INFAMOUS Obie and his date. Cute couple they were.

I was hanging with a co-working and we decided to jump the train. Obie and his date also joined us. I forgot that when you are running to get on a train, that you are moving fast. And I didn't think about it when i jumped off the train. I saw Brett jump, I saw Obie and his girl jump and then it was me. I jumped. I scratched up my hands. I lost my hat for a second. But the first thing I checked was if my pants were ripped! THEY WERE NOT! WHOO HOO!

Obie's hands looked as bad as mine. He was whining a bit about him. For a big strong guy, he's kinda baby-ish! I got a ride home with Brett and showed him around the house. He liked it.

After he left, I checked my voicemail. It had been a few hours since the friend and his bf had left the party. It was the boyfriend calling to apologize about all that happened. He mentioned something about some kind of physical stuff between the two...and I had to agree with him. I would have done the same.

I left him a message back to tell him that he didn't need to worry about anything. That it was my fault for not learning my lesson the first time. I'm not even going to check the journal to see if I logged the first time I was totally embarrased by this guy.

Right now, my wrists hurt. I sprained them. It's hard to type, but I'm getting passed the pain and moving forward. I'm going to try to quit smoking tomorrow, but I think it might be the wrong time. Since Mom is coming into town, I might want to wait till that is over. I'll give it a try, but I'm not thinking I will be successful right now. :( We'll see. I ran into someone Friday that told me that the other habit I need to pick up to fill the hole that smoking will leave is Masturbation. I asked him how that worked at WORK and it said that he does it all the time at work. But, he's never smoked before. :) It'd me alot of whacking off at work.

I'm going to take some Nyquil and go to sleep now. I love Nyquil!
posted by Red Teufel 12:34 AM

Monday, August 20, 2001

I spoke with my mom last night. She is doing alot better! I'm happy. Now I found out that she wants to "get away" for a weekend and come here to Atlanta. OY VEY! She asked me to look at some cheap tickets to fly here, because 6 hours of driving probably isn't the best thing for her. She's thinking about coming down for Labor Day weekend. I think it's labor day...that day and memorial day always mess me up.

It would be cool for her to come. Just me and her. She'll sleep in the bed of the god and I'll crash on the floor. I'll take a day off of work and hang out with her the entire weekend...the ENTIRE LONG WEEKEND. I was hoping she would come down sometime, but at least after I got my place set up. I'm still living out of boxes. I have like NO furniture and there are just empty beer bottles all over. Oh Geez, I might have to call in some favors to help get my place up to "GHETTO FAB" standards so my mom doesn't think I'm living like a bum! The Mother of the Red God cannot see her child living like a BUM! Hahahahaaaa.

I'm excited and a bit nervous. She wants to bring one of the family friends with her. Now I'm wondering where everyone is going to sleep. I only have a double bed ... no couch as of yet. It's going to be insane! I'll have to clean the litter box! heheheeee.

What is a god to do?!?


posted by Red Teufel 12:55 PM

Wednesday, August 15, 2001

Well, my mom is doing okay. She's out of the hospital. YEAH! She doesn't sound good, but she's feelings loads better. Again, it sucks being so far away from her when things like this happen.

Yesterday I had this really cool idea, I'm sure it's going to be stolen now that I write it, but that's okay. It's a good one to share. Looking at all these diaries and how people talk about what's going on in their lives and getting a feel for who they are, really gives you good insight to others. I thought it would be cool getting with some organization that works with under-privelaged children. Have then write a diary/journal for about a month or so. Then take them all together and publish them. Have all profit going back to the organizations.

The beauty of this whole thing is that spelling would not be changed, nothing would be edited out. It would be just raw inner writings of kids and how they live and see the world.

I think this would give a better understand to alot of us how organizations like Big Brothers/Big Sisters help and how we could do the same thing. We all have experiences to share, why not share them with someone that can actually use them.

Of course, this is a pipe dream. I wouldn't know the first thing to do about this. I have no money to back it up or even if a publishing company would be interested in something like this. How would the public view it. Would the Upper-Class Old Money woman buy the book? Would she feel sorry for these kids?


I dunno...I don't even know if I'd buy the book....



posted by Red Teufel 8:51 PM

Friday, August 10, 2001

FUCK!

My mom's in the hospital again. This time she had gotten a cold and it developed into something bad. She got bronchitis and stuff drained into her lungs. The Steroids that she is on interacted with the stuff and now she's laid up in the bed on Oxygen. :(

Good thing is that she should be out this weekend. It's probably something that could have been checked out earlier, but she's not one to go to the doctor. She's tired of it. Been there too many times and has had too many things ripped out of her.

Sometimes I hate being so far away that I can't visit and see how she's doing.


posted by Red Teufel 12:49 PM

Sunday, August 05, 2001

It's sunday now and I never got a phone call back. Well, not that I know of. No messages. Of course, I didn't sit by the phone and wait. I wish I knew all the rules on this kind of stuff. How many times do you leave messages before you give up? Once, Twice, Three-times? (yes, there's another word for the third time, but I'm not going to use it...it's messed up.)

"Swordfish" was a good movie, went on a "quasi-date" type thing. It was cool, just don't know. I'm not a big dating kind of guy and I've always had bad relationships in the past that ended up wierd. There's the Doctor ... who would be "Mr. Big" if I were Carrie from "Sex and the City" and then there's the Bostonian. Both are still part of my life, but in very weird situations.

I went to a friend's house last night and we did an internet show. It's like Mystery Science Theater 3K combined with Howard Stern on top of Porno. Folks love it. I like doing the voice overs. I didn't get drunk, thank me, and I was home around 2:30am. Crazy thing was, I slept until 2:30pm! It's weird how when you sleep too much, you end up being tired when you wake up. So, I have to hit the great goddess Caffeina! She needs to give me power!

OOOOH GREAT CAFFEINA! GODDESS OF LIFE AND ENERGY! GRANT ME POWER!

posted by Red Teufel 3:21 PM

Friday, August 03, 2001

Okay, I did it. at 1pm on Friday. I dialed the numbers. The phone rings. The phone rings again. And again. And one more time. Answering machine picks up. FUCK! but also YES! Two names on the greeting. Hmmm ... no phone sex messages this time. PHONE VOICE = deep, relaxed, confident.

"Hey, this is Red. I finally did it! I dialed your digits! I'm not a schmuck! Well, um...I'm at home right now, my number's ... uh ... what is it ... oh! ###.###.#### ... but I'll be going to work soon ... you can call me at work too ... my ... uh ... my number there is .... uh ... ###.###.####. Well, give me a call!"

Damn damn damn! I'm a loser! hahahahaaaa! I'll never get a return call, no response, I'll be cutting grass this weekend.


posted by Red Teufel 1:03 PM

Dammit .... I haven't used the FONE number yet. I'm a schmuck. I was too busy at work to attempt to do "personal things" so I haven't called. I think that 3:27am is WAY to late or early to call. FUCK FUCK FUCK! Why am I a total loser when it comes to things like this? I'll probably blow the WHOLE thing and end up not doing anything at all this weekend ... besides cutting the grass, which I extremely hate!

DEEP BREATH, DEEP BREATH! ....my cat still has fleas, even after using Frontline PLUS for Felines. But I have noticed alot more trying to get on my hairy ass....so that might mean something. BTW...that's not literally MY hairy hind side ... just me in general.


posted by Red Teufel 3:29 AM

Thursday, August 02, 2001

Last night, I went out after work. I was feeling good a couple of bucks in my pocket. Met some very cool folks, ran into some OLD friends and honestly enjoyed myself!

I GOT A PHONE NUMBER! I GOT A PHONE NUMBER! and an invite to go to a pool party! WOO HOO!


posted by Red Teufel 12:16 PM

Tuesday, July 31, 2001

After a long night of Karaoke, pitchers of beer, freaky drag queens, big butch woman singing "Earl's gotta Die", and my version of "Radio Song" by R.E.M, I headed home to a good night's rest. I've been waking up every night, hearing all the bumps and booms around the house. I assume they are normal, but never noticed them before. So, I grab some cotton balls and stuff them in my ears so I wouldn't hear then and sleep all night. I slept great! Obviously if I'm up at 10am!

Checking my mail, I get some nice surprises. Other writers have written me! That is so cool! I love it!

Here's some props for this gutsy lil chick, who's had her heart broken ... but I'm sure everything is going to be all right!       f e t a l v i o l e t      

Now, this guy has me reeling everytime I go to his site. At least he's smart enough to hide all his links IN his journal entries! That's very smooth. Be Warned! There is nudity on this site! TungLov4U !

Now I have returned back to my old routine of drinking a pot of coffee when I wake up. Helps get me going in the morning. Eventhough this morning, doesn' t seem like last night's run to the Local Krystal, (it's like White Kastles for folks not around here) well...it just doesn't seem to be sitting well with me ... guess I'll be doing some sitting. *GRIN*

One of my horoscopes for this week: "You might finally see some of the fears you sense in your partners are really your own. Delve deeper into your past, and explore why you burned the bridges you did."
Is that talking about Past Life Regression? I've always wanted to do that. Maybe I should give Ms. Cleo a call.


posted by Red Teufel 10:39 AM

Monday, July 30, 2001

The Saying of Day!

"Your tampon fell out and we are all feeling the flow!"

posted by Red Teufel 5:13 PM

dark
So, it seems like I have made an enemy since I joined the The Diarist.Net. I guess this is more of a competion than I thought. I did not know that I was competing with the other sites, I thought it was just a simple listing based on hits. Looking at my counter, I would say that I do get alot of hits on my site. 6000+ since October 2000. That's good, right?

I received some nice emails from the Journalist of "THE DARK", claiming that I'm cheating. Unknown to him, he would become the next journal entry for the REDNESS.

you cheating piece of shit ... your site is a turd. the ONLY way you can get that many clix is by cheating. you will be gone within a week.

Honestly, I can't really cheat on this site. They go by unique hits and I do not have enough time to sit there, go to the site, clear my cache, memory and cookies and go back up again. I actually enjoy the little life that I have and I do have better things to do. The only way I can cheat, is to do what everyone else does, display my site for others to see. Be it via chat rooms, word of mouth, or signature files.

I use standard and very basic HTML code in my design. Knowledge that I have picked up from everywhere else. So, I don't see how I could be cheating, if I'm doing the same thing everyone else is doing.

Every now and then, I do like to get my curiousity piqued. And this has. In my simple godly life, competition is not one of my strong suits. I simply enjoy telling stories about my life and things that I come across. It's a way for people to get to know a side of me that they would not normally see. What is it that this DARK is scared of or even threatened by? How can a Little Redheaded God in Atlanta do anything to threaten a Senior Software Engineer in California? If my powers have become that strong, I'd really like to know.

Writing is almost a direct connection to my screwed up mind. I type and tell stories about things that I would not normally say.

I do have to end this entry by saying

Thank you, Mr. Dark!

I'm feeling much better now, maybe I needed to just get some blood pumping and get out of the slump that I had been in.


posted by Red Teufel 3:53 PM

So, I joined this website directory that has a TOP 250 listings of journals, blogs, diaries and crap like that. To my surprise, I'm currently in the top 10! WOO HOO!

I really don't understand why or how I get so many hits ... but it's kinda cool when I go out in a club and people start talking to me about stuff going on in my life. It's almost like being on the "real world". They know what I put down, but not everything in my life.

I'm having this pipe dream about getting a job doing just this. Writing thoughts and opinions on certain topics. With a bit of research, I can have a very strong opinion about anything. I guess on of the good things about being a god is that I'm like a jack-of-all-trades. I know a little bit about everything, but I have to work a bit to be good at one.

Life is still sucking. Work is starting to get on my nerves. It's hard to go from being a "Bishop" to being a "Pawn". I seem to be over-looked for alot of things, even though they seem to be my strong-suits. It's fine. I'm learning to keep my mouth shut and my head not too high. Blend in with the fake plants. I'm trying to use my chameleon skills to the max.

The job market doesn't look that good, hence the reason why I'm not looking for another job right now. I wouldn't want to get another one and then get the axe because I'm new. At least not in the tech field. I've been thinking about getting a second part time job, but my only free time is 1am - 5am or Saturdays and Sundays. Not the best hours. Maybe I'll look at barbacking or something cool like that. THE BARTENDING GOD! Hell, if it looks like I'll get more money doing that, I might just quit my current job and do that full time. It would give me a bit more life to see. Plus, the dress code wouldn't suck as bad.

I am still getting over this mono. It's in the final stages. Hacking up things that I don't want to see. Only small aches and pains. No fever, thank me! I spent most of this weekend sleeping, which was wonderful! Sleeping all day, lazing around all night. I was just like my cat ... but without those damn fleas! I wish I could figure out away to get rid of them! FOREVER! (besides getting rid of my kitty). I'll just visit the vet and fork over 30 bucks, which I don't have, to get the supah-dupah flea killing scheite!

More coffee, then off to work I go!


posted by Red Teufel 1:13 PM

Thursday, July 26, 2001

Spider-Man Hype! - James Franco - Harry Osborn

This is the guy who will play "Harry Osborn" in the new Spiderman movie.

I had a dream the other night that I was cast as this role. Just picked up off the streets to do it. The dream was pretty good. Went through the filming of the movie, the action, the drama, even the stunts. The best part was at the end, after Harry Osborn's dad "The Green Goblin" is defeated by Spiderman. The camera opens up to an underground workshop, where Harry Osborn (me) is putting on some armor. Brass-like orange armor. Then he slips on a helmet and turns towards the camera. "The Green Goblin might have been defeated, Spiderman ... but now you must face the next generation! You must face me! THE HOBGOBLIN! BWAHAHAHAHAAaaaaAaaaaaaa!" Then the camera fades out on his glowing yellow eyes.

Who knows, maybe this Franco kid might bite it and someone will discover me to take over the role! How cool would that be? The RED GOD on the BIG SCREEN?!?!


posted by Red Teufel 8:11 PM

Obie Fernandez

So, I was talking to the Ex-wife again. She told me I don't have to take the step-son, while she and the new guy go out of town. They have a housesitter. Good Old Obie. I wonder if he got teased in school. "Use the Force, Obie! USE THE FORCE!" Seriously, I kinda feel sorry for this guy. Just scanned his blog and looks like he's going through a divorce. I seem to know alot of people that are involved somehow with break ups these days. They are either IN the break-up, getting over a break-up, or causing a break-up.

For me, I prefer to be single right now. Yes, I still wake up in the middle of the night and freeze to listen to anything going on in the house. Being alone has it's highs and lows, not sure which one is better. I liked knowing that someone else was around if I needed them, but it's cool to know that I can run around in my underwear without any worries.

Just this week, I realized that I am very disconnected from people. I came down with another break-out of Mono. I have something called "Chronic Mononucleosis" which is sometimes related to "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome". I had been pushing myself too much these past few weeks. Being stressed with work and not getting enough sleep. It was bound to happen and it did. Thought it was allergies at first, but when I woke up on Monday morning with a fever, pain in my whole body and hacking up 3 lungs ... I knew. Checked all the signs that I was taught to look for ... and I found them. Nothing I can really do besides rest and treat the effects, but not that cause.

I had to call in sick 2 days, but the messed up thing was, the 2nd time ... I had to call from a Payphone. Leave it to Bellsouth to fuck something up. ADSL was working on the phone lines and they pulled the line and didn't hook it back up right. I was without a phone for 2 days! Sick, at home, and no connection to the outside world. Totally disconnected. I could have died (if I were human) and nobody would have known. Finally today, after hours of bitching. I got my phone lines working. DSL still isn't going ... go figure. At least I have a connection to the outside ... just no-one to connect to.

The Ex-wife is having another wild hair up her very well spanked ass. She wants to write a screenplay with me. RODNICORED productions. She told me the basic story. I thought about it. Added to it. Told her. Not what she was looking at. She wants a "love" story with romance and all that. What's love got to do with it? What's love but a second hand emotion? GO TINA ! Something that we will have to fake, because we really don't know much about love and romance and all that sappy stuff. This should be interesting, to see what we come up with. What kind of twisted tales we can put together and make look sweet and innocent.

So, Here's to OBIE!

BEST of LUCK WITH CHUTNEY!

and watch out for the vibrators!


posted by Red Teufel 4:56 PM

Wednesday, July 18, 2001

n i c o l e ' s s i t e

My ex-wife has gone back to writing in a new blog. She's back to her dreaming of past and future lives. Recently, rattling on about a drive she had with her love thang.

I've recently lost my drive ... a slap in the face from my employment. For a few months now, I have been busting my ass to improve things. I did not even use the REDNESS at work. Doing a great job, turning everything around ... then I get the big BOOM. Moved to another department, lesser position ... REASON: Negative Attitude. The real reason was a political power struggle. I was not a kiss ass to the Director's lil butt pirate...so she had me moved behind my manager's back and made some BS up about me.

I really don't care as long as I keep my pay. I'll do whatever, but I don't like being the pawn of someone's games. I do my job and I do it fairly well. I could do even better, using my godly powers, but I don't.

I know this is a stepping stone to something else. I have made some contacts to get me out of this area. I need to get out of this stress ... it's even affected my sex life! I've TURNED DOWN SEX! 3 WAYS EVEN! Not a good thing!

My creativity is down, my sex drive is down, my stress levels high, my morale is low, the redness is flickering.


posted by Red Teufel 8:25 PM

Saturday, July 14, 2001

RedT: I have a "Mr. Big"
Nico: yah? I have a "Ms. Cunt"
Nico signed off at 9:48:49 AM.



This was flashing at me. Laughing at me. Taunting me. It my hour of need, I turned to the my former "Old Lady" ... and all I got was a SIGNED OFF. Maybe She didn't understand the code. Maybe I did something wrong. I don't remember doing or saying anything wrong. The term "Mr. Big" comes from the show "Sex and the City." It's about the love interest that the main character is always haunted by, but never really can have.

I was at a club last night and bumped into an ex. The ex that always haunts me. The one that will probably forever haunt me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that familiar wink and nod. The sexy and luring, wink and nod. I got weak in the knees knowing who it was from. And as I turned to look, the ex was gone. Vanished into the crowd of people. Was I dreaming this?

Later, I was ordering a beer and again, I see out of the corner of my eye...pacing. Pacing as if to say "should I stay or should I go now?" (old clash song) I turned and invited the EX over. We did do some very TINY ITSY BITSY small talk. It was exhausting! Trying to come up with something to say. I suggest a lunch thing. Other plans were already made... denied. So, I suggest a phone call sometime. Of course that's always agreed on... holding formation.

My being a red god... how can I be affected so much by this. I know red is the color of passion and of love. But, since we broke up...I have not really felt any of that. I have felt lust... desire... hate... but never true love like I had felt in this case... well, I thought it was true love.

So, now I'm going to live my life as it was... shitty because of work mainly... and I'll see if I get a phone call. Figures that on Friday the 13th, something like this would happen.


posted by Red Teufel 10:16 AM

Sunday, July 08, 2001

After spending the day with a friend and his current love interest, I couldn't help feeling a bit uncomfortable. I have never been in a successful relationship that lasted longer than a few months. True love never really came into the picture. I had always thought it was my fault. I was the one who was uncomfortable with the situations and usually set things up for the downfall of it.

Living in a city of 3 million people, you would have to wonder why someone cannot find a few people that are totally compatible. Of all the relationships that I have seen, I have not seen any that would be considered anything close to perfect. It would almost seem like the perfect relationship would be none. You meet someone, you have a great time, you send them off. No real stress moments or anything. Not having to worry about the other's future emotions or feelings.

I went on a blind date last night and in a way, the date was alot like me, but opposite. Bondage was a main factor. We both love the physical pleasures and like to explore different things. You would have thought this would have been the match for me. The only problem that I already see is the "circle" situation. We have too many people in common. Another factor is the dominate/submissive thing. Role-playing is fun, but extremely draining. I can't keep up a role like that.

I start to think that the best thing for me is to be single forever. I can deal with one night stands and anonymous sex ... the sex friend thing is already starting to have bad stipulations on it. I can see that all of those relationships end up with one person getting to serious or jealous.

I'm not a very trusting person in the first place, so any serious advances towards me, I handle with doubt and skepticism. I went out with my buddies a few nights ago to go dancing. I was the god of the club. Dancing my ass off. I could have had any pick, had loads of flirtations, but again... I go home alone and not even think about it. Any phone numbers that I collect, simply go into the trash.

So, is it possible for a God to fall in love or even be in a romantic relationship? Right now ... I don't think so.


posted by Red Teufel 12:33 AM

Thursday, July 05, 2001

Merriam-Webster OnLine - DISAPPOINTED

Disappointment, a word I've started to become familiar with. A feeling, I don't like to know. I can take anger, hate, sadness and other things like that, but this one is the one I don't like at all.

I had originally had plans to hang out with some friends yesterday, hmmm ... seems like someone forgot to give me the details about it. Seeing that I did the dumb thing and sat up my whole schedule on this, turned down other offers, but that was okay ... things do happen. THEN, I was supposed to have these same people meet me at my place to do things further on that night ... but I sat at home waiting. Cleaned up for the guests, made some fricken KOOL-AID! But, I still waited ... I waited until the party started at the second location, where I should have already been. So, I called ... guess what? the people I had been waiting on, weren't showing up. They decided not to, but they didn't figure on giving me a call to tell me so.

So, this is where the disappointment sat in. For a few seconds, I was even thinking about just canceling everything and crawling into bed. It sucks when a simple emotion can hurt like that. Not even beer can take that one away ... because it keeps nagging in your head.

When someone wants you to be there for them, be reliable and be a friend ... you expect it in return. Life changes, people change, and people change others.

I feel a bit changed now. 2 cases of disappointment, in less than a week! I would rather someone not promise anything to me, but have an easy "might" or "maybe" thrown at me ... that way I don't have an expectation set.

I do have to say that I have learned something. Don't take someone by the words.... take them by their actions.... and take their actions with a grain of salt. At times, what a person does, it's always what it seems, but a way of producing a response. It's sad that I have to start putting up my bubble a little bit more. I was actually working on taking it down ... I was enjoying being a bit open with people ... but why have it down then the majority of the feelings that you get are bad ones ... not good. I haven't found love, I haven't found happiness, I haven't found joy ... just disappointment.

Happy Fricken Fourth of July


posted by Red Teufel 6:04 PM

Monday, July 02, 2001

Joke: A redheaded god walks in a bar to meet a friend of his, only men in the bar, cheap beer. Along comes a co-worker. Hmmm...Realization that both are probably thinking the same thing, "what the hell is he doing here?" Punch line: They both came with a friend, but still questions will arise. (Sorry, not a real joke)

As I sit here and type, I start to think that there are alot of stigmas about a person's sexuality. Is this person straight, is this person gay, is this person a slut, is that person a virgin? Many times have I had this question asked to me or gossiped about. The plan in simple fact is that I like people. Sex in our age is no longer for procreation; it's for pleasure. It's for showing someone else that there is SOME attraction. Honestly, I hate say that I condemn anyone for their sexual preferences or desires. It's all good. If I don't want to hear about someone having some fucked up experience, I'll tune it out while they are telling a story. The key factor is that they enjoyed themselves.

Sexuality is such a small factor of a person. I honestly don't care how someone "swings" ... as long as they do not make it a major factor in their life. SO, ya muff dive? Okay, that's nice ... don't obsess on it. I have known many of gay guys who get offended when a dumbass calls them a "faggot" for no reason at all. Hate to say this, they probably didn't know that they were cock suckers. It's just a freakin word that people use out of ignorance. How many times do you remember hearing that word when you were a kid? Did it actually mean that you REALLY were one? No...it was/is lumped in the category as an undefined character slur that people use.

I honestly love sex, mostly with myself these days, but any kind of sex. I love hearing stories about sex. It's totally more than the physical interaction of people, but the act of sex on it's on. 2 or more people getting together to please each other and themselves. THAT'S HOT!

I really like it when someone asks me about my sex life. I just say I'm sexual. I like sex, especially when someone else is enjoying it as much as I do. I can watch it, do it, hear it, it's all good for me. It might have something to do with being from a European background that just nudity doesn't do ALOT for me. Pictures of sexual acts though! You can see emotion, passion, eroticism in things like that ... but not in picture of a hot chick with big tits. I can look in National Geographic for that.

My philosophy has become, "Do not judge others on what they do, but why they do it." If it turns you on, GO FOR IT, just be safe. If it doesn't turn you on ... walk away, but don't judge ... because you will be judged too.

I just totally hate labels. Do what you want to do; be who you want to be ... just don't throw it in someone's face.


posted by Red Teufel 1:36 AM

Tuesday, June 26, 2001

CafePress.com - Red Teufel's Store!

Well, it has finally happened. At 5:12am on Sunday, June 24, 2001. My roommate packed up all his stuff and hopped into a car to D.C. The land of political sinners. I'm still not sure why he did it. Work? He had that here. Social life? He wasn't that big on going out here. Love? Hmmmm....not really sure.

I decided to take on the house on my own. I have to get alot of furniture. Start making the house a home. It is weird being on my own, but kind of cool too. Still hate the bumps in the night, but I'll get over it. I am a god after all. I'll just set any crazy ass bitch on fire! *GRIN*

Because of all this, I don't have alot of cash left over to party all the time like I used to. SO, what I thought would be cool was to have people start buying STUFF from me. I went to a website and created T-shirts and stuff to help promote my site. I don't know if it will work or not, but all extra cash is cool. The good and bad thing is that I don't have to put anything down for the merchandise, but I only get what I have marked up on their set prices. I will tell you this, I only marked it up by $1.01 ... so BUY MORE STUFF SO I GET MORE MONEY!

Speaking of getting money ... it's weird how folks can get cash and prizes out of people. I'm certain that that ability should be somewhere inside of me. I just need to find it and develop it. Maybe I need to take to heart the words of one of my favorite singers:

Lil’ Kim:
yea yea uh
He come through with the money and the garter bags
I let him know we bout that cake straight up the gate uh
We independent women, some mistake us for whores
I'm sayin‘, why spend mine when I can spend yours
Disagree? Well that's you and I’m sorry
Imma keep playing these cats out like Atari
Wear ideal shoes get love from the dudes
4 bad ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge
hey sistas, soul sistas, betta get that dough sistas
We drink wine with diamonds in the glass
bottle case the meaning of expensive taste
if you wanna Gouchie, Gouchie, ya ya
Mocha Chocalate-a what?
Real Lady Marmalade
One more time C’mon now
Red Teufel's Store!
posted by Red Teufel 1:30 PM

Wednesday, June 06, 2001

So ... yet again, I have slacked on the log ... and ... yet again, I have to move.

My new roommate had been offered a positon in DC that would be a great career move for him. He's not stupid. He took it. WOO HOO! Congrats for him! :c)

Now, that leaves me without a roommate. Not wanting to pay a butt load in rent and have NO LIFE at all, I made the hard choice of finding a place on my own.

Since Friday, I had been going through the application process. I didn't know things were so tough these days. I had to list all my creditors, all my debts, and almost all my past dwellings.

I turned in all the paperwork today and the woman looks at me and asks then for my W2 forms and a month's worth of pay stubs! GEEZUS! I was waiting for the sperm samples and the blood tests.

After getting all that stuff from work, I find out that she's already tried to contact my boss. Luckily for me, I was there right when he called her back. Normal things she would ask...but then he goes on about how he just promoted me. Of course she asks how much. I almost shit myself when he said it. 48K! Now, this is no where near what I make ... and I hope this doesn't affect my application process.

It's said, but I have this feeling that I will fail my credit check. I did go ahead and have the back up of being able to find a few folks that would co-sign for me. Of course they will co-sign for the GOD OF REDNESS!

I feel really sorry for people these days that end up having to find places on their own. It's not an easy task at all. Especially on short notice. I'm trying to get my stuff done so I can start moving on the 15th of this month....and anyone say:

HOUSE MOVING PARTY!

Beer and pizza after EVERYTHING is moved. Ya don't want to mix beer and heavy fragile objects.

I think it might be the best thing for me. Get a place on my own. A kingdom for a god and his little familiar. A place that I can't blame anyone else for my issues. A place that I can run around naked at any time that I want. A palce to call my own...and then maybe my home.

It's funny. Since I left my house with my mom, I really haven't had a home to call my own. It's always been someone else dominating the household. My fault, I assume ... I didn't want to step on any toes. But, it is sort of nice living under someone else. Ten times better living under yourself.

Prayers to me making this major transition in life

Of course I will miss my roommate. We've been close. I do consider him a good friend and almost a little brother who gets me in more trouble than I do him. In the short amount of time that we have been together, I have settled a bit. I don't go out every night. Come home after work and relax. We both did each other good.


posted by Red Teufel 12:58 AM

Tuesday, May 29, 2001

I was having my morning pot of coffee and watching the news today. On Fox, there was this segment on School Shootings. They were talking about specialists coming in to see the problem kids before they go postal. Find kids who are bad, make them go to school on saturdays and crap like that.

I still have a firm belief that all problems started when people like Dr. Spock and those other happy non-violent specialist say "time out" or go to the corner. SCREW THAT! What needs to be done is going back to beating the kids. They need to have fear and the knowledge of right and wrong put into them. I've seen kids who have been raised on the "time out" system. They do something wrong, then run to their chair and scream "TIME OUT!" and that's it. That's the worst they see happening to them when they do something wrong.

I was raised that if I was bad or did something majorly wrong, I would have my ass beat. I started not doing things or thinking about stuff before I did it. I made sure that I did the right things so I wouldn't get beat.

Yes, I realize that some people can go too far on this, but you know what. That would be issues with the parents. They are probably not right in the head anyways to see what is going to far.

Let's bring the SPANKING back into the Household.

SPANKING: THE OLD FAMILY VALUE

posted by Red Teufel 11:01 AM

Thursday, May 17, 2001

What a perfect fortune cookie is this!??!!?!?!?!

For a good cause, wrongdoing may be virtuous.

Well, I'm going to be getting off of work soon. Maybe going out for a beer to unwind . . . then I'm going to get ready to go camping tomorrow for the weekend. I am totally needing a get away. What a perfect way to get away. Camping. In the woods. Nekkid. With other nekkid people! WOO HOO!


posted by Red Teufel 11:28 PM

Tuesday, May 15, 2001

Ocean Potion® brand from Sun & Skin Care Research, Inc.

Getting off of work, I take off my shirt and jump in pain. One thing that I really got out of my trip to Mississippi is a very bad sunburn. Who knew that driving at 10am for 6 hours will put you in prime sun time. Who knew that wearing a tank top in a car with big windows and a sunroof lets ALOT of sun in. Who knew that a fair skinned redheaded god could burn like a pig in a b-b-que pit.

Luckily, I found this Ocean Potion "ICE". Feels very good going on. Very cool and refreshing . . . don't smell too bad either. The smell goes well with my BUD ICE...double the ICE for me!

I was thinking about going to a "clothing optional" campground this coming up weekend, but I'm not sure about that right now. I have weird red marks on my body (sunburn spots). I don't know how that would go over.

It still makes me wonder why people are so obsessed with being in the sun. To me . . . it's not that great. I go from white to red, not much in between.

I do have to say that I have learned one thing from my past trip. DON'T LEAVE SO FREAKIN EARLY cause it will only cause me pain.


posted by Red Teufel 1:22 AM

Monday, May 14, 2001

The Daily Mississippian

So, it's been awhile, eh? I have had alot of comments, emails, messages about my lack of entries. . .but all I can say is that I had a block.

Quick Update
I actually was in an artfest and sold 5 of my tiles and one body painting. I didn't make alot of money, but it still felt good selling something and also learning alot. I'm exploring different ideas for my work. I had a great time getting drunk and talking to folks. Even the stuck up art fags that were going "What was this style called? I saw it on TV before." HA! How am I supposed to know . . . I just do it, dumbasses. It's alot of Bullshitting and that's about it. To be honest, it doesn't really seem to have anything to do with talent. I'm trying to figure out what it actually has to do with.

My current roommate might be leaving me. He's been suggested for a promotion in D.C. and he had interviewed for it. It totally sucks for me, that I might have to find a NEW PLACE to move to again, but it would be great for him as far as advancement. I'd rather him not move, rather him get the advancement in Atlanta. Safer city, more friends he knows, security. As of yet, no word . . . deep down . . . I hope he doesn't take it for some reason or another. Yeah, selfish . . . but I am a God or have you forgotten that?

So, working night shift again. The folks at work deemed it a needed change that I got back into the Manegement field. I'm supposed to be a boost to the team, with my "hey bitch, dumbass, are you on crack" comments. I can't complain too much. I did get a bump up in pay. There's loads of stressful work. I'm always busy. I seem to like that better. Makes me feel more alive when I'm sitting down at work and all hell is breaking loose, and I'm just sitting here typing in my Blog. Great guy I am, eh?

I just got home from Mississippi. Went up there for mother's day and I had a good time. Normal drama like always . . . well, normal for my family. Heheeeeee...don't want to go into it...it's just not worth repeating.

Well, those were the highlights of what's happened. Everything else is basically normal shit. Work, drink, play, sleep.

This is a new beginning.

I had some nice comments about my journal. It's cool to realize that alot of people read them and get all fussy when I don't post. I'm happy that I'm actually entertaining someone in my own special way...and it doesn't involve the RED SAUCE!

Back to the hell of work I go. Until next time. CHEERS!


posted by Red Teufel 10:32 PM

Tuesday, April 03, 2001

trickster figure

ill things doth abound around me ... tis a season of change and recovery ...

As sounds roll and lights blizt, I receive an email. It's a response ... but not one that I expected. I had been asked what my feelings were toward someone that I considered a close friend and who had touched my heart. I was questioned and I answered honestly, "I want to focus on our friendship right now" ... The comeback for that was not expected, "... and go fuck yourself."

I feel really bad that I've lost a close friend ... but I'm trying to look on the "brighter" side to see that I stuck to my guns and said the truth. I played no games, did no leading, I was myself.

Someone told me once that I am a Trickster from ancient Myths. Not exactly someone bad, but someone how is the fool and leads others into self discovery. I'm starting to believe this more and more everyday. Life may seem easy for me, joyful, and happy ... but it's a struggle to keep everyone in check and to also try to keep myself in check. Can't let the bad things keep you down ... roll with the punches ... all that shit. It seems like my role in life will keep me the lone wanderer, trying to do the best for others ... even if it's not the best for me.

L.A. stories are delayed.


posted by Red Teufel 9:52 AM

Wednesday, March 28, 2001

The Westin Bonaventure Hotel and Suites - Overview

Well .... it's happened. I am finally moved into a new place. I moved into this lil white house with a lil white fence and a lil white dog house. It's the end of the 2 year marriage that I had. The kids seem to be taking it well.

I'm totally stressing right now. I'm all packed up and waiting to take a flight to L.A. I'm going there for work ... to train drug pushers on how to use this great software that will help them track their drugs.

I'm supposed to be back on Saturday, but I got my company to change my return date to Sunday. My only problem is that my hotel reservations end on Saturday. I'll have to figure something out for Saturday night. *shrug*

BUT I hate to fly. I get air sick ... but I don't puke. I'm going to dope myself up and drink some before I get on that freaking plane. UGH!

I'm sure that I'll have some interesting stories when I get back. *GRIN* I'll tell some...but not all.

Bon Voyage!
posted by Red Teufel 1:30 PM

Thursday, March 22, 2001

Ah.....I'm almost done moving. I'm staying at the new place, but sleeping on the couch. Need to move my bed still. I'm still getting used to being here. It's more of getting used to my roommate. Making sure I don't do anything to get in his way and stuff. But, I'm happy that I have my cat here now. She's getting used to the dog ... it's kinda funny to watch the two interact with each other. My cat could give a fuck about the dog ... but the pup is all about the cat.

Watched the news on TV for the first time in a long time. It's good to be caught up on things going on ... I was actually impressed about one segment. It was about a dog that ran onto a frozen lake, but it was thin ice. The dog wasn't coming to calls and stuck in the middle. A cop finally braved it and found his way to the dog and rescued him. Finally inserting not just BAD things, but a few GOOD things. Balance is always something to have. They need to do it a bit more.

On St. Patty's day ... I ran into an EX. It was weird. Alot came out and I was asked to go home ... but thought it would be best not to go. Being drunk and having serious conversations is not a good mix. I've been told that if a second chance is wanted, to do it ... but I'm still unsteady about it. I gave my new phone number, but haven't heard anything yet. I think I was going to serve on purpose ... good thing I didn't go.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy because I gave up beef again. I've heard about Mad Cow's coming back and no one believed me ... Now, there are SHEEP IN THE UNITED STATES that have the disease! HAHAHHAAAAA! Laugh at me now, you bitches!


posted by Red Teufel 8:57 AM

Tuesday, March 13, 2001

I was packing up some stuff today ... and I found a Gladiator CD that was given to me as a gift from an old love interest, when we first started dating. There was a little insert taped to the inside of it. In latin no doubt! I didn't remember what it meant, so I half assed translated it with alot help from the internet, a good friend, and finally finding the actual poem online.

Ironic:

animula vagula, blandula,
hospes comesque corporis,
quae nunc abibis in loca
pallidula rigida, nudula,
nec, ut soles, dabis iocos...

Little soul, wandering and pale,
guest and companion of my body,
you who will now go off to places pale, stiff, and barren,
nor will you make jokes as has been your wont...


posted by Red Teufel 10:44 PM

Thursday, March 08, 2001

Atlanta Thrashers

So, "ya have to admit it's getting better...it's getting better all the time...." A buddy of mine ended up having an extra ticket for the Hockey game tonight. The Atlanta Thrashers play the Pittsburgh Penguins. If I were a betting god, I'd put my money on the Penguins. I made a mistake this morning when I got dressed. I was thinking that it might be a big chilly at the Arena, and I didn't want to display my god of red fire powers and melt the ice....so, I threw on a shirt...not thinking. It was a Joe Boxer shirt...warm...but not too warm. When I was at work, someone asked who was playing. I told them the Penguins. The response back was that I was pulling for them, since I was wearing their colors. My shirt was YELLOW, BLACK and WHITE. The Penguin colors. OY!

The only team that I pull for, besides the Thrashers, are the Boston Bruins. I had to rush home and change shirts. Just a plain white button down.

I don't mind getting my ass beat for wearing Bruin stuff, but not the Penguins....


posted by Red Teufel 6:01 PM

Sunday, March 04, 2001

index

Okay, I know it's been a bit since my last entry, but I've been trying to just chill through life right now and not dwell on things to much.

I have a new roommate, who is a kick ass guy! We're going to have great fun living together. I've started packing and I'll be moving on up, to the top, to a deluxe lil house in Buckhead (i know that doesn't go with the song.) We've already decided how we would solve arguements...over rounds of X-men Mutant Academy. . .but I'll be kicking his ass all the time.

I'm already looking at doing a cool little garden around the place. It has a nice bit of a yard that could use some splashes of color. It won't be a "Hanging Gardens", but alot better than the "Burning Bush" (no pun intended to redheads)

I had word that I'm slated to be in an Art Festival starting April 19th. I'm not really prepared to set up a booth, but I know I'll at least be able to donate a few pieces for the auction. If I don't make money off of it, I'll at least get my name around the scene.

Rude awakening that people actually read this thing and keep an eye out for updates. Found out there is a subculture of "Journal Harvesters" that actually keep a steady eye on these things. Don't know why, maybe it's some sick fetish.

I have noticed something about the redness as of late. When not focused and controlled, it becomes a bit more concentrated. Almost like Karmic Impossiblities are happening. I went to the U-Haul place the other day to get some boxes, and as I was walking down the stairs, I noticed that each step was a bit higher than normal stairs. I paused in my cosmic awareness and thought, "Someone could fall and hurt themselves if they were not careful." Well, a few hours later, my roommate and her boyfriend come hobbling in. He was limping and whining about his knee and my roommate was yammering about her ass hurting. Needless to say, they were carrying U-Haul boxes. They had a run in with those stairs. *GRIN* Not my fault! I didn't force that to happen! I wasn't even there!

Love, Sex and Intelligence in my life has been pretty screwy these days. In about a week's time, I've had 2 profess love, 4 wanting dates, and 2-3 expressing a "fancy" for me. Me thinketh that I shalt needeth to decideth what I wanteth in my life. (annoying art it not?) But, with things being so displaced in my life. I truely believe I can take my time and not get into anything serious. I'm still a young god.

Well, Kozmo.com just dropped off "Fallen Angels" and "Shaft" and some RED BULL ENERGY DRINK. I think I shall enjoy some down time today.


posted by Red Teufel 3:21 PM

Thursday, February 15, 2001

Okay...this week has been totally bad.

Work has been a bastard, folks at work have been bastards.

My living situation is up in the air. The roommate that I was going to have is having second thoughts about it.

V-Day came up. Turned down a few dates. Think it was the lust thing or maybe I don't want to be with anyone.

My last male role model/father figure died on tuesday from lung cancer. I'm about to drive to Mississippi for the funeral to be with the rest of his old "kids" who are coming from all across the country. He was my boss, my friend, the man I looked up to for almost everything. I had the waterworks yesterday because I have to be my normal stone hearted smart ass tomorrow for the rest of the gang. I hope I don't loose it.

The GA DMV has suspended my D.L. and will not accept my proof of insurance, because it doesn't have the date of the ticket on it. They wanted me to go to court, but I have no time for that.
I'll go to court and have the judge yell at me for a bit and pay the fine...but it's going to start coming out of my "moving funds" which is going to suck.

SO, all in all...the red god is on the verge of a breakdown. But, I need to actually keep up the appearance of godly normality.

My roommate still claims that her boyfriend doesn't live here, but when a guy 1) moves his entertainment system in. 2) moves his computer in. 3) has keys to the place. That usually means he lives here. She wonders why I don't talk to her much, but honestly...I'd love to, but not with him around. When I talk to her, I like having a one on one type of thing and not someone piping in all the time with something that does not concern me.

I'm a lil peeved at her right now...I told her I was going to a funeral and who it was for. She asked me how he died, and I told her....she chuckled. I don't know why she chuckled....but it hit me hard. Chuckling about someone close to me passing away. Not good. It could me my fault...She knows me slightly deep down, but not that well. She doesn't know that I had to leave work early before I became a sobbing basket case. That I got home and cried my eyes out and fell asleep.

Well, time to throw the bags in the car and start driving. I really had to sit down for a second to calm down from the DMV experience. All things will pass. Just ride them out until the storm blows over.


posted by Red Teufel 12:33 PM