:)
posted by SeanBaby 11:07 PM [permalink]

Which leads me to my next point. Apparently Art's receiving about the same number of fan mails that I do, only he gets about four times the hits I do. Do you remember when you were in High school and you used to copy off the nerdy girl who sat next to you? Sure, you liked the fact she helped you pass Gym but you weren't going to talk to her outside of class ever. On the other hand, you know in the back of your mind that nerd turned into a total hottie! Well Art isn't that nerd, hes much better, so do you really want ignore him? His new trainer may have the option to kill you, and that would suck. I guess what Im saying is try to say thanks to Art, hes helping negate your existence, and don't forget to send him naked pics of yourself if youre a girl, his girl friend wont care.. honest!
posted by SeanBaby 8:52 PM [permalink]

FUCK it has come to my attention Blogger sucks ass... more on this shocking anouncement later tonight
posted by SeanBaby 12:42 PM [permalink]

In a shocking announcement today, SeanBaby told a group of two reporters (including himself) that his new SEXED up site may suffer a week of delays, but assures its only for quality control and play balancing. He promised that the new site would contain "150% more breasts, 75% more naked chicks, and a much enhanced cock joke generator!!" In other news, SeanBaby is still anxiously waiting his first FAN mail!!
posted by SeanBaby 2:13 PM [permalink]

Its cool how this post doesnt force me to come up with anything original or funny, and yet at the same time gives the illusion that Im updating frequently. Its simply a reminder of how blogger sucks and will auto archive all my stuff until I actively try to stop it from doing so. However with a giant SEXY new site design coming, I dont think theres really any point.
posted by SeanBaby 4:19 PM [permalink]

Seanbaby is undergoing a big renovation to try to avoid using blogger anymore.. stay tuned to see how hard weve worked to SEX UP this site!!!
posted by SeanBaby 11:58 AM [permalink]

Surprisingly, the three Yaks, who are apparently nigh-invlunerable, decided to make a dash for freedom after surviving being blown through the fence. Much like “The Great Escape,” they quickly dashed into the wooded forest to freedom. From there they have been haunting neighborhood cribs, stealing babies and raising them as their own. Local residents feel it’s only a matter of time until the Yaks come back with their new army of Yak Babies to take over the town and force the other humans into a life of slavery and hard labor. While this reporter was unsure about what exactly would happen, he figured why test fate and decided to get out of there while he still could.
posted by SeanBaby 8:32 PM [permalink]

Mapster - Diablo 2 Utility Released

I've released a program that will let you backup your single player maps before you join a multiplayer game, and then restore them later. This will allow you to keep the explored areas explored. =) If you think this is something you would find useful, download Mapster now, and be sure to send me an email telling me what you think of it!
posted by Arthur Chang 4:07 PM [permalink]

I dont really plan on writing that much here, im simply laying the groundwork for a far greater idea that will possibly be carried to fruition by myself or someone else. I dont think Ive really been drinking enough to effectively critique the movie, but I will offer on terribly profound insight.... the reason this movie wasnt very good was because the hero's barely spent any time explaining their powers to eachother. In the comics they explained their powers at least twice an issue. Heres a 90 minute movie where they barely emote their self doubts and a description of their powers. What the shit is this?!?! Next time, every 10 minutes or so, have each character launch into an in depth monolouge with themselves about their powers and how they must be careful not to abuse them. All I can say is god dammit, Spiderman better have some damn good, multiple explanations of his powers!
posted by SeanBaby 2:24 AM [permalink]

Recently I’ve been too busy and it prevented me from posting to this site, where apparently only Art and I visit, but all that’s ended now. You may be like myself, but I doubt you’re that good, and be thinking to yourself, “I never have enough time to do what I want to do anymore.” Plus, when you’re like myself and drinking all the time, it cuts severely into the time that you can post to your fabulous website. I was distraught until I found a solution. The solution lies right here! Now, instead of being too bombed to post I simply let one of my Canadian fat kids off their leashes and have them scour the Internet looking for funny posts to plagiarize. The added bonus being that if you ever read something here that you think isn’t funny, I can just blame the fat kid! However, if you email me saying that you thought a post sucked and you want me to die with an email resembling, “do0d j00 fuking sux!!”, it’s the fat kid who doesn’t get to eat that night. Go look at their pics again. Do you really want to starve a happy little mini beast in the making?
posted by SeanBaby 10:58 AM [permalink]

Funtime at the Beach for Big O        or, A Weekend of Drinking and Generally Getting F'ed Up

        Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, Big O has just returned from a weekend trip to the beach. I also have a new favorite mixed drink. It's called a Big Bamboo, and it's made from three types of rum, Grand Marnier, orange juice, and something else. No matter. It's a great drink with a real kick. By the way, Big O has a Big Bamboo of his own, but that's for another time.

        Hmmm... what else did I do..? Oh yeah, I got some sun at the beach, I went to the boardwalk, a friend of mine got both of his ears pierced, I read a book, I had dinner at a buffet, and I drank some more. It was fun. I just wished I could remember it all. That whole weekend was kind of hazy.

We doin'.. Big Pimpin', we spendin' G's...

posted by Big O 10:26 PM [permalink]

In a shocking announcement (to the 3 people who check this page, myself included) I have realized that I cant get the motivation to post to this page on a consistent basis until people actually look at it on a consistent basis. Otherwise its me talking to myself about video games, how much I love super heroes, how stupid other people are, or how much I like Natalie Portman. In other words, it would simply be an online journal which I think is stupid because I dont need a journal to tell me what happened in my life. I was there, I remember most of it more or less. Anyways, Ill make sporadic posts and whatever on the rare chance someone actually is reading this page, which I doubt since itll take another couple months for the search engines to register. In the meantime, why dont you pull out a muppet and show him a good time, I know some of you actually want to!!! :)
posted by SeanBaby 2:23 PM [permalink]

I recently recieved this post regarding the name SeanBaby while I was posting how idiotic everyone on the diablo 2 message board was.

Subject:How about impersonating Sean Riley?
From:Vicer
Host:x2modem37.digisys.net
Date:Wed Jun 28 20:45:30

I'd say that's all kinds of gay in and of itself. You actually made a full webpage where you can pretend to be someone who is only a modest celebrity at best and you're denouncing how other people get wrapped up in their fantasies?

Vaidency

I decided Id reply to this here. I dont claim to be the SeanBaby. I never have claimed to be him either. Im glad you stalked him out well enough to know his real name, even though you only think of him as a "modest celebrity at best." Second, while I do most of the articles and commentary here, I didn't create this website where I dont pretend to be SeanBaby. As far as me denouncing how other people get wrapped up in their fantasies, its my God given responsibility to point out what a dumbfuck you are. Youre in a video games message board posting how youre going to, "be a cool bounty hunter", while youre stuffing your face full of chocolate, chugging down mountain dew, and patting yourself on the back for putting the fear into some other poor video game player. Right now youre looking like a total jackass but thats cool, I know youre mainly jealous because your name isnt Sean and EugeneBaby just sounds pathetic. Now, your entire post seems to have an "I want to have sex with you" subtext. So Ill just say that you might be dissapointed since Im not the SeanBaby you cover your room in posters of and jerkoff to, but I mean.. sure Ill try to make time for you. I love all my fans.
posted by SeanBaby 1:48 AM [permalink]

Just when you think things on the internet probably couldnt get any worse then they are, you go and find a site dedicated to making Pooh your bitch. Although many of you thought it was impossible, I've actually found a group of people more pathetic than all those people checking alt.binaries.pictures.trekgirls to see which female on the show had the biggest tits. Maybe theyre social rejects and will never be able to talk to a girl, but now they can say, "shit, at least I dont fuck puppets." You can thank me for lifting you on the coolness hiearchy with emails and gifts or treats, Ill accept anything!!!
posted by SeanBaby 2:22 PM [permalink]

Big O's New York Adventure        or, NYC: Where the F&$% is the Central Air Conditioning?!

        Hey folks, Big O is back from New York, and what a weekend it has been! The drinking! The partying! The beautiful women! A hedonist's dream! However, I've said this before, and I'll say it again: New York is a nice place to visit, but I sure as hell don't want to live there. Here are some observations I've made.

1)   I think the only qualification you need to be a NYC cab driver is a face. And maybe some body odor.

2)   Those MTV groupies who hang out in Times Square during Total Request Live are really annoying. If any of you losers are reading this, then let me say: Nobody thinks you're the least bit cool. Stop holding up traffic, get a life, and go home.

3)   As far as I can tell, New Yorkers enjoy urinating in their subway stations. Don't believe me? Go up there and take a whiff yourself.

4)   Despite the cultural richness of the city, many parts of New York City are not equipped with central air conditioning. Instead, more primitive window units are still being implemented, even in these modern times. This bothers me. A lot.

5)   In the summer, you can actually feel dirtier just by walking around outside. Trust me on this.

6)   It's rather expensive to live in New York City. Pay phones still cost 25 cents here, but 85 cents for a can of soda?! 70 cents for a Snickers bar?! $25 cover charge at a club?! What a bunch of theiving bastards!

So what did I learn from this trip? I learned that you shouldn't buy into any sort of hype, it's important to wear comfortable walking shoes, and that I am perfectly justified in thinking that Maryland is the greatest place. Period. The other 99% of the world can kiss my sexy ass. Let the flaming commence!

posted by Big O 12:12 AM [permalink]

Rumor has it that today is the day that our benevolent host, ArtChang.Com, registers this page with browsers. Accordingly I am prepared to be inundated with a constant flow of fan mail that is sure to pour in. If it doesnt, thats cool too since Ill just make up fan mail and post it here, sorta like comic books do.
posted by SeanBaby 2:20 PM [permalink]

These individuals are unfortunately stuck in, what many scientists call, a "fucking social vacuum", and upon entering the real world will, "explode". Just because you’ve deprived your child of a mass media outlet doesn’t mean you should take such an elitist attitude about it. All you’re doing in the long run is making your child explode. (If you don’t believe me, just re-read the previous sentences where I quoted the scientist.) I call people who attempt to brain wash me and remove my contacts to the outside world oppressive, fascist bastards. I guess these kids call them Mom and Dad.
posted by SeanBaby 8:56 PM [permalink]

A True Milestone        or, No Golden Crapper for Big O

       Yesterday, I had the chance to visit Evergreen House right here in Baltimore. It's a house that belonged to an insanely rich couple, and now the house has been made into a museum. It's a great house that has a great collection of art. The best part though, was this one bathroom. The walls, floor, and ceiling are done up in Roman mosaic and the bathtub, footbath, and toilet are made of brass. The pipes, faucets, and medicine cabinet are gold plated. So in that bathroom, you had something of a Golden Toilet. Now if the tour guide had let me use it, then my life would have been complete. "Indecent exposure", they said. Denying a man's wish to use a gold toilet, that's indecent. I've just about had it up to here with these "laws" and this thing called "social convention". To Hell with them, I say!

       Tomorrow, I'm going up to New York City. Next week, I'll tell all about it. Peace.

posted by Big O 5:19 PM [permalink]

SeanBaby Exclusive        or, Here Comes the Big O!

       Seanbaby has begun to form a crack reporting team to reach out from the far ends of the Earth, Baltimore Md, and touch you in the very special way that priests like to touch altar boys. Big O has written this in order to let you get to know him better before you invite him over to dinner.

       Good evening. In contrast to my cohort, Seanbaby, I'm an equal opportunity hater. I think Mr. Harding and Mr. Karso both need such a smack. I read both of their "journalisic endeavors", and I had to skim the rest of their respective articles after the first paragraph, when it became immediately apparent that if one were to read these articles too closely, his or her IQ would drop. Whatever happened to simply reviewing games? Why all the fluff? Why try so hard to prove that you're funny or that you might have some writing talent? These are gaming websites, for cryin' out loud. Just do your job. Know your role and shut your mouth.

       I was going to write some reviews of movies I've got on DVD, but I really don't know where to start. I'm not even sure how to describe my taste in movies. Maybe it would help to describe it if I said that I like a lot of the "middle" movies in trilogies. Rocky II, The Godfather Part II, and The Empire Strikes Back are some of my favorites. Rocky II I liked because it was a good movie, and this time Rocky wins. The Godfather Part II and The Empire Strikes Back I like because the bad guys are the winners, not because the good guys are incompetent, or because of a technicality, but because they're that damn good. Michael Corleone kills his older brother right after their mother dies; and Darth Vader freezes Han Solo, cuts off Luke's right hand, and then tells him that he's his daddy. It doesn't get much better than that.

posted by Big O 5:01 PM [permalink]

I was about to go to sleep when I found one of the dumbest articles ever written. Just when I spent about a paragraph insulting Chris Harding I run across this. Now I have to go back on everything I said and apologize to the conglomerate that makes up the Adrenaline Vault, and a big "Im sorry baby" goes out to Mr. Harding. Obviously I haven't been reading much in the field of gaming reviews to realize that is an untapped well of idiocy that's starting to overflow at the rim. Im not saying Im the funniest person on the entire earth, just pretty damn close, but I just dont see it. What would posses an individual to go to the mall and document his trip with a camera? I mean, maybe it sounded funny at first, but perhaps somewhere along the way, as often happens, the humor was lost. Is there anything more pathetic than documenting a trip to the mall? Oh yeah, I know.... if the the trip to the mall is for a video game. There cant be anything more pathetic than that!!! You wouldn't think so, but then again, youre not Dave Karso are you? You couldnt possibly hope to comprehend the comedic stylings that take place inside this individuals head. He managed to even one up himself by documenting SEVERAL days of this. At the second page I was numb beyond belief, and simply gave up hope on humanity as a whole. But it was quickly reinstated when I read that golfer, James Parker, had his testicles ruptured from the impact of a golf ball that was hit by Michael Douglas, and one testicle had to be removed. I realized that If I try hard enough, maybe one day I could be the golf ball to Dave Karso's nuts.
posted by SeanBaby 12:43 AM [permalink]

Shaft: If you liked the original, you'll like this one. Samuel L. Jackson is great, as usual. I never saw the original, but I feel this incarnation is rather unmemorable... not bad, but not good either. If you're bored and want to kill two hours then by all means go see it. It does have some good scenes, but I was rather disappointed.

Titan AE: How old are you? Younger than 12? Then go see this movie, because you'll love it. But if you're much older than that, you're going to be making a terrible mistake if you see this unless you're a big fan of computer graphics. This is one of the few movies I have ever watched where removing the dialogue would actually make it better - it is really that atrocious. The only redeeming features are the special effects, which are usually interesting and in some places rather stunning. See it if you must take the kids, but otherwise you have been warned.

Gone in 60 Seconds: This movie rocked. It is easily one of the best movies of the summer so far... much more enjoyable than even M:I-2. Lots of cars you'd kill to own, and a great car chase sequence at the end. What's not to like about it? Go see it. Now.

Mission: Impossible 2: Ehh... another mixed bag of a movie. I'd say go see it if you can make the cheaper matinee showing. Perhaps I was expecting too much, but John Woo does not deliver in traditional John Woo style. The action sequences feel rather tame compared to his older Hong Kong movies. This is not to say they are boring - far from it. Most of them are actually rather well done. But there is none of that over-the-top adrenaline pumping mayhem I am used to seeing from Woo. Overall this movie is decent, but it could have been so much more.
posted by Arthur Chang 10:51 PM [permalink]

I cant believe someone actually wrote this piece of crap. Its a ridiculous doctoral thesis on a video game, which starts out talking about his house. He should be ashamed and embarrased. Its probably the worst piece of journalism Ive ever seen in my life, and thats counting the school Newspaper. I honestly believe he has made the world a worse place with this article. Maybe part of the problem is me though. Ive never been a really big fan of video games honestly. I played Diablo 2 for a little bit until I found out that since I never played I wasnt a high enough level to stop people from killing me, and yet I never cared enough to really level up. My games consisted of calling someone a bitch then running away while they chased me. It was one of those viscious circles that cant be broken. Well almost cant be broken...... I uninstalled the game. The only game I really played for any length of time recently has been the Sims. Mostly because someone promised it got better. They lied. Maybe, when I have to study for my next Diff Eq test, I'll shrug that off and write a review of the game. Im not sure where Im going with this exactly, since its mostly just an excuse to not study right now, but perhaps Ill end up with a profound message like the ones that we used to see on GI JOE, or read in any Ron L Hubbard book, reminding us that knowing is half the battle. Never before had so much learning and personal growth taken place in a single 30 minute span. (Ive never actually read any of Hubbards books, but I cant imagine any of them taking more than 30 minutes) But Its more likely that Ill simply end this post right here since I dont even know if anyone will ever actually see this. Maybe later Ill write a review of the Sims, maybe Ill stare at pics of Natalie Portman, or maybe Ill just sleep, and ignore the impending doom of my tests. I guess I wish the world was an easier place to live in, like it was in Superfriends tv shows. No one ever gets shot, rather the world is full of retarded villains and heroes who would take the form of water and the shape of a bucket. Hey, maybe its still possible to achieve the nirvana that the superfriends reached if we dont stop trying. Its like some quote I heard form someone somewhere, "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars." Maybe you too can take the shape of a gorilla, or the form of a pile of uninspired donkey shit someday.
posted by SeanBaby 7:30 PM [permalink]

Ok it's up and running. Have fun, be funny.
posted by Arthur Chang 1:29 AM [permalink]