9/18/2001

 
a song that is really amusing me right now:

Goodbye Earl
performed by The Dixie Chicks

Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends
All through their high school days
Both members of the 4H Club
Both active in the FFA
After graduation Mary Anne went out lookin'
for a brand new world
Wanda looked all around this town
and all she found was Earl

Well it wasn't two weeks
after she got married that
Wanda started getting abused
She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses
And make-up to cover a bruise
Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care

Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta
On a red eye midnight flight

She held Wanda's hand as they
worked out a plan
And it didn't take 'em long to decide

That Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
Those black-eyed peas
They tasted all right to me Earl
You're feelin' weak
Why don't you lay down
and sleep Earl
Ain't it dark
Wrapped up in that tarp Earl?

The cops came by to bring Earl in
They searched the house
high and low
Then they tipped their hats
and said, "thank you ladies
if you hear from him let us know"

Well the weeks went by and
Spring turned to Summer
And Summer faded into Fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
who nobody missed at all

So the girls bought some land
and a roadside stand
out on Highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham
and strawberry jam
and they don't
lose any sleep at night 'cause

Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
We need a break
Let's go out to the lake Earl
We'll pack a lunch
And stuff you in the trunk Earl
Well is that all right
Good Let's go for a ride
Earl hey
posted by Chris Clark on 11:06 AM

9/17/2001

 
The folks at Entertainment Weekly pose an interesting question in the face of all that has gone on this past week.
Is entertainment relevant anymore?
posted by Chris Clark on 1:08 PM

8/30/2001

 
Something Bradford College students who had to visit the Hale Hospital already knew all too well. I guess this means no more Saturday fucking benders. Get drunk off your ass on Wednesdays. You don't want those motherfuckin weekend doctors pumpin your stomach.

Weekend ER visits more likely fatal
posted by Chris Clark on 8:54 AM

8/21/2001

 
i'm not pro-gun, or pro-nra or anything but this is fucking funny:

Number of doctors in US:
700,000
Accidental deaths caused by doctors per year:
120,000
Accidental deaths per doctor:
0.171

Number of gun owners in US:
80,000,000
Number of accidental gun deaths (ALL AGE GROUPS):
1,500
Accidental deaths by gun owner:
0.0000188

Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times
MORE dangerous than gun owners.

Fact: Not everyone has a gun but everyone has at least one doctor.
WE MUST BAN DOCTORS BEFORE THIS GETS OUT OF HAND!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Chris Clark on 4:04 PM

8/16/2001

 
You know, I found this article on the Entertainment Weekly site and I was quite pleased that they were taking this predicament seriously. Seems Jim's accident from American Pie 2 has prompted an article on whether or not superglue would really create such a sticky situation.

I wonder if they had a similar article when the first movie came out. I imagine the headline would have been, "Does Third Base Really Feel Like Warm Apple Pie? We Ask The Experts!"

Oy vey. Click Me
posted by Chris Clark on 12:50 PM

8/13/2001

 
Somebody keeps visiting my site through a link I posted over on the ViewAskew message boards a long while back. Occasionally they have come from Golfing resorts across the country and now they are coming from some place in California. I wonder why they never bothered bookmarking it. Regardless I think it's pretty cool. Maybe it's a movie star or something.

This is the link they keep coming through.
posted by Chris Clark on 4:09 PM

8/9/2001

 
from MSNBC.com
The plaintiffs contend that the “ability to peer into the cheerleaders’ locker room, and to view them in (various) states of undress, was considered one of the special ’perks’ of being a visiting team of the Eagles.”

Full Story: Cheerleaders file ‘peeping’ lawsuit
posted by Chris Clark on 2:55 PM