endless.
Tuesday, February 06, 2001
i'd like to quit my job now. i'm workin' on it. more later.
posted by aja mccain 2/6/2001 09:58:50 PM
Thursday, January 25, 2001
so i've caught a cold of some sort.
i think it's the SUPER FLU.
work sucks as usual. i took my first official sick day on wednesday, though. that was kinda cool.
the other night i was on the floor reading something from the paper to gabe and all of a sudden he looks behind me and says "uh sweetie, you might wanna get out of the apartment."
and i turn around and there is a little girl, no more than 2 years old standing in our doorway looking kind of confused. i walked up to her and she kinda grabbed for my hand for a minute and then decided to crawl down the stairs..backwards. so i got behind her to make sure she didn't fall. she made it to ground level and started walking and i started walking next to her asking her where her mom was and where she lived. then i see this guy at the other end of the complex screaming for her and she takes off running and crying and he is like yelling "where have you been?! we have been looking every where!" and i kinda half assed yelled back "she was in our apartment" but as soon as i said it i figured he would think i took her in there or something so i just shrugged and went back inside.
i'm just glad somebody was even LOOKING for her. most of the kids around here run around unsupervised cursing at each other with out a parent in sight. it's pretty depressing. i don't mind the 8-14 year olds running around unsupervised so much. but when i see kids in diapers climbing fences and shit, i begin to wonder who the fuck is keeping an eye on the FUTURE of our fucked up america.
it also doesn't sit well with me when i hear 8 year olds calling each other "fucking faggots". i mean, when i was little we would all swear every once in a while. but if we did it was usually followed by "ooOOOooOOOo. you said a BAAD WORD. i'm gonna TEEELLLL.". these kids don't even notice. it's depressing.
don't get me wrong. i'm not an uptight conservative. i don't think "family values" are something politicians of all people should be preaching about, i don't think these kids got this way from watching too much t.v., and i definitely don't think all moms should be soccer-moms. i just think there is a time and a place for cursing like a sailor. whoever claims to be parenting these kids is probably only parenting just enough to meet legal standards. god knows they can't let child protective services take their kids away. that would cut their welfare checks by 75%.
ok, that was harsh. i didn't mean it. i'm sure most of these parents love their kids. i just hope they give them more love then they do ATTENTION AND GUIDANCE.
anyway. that was my rant. straight from a woman who has no kids and has no idea what it's like. but hey, this is america. i can say whatever i damn well feel.
posted by aja mccain 1/25/2001 11:25:18 PM
Monday, January 22, 2001
they shut off our cable today.
and i really don't want to go to work at all.
i don't make enough money.i need to start working more or get another job or something. i feel bad and i feel like gabe has to pay for all my shit because i'm just a fucking slug or something. i don't know. maybe today is going to be a bad day.
i don't know. i feel trapped in my current job and i hate that feeling. i'm not very good at making any sort of important decisions. so, i just stay where i am and complain about it daily.
i don't know what to do about the cable thing. i'm sure i watched too much tv anyway.
posted by aja mccain 1/22/2001 09:00:10 AM
Tuesday, January 16, 2001
wow. i had a really long post. then some button on this blasted keyboard decided to highlight it all and delete it. and no, it wasn't control x because i already tried to paste it back and it didn't work.
fuck this, i'm not typing all that again. you can all gues what i said.
posted by aja mccain 1/16/2001 08:58:42 AM
Monday, January 15, 2001
hi. i'm just trying something. don't mind me. i'll update some other day when it's not bedtime.
posted by aja mccain 1/15/2001 10:54:51 PM
Wednesday, January 03, 2001
blogger is being BROKEN.
posted by aja mccain 1/3/2001 11:50:38 PM
well. that last post was from a weird day.
i think it was the day i saw my uncle. i guess you could call it a "free write" of sorts. words. strung together to make me sound like a
FUCKING LUNATIC.
i ended up posting it, but not uploading it. even then i knew i sounded crazy. i was going to delete it before this post, but after reading it..and rereading it. and rereading it again..it's kind of grown on me. i'm about the only person who reads this anyway. anyone else who reads it knows me well enough to know that some times i go a little nuts. then i go to sleep and wake up renewed and filled with hope.
or something kinda like that.
anyhow, christmas is over. it's a new year. my uncle died on Dec. 23rd, so that was..bad, to say the least. The holiday season is a cursed season in my family, i guess.
my sister came to town for the funeral and stayed for abotu 5 days. she brought my niece. it was great. i miss them so much. my niece is so cute. she'll be 2 this month and i love her and my sister to no end. i hope my sister knows that. i wish i would have told her that every day back when we lived together. but we were teenagers, and we were bitches and we didn't get along very well, i guess. she was a little crazy and i was a little brat.
christmas was pleasant, though. got some good stuff, hung out with family, met some new people. and i got a kick ass bathrobe and my parents bought gabe and i a dvd player. so woop.
oh, i also went to the doctor. got a big shot in my ass, started my period and got on the pill.
i also took a long vacation from work. now i'm back at work, and it is still trying to kill me. they moved me downstairs. i don't know what to make of this. oh well. i just want to go back to school and get financial aid and become a teacher or something. we'll see. lofty aspirations for a girl with no initiative or GUMPTION i suppose.
so yeah, i'm alive, and i think i'm doing ok. prior blog aside, anyway. i still dont' know what i was talking about. i think i was thinking about my uncle..my father..and Jesus.
I don't often think about Jesus.
must have been one of those days.
posted by aja mccain 1/3/2001 11:26:38 PM
Tuesday, December 19, 2000
fragile
screw up
fragile screw up
shine your light in my eyes
take me home
traveling at the speed of nothing
and nothing moves pretty fast
return to my place
return
return me
take me home
home
i feel it happening
returning to me
bringing me in
my warm friend
i'll take care of you. i'm all i've got
they all come and go. and go.
i'm always waiting
waiting for you to return
return to me
return to me
return to me
play my song
play my song and dance with me
take me home.
bless my soul and sleep with me.
-------
posted by aja mccain 12/19/2000 02:18:52 AM
Saturday, December 16, 2000
i've done practically all my christmas shopping online this year.
i swore i wasn't going to do that. oh well. it was easy.
tracking my packages has become a fun game, but frustrating. i hope all the presents for my sister's family make it on time.
my uncle is dying. one of my aunts said she doesn't know if he'll last the weekend. i'm supposed to go see him tomorrow. i haven't seen him in a year. or 2. or so. i'm horrible.
he's a wonderful and caring man. very spiritual, very kind. he means a lot to me.
i have to go now.
posted by aja mccain 12/16/2000 04:32:48 AM
Monday, December 11, 2000
work is trying to kill me.
in other news, we put up some bad ass Christmas lights, and I bought a ghetto mini fake tree with fake snow that makes me itch when it flakes off on me. and it rocks ass.
more later.
posted by aja mccain 12/11/2000 06:47:05 PM
Wednesday, December 06, 2000
television amazes me. not just the technical aspects..you know, like how those people fit in that box don't they get hungry...but the actual programming. like this thing on hbo right now about a "secret network of satanists". secret network. i wonder if they have a newsletter? or their own irc network. and i wonder just how DO they take their babies. somehow i don't think there are recipes out there.
ok, that was crude. i love babies. and not for dinner. but this whole show seems to be about eating babies.
moving on...work is lame. i made an image map today. i was ashamed at how easy it was using a program that does it for me. i hate image maps. but hey, i'm not making my webpage now am i.
i still don't know what's going on for Christmas, but I better figure it out soon. hopefully my vacation time gets approved. it's looking more and more likely that i'll be staying here for christmas. i'm ok with that, but i feel bad. i dunno. holidays are complicated.
it's almost time for southpark. and oh, anyone that has HBO had better watch OZ every chance they get. such a good show.
posted by aja mccain 12/6/2000 09:49:30 PM
Tuesday, February 06, 2001i'd like to quit my job now. i'm workin' on it. more later.
Thursday, January 25, 2001so i've caught a cold of some sort.
Monday, January 22, 2001they shut off our cable today.
Tuesday, January 16, 2001wow. i had a really long post. then some button on this blasted keyboard decided to highlight it all and delete it. and no, it wasn't control x because i already tried to paste it back and it didn't work. fuck this, i'm not typing all that again. you can all gues what i said.
Monday, January 15, 2001hi. i'm just trying something. don't mind me. i'll update some other day when it's not bedtime.
Wednesday, January 03, 2001blogger is being BROKEN.
well. that last post was from a weird day.
Tuesday, December 19, 2000fragile screw up fragile screw up shine your light in my eyes take me home traveling at the speed of nothing and nothing moves pretty fast return to my place return return me take me home home i feel it happening returning to me bringing me in my warm friend i'll take care of you. i'm all i've got they all come and go. and go. i'm always waiting waiting for you to return return to me return to me return to me play my song play my song and dance with me take me home. bless my soul and sleep with me. -------
Saturday, December 16, 2000i've done practically all my christmas shopping online this year.
Monday, December 11, 2000work is trying to kill me.
Wednesday, December 06, 2000television amazes me. not just the technical aspects..you know, like how those people fit in that box don't they get hungry...but the actual programming. like this thing on hbo right now about a "secret network of satanists". secret network. i wonder if they have a newsletter? or their own irc network. and i wonder just how DO they take their babies. somehow i don't think there are recipes out there.
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